Okay, so there was camp, and then coming back and unpacking, and working, and a couple of friends over...so anyway, finally I had time to finish this. Sorry ya'll! I also apologize if the next chapter takes a bit of time, too. I need to research England a little more if I can, and if I don't have the time I'll have to do a lot more generalizing, but that should be okay seeing as the story there will be about the characters, not about England, so...anyway, I apologize ahead of time for anything I may get wrong. Again, focusing on characters here, so...

All right, again, sorry the waiting, but this story is, of course, harder to write. Half of the Scoobies' reactions and experiences in this situation are coming not only from trying to keep them in character and how I think they would react, but I'm also pulling a lot from personal experiences. Don't ask me why I still want to write this when I actually have similar personal experiences, because I don't know. Maybe it's therapy. Without the exorbitant fees.

Okay, shutting up now. Ya'll aren't here to read me babbling. :P So I hope you like this chapter, and please do review so I know ya'll are still out there! It helps so much when you do. Thank you!

(NOTE: All information in mention of Diana Dormer is taken from the Buffyverse novel Go Ask Malice by Robert Jospeh Levy.)

Chapter 5

January 2000

"You're absolutely serious."

"Do you think I'd make something like this up?"

Ethan had made himself as comfortable as one could be on one of the wooden benches out at the edge of the cemetery, and Buffy paced nearby. She'd explained everything she knew, which unfortunately wasn't much beyond the fact that the timeline was screwed, and it was her fault.

"Hmm...no, I don't suppose you would." He smirked. "Quite a predicament, isn't it?"

She spun on him. "Quite a predicament? Quite a predicament? Giles is dead and that's all you have to say?"

"Well it wasn't my fault."

"Shut up. I don't need that from you; I know I screwed up, okay? I know it badly enough that I'm admitting it front of you and if you knew me any better you'd know that's saying something."

Ethan shrugged, nodded a bit. "I surmised that, actually."

Buffy's fists clenched at her sides. "Then could we get past the ridicule and get to the part where we do something?"

His eyebrows went up. "I never said I agreed to help."

She swallowed. "Ethan, Giles was your friend. Maybe that hasn't been true in a long time, but you don't want him dead. I know that much. If anything you'd rather him be around just so you can cause trouble, drive him crazy—whatever the hell you do, serving Chaos."

"Exactly. I serve Chaos. A muddled timeline is just the sort of thing I quite enjoy. I would have done it myself if I could have."

"You would have killed Giles?"

That gave him pause. "Well now, I—"

"I didn't think so."

"Now wait just a minute."

"No. I don't have time to wait. I have to fix this, but I have no idea where to start."

Ethan thought for a moment. "So...you're going to let your mother die, then?"

Buffy froze in place. "What?"

"That's what you'll be doing, if you do this."

"No. N-No, I'm just fixing the timeline. The way it is now is wrong."

"What's so wrong about it? Instead of one stuffy adult gone, it's a different one now. How much does that matter, really?"

Damnit, why did she tell him all of it? "It...it matters. Whatever did this was evil. What if there's a reason it chose Giles? What if something happens in the future because he's not there and he was supposed to be? Or-or it could be lying. Mom might still..." What if it was lying? What if Joyce died anyway?

"Ah. So an evil time-traveling demon did this, and we have to stop it. Is that it?" he scoffed.

"No! I don't know. God you are so obnoxious; I can't believe Giles put up with you as long as he did."

"That's right; lash out at me because you can't come up with an idea that isn't ridiculous."

Buffy paced away from him, rubbing at her temples because now she had a headache coming on. "Fixing it is the right thing to do," she said quietly. But despite what Joyce had said, and what she knew to be true...she just wasn't sure. She wanted to be, but she wasn't.

"That, of course, is another reason I'm not inclined to be helpful."

Buffy wanted to argue further, but she was blinking back tears now. She didn't want Ethan to see that. "Fine," she ground out angrily. Then she stalked away.


May 1999

Oz stayed with Willow all night, just as he'd promised. In the morning they picked up Xander and went back to Giles's place, because it seemed the only thing to do. Xander didn't need any explanation when Willow called him to let him know they were on their way to get him. She told him that they were and he was on the curb waiting when they pulled up.

