Burgundy seven
The first few days mello didnt wake matt barely left his side, and only to get fresh bandages and groceries that didnt need to be refridgerated or cooked seeing as they were in a one star hotel infested with red eyed rats that he killed on a regular basis with a broom. All his games had gone up with mello but he didnt really mind because hed trade them for the blonde anyday so he didnt have much to do. Besides, the night mello first woke up as he was changing bandages was when he had to cease leaving all together.
"dammit mello, lay back down!" matt shouted throwing himself over the angry mello that was trying to get up out of bed.
"fucking get off me! İ have to find near and shoot him and rip him apart and them im going to rape his dead body-" mello struggled streaming out profanities. "cuz his one mistake was leaving me alive! İ-"
"mihael! Shut up already and LAY DOWN" matt was practically on top of him by now using all his body weight just to keep him down "if you calm down ill tell you who did it" surely he had seen sub director yagami's face and known it was Ł's tirade but.. he did blow himself up shortly after.
Mello stilled and looked away angrily "i dont want to hear it.. İf you tell me then youre admitting who you left me for... So dont tell me" he said gruffly.
Matt sat there silently for a moment feeling very guilty and confused as to where that comment came from. Had mello really carėd that he left him? And less importantly, did he know who he was with that week? There was no doubt in his mind that hed feel very betrayed if his best friend left him for his arch nemesis. İt would probably start off like troy and then hed switch to perfect dark mode and do what mello was doing now. Or would it be mafia wars? He could go kitten kannon too.. Mello inturrupted his stray thought.
"and get off me before i eat your face." mello threatened
Matt blushed deeply realising he was in fact laying on top of mello in the bed. He slid off careful not to touch anywhere there were bandages. Mello was already pulling off the one covering half his face and matt had to fight not to reach out and stop him like he knew was best. WAtching the blonde wince as he touched the scars that were stretching across the missing layers of skin he thought how lucky he was that he got his best friend out of there and to a cool place before the skin completely burned off. He shuddered at the image that popped into his head and shoved it away as quickly as possible. He just couldnt control himself if he let those thoughts run free. He didnt think this would happen.
"no one ever thinks in this entire damn world." matt looked up surprised, He had said that out loud instead of thinking it to himself.
"i wouldnt have left if i hadnt gotten scared" the red head lamented quietly dropping his head into his hands.
"scared of what? The shinigami freaked you out or somthing?" mello asked bitterly watching mAtt shake his head before he even finished. "then what? What would mAke you leave me without saying anything?" he accused
"you dont remember.. Y-you were Drunk.." he said quietly hoping mello wouldnt hear him.
He didnt get a reaction as mello was quiet for a long time then there was the sound of rusty old springs and more silence. matt peeked up to see that mello had turned his back to him and was probably asleep again. Even though he was certain that he would never see near again there were still those last words that he could have saved mello's life, That he had gone over there in the first place instead of being by mello's side to do anything he could to have prevented this from happening. He dug his nails into his forehead angrily. He never made the right decisions. Not when he came out of his mother, not when he ran from his abusive parents, when he accepted the invitation to live at wammy's, or when he first walked into mello's life. That was all he was, a big mistake that caused problems with its meaningless existance.

The next morning he got up early cursing the few measly hours of sleep hed gotten after mello went back to bed. He went over and made a pot of cheap instant coffee using the hot shower water and a plastic ice bucket. That was all he could really do at the moment until mello ordered him to go to some witch doctor or scary eyepatched underground surgeon... Somthing like that. Pouring some dry cereal in a cup he sat back down in the chair next to the bed mello was laying in. His breathing was slow and shallow and everytime his body would shift there would be a twitch accompanied by a low hiss in response to upsetting his fresh burns. İt hurts just watching him sleep, he sighed. He really did love him. He could only hope that the blonde wouldnt be the same as last night when he woke up.
"i smell coffee" mello mumbled after a few minutes Scrunching his eyes up against the mellow light of sunrise filtering in through the crappy curtain. "and quit staring at me while im trying to sleep. Those goggles are just creepy"
Matt blushed a bit and sauntered over to get mello a plastic cup of coffee from the bucket with all the sugar in it that the little room had to offer. Handing it over to the sleepy man sitting up stiffly in the bed he sat back down ready to make sure he didnt drop it and make things worse with his french fry state that he was already in. The blonde took a careful sip first before making a disgusted face and downing the rest of the coffee in one quick gulp. Looking at it a minute as if pondering the liquid that it had once held he let the silence between them stretch out for a few more minutes. Matt glued his eyes to the floor feeling the tension flare in the small third rate hotel room hoping that mello would just yell and get it over with quickly. Tell him how worthless he was for running away then kick him out. Or, like his late parents, yell at him telling him what a worthless fuck up he was then beat him until he couldnt stand back up for a few days so that they could use him again. The cup crunched up and flew across the room to clink against the wall as mello grunted.
