AN: Alrighty, so I know it took forever for an update, but here it is! I am finally on a break from my life and have time to write forever and always! :) so I am. If you are reading this, thanks for sticking with it! I hope you enjoy.
The rest of the night was spent going through the rest of our music. Cd after cd was handed over and we talked about anything and everything, like always. Around ten, Esme called Edward telling him it was time to come home. He stood up and picked up his pile of cds. I looked up at him as he bent over and kissed me on the forehead, smiling at me softly.
"Goodnight, Bella. Sleep well," he said as he walked out of my room. I just sat there quietly, my head touching my forehead where he had kissed me. He had done it before, but it never failed to make me all tingly inside. I sighed softly and began putting my cds back in the box. I shoved it under my bed and stood up.
"Goodnight, Edward," I whispered quietly to my empty room. As I fell asleep that night, I wondered what it would feel like to have Edward kiss me for reals, like he does Tanya.
The next morning, I awoke to the obnoxious sound of my alarm beeping incessantly.
"Bells, hurry up! Edward is gonna be here anytime and your breakfast is getting cold," I heard Charlie yell up the stairs. I sat up in bed, mulling over Charlie's words. Breakfast? He made breakfast? I jumped out of the bed and ran down stairs, nearly falling flat on my face as I tripped over my shoes at the bottom of the stairs. I walked into the kitchen and saw Charlie sitting at the table, newspaper in hand, picking at a piece of bacon on the plate in front of him. I looked across the table and saw a similar plate set at my usual place, only this plate was filled with a pancake, scrambled eggs, and 2 strips of bacon. I stared shocked, my mouth hanging open.
"I…dad…what…why?" I managed to stutter as I plopped down in my chair, brushing my tangled hair out of my face, and stared at Charlie. He glanced up, turning slightly pink, and folded the newspaper, setting it down next to his plate.
"Well, I had some extra time this morning and I know today is a big day for you. I wanted to do something special for you," he mumbled quietly. "Besides, you are always making me meals and I feel bad I never do anything for you." I smiled widely at him and began shoving the food into my mouth. A sour taste filled my mouth and I immediately started gagging on the food. As tears filled my eyes, reached blindly across the table to grasp Charlie's cup of orange juice and downed the entire thing, swalling with it the disgusting "food." I slammed the cup down in front of me and gripped the table, gasping for air. As I calmed down, I looked over to see Charlie staring at me with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open with a piece of bacon halfway to his mouth. I smiled weakly at him and mumbled something about "wrong pipe" and "swallowed weird" hoping he didn't notice me shifting the food around on my plate, and not really eating. He nodded slowly, grunting acknowledgment and stood up from the table, going over to wash his dish.
"Just leave the dishes, dad, I'll do them," I told him, standing up from the table to putting my hand over his, slowly taking his plate and setting it on the counter. "You're gonna be late for work."
"Thanks Bells. Have a good day," he said as he patted me awkwardly on the shoulder and picked up his belt from the table. As soon as I heard the door close, I walked back over to the table, picking up my plate of…dare I say food? I slowly brought it closer to my face and held it under my nose, sniffing slightly. As soon as the stench hit my nose, I started gagging and set the plate down roughly on the table. "Food my ass," I mumbled to myself.
The sound of a horn made me jump out my skin and I glanced over at the clock and saw I was running late. I ran to the door and yanked it open. The volvo was parked in front of the house and Edward was sitting inside, looking at me with a "What the hell" kind of face. I held up my finger, mouthing "one minute," slammed the door shut and sprinted up the stairs to my room. I yanked my pajamas off and started opening random drawers, throwing on the first pair of jeans I saw and a t-shirt on top. I heard the door open downstairs and Edward walk into the house.
"Bells, come on! We're gonna be late again…" he said as he trailed off. I heard him walking around again, and I assumed he was heading for the kitchen. I quickly pulled a brush through my hair and put it up into a high ponytail. I brushed my teeth and splashed my face with water, hoping I looked presentable enough. I ran back into my room and started yanking on one of my shoes when I heard Edward mumbling to himself. "…perfectly good breakfast…waste…mmm bacon…" My eyes widened and I gasped in horror.
"EDWARD NO!" I grabbed my other shoe and backpack laying next to bed and hopped down the stairs, sprinting into the kitchen to see Edward had shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth. His head snapped up to me and I watched as his eyes widened in horror as he started sputtering and gasping. I walked calmly over to the cabinet, grabbed a glass, and filled it with water as he continued choking on the…food. He was grasping the edge of the table, much like I had, with a terrible look on his face. I handed him the glass, patting him on the back, watching to make sure he didn't throw up. He chugged the water and slammed the glass down, mirroring my earlier reaction, and turned to me with wide eyes.
"What the hell was that?" he asked increduously. I patted him one last time and took the plate to the sink and began dumping the remaining food down the drain.