The drive was a silent one. That was why none of them expected what they found in the courtyard of the apartment complex when they arrived.

Buffy and Giles were outside, training...as if nothing were wrong.

Willow's mouth opened a little in surprise, and she saw the looks of confusion on the boys' faces. All three of them just watched for a few moments, but Watcher and Slayer never noticed them.

Finally Xander cleared his throat. "Hey guys. What's up?"

Buffy paused mid-step and twisted in the direction of the voice, then relaxed when she saw it was only her friends. "Training. Why?" The tacked-on question was almost a challenge, and if it was it wasn't one any of them were going to stand up to. Willow was the only one who came close.

"W-well, I mean..." She tried to glance at Giles without anyone noticing, just to make sure he looked all right, but she was sure they all saw her looking. "Nothing. I mean, training is good. Really good. It makes sure you're all up to snuff and safe and all, and everything..."

"Don't strain yourself, Will."

"Shut up, Xander," she said under her breath. She knew he was only trying to distract himself from what they were all feeling, but it was still annoying.

Buffy nodded and smiled some, giving Willow an understanding look across the courtyard. "Yeah." She glanced back at Giles, who was coming up beside her now. He didn't look bad, just a little sweaty as he usually was after any decent amount of training with his Slayer, but Willow thought maybe he was a little pale, too.

"Are we done for today?" Buffy asked.

And Giles didn't act any differently than they had seen him act dozens of times, drawing himself up a bit in what was always a comical but ultimately fruitless effort to appear not-quite-macho. "I could go another round."

Buffy laughed once. "No, we're done; the guys are here, anyway. We don't want to bore them." It could have been any day in the library, except this wasn't the library. That, and Willow caught the crestfallen look on Giles's face that was only there for a split second—the one that told her he realized as much as she did that Buffy was finding an excuse to stop, because she was worried about him. He probably didn't want to be reminded of the reality here any more than the rest of them.

"So," Xander cut in. "We were just uh..."

"Bored," Oz offered.

"Yeah. Bored. We were bored, because it's summer and our high school careers are over, and we needed something to do. So we came here." He motioned to Buffy. "Looks like we weren't the first to have that idea."

Giles picked up a towel from the back of one of the chairs that were around the tables out here, and pulled his glasses off and dabbed at his face and neck. "I doubt you would be much less bored here, but you're all more than welcome to stay, of course."

Then they all stared at each other, silent for much longer than made Willow comfortable. They weren't speaking, but their thoughts were clear—maybe none of them had any idea what they were going to do, but they weren't going anywhere.

Not today, and probably not for a while.


Giles was the one who had to suggest that they walk into town. It was only a few blocks, but he had the feeling that none of them would have brought the idea to the table on their own—not now that they knew. They would have been too concerned that he might not be able to handle it, and he hoped there was time to put a halt to that mindset for a while, at least, before it became true, because it wasn't yet. He felt fine now, for the most part. Maybe for the most part were the key words, but still...

They ended up at the Expresso Pump, where the girls bought frozen mochas and Oz and Xander went briefly across the street for snow cones. Xander called them a 'more manly' snack than the girls' treat of choice, but it was the two boys who looked more comically like children as the five of them sat around one of the tables at the coffee shop. The girls were holding back giggles, Rupert noticed, and Xander, of course, was giving them his don't-burst-my-bubble glare. Oz sat silently beside Willow with his snow cone, taking whatever would come like a true man.

"You don't want anything?" Buffy asked him.

He didn't, but after no sleep maybe coffee would be a could idea. He could always go back home and sleep, but he didn't want to. He wanted to be here. So he got up and came back with coffee—the straight stuff, guaranteed to keep him awake until it was a relatively normal hour to go to bed. It wasn't any better for one's health than it had ever been, but he didn't really have to worry about that anymore, did he?

Giles didn't know he'd been making a face as he sat down again until he realized they were all looking at him.

"I'm all right," he assured them. "I do have some news though, since Buffy has approved the idea. There will be details to straighten out, but you might as well know." He noticed how the other three who didn't know what he was going to say stiffened a little at the mention of more news, and he resisted the urge to grimace visibly again.