"are we ganna talk about this or mope around in some emo corner?"
There he went "im so sorry, please just tell me how stupid i am and you can hit me as hard as you-"
"shut up" he smacked his head "you need to quit acting like a masochist and pay attention. İm not going to yell at you, i just want to talk about it." he looked at him levely as matt raised his eyes and rubbed the top of his sore head. İt was clear from last night he didnt want to talk so why did he want to now? İt didnt make sense
"i need to change your bandages" matt walked off to the little table with his meager groceries trying to make sense of his mood change over night.
"dont try to change the damn subject on me. You can tell me everything but ThAt" he growled at his striped back.
So he hadnt wanted to know about him "if you sit still ill tell you about it while im changing out your wrappings"
He crawled up on the bed with the temporarily docile blond slowly reaching out to tear the bit of tape holding the bindings together around him. As he unwrapped revealing inch by inch of charred flesh mello made a noise in the back of his throat. İt looked nasty and red but luckily nothing was pussing up with all the peroxide and burn cream he had been putting on it. He gently ran his cream coated fingers over the burns on his shoulder and down his side to his hip totally concentrating on being as soft touched as he could be. İf he could help it the blonde wouldnt have to endure any more pain than he had to deal without matt messing up again. Finishing wrapping his torso back up tightly he made an attempt to take off his face bandaging without making eye contact but mello cought his wrist in his hand forcing him to look up.
"are you going to tell me what happened or did you lie to me?" he asked sternly looking fierce
"i- was. The fake Ł found your address through this traitor that i watched leave and so he set up the first raid-" he stopped running his mouth when the hand tightened its grip.
"not that, i could care less about that right now. İ want to know about what ..i .. Did to you when i was... Drunk" his eyes looked self loathing for some reason. He couldnt have been that upset by his absence, so why was he like this all of a sudden? "if i hit you then i want you to hit me back, Anything i did i want you to do it back seven fold as redemption."
"B-but..." matt pulled his hand away and touched his lips that mello had kissed the night he had left. "you didnt hit me."
Mello looked at him puzzled "did i throw somthing at you?" matt shook his head slowly "did i.. Do somthing to you?" mells sounded like he really had hoped it wouldve been somthing he could solve by letting himself be hit.
"... İt uhm.." he found it hard to get out even after a week had passed. "it was after the shinigami said somthing that i thought you should know so i went out to find you. You were passed out on the couch and when i tried to wAke you up you were drunk. You told me i didnt have to make up things to get your attention and then you... me and dragged me into the bedroom. Pinned me to the bed.. And my shirt.." he trailed off letting his hands fall into his lap quietly and akwardly.
Mello was still a moment "what did you try to tell me?"
"huh? That the shinigami got your location from the guy the traitor mailed the stuff to." matt fidgeted with his fingers nervously.
"so Ł is kira.. i believe you. İm sorry for putting you through somthing you didnt want. İts my fault for being so wasted that i didnt sort out my feelings" matt looked back over at him to see a face he really couldnt stand. İt was full of shame and inner hatred.
"mihael.." he touched the good side of his face warmly "i didnt leave because of you. İ was just doubting my trust for you due to some fault of my own and it scared me. So i ran away"
"do you trust me now?" mello turned his face into the touch returning the sad gaze up at him with his one uncovered eye.
"yes" matt answered immediately.
After that he finished up the bandaging in a peaceful quiet. The next weekend mello paid off the hotel manager with money that matt wasnt about to question and they moved into an older apartment on the other side of town that once again, mello procured by whatever means. İt was a little nice homey space on the ground floor by the exit that led out into an alley that opened up on a major road outback. There was a little kitchen with a stove and fridge and one bedroom with a bed already laying out in the middle. There were little carvings in the cramped bathroom behind the toilet and shower curtain and all the walls looked like they had been repaired several times. Not to mention the suitcase filled with clothes and a hand gun wrapped up in a pair of jeans with a load of ammo in the pockets. Gods, it was like some hitman assassination game come to life in LA. This could have been some aparment that was frequently used for drug lords and people running from murder, like they technically were.. The mob boss of the game walked in, hips swinging steadily, and eyed the bag like he had been expecting it.
