A/N: I just got the inspiration to write this even though I wasn't going to write for a while. So here is the ending to my story.
The moon is my only light source and as I listen to the annoying, barking dogs, I wish to be one. I want to be one of them, a dog… or a cat or a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I could live their life, free and without human emotions or thoughts. If I were not me I could be happy and able to live. I hate my life, so bound with mistake, none of them mine, and full of dread and sorrow. If I were a wolf I could run free.
I'm illuminated by the moon, the sky tis so beautiful. 6:32. In half an hour I will have to live my life. I love the cool wind on my bare shoulders, the sounds of the night, the sparkling stars, and the moon. It's so lovely where I lay, out on this cold winter day.
The trees around me are bare and look awfully sad. They tremble in the wind, looking so fragile without their green leaves.
I wish I could write without having to write. My thoughts just magically appearing on the page without my hand, the Sharpie, my muscles having to move, wasting useless energy. It's getting harder to see, the darkness surrounding me. The paper ruffling in the wind. The tree's limbs rubbing together. The dogs in my neighbors' yards barking for nothing. The crushing leaves sound coming from the quieter one. Few houses around me, that I can see, are decorated for Christmas.
I hate Christmas. Two years ago was the first bad Christmas. It didn't feel like Christmas because Christmas is about family. That year, two years ago, I didn't have a family. It was broken apart. So every year, no matter who I spend it with, mom or dad, I still feel alone. I don't have a family anymore, so when Christmas is here I cry.
I feel alone- no- abandoned. My mom doesn't care about me. She makes me feel as though I'm not important anymore. I know she loves me, but she doesn't show it. 6:45. In a quarter of an hour she will be home and I will go on as if nothing is bothering me.
My neck hurts, but I want to write my problems, even though I know it won't help. My feet and butt hurt, holding me in place on this roof.
I love the moon and stars in the night sky. They make me feel as though I'm not alone.
The warmth. It's inviting. But I don't want to live in this house. I want to color my walls black with the Sharpie, to show my sorrow that no one can see.
This had no meaning to it
I just had the urge to write.
So now I stop these random thoughts
and live on as if nothing is
wrong.
I look back down at the paper I had written so long ago. I tried to remember writing it, but I couldn't. It was during harder times, so long ago, that I couldn't remember. I knew I was on the roof of my old house, laying there, staring at the beautiful starry sky. I don't remember why I wrote it. It was too long ago.
I set the paper back in the box. I was unpacking my belongings and the paper was among all of my old drawings and school binders I never threw away. School. It was so long ago that I graduated from high school and went to college. College. I was dreading it. It was around the corner and I didn't want to go to it. I remember feeling this way about high school, which was Hell, but near the end of it started turning out amazing.
I had fixed my attitude and my friends were actual friends. They cared for me. After my grades had slipped when going through the tough times, I was bringing them up. School was easy once again. I had so many friends by the end of high school. I was well known and everyone looked up to me. I loved it. I also had the best boyfriend. We dated so long I was waiting for it to end, but it lasted throughout high school.
I sighed. The memories were so bad, but then were suddenly good. I sighed again and closed my eyes. "What are you doing?" I opened my eyes and looked over at the person in my doorway of my new apartment that was really close to the college I was going to.
"Unpacking," I said gesturing to the boxes, "and remembering high school." I sighed and glanced back at the paper I was reading earlier. He walked over and picked it up.
"What is this?"
"Something I wrote when I was depressed. I don't even remember it." I told him. He continued reading it, probably remembering me when I was at my worst. "Hey Shika?" He looked up from the paper and looked at me deeply. "Can you help me unpack?"
"Sure." He put the paper on my brand new desk and reached for a box. Before he could open it I swatted it away. "What was that for?" He asked me.
"Don't touch that box." I said, my cheeks slightly pink. "It's private." Private as in underwear. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.
"You shouldn't be so embarrassed about it. I mean we are moving in together. I'm eventually going to be seeing your underwear and might actually take them off." He said smoothly and slyly. I glared at him.
"Not until after we're married." I told him. I was going to remain a virgin till after marriage and he knew that. He nodded and put his hand in his pocket, searching for something.
"Well in that case," he pulled out a black little box and opened it, "will you marry me?" He asked as he got down on one knee. I looked at him like he was crazy.
"We're only in college. We're so young." I told him. He shrugged and stayed like that.
"We're in our last year of college and you're twenty-one-"
"And you're twenty." I interrupted him.
"Also we are moving in together. Besides," he took the ring out of the box and put it on my left ring finger, "we don't have to get married a.s.a.p. We could wait for years, I just want you to have it. Also this will prove that you're mine and no one else's." He said as he protectively wrapped his arms around my waist.
"I love you too much to say no." I sighed and laid my head on his chest.
"I love you too Temari." He said, kissing the top of my head. "You know what?" He said suddenly after a long silence.
"What?"
He took a while to answer. "I never did take you to the hospital." He said confusingly.
"For what?"
"To diagnose you with bipolar disease." I thumped him on the chest and gave him my best glare.
"Jerk." I wrapped my arms around him again. "You're a jerk."
"And you're troublesome." I rolled my eyes and hugged him tighter. He was the anchor that held me to this life. He was the thing that got me through high school and my troubles. He is the reason I'm where I am today.
"Thank you Shika."
~Fin~
