Disclaimer: Welcome, I own all these characters. Hah I wish. I don't own any of them.
NOTES: From Finn's P-O-V this time. (:
Finn Hudson was fucked. Wait, no he wasn't. If only. Nope, Finn's virginity was very much intact, unfortunately. About as intact as Rachel Berry's, and if things kept moving in this direction, she might even lose it before him. How embarrassing. Yeah, sure, Rachel was his friend and he had a teensy crush on some of the things that she said – like that stuff about girls wanting sex too. That was all pretty hot, and she did have a cute butt. A really cute butt. It was all plump and round and sometimes, her skirt would fly up enough with a gust of wind that he could catch a glimpse of it for a sub-atomic second. And okay, he really shouldn't be thinking about this in the middle of Spanish class. Mr. Schue had this habit of calling on him when he was daydreaming and the last thing he needed to do was shout out something about ejaculation as an answer, which was what was going to happen if he kept thinking about Rachel Berry's ass. Being in Glee Club was already doing a number on his social status, he didn't need the gay rumors starting up again. All that was going to do was give Kurt false hope, and Finn really didn't swing that way. At all.
However, lately, any and all thoughts of Rachel Berry were becoming bittersweet. Finn still didn't understand how any of this had happened. One minute, he had been the It boy of WMHS. Cheerleader girlfriend, quarterback of the football team, popular. Finn Hudson had had it all, and then Glee club had happened. And while he didn't regret being a part of the team, not at all, it hadn't made his life easy. Between the gay rumors, being slushied in the face, and then the recent shit with the baby, this was all too much. Sure, he had loyal friends around to help him out now thanks to that very Glee club, but seeing most of them was a reminder of the fact that Quinn Fabray sure had pulled a number on him. First telling him that his jizzing problem had caused her to get pregnant when they hadn't even had sex, and then lying to him about it for months, letting him grow attached to the little girl inside her when she had known that it was Puck's all along. And then, as if that wasn't bad enough in and of itself, in what could be the weirdest twist of fate – ever, it was like Quinn and Rachel had become best friends. They were always hanging out and Rachel had even insisted that Quinn move in with her after his mother had thrown Quinn out. It was for the best, because he could barely be around her without crying. But now, not only did Finn feel betrayed by his ex-BFF and his ex-girlfriend, but also by the girl who just made him a little too happy, even with just a simple kiss. That time that Kurt had set her up with the makeover, he almost came his in his pants right there. Even if that wasn't how he liked to see Rachel – he seriously preferred the kiddy-yet-grandma-all-at-once sweaters and short skirts she liked to wear. But that wasn't the point. The point was that he had been starting to wonder if he might not have a future with Rachel, but so long as he risked seeing Quinn at her house, there was no way in Hell that that was happening. No way in Hell.
Mostly, Finn felt really alone. Even when he was around other people, he felt like he was drifting. The only person he really had to talk to anymore was Mr. Schue and even then, he didn't want to burden him with his high school problems when Mr. Schue was just as wrapped up in Quinn's baby drama as he was. After all, Terri was going to have taken Quinn's baby to claim it as her own. He was sure that seeing himself, Quinn, or Puck was a stern reminder of that right now, so aside from Glee Club, he had been trying to rely less on the man who had become somewhat of a father-figure in his life. Finn would have gone to see Ms. Pillsbury, but given that he had caught her and Mr. Schue making out in her office when he was on his way to the bathroom, he wasn't sure how much he could really trust that whole confidentiality thing that was going down. Sighing to himself, Finn continued his doodles on his notebook. At one point, his doodles had contained nothing but Quinn's name, then it had shifted to occasionally including Rachel Berry, and then it had moved to Drizzle, back to Quinn, and now, it was random question marks on the page. Spanish class allowed him to let his thoughts drift occasionally since Mr. Schue liked him too much to call him out when he wasn't really paying attention. Plus, he could give Finn a break since he knew how much he was going through. Finn was pretty sure that it was normal for his thoughts to be everywhere but in class for a few days.