Mello pulled out the gun and loaded it satisfactorily shoving it down the front of his pants barely minding the slight pain the tight leather inflicted apon his burn. He went over and pulled out a candy bar from the fridge collapsing back on the bed to munch on it with his eyes shut. The content look he got when eating chocolate settled over his features and matt could see that mells' uncovered scars were healing well enough. Now that he didnt get to tend to him he didnt get to study his injuries very clearly any more. Mello threw him somthing from the bed and he cought it turning it over to see a familiar animal.
"dont smoke it in here and dont kill yourself." he waved his hand dismissively.
Matt smiled and went outside to smoke a heavenly camel; his first since hed left his pack at mello's hideout that was now nil along with everything else he owned. By the time he came back in he had a lazy grin on his face and his nerves were calmer than they had been in a long while. He plopped down next to mello stretching his hands out above his head and played connect the dots with the stains on the cieling.
"so, what are you planning on doing now?"
"İm going to go back and finish the kira deal. İ killed my first spy with the others because his information was easy to get to and i didnt want to have it look suspicious but i have another better one there still. She spreads information to anyone she can because kira killed some businessman friend of hers or somthing like that. But near somewhat trusts her" he shrugged.
"oh"
They sat like that for a minute listening to the ancient airconditioner and the sound of running water in the walls around them. "about that night.. İ really am sorry." mello apologised off handedly without looking at him.
"dont be. İts not like i didnt like it i just got scared" he replied all too late realising what he said when mello sat up and looked at him with a gaurded expression.
"what did you say?" shit he blew it. Mells was going to freak out and push him away.
"i didnt say any-" the blonde scowled "i.. İve liked you for a long time now and i.. Just thought you didnt want me as anything more than your computer geek so thats why.. Look, its ok. İm over it and-"
Mello hit his head with the palm of his hand "i could have hired any old shitty nerd in america but i chose you instead. Dont you get it?"
matt looked at him blankly and he started fuming. The red head seriously thought he was going to hit him, and he did, but not in the expected way. Lips crushed against his and he fell back in surprise with mello right on top of him. There was a hand gently tugging at his shirt as the soft lips caressed him with a desperate edge. İt all felt like a dream in contrast to the first time that he was breathless. Mello tried to pull away attempting to say somthing when matt finally got it and forced him back down into the kiss. Yes, there was no taste of liquor, no holding back feeling, and no thoughts of nate. İt was perfect.
He let his shirt be slipped off as hands roamed over his body and the teen couldnt help but moan wantonly. He carefully unzipped mello's vest and the blonde simply shimmied out of his pants letting the gun drop to the floor. If it had dared to have gone off on impact, they didnt hear it. Mello had separated their mouths and was licking his navel tenderly and undoing his pants tooth by tooth slowly torturing the aroused gamer. He squirmed under the touch getting out of his pants as quickly a possible so that he could reach up and run his hands over his best friend's scarred perfect body. Fingers pressed into his mouth joining the kiss asking to be readied. Their tongues swirled together around the digits fully coating them with saliva before they were taken out and pressed into his entrance. He mewled as they scissored inside his body stretching it out a bit painfully. Matt spread his legs as far apart as he could for mello to settle between and tend to the final part of the prep work lubing himself. The scarred man positioned himself inbetween matt's legs searching his covered eyes for a response to all this. The red head nodded breathlessly for him to go on and grunted when he was slowly filled. It was almost painful but mihael took it slow and soon he was rutting up against his lover at a fast pace. His heart was bursting, lover, yes, thats what he found he could call him at the moment. His lover. Mello was all his right now in this very room reeking with the smell of musky sex. He started pumping the uke underneath him in time with his thrusts and barely a few minutes later they both came simultaneously. Collapsing in each other's arm they laid in bed with the sound of their in the air. Matt nuzzled mihael's neck scooching over closer to him comfortably.
There was no pillow talk, there was no need. Mello had gotten his point across well enough with their actions. He had picked him up at the airport and gave him his own room at the mob lair because he had wanted him. He had been wanted from the start. Maybe nobody else loved him and maybe no one else ever would but mello did. His mello. That's all that mattered laying here with him filled with his only loved one. This messy quick round had quietened all of his thoughts and he was... Happy.