A/N
WARNING: SWEARING
Thanks so much for the comments! This story is getting so much attention! This chapter is from Blaine's POV! Enjoy!
Wes looked down at me as he slowly reached out his hand. I grabbed onto his hand and pulled myself up. David slowly pushed me towards the bed first sitting down himself, then motioning for me to follow. I sat down groaning slowly. I ran a hand through my hair, the gel was loosening its hold and my curls were starting to show.
"You want to tell us what the fuck just happened?" Wes said, starting to pace back and forth in front of me. Wes and David looked at me expectantly. I stammered and looked away.
David turned to my pillow and gasped. I got up from my bed quickly and made my way to the door. I needed to get out of this situation now. David motioned to Wes, getting him to stop me. David picked up the piece of paper and waved it in my face.
"What the fuck? We told you to get rid of everything!" Wes said looking at me, and then at David. I ducked my head and shuffled over to my bed. I stared at the picture of Derrick that was in David's hand.
"I-I-I'm so sorry…" I managed to stutter out. I knew I should have hidden the picture before falling asleep. Even if I did try and explain it to them they would never get it. I couldn't forget. I didn't deserve to forget. It was my fault anyways, maybe if I hadn't been such a tease.
Wes interrupted my thoughts "Why are you apologizing to us? We just want you to get better…" He trailed off and smiled slightly at me.
I got off the bed and walked over to my bookshelf. My hand trailed lightly over the textbooks. I turned around facing my best friends.
"I am getting better. Tonight was just a relapse. I promise you guys I'm getting better." I smiled slightly, lying through my teeth.
"We know you're lying Blaine. We have always been there for you. Don't you remember?" David asked, widening his eyes slightly. Wes patted the bed and looked up at me.
I walked over to him and sat down. Of course I remembered everything they've done fore me. I could never forget the kindness and acceptance they've offered me. I sighed slowly and began picking lint off of my grey slacks.
"It was Kurt." I said slowly and quietly. I looked up from my pants and saw Wes motioning for me to continue. I nodded slowly and continued.
"He told Mr Schuester that he loved me…" I said stammering slightly.
"What is bad about that? I thought you felt the same way." David asked, clearly confused. I got up again, getting ready to pace when Wes pulled me back down to the bed.
"He doesn't know me! I'm a disgusting sick monster!" I yelled out, my face turning red with anger and embarrassment. I shouldn't have told them the truth.
But it was so true! Kurt needed someone nice. I'm not nice, I'm awful. If I wasn't bad I wouldn't have been…violated. Kurt shouldn't even look at me. I deserve to die alone.
"Blaine!" David shouted, pulling my face up, forcing me to look at him.
"Never ever say that! You know it's not true! You're the most wonderful kind hearted person I've-we've ever met!" David say quickly, searching my eyes.
"It is true…" I muttered looking down.
David and Wes looked at each other and sighed.
"Why were you crying before?" Wes asked slowly. I shifted awkwardly and groaned.
"The nightmares came back." I said, tears seeping out of my eyes. I felt so embarrassed. They shouldn't have to deal with my crap. David pulled me close to him. He rubbed my back while I cried softly into the crook of his neck.
"Maybe you should continue the therapy?" David whispered softly into my ear. I pulled away from the hug and shook my head. The therapy didn't help. It never would. Talking about what happened just made it worse.
"Are you sure Blaine?" Wes asked, looking at me with pleading eyes. I knew they wanted me to be alright, but I'm not sure that would ever happen. I would try though, just to make them happy.
"I don't need therapy. I need…something…" I said, trying hard to figure what I needed. Maybe it was Kurt? Maybe he was what I needed. But even if that was true, I wasn't what Kurt needed. Kurt might want me, but he doesn't know me.
Kurt see's my outside shell. Not my awful disgusting insides. Only Wes and David had ever seen that part of me. I'm still ashamed they ever saw it though. No one should see such a despicable shitty person.
"What, do you need?" David spoke calmly, trying to get me to open up.
"I have no bloody idea!" I cried, my voice going louder then I expected it to. I brushed a few tears that escaped from my eyes and whimpered.
"I'm sorry for being so crazy. You guys are the best." I told them both. Wes's face darkened with anger as I apologized.
"Never ever apologize for anything Blaine. We are here because we want to be." Wes said, whilst David nodded and shot me a reassuring smile.
I stood up slowly and spoke "You guys are the best. I don't you deserve best friends like you." My eyebrows scrunching up in emotion.
"I love you guys so much." I said slowly. Wes and David stood up and brushed their pants softly. They shot each other a look and moved closer. They pulled me into a strong hug.
For once in my life I felt secure. Not safe, but secure. The pain didn't stop, but for once there was a window opening bit by bit. Maybe sometime I could push my way out and see the light of day.
Authors Note:
OMG! Poor Blaine!
Reviews make me smile. You like when I smile, right? RIGHT?