"That, my dear friend, was Charlie's idea of breakfast," I said calmly as I finished washing the dishes. I turned to him and gave him a simpathetic smile. "I know, it can't even be classified as food. But it was sweet of him to try anyways, right?" I sat down at the table and finished putting on my shoes. I looked up at Edward to see him just staring at me with a weird look.
"What?"
"Nothing. Ready?" He asked as he shook his head and held his hand out to help me up. I grasped his fingers as he gently pulled me up and grabbed my backpack that I had dropped in my haste to help Edward and my guitar, Anne, that was sitting by the front door. As we made our way out to the car, Edward kept glancing back at me. He opened the door for me and took my backpackand Anne, setting them in the back seat, ran around to his side, climbing in and taking off for school. Minutes later, thanks to his terrifying speeding habits, we arrived and I clampered into the back seat, grabbing my backpack and Anne and hopped out of the car. It was chilly today, so I pulled my jacket tight around me and huddled into Edward's side as we made our way over the Emmett's car where the gang was waiting for us. Alice was curled into Jasper and Rosalie into Emmett and I was suddenly jealous of my friend's and their good fortune. Even though my position matched theirs, it was done without any reciprocation of my feelings.
"Hey guys, happy Wednesday!" I yelled cheerfully as we reached the huddle of our friends. They all turned and looked at me with strange expression. Alice reached out to feel my forehead and Emmett spit out an, "are you high?" while Rosalie just chuckled.
"Are you all really forgetting what happens today? I'm hurt," I said dramatically as I placed my hand over my chest. Edward looked down at me quizically as he raised his eyebrows.
"What's happening?" he asked.
"My audition? For the winter showcase!" I said with a sigh at the end, shaking my head at his poor memory and gesturing down to the guitar case I was holding. "It's today after school at 3. You all said you'd come last week, remember?" Oh yeahs and I remembers chimed around me as they all nodded in rememberance. Except Edward who was shuffling his feet uncomfortably. I put my hand on his arm as he avoided looking at me.
"Edward?" I asked, knitting my eyebrows together. He sighed heavily and lifted his eyes to mine. He had another strange look on his face, something like remorse? Guilt? This can't be good I thought to myself.
"Bella, I'm so sorry but I promised Tanya I would take her into Port Angeles to help pick out her dress. I wish I could be there, but she's just been so angry lately and I can't cancel on her," he said as he implored me to forgive him with his eyes. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I had told him weeks ago that this was a really important audition for me because not everyone gets asked to perform, and I did. I needed my best friend to be there for me and he was bailing. So. Not. Ok. He had both hands on either of my arms, grasping me tightly as he stared into my face. I shoved them away roughly.
"I told you about this weeks ago. You have been with me so many times when I've been practicing. Edward, you are the one that encouraged me to go for it! And now your bailing on me? What the hell is that?" I stared at him in anger as he blew air out of his mouth that he seemed to be holding. He looked at the others standing around us and then back at me.
"She's my girlfriend, Bella. I can't back out on her now."
"And I'm your best friend, Edward. But I guess that doesn't mean much to you, now, does it? I have always been there, whenever you asked me to be, no questions asked."
"I know you have, and I couldn't ask for a better best friend! But I can't screw it up with Tanya. I'm standing one on leg with her right now, and if I do anything to piss her off, she's done with me. Please, Bella, I'm asking you to understand." He sounded so sincere at that point that I almost forgave him. Almost.
"Edward, I understand," I said quietly. His shoulders immediately slumped in relief and a smile began forming on his lips. It quickly faded when I looked up at him and he saw the dark expression in my eyes. "But that doesn't mean I forgive you. This is a huge thing for me, and if you're not there for it, then I don't know what it means for us. I've tried to be supportive of you and Tanya, but right now, you're killing our friendship. If you're not there, don't expect me to forgive you." I brushed his hands off my arms and turned away from him, grasping Alice's outstreched hand. As we walked away, I felt the others fall into step behind us and I glanced back to see Edward standing alone, watching our retreating forms. I sighed heavily and faced forward again.
"Hey. Don't worry about him, lil' sis. I'm sure he'll be there," Emmett said as he put an arm around my shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.
"Yeah, he's just being an idiot right now, but he'll come around," Rose said as she took Emmett's hand and pulled him away to their next class. She smiled at me as she turned around and they walked away.
"We're on your side, Bells. And we'll all be there today, cheering you on." I turned to Jasper and quietly thanked him as he too went to his class.
Thankfully, Alice and I had the same first period so we could talk about what just happened. She continued holding my hand and rubbing my back soothingly as we made our way into English. As we sat down at the table, she looked over at me and sighed.
"Bella, my brother is an idiot for not seeing what you really mean to him. Just give him time. He's confused right now, and with Tanya constantly bitching at him, he's stressed and annoyed. I'm not saying he's right to chose her over you, because he's not, especially for something as important as this, but please please don't be too harsh on him." She genuinely looked worried and I opened my mouth to reassure her when the door opened and the teacher walked in, starting class and ending our conversation.