Except that it'd been nearly two weeks since sectionals and he still felt like he was in that room, hearing it for the first time. Every time he walked by his locker, he saw Rachel looking off, and her telling him that she had to tell him something. He could still hear her explaining the test she'd devised about Tay-Sachs disease to throw Quinn off her game and how she'd begged Puck to take her for the tests. After that, everything had stopped making sense. He hated Rachel for telling him, he hated Quinn and Puck for keeping it a secret. Finn didn't know he felt and he didn't know how he felt right then. As much as looking at Quinn made his stomach turn, he knew that she'd been lost and scared and that she hadn't wanted to let go of him. Mostly, he felt pity for her, but he was also incredibly upset that she had lied to him. He had sang to a fucking sonogram! He had gotten attached to it. He had loved that baby. He had come up with a badass name for it. She had led him on and used him and obviously had no remorse about it. She wasn't sorry for lying, she was sorry that she got caught. When she had said his name in the green room at sectionals, Finn could hear the pain that was there, and it rang loudly in his dreams every night. It was throwing him off. He didn't know what to do and he felt like locking himself in a room and screaming until his lungs gave out.
If only he could find such a room, he'd be good to go.
Sighing heavily, Finn couldn't be any happier about the fact that the bell rang, signalling the end of Spanish class. Throwing on his iPod, Finn tried to avoid talking to people as much as possible, and he found that his iPod usually pushed people away for him, since they assumed he couldn't hear them. And most of the time, it was true. He would turn his music up full blast and try to drown out the thoughts that refused to make themselves disappear. It never worked. No matter where he was, what he was doing, Finn's thoughts were on how big of an idiot he was, and how much of a fucking loser he had become. How could he have not seen the signs? It wasn't like there weren't enough. That time he had walked in on Quinn and Puck "baking" aka nearly making out, should have been enough of a warning for him that something was wrong – that there was something more going on between the two of them than they were letting on. But no. He had had to be trusting. Stupid, trusting Finn. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He had put his faith in Quinn, and she had betrayed him. Rachel? Same thing. What was wrong with all the girls in this fucking school? Maybe Kurt was right. Maybe they were too much trouble (but that didn't mean that he was switching teams – it just meant that he was considering becoming a priest).
Bareling his way out of the halls, Finn shoved past a few people. He was trying to be inconspicuous, but someone as huge as him (who still had growing pains because he was showing no signs of slowing down) couldn't really go incognito all that well. He was sure that he heard Rachel call his name out from behind him somewhere, but he couldn't look at her without revealing just how much hurt she had caused him. How, if she truly liked him, could she do this to him? How could she shelter Quinn like this? It was almost like she was defending her or something, and she had definitely picked sides. Finn didn't understand it, but that was probably what hurt the most in all of this. That the one person he'd been sure would have his back had turned against him. Then again, he shouldn't be surprised. Her affections had switched so easily that all it had taken was Puck singing one Jewish song to her to get her to go all gaga for him and practically have sex with him right in front of everyone. The thought that she should remain loyal to him now was kind of preposterous when he thought about it. Fucking girls. Fucking school. Fucking Ohio. If nothing else, this was all the more reason for him to bust the hell out of this state as soon as possible. He needed a scholarship to some school, and he really didn't care if the money came because of football or Glee at this point. Opening up his locker, Finn shoved his Spanish books in and grabbed his books for math. Santana Lopez occupied the locker next to his and she was there too, but she seemed to give him his space. Not that he was surprised. She was about the one girl that he could count on to act in a consistent manner. Santana only had one mode and that was bitchy, or at least that was what he thought anyways. Because as he watched her walk off towards their math class, he could have sworn that she did something that Santana never did, not in regards to him anyways: she smiled.
So much for Santana being predictable.