"What kind of news?" Willow asked.

"Nothing to be alarmed about. I'll be going back to England for a couple of weeks or so in the near future—as soon as it can be arranged, really. I'm going to ask all of you if you would like to come with me. As I told Buffy, I plan to take care of the expenses. You need only come."

"Wow," Willow said. "That would be great..."

"Field trip, huh?" Xander observed. "I'm in. That is so much cooler than driving across my own boring country by myself."

Rupert chuckled. "Yes, well, first we must decide how to explain this to your parents. Buffy's mother has already agreed on her behalf, but the rest of you..."

They all sat in stumped silence on that one for a moment.

"Oh! Uhm..." Willow spoke up first. "In a rare moment of vague interest a few weeks ago Mom asked if I was going on any kind of senior trip or anything, and I told her I wasn't because...well, I wasn't. I could tell my parents I changed my mind. We could call it a senior trip. That could work."

Oz nodded. "Yeah. I should be able to swing the senior trip line. That shouldn't be a problem."

Xander only shrugged. "I can use that too, but I probably wouldn't need it," he said, disgust creeping into the edges of his voice. Giles frowned, uncomfortable and upset as he always was when mention came up of the boy's uncaring parents. He wasn't aloof to Willow's mention of her parents' general absence, either.

The children debated the ups and downs of the story for a few moments more, but he didn't hear them. It was only one of many things, but the fact that he wouldn't be here for Willow and Xander in the future, to care when their parents didn't...

For a moment he couldn't breathe.

"Giles?" Buffy's voice finally cut into his thoughts.

He glanced at her, and set his coffee on the table. "What?"

"What do you think? Senior trip sound good?"

He blinked once, letting his brain catch up, and then nodded. "Yes, of course. That sounds fine, if you're all agreed." He pushed out from the table and stood. "Excuse me."

He made his way to the bathroom, not daring to look back for fear they would see something he didn't want them to see. There was no one there so he stopped inside the door as it closed and rested against the wall for a moment. Sobs rose in his throat but he forced them down. He didn't go back to the table until he was sure he could show a straight face.

None of them said anything when he sat back down, and he couldn't tell just what they were thinking.

"So...if we're doing this, where are we going to stay?" Willow asked, concerned. "Wouldn't a hotel for all of us for that long be kind of crazy expensive?"

"I have a flat in Bath," he told them. "We can stay there. And, please realize that there will be times when I'm not with you. There are old friends I'll need to see. I won't leave you alone for too long, but—"

"Don't worry about it," Buffy said quickly. "We're all eighteen, Giles. I think we can take care of ourselves in a foreign country where people speak our language." Oz, who was nineteen, raised a hand slightly. "Okay, we're all eighteen and over. Whatever."

"I know that. I didn't mean it that way, of course."

"Well either way, I think this is gonna be great," Xander nodded confidently. "I mean hey, there are girls in England, right?" Giles skewered him with a look. "What?"

They walked back to his apartment, discussing the trip. Rupert was glad he'd brought it up now; it seemed to have put them in higher spirits. Willow, Xander, and Oz were already planning how to broach the subject with their parents when they got home, though Xander was doing most of the talking there. Buffy, quiet by the time they made it back, was the first to sit down at one of the tables outside, and the others followed suit. Giles did too. He didn't particularly feel like going inside either.

The conversation was as light as it could be, and slowly getting easier. After all, they'd done this before, hadn't they? Behaved normally in the face of disaster? They'd gotten back to okay after Angel lost his soul, after Jenny was killed, after Buffy ran from Sunnydale...

They were more than adept at it. He wondered if that was a good thing.

Rupert found himself lost in thought again, and when he came out of it he realized that Willow had wondered off. Xander and Oz were discussing something again, as seriously as those two could, and he quietly asked Buffy where the other girl had gone.

"She went inside to use the bathroom, I think, but now that I think about it she should have been out by now..." Buffy started to stand, but Giles put a hand on her arm to stop her.

"Let me."

She raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

He nodded and she backed down, sinking into her chair again. She glanced worriedly at the apartment door, but stayed where she was and let him go in alone.

