'Psssst, Quaxo!" I whispered hoarsely from behind the TSE1.
He just sat there in a lotus position, eyes closed, probably trying to block me out. He squeezed his eyes tighter.
"Misto!" I hissed again.
Mistoffelees open one eye. "What's my name?" he taunted.
I sighed. That kid could be so hot-headed sometimes. And that's coming from the Rum Tum Tugger.
"Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!"
The tuxedo tom grinned and sprang up into the air, landing gracefully on the hood of the car.
"What can I do you for, Tugger ol' pal?" His glossy black coat gave an additional sparkle to his equally dark eyes.
"I need to hide from Bomba."
"Ah, yes, I heard about that." He smiled and jumped to the ground. "You sly Pollicle, going after her sister, of all queens!"
"It was an accident!" I fumed. "Just help me hide!"
"Hm. Well, I can show you some good hiding spots, do a camouflage spell, make you invisible-"
"Yeah yeah- wait, what was that about being invisible?"
"I was kidding, Tugger-"
"Please?"
"No!"
I grabbed Misto by the shoulders and began shaking him. "You gotta help me here! Bomba's out for blood! MY blood!"
"Okay, I got that part already. . ." Mistoffelees trailed off as he looked at something behind me.
"What?" I turned around, expecting to see Bomba and make a break for it. Instead, it was my little sister leaning on the far fence wall and playing with her collar.
I dropped Misto as a smirk swept across my face. He had a crush on Truff! I could use this to my advantage. . .
"You know, the Christmas Eve Ball is coming up. . ."
"Yeah?" he breathed, his eyes completely glazed.
"I bet I can, ah, hook you up with a date." I waved to Truff above my head where Misto couldn't see. "Hey, kitten!" I signed. She noticed, and started smiling and waving in her own bubbly fashion.
"You see? She's happy to see you!"
"R-really?"
"C'mon, Quax, be a tom! She'll be yours for the big night if you just help me out."
Misto blushed as he quickly thought it over. "Alright, I'll give it my best shot."
"This is amazing! You can't see me, right?"
"No, Tugger, for the millionth time, you are invisible!"
"Just checking, jeeze!" I crept up behind him and flicked his ear, careful to get out of the way before another lightning bolt singed my tail.
"Get serious here! It'll all go to waste if she hears you!" He blew on his paw. "So, about that date-"
"Misto? Who are you talking to?"
We both turned around and saw Demeter.
"I was just, uh, thinking out loud, Demi."
"Mm-hmm. Well, I was just wondering if you'd seen Tugger."
I tried not to laugh too loud.
"Um, no. Not recently."
No one could call Mistoffelees a liar.
"If you see him, tell him that Bomba's mad as Hell. She's on the hunt, so I'd stay out of her way."
"Will do. Thanks, Demeter."
I couldn't believe I was actually talking to a Peke.
Had I really stooped to this level of antagonism?
Yes.
Did I really want to maul Rum?
Hell yes.
Would there be any heartache involved while doing so?
No. Only sheer joy.
"Alright, you stupid Peke, let's go find a chew toy."
I had a large Peke on a leash. He was supposed to be ferocious. He was supposed to be bloodthirsty. Instead, I had a fat, slobbering, lazy Bulldog who wouldn't budge. He lay on his back, snoring and drooling.
"I said, come on, you stupid dog!" I pulled hard on his leash to wake him up.
"Well!" He huffed. "For such a pretty queen you can be quite a pain in the rump! My name is not 'stupid Peke' or 'stupid dog'. It's Coriander. And as I told you before, I am a vegan. I'm only doing this because I'd like to see this chap you despise, the Rum Tum Tugger, is it?"
I sighed. "Yes. And I didn't say you had to eat him, Saggy-Ass, just shake him up a little. Maybe some blood, a few broken bones, you get the idea." I held Tugger's belt out so Coriander could sniff it. "Here, get his scent."
He covered that sucker with dog snot as his wet nose ran over it. "Alright, I think I've got the bloke's scent." He started trotting off toward the heart of the Junkyard. "Righty-oh, lass, let's get a move on!"
I couldn't believe I'd forgotten my belt at home. This meant that, even though no one could see me, I was wandering around half-naked. I shuddered at the thought of the invisibility wearing off, exposing my stark body. I went back to my hiding spot behind the car. Better safe than sorry.
"Whoof! Whoof! By Jove, I think I've got it!"
What the-
Then I saw her running behind a Peke. Even from here, I could see the fire in her eyes. Thank you, Misto . . .
"Well, where is he?" Bomba snapped.
"I swear, love, he's here somewhere. . ." Crap. She had a dog on my tail. And it was so close to becoming literal, because he got closer and closer. "I can smell it, as strong as ever. He's here somewhere. . ."
Bomba stood there for a moment, thinking. "Hmm. I bet this was done by Mistoffelees." She picked up a clump of snow and molded it into a snowball. "I think he told me once about an invisibility spell. If I just do this. . ." she aimed straight for my head.
Crap.
Sklomp! The slushball made solid contact with my right eye. "Yeowch!" I yowled. The impact threw me back a couple of feet.
"Aha!" Bomba lunged for my face, clawing and scratching on the way down.
I rolled onto my back, barely missing being graced by her claws. Stupidly enough, rolling around only exposed me even more. I started to run, but she grabbed my legs and dragged me back. Sitting on my chest, she purred, "Did you miss me?" with the most wicked smile on her face.
"Bomba," I gasped, "we both know it was an accident!"
"Oh, I know that, Rum. What I'm concerned about is why the heck you think you can 'make a mistake' and then brush it off like nothing happened in the first place!" She delt me another hefty blow, this time to my other eye. I winced in pain. "This isn't like when you were flirting with the kittens, or when you made out with Exotica, or even when you ditched me on our first date!" She stood up and kicked me in the stomach, knocking the remainder of my breath out of me. "We're through, Tugger!" She screamed. "And I mean it this time!" She stormed off, throwing my belt behind her.
I didn't know if the tears welling in my eyes were from my bruised eyes and possibly cracked ribs, or from my first official breakup. All I knew was that this was the most and the worst pain I had ever been in.
