A/N: Soooooooo, instead of using the lyrics individually like I did for last time, I sort of made it a prequel to Chapter 4. :) Our dear Tony needs a reason to die, doesn't he?

NOTE: Thank you to my 2 anonymous reviewers! :D Just wanted to let you know that I appreciated you shooting me a review. Very much made my day. Anyways, enjoy!


"It's only half past the point of oblivion,
the hourglass on the table,
the walk before the run,
the breath before the kiss,
and the fear before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?"

Glitter in the Air by P!nk


Letters

Gibbs,

I know that you've probably reading this with the Director, or the team and Ducky looking over your shoulder, but never fear! There is nothing in here. I've left the real letter in your house, behind the picture of the team at the Fourth of July NCIS picnic.

- Tony


Boss,

Hopefully you're alone now. Because honestly, I don't think you want whatever woman you're on now knowing that some guy named "Tony" who calls you "Boss" is leaving you notes. She might think you're in the Mafia or something.

They're going to say I killed myself. And they're right; in all the ways that matter, I did. But I swear never pulled the damn trigger.

About three weeks ago, a Petty Officer named Michael Franklin approached me. His stepdaughter had been murdered, but he'd been arrested several times for harassing the police, trying to get the case reopened. I agreed to look into it in my free time. I honestly never thought that it'd turn into anything. What I found was that the stepdaughter was involved – deeply involved – with a cover-up involving the Director of a Federal Agency (you'll figure it out, I'm sure). She'd been having an affair with him and had discovered that he was selling secrets to a discreet terrorist group. She was killed for that knowledge.

I decided to try and find proof of this beyond the circumstantial, so that I could make it an official investigation. I knew that we couldn't be able to open a case against this Director unless it was already solved.

I followed the evidence to a middle man named Jake Carlson. He wanted out, and agreed to help me get the Director. I did this for a reason. I knew he didn't want out, whatever he said. If he did he'd be killed, too. I knew this because I've seen of it happen before.

I did it anyway.

I did it so that when the Director kills me, there would be evidence against him. He's killed nearly twenty-three people, Gibbs, and he's too good to be caught through paper trails and circumstantial evidence. I need to get physical evidence, and the only way to do that is to either attack him myself or wait to be attacked. I can't ask anyone to do this for me. I don't want to die, and who knows? Maybe I won't. But the chance that I might is enough to forestall asking someone else to take my place. I can't ask anyone to die for me.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm expecting him any minute, and I know he'll find me wherever I am; he's been tailing me for hours now. I can't afford to be dead in your house or Ziva's apartment or Abby's or McGee's. They'll point the finger at you guys. So do me a favor and tell Ziva I love her, always have and always will, and tell McGee that he can have my job. Kid won't take it unless I give it to him.

I went in to change my will today. I'm leaving everything to you. Hopefully you can figure out what to do with small amount of things I have. I left my car to my Ziva. Do me a favor and make sure she doesn't scratch it. I'm giving McGee my TV along with my entire home sound system. Abby can have my DVD's, if she wants. Make sure she takes the Magnum set, though. I'd hate to think of it with anyone else but her.

One last thing I need you to do for me; take care of them. Take care of them and take care of each other. I'm not there to watch your sixes anymore and that scares me. Abby will be sad for a while, but will be back to her perky self in no time, I'm sure. Ziva will miss me, I hope, but she's been through worse. Make sure McGee doesn't bury himself into a hole. He does that whenever he gets upset. He's the Senior Field Agent now, make sure he doesn't forget it.

And one more thing? Take care of yourself, Boss. I know I'm just another name on a list of people you've lost, but we all knew it would be me to go out in the line of duty. Well, I was hoping for an explosion or something exciting, but, now that I think about it, I'd rather not die at all.

I love you guys. Never forget that.

- Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo


Tony,

Abby found trace evidence to collaborate the evidence you left me. We got him, Tony. The team didn't sleep until we got him. Neither did I. I had the pleasure of arresting the bastard myself.

I ruined it. I lost my mask.

I've never cried in front of someone before. Not even once. But when I was cuffing him, I cried. Just one tear, mind you. But I cried more when Ducky finally let us down to see you. We were all crying then. It feels like Kate, but worse.

You shouldn't have done it, Tony.

I would have done it for you. I would have lived through it, too. I'm strong enough to handle him. I've got ten pounds on him and I'm a better shot than he'll ever be. You didn't have to sacrifice yourself for this. The world needed you. We needed you. I needed you.

I know you don't believe in God, Tony. I used to, but I'm not sure. I haven't been sure about this in a long time. But now I think that He must be there. Someone has to watch over you till I get there. I'm not sure if I deserve it, but I hope that I'll see you when I get there. And before you even ask, hell yes when. There is no if. I'll see you again. I promise you.

We love you too, kid.

- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs


The eerie silence of the chilly and empty fog morning surrounded the proceedings. There was no effort made to hide the crying and the sounds of sadness. Hunched over figures slowly walked away from the hole. All except for one.

The lone man stood there and watched as the casket was lowered down into the earth. He took one had out of its pocked and stretched out his arm.

The wrinkled and worn letter fluttered as it floated down into the hole before settling on the casket, the words it held disappearing as dirt slowly filtered down, burying it – and him – forever.


A/N: Sad, sad. I have the next two chapters done, so I may post a little earlier and quicker than I have been. We'll see. :) My life is going to be super-hetic-crazy-crap. -_- I may have to move my horse to a different facility this month, so life may get a little . . . yucky. And I'm trying out for my school's Fall Play. Wish me luck!