Here is the humor one-shot! I hope that you all like it, it get's funnier near the end. Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed and favored!
Tell me if you liked this humor fic, or if you like the fluff better. Or do you guys think I should do a different genre entirely? Anyway ideas are welcomed!
6. Jealous
This was ridiculous. No, actually it was ridiculous and pathetic. Maybe spending all this time with Hatter had finally made her slightly crazy.
Alice sighed, a habit lately, and used her hand to comb through her hair. This really was ridiculous, at least it was for Alice. Usually, Hatter would be the one who was over protective and jealous, but this time it was her. Alice!
"Hatter, can you come here for a minute. I need your help." She said, trying to get his attention. She didn't really need his help, but the fact that he was ignoring her annoyed Alice to no end.
"Later, love, I'm kind of busy right now." Came his muffled reply.
Of course he was busy. He was always busy when it came to that thing. He could never seem to leave the thing alone. He would constantly need it, whenever and wherever. And whenever he spotted it with someone else, he just craved it even more.
He was so obsessed with that disgusting thing, that he was starting to spend more time with it rather than Alice, his girlfriend.
"I've really hit rock bottom, haven't I?" She asked herself out loud.
"Well, considering that you're talking to yourself, I would have to say yes love."
She jumped when she heard the voice behind her. She swiveled her chair around to find Hatter staring at her, clearly enjoying the flushed look on her face. Now he decides to go and see her.
Alice cleared her throat and looked away from the grinning Hatter, "I thought you said you were busy."
He kissed her cheek and laughed, "I am, I just came to get some tea of course."
"Of course." She replied in a sarcastic tone.
Alice turned her back to him, trying to focus on the paper work before her. Trying being the keyword because her thoughts were more focused on the man behind her. Once Hatter had his cup of tea he gave Alice a quick peck on the cheek.
"Calm down, Alice. It's just a little paper work, nothing like being chased down by a squad of suits." He left, walking back toward the other room.
"This is all of your necessary paper work, Hatter!" she paused a minute before adding, "And at least I could take on the suits!" He didn't respond, but she heard his laugh echo from the other room.
Jack had visited the two earlier, bearing a suit case which held all the necessary documents, certificates and what not that was needed for Hatter to become a person in her world. Who knew that a person's existence could solely be based on a stack of paper? And although Hatter had already checked and resolved all of the papers, Alice felt that she needed to verify them as well.
And to do that she would need to complete focus, which was something she didn't have at the moment.
She was still thinking about that thing with Hatter. If Alice didn't know any better than she would have thought he loved it more than tea. The way he constantly asked for it, weather it was morning, noon, or night. It was border lining insane. What was really horrible though, was the fact that she had been the one to introduce him to it.
Alice placed the pile of papers down on the table before getting up. She needed a break, because clearly she was over working herself if she thought Hatter was the insane one at this moment. As she went toward the other room, she silently, so that Hatter wouldn't be able to hear her, said to herself 'I just need a break.'
Before she could relax though, Alice froze once she saw Hatter on the couch. How could she have forgotten that he was having it right now? First she was insane, and now she's forgetful. And what was to blame? That vile, disgusting, horrendous, gros-
"Alice, why are you glaring at my pizza?"
Alice was pulled away from her thoughts since she needed to focus on reality once again. She rolled her eyes at him, pretending to be annoyed with him.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She said as she sat on the couch with him. Although something in her head seemed to scream 'LIAR'. The answer seemed to have perturbed Hatter as well, because he hadn't taken his eyes off of her. Alice tried to ignore both as she focused on the television.
Hatter seemed lost in thought until a smile broke out on his face. "I understand what's going on now!"
Alice hoped not, because if he did he would only taunt her, saying how she was now the possessive one. "And what's going on, Hatter?"
She turned to him, seeing him look smug and content at the same time. He gave her a little smirk before saying, "You want some pizza."
Someone out there seemed to hate Alice and wanted to torture her by making her life insane. That could be the only reason why her life was this way. It was the reason she had lost her father, traveled to a different world, had a prince as her (ex)boyfriend, and why she was jealous of pizza.
Alice closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "No, Hatter, I really don't want pizza."
Hatter's eyes widened a bit, "How can you, or rather anyone, not want pizza? It's so good Alice!"
"It's not good for you though. It's greasy, extremely cheese, burnt and soggy at the same time. Pizza is like a heart-attack waiting to happen." Alice turned back to him, only to find that while she was talking Hatter was eating the rest of his pizza.
He quickly swallowed the piece in his mouth and used a napkin to wipe his face, "Well, I for one believe that risking a heart-attack or the possibility of getting fat is worth eating pizza."
Alice grabbed the napkin from him, and used it to wipe a spot he had missed. She almost laughed when she saw him go cross-eyed, trying to see if there was more sauce on his face.
"Because your life is equivalent to a pizza slice." Alice said sarcastically once she finished wiping the sauce off his face.
He looked thoughtful for a moment, "No," he said thoughtfully, "not a pizza slice, multiple pizza slices!"
He was looked at her hopefully, with a big grin. She still did not look amused.
"That was a funny joke, Alice. And besides, I think I can handle pizza by myself, so stop looking so serious love."
Alice raised an eyebrow at him, but it quickly turned into a devious smile. A smile Hatter knew was dangerous.
"You're right." Those words scared him even more.
"I'm right? Me, Hattter?" He asked slowly.
"Yep. Pizza is good, but do you know what's better?" Alice asked.
He would probably regret asking but he had to know, "What?"
"The guy who delivers it." And the regret was starting now.
"What! He's a geeky, stringy little kid, who probably lives with his mom!" Hatter said, fumbling.
Alice couldn't help but feel that everything was better and back to normal since Hatter was now the jealous one. It was a bit sad to know thought, that they were both extremely jealous people but at least that meant they cared about each other.
"I think we've both hit rock bottom, now." Alice said as she started laughing. Hatter stared at her, giving her a crazy look before laughing too.
"I think I'm a bad influence on you, Alice." And then he leaned down and kissed her.
Who said jealousy was bitter? Sometimes, it was cheesy.