He didn't have to look far to find Willow. She was curled on the couch, sobbing, and he quickly crouched on the floor in front of the girl and reached out to her. "Willow...?"

It took a moment or two for her to notice him, but when she glanced up enough through the tears to see that it was him there she tried immediately to put a stop to the crying. "G-G-Giles. Oh g...god, I'm sorry. I didn't-didn't m-mean to do this he-ere again. I'm so sorry. Sorry. I...I-I..."

"Good lord, don't apologize."

"Why n-not?" She paused a moment or two, breathing heavily until she calmed down enough to speak clearly, and while she did he moved up to sit beside her. Then her head dropped against the back of the couch and she rested that way, drained. "I'm sorry. I wasn't gonna do that. I don't want to...I don't know. I don't even know why I did do it. It's just that...that I think I can't cry anymore, ever, and then it starts all over again. I don't even know how many times last night..." She swallowed. "Oz had to stay with me the whole time. He just sat there."

Giles smiled. "I'm glad that you have him."

"Me too..." Then she finally focused on him again. "But, but but why am I telling you all of this? I don't need to tell you this stuff. I-I'm just making things worse again, aren't I? God..." She started to get up but he held her back gently.

"Willow, please. It's all right. I want you to be able to talk to me." He winced. "Especially now, I suppose..."

She sobbed a bit and looked away. She sniffed for a moment, and dried her face. "S-so...England."

"Yes," he nodded. "I thought you in particular might enjoy that. Of course, in the past another reason for bringing Buffy, at least, would have been to visit the Council, but I doubt any of us would be welcome there now."

"Yeah...not so much, probably," Willow said quietly. "I'm still kind of curious though; do you think we could just drive by or something?"

"We'll see."

She nodded and fell silent, looking thoughtful. "England. I could have gone to college in England, you know."

"Yes, I remember your telling me you'd been accepted at Oxford," he smiled. It faded a little, but not completely. "I apologize if I didn't tell you then how proud I was."

Willow smiled. "I don't remember, exactly, but I think you mentioned something on the order of proudness. There was definitely a proud vibe. And hey, I know now." She paused. "Oxford was where you went, right? Would...would it have made you happier if I'd gone there?"

He shook his head. "It would have been quite a novelty, but I'm proud of you for making the decision to stay here, to help Buffy. And...and I'm that you'll be here, and not away at university when the new school year begins." Now he was the one looking away, and it was a moment before he could say what he wanted to say next. "I'm glad that you'll be here for her...when..." When I can't.

He heard her swallow back a small sob, but she didn't cry anymore. Instead she hugged his arm for a long moment, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Right," she whispered finally.

Giles nodded a bit, and tried to smile as he looked down at her. "Well then...shall we go back outside with the others?"

Willow nodded too, and let go of him as she sat up. "Yeah. We should do that."

They went, and she seemed just as eager to get out of the apartment as he was. Maybe she and the others had already realized, too, that there would be more than enough time spent inside...later...

He shut the thought out. That would be then.

This was now.


The Scoobies stayed put most of the day. They called out for pizza when they grew hungry, though it couldn't quite be classified either lunch or dinner when they had it. It was too late for the first and too early for the second. The day hadn't had any direction, really, but for all of them to be together...though none of them, of course, were willing to really voice why they needed to do it now.

When an awkward silence began, someone jumped in with something. They all discovered that they had much more talk about than they had ever thought, and more to learn about each other than they had ever thought they wanted to know. Buffy was skeptical at first, and not sure why things went that way...but in the end it was kind of fun. She now knew a lot more about Willow and Xander's childhood shenanigans, and though Oz hadn't contributed nearly as much as the two of them and Buffy herself, he had probably talked more in the last couple of hours or so than in the entire time they had all known him.

"What about you, G-man?" Xander questioned eventually. "As Buffy oh-so-eloquently pointed out earlier, we're all at least eighteen now. I think we could handle some of the less-PG details of your sordid past."

"That does not in any way mean that you need know them," Giles answered tersely.

"Well we've been the ones talking most of the time so far," Willow pointed out.

"And I've enjoyed it. Don't worry about me."

"But it's your turn. It doesn't have to be anything creepy; just tell us something we don't know."