The rest of the day flew by quickly. I ended up skipping lunch, partly because I didn't want to talk to Edward, on the off chance that he was actually sitting at our table, and partly because I wanted to get in some last minute practicing. Sitting in the music room by myself, I was able to get my mind off things for half an hour and just let the music consume me. Anne was a life saver. She really was. Strumming her softly was like a religion. It soothed me and gave my mind a break from all the thinking it was doing. Unfortunately, I couldn't hide out there for the rest of my classes. I headed for Biology as the bell sounded and barely made it in time. Edward was already at the lab table, head bent over a notebook as he was already scribbling down the notes on the board. I sat down quietly next to him and focused soley on the teacher and the lesson for the next hour and a half. I ignored all the notes he slid my way, and I could tell he was getting annoyed as he gave a silent huff and wadded up all the unopened paper laying in front of me at the end of class. As soon as the bell rang, I sprinted out the door, successfully avoiding any conversation with him. I went through the rest of my classes quietly, my anxiety over the audition building quickly as the day came to a close.
As the last bell rang, my nerves were on end. I felt like I was going to throw up any moment and my hands were shaking as I made my way to the music room one last time to grab Anne. Walking over to the auditorium, I tried to focus on the audition, but my thoughts kept straying to what this could mean for me. The winter showcase was a big deal here because representatives from a few of the top music schools would be there to listen. Unfortunately, only 10 students were selected to perform. Double unfortunately, at least a hundred auditioned. This audition was almost more important than the showcase because most the students that perform get offered some type of a scholarship to the music school of their choice. At that point, it's just a matter of who gives you more. At this point, it's a matter of making your talent known. I was lucky that I was able to skip a step in the audition process. Because I was asked by my music teacher to perform, I was able to avoid the first audition. The first one was a week ago, where the students underwent an interview and technical evaluations. Because I was in the advanced music course and my technique was pretty sound, my teacher recommended to the panel of judges that I skip that audition step, which they agreed to.
When I reached the backroom of the auditorium, I saw all the other students auditioning waiting in line, tuning their various instruments and voices. I sat down in a far corner, away from everyone else and took deep breaths. I slowly opened the case and took out Anne, running my fingers over her neck and snapping the strings, making sure none of them were loose. I strummed a couple chords to make sure she was still in tune from lunch, and began fiddling with my audition song. It was one of mine, written one summer when I was visiting my mom. I had written it was a poem, originally, but once I got Anne, I added a tune and tweaked it until it was perfect. It was a good choice for the audition because it showed off my guitar skills more than my voice.
Because I was invited to audition, I was the second one to perform for the judges. Angela, another girl from my advanced course, was performing now. Boy could that girl play the fiddle. It was ridiculous how talented she was. I knew for sure that she would continue on. If anyone deserved it, she did. As her song came to a close, I could hear her thanking the judges and then she appeared backstage where we all were waiting.
"Angela, that was amazing," I said sincerely as she let out a long breath.
"Thanks. Good luck, Bella. You'll do great," she said as she gave me a sweet smile. Just then, I heard my music teacher call my name. I grabbed my guitar and walked out from behind the curtain. I breifly heard cheers from the back of the auditorium, but I couldn't focus on that now. I walked swiftly to the stool sitting in the middle of the stage and faced the judges as I sat down and situated Anne.
"Whenever you're ready, Miss Swan," my teacher called out. I glanced up to see her give me a reassuring smile and a thumbs up. I swallowed thickly and began. I picked out the beginning chords and immediately felt my body relax as I got lost in the song. This song, like so many others, was my happy place. I knew it inside and out, and I played my heart out, pretending like I was playing for me.
So there goes my life,
Passing by with every exit sign.
It's been so long,
Sometimes I wonder how I will stay strong.
No sleep tonight,
I'll keep on driving these dark highway lines.
And as the moon fades,
One moment gone, only twenty more days.
But I will see you again,
I will see you again,
a long time from now.
And there goes my life,
Passing by with every departing flight.
And its been so hard,
So much time so far apart.
And she walks the night.
How many hearts will die tonight?
And will things have changed?
I guess I'll find out in seventeen days.
But I will see you again,
I will see you again,
a long time from now.
My body aches,
And it hurts to sing.
No one is moving.
And I wish that I weren't here tonight,
But this is my life.
And I will see you again,
I will see you again,
a long time from now
And I will see you again
I will see you again a long time from now
As the song came to a close, I breathed a sigh of relief. I stood up on shaky legs and quietly thanked the judges. As I walked to the back room, I looked to the back of the auditorium, squinting against the bright stage lights and saw people standing in the back, clapping and waving wildly. My heart dropped when I counted. There were only four.
Awww! Poor Bella :( Who wants to go hunt down Edward with me? Anyways, that glorious and wonderful song is Hello, I'm in Delaware by Dallas Green, an awesome artist who knows how to jam. Make sure to go check him out :) Again, wonderful people, thanks for reading! And make sure to review. I love hearing your opinions!
Peace out!
-Mel