Oz nodded gravely. "I've already related the age 9 backyard fire incident story. You have to give us something."

"Like what?" he asked, puzzled.

Buffy brightened with an idea. "First kiss! When was yours?"

"What? Honestly, this is not a gossip session..."

"Isn't it? Come on, Giles, fess up. Everyone here knows way too much about everyone else's personal life except yours."

"I would rather like to keep it that way," he protested.

Willow grinned a little. "If you're gonna be part of the group you're not allowed."

"Exactly," Buffy nodded. "Now spill." For one thing it was always fun to pick on Giles, and for another...maybe she wanted to know more about the man she'd relied on for the last three years. Maybe she wanted to ask questions before she couldn't anymore.

Giles let out a breath. "I'm afraid it isn't a very remarkable story..."

Xander sat forward eagerly. "And that, my friends, is when it always gets good."

Giles glared at him, and Buffy had to suppress a giggle. "God, Xander, be good or he won't tell us anything."

"I never said I was going to in the first place."

"But-but that sounded like a lead in," Willow pleaded.

They all looked at him expectantly until he caved. He rolled his eyes a bit, but he continued. "I was fourteen. At that young age my parents wanted me focused on my studies, not fraternizing with the opposite sex. I was forced to uhm, sneak out, as you would put it, if I wanted to see anyone."

"Ah ha! So Giles was a bad boy even before he became a rebellious youth," Xander grinned.

"I was not! In general I was a very obedient child...to a point. I merely had reason to...bend the rules, at times. Not that it was right."

"You were normal," Buffy assessed.

He blinked a bit. "Well, I suppose, actually."

"Right. Moving on then."

"What happened?" Willow asked eagerly. "Who was the girl?"

"Her name was Sarah, and I don't remember what her last name was before she was married. Anyhow, I doubt my parents would have approved even if they had known—she was sixteen and nearly two years older than I at the time, and we were young enough that such difference was discouraged, particularly when the female was the older. She was a Watcher in training as well, and she didn't like it any more than I did. I remember that she didn't live far away; we met in a small stand of trees at the edge of a field between our houses."

"Awww," Willow crooned. "Did you kiss her in the moonlight under the trees?"

"After entirely too much planning, yes," Giles admitted. "Surprisingly it was as perfect as a fourteen-year-old boy could have hoped. At the time the two of us were determined to run away together when we were old enough to make it on our own—escape the life neither of us wanted."

"Well what happened to her then?" Buffy asked.

Her Watcher smiled. "She turned seventeen, and found interest in a university student several years her senior."

"But they got married and he turned into a drunk and they had three horrible kids and got a divorce, right?" Xander predicted.

"They were married, but no, as far I'd heard before I left England they're still quite happy. Their oldest is about the same age as all of you. Despite the fact that she has never had care care of an active Slayer, she is still a highly respected Watcher to this day."

"Okay, that's just not fair..."

Buffy smiled. "How about the Faith's-first-Watcher-was-Giles's-almost-mommy story?"

Xander blinked. "Say what?" Willow and Oz, too, looked on with interest, and Giles looked at her quickly.

"How did you know about that, Buffy?"

"Faith didn't like talking about her Watcher much at all because of what happened to her and all, which I completely understand, but in our friendlier days we did talk a little on patrol sometimes. That was one of the few things she ever told me."

Giles sighed. "I only met Diana Dormer a handful of times, seeing as there was quite obviously a bit of rivalry between her and my mother, but anyhow...I was quite upset to learn that she'd been killed."

Buffy looked back sympathetically. "I know. You looked it."

"Wait so...what?" Willow asked.

"Faith's Watcher in Boston," Giles filled in quietly. "Diana Dormer. She was an old friend of my father's...quite more than a friend, really. They were engaged at one time."

"Oh...that's so sad."

"I'm still getting over the 'weird' part," Xander put in.

Oz nodded. "Agreed. I liked the first kiss story though."

Willow snuggled into Oz's side. "Mine wasn't all extremely romantic or anything, but it was still perfect for me. Oz was there, so he knows."

"Same story here," Oz answered.

She sat up. "What do you mean?" He just looked at her. "But...I mean I wouldn't have minded, but I thought for sure with the band, and the groupies, and...all, that, you know, you would've at least, you know, kissed somebody or something..." Oz only smiled a little and shook his head, and Willow all but melted. "Oh! Wow, I...oh..."

Buffy couldn't help smiling, and she saw that Giles was in the same predicament. It was apparent already that there would be more conversations like this in the coming months. She was sure, now, that in fact there would be many.

She wished, suddenly, that they could go on forever like this. Then she was blinking back tears, because she knew they couldn't. But she forced them back and away, because it wasn't the time for them. For now they were all here, Giles was still here, and...she didn't want to think beyond now for a while.


When Oz drove everyone home late that afternoon, Willow convinced him not to stay with her and to go home and get the sleep he hadn't really gotten the night before. She herself got off at Buffy's house, and the two girls left Oz and Xander in the van wondering what to do now. Oz certainly didn't seem like he wanted to sleep yet, and Xander knew he didn't. Neither did he want to be alone like he had been last night, sitting in his room in a depressed stupor until he finally dropped off.

The girls seemed to be feeling the not-wanting-to-be-alone thing too, seeing as they were staying at Buffy's place together tonight.

So Xander climbed up into the front passenger's seat of the van that Willow had occupied before, and looked over at Oz. "So. Video games, my place?"

He didn't expect a positive on that one, not from Oz, but he might as well try.

Oz thought, of course, as he always did, and then nodded slowly.

"Sure."


January 2000

Buffy's mind reeled as she walked away, wondering what she was supposed to do. She couldn't do this alone, she realized. She would have to tell someone...maybe Willow? And...no, wait. No Tara yet, in this timeline. It was too early. Anyway, Will was probably her best chance of finding help puzzling this out. She didn't want to burden her with this, but...

Well with any luck none of them would remember this anyway, once the timeline was set right. After all, she only remembered the original one now because the demon or whatever had done this wanted her to. It wanted to torment her.

It was doing a good job.

She was thinking hard enough that she didn't realize Ethan had followed her until he pulled up at her side, out of breath.

"Good god, slow down!" he puffed. "I asked you to wait a moment."

Buffy stopped short and glared at him, and he must not have been prepared for the sudden halt because he nearly toppled over trying to stop with her. As it was she had to shoot a hand out to steady him, but she quickly let go in disgust. "And I would listen to you why? What do you want now?"

He crossed his arms even as he was still trying to catch his breath and straighten up. "I said I wasn't inclined to be helpful, not that I'd decided I wouldn't be."

"What, you want to help?"

He grimaced. "Not particularly, but I have nothing else to do at the moment. Be glad most of my plan for this little visit to Sunnyhell revolved much around Ripper; seeing as he isn't here, I am now incredibly bored." He scratched at the back of head uncomfortably. "I suppose the opportunity to bug the bloody hell out of him later is worth a temporary alliance..."

Now Buffy crossed her arms, and stared him down. "You're serious?"

"As serious as you are, I suppose."

"Fine," she said again. "So what do we do? I assume we'd need to find out exactly what it is that did this, first."

"Actually I was thinking more along the lines of making sure you're right first."

"What are you talking about?"

"There's still every chance that you're simply crazy."

"Thanks a lot for that. Would you like to be pummeled now?"

She pulled a fist back, and Ethan held up both hands and took a step away. "I'm only saying that it's in our best interest if we're sure we're not a on a wild goose chase. There is a way to make sure the situation is what you think it is."

Buffy let the fist drop, slowly, but she still glared suspiciously. "How?"

Ethan relaxed a little, and shrugged. "Well, you see, if Rupert Giles was not supposed to die then his soul would have nowhere, specifically, to go. He would be left wondering the Ghost Roads, lost—at least until whenever it is he was supposed to die, anyhow."

Her breath caught when she thought of her Watcher stranded, homeless in the afterlife...and then she realized where Ethan was going with this. "You...you think we can talk to him?" she asked anxiously.

"Theoretically. The extremely tricky part, of course, would be tracking him down. The word 'lost' was invented for a reason."

She swallowed hard, and her thoughts raced until she realized she might have a solution. "It's okay...I think I know someone who can help."