Chapter 3

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Susan sat up and hugged him again, but before she could reply, Edmund's door was flung open and a pale, trembling Lucy stumbled into the room.

"Edmund! Susan! Please, you have to come downstairs! Peter is having a huge row with Mum!"

Through the now open door they could clearly hear the raised voices coming from the living room, and Edmund and Susan immediately sprang up from the bed, heading over to Lucy. Susan pulled her into a tight embrace, and Edmund, after running his hand gently through his little sister's hair, rushed out of the room and almost sprinted down the stairs.

Peter's words now reached his ears, even louder than before.

"You do not have a right to tell me anything! Who do you think you are? I am perfectly capable of arranging my own affairs, and I live my own life! I neither need nor want your pushy interference! I am sorry, but you are completely delusional if you think I would even consider it just because you – you – want me to! It is a waste of my time even talking to you, obtuse as you are! Don't you ever dare doing something like that again! I will not tell you twice, do you hear me? … Oh whatever! Continuing this conversation is beneath me!"

Edmund's mouth fell open and his eyes widened in absolute shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, Peter had never before talked to their mum like this. It was so contrary to everything Peter was – or at least to how Edmund had thought Peter was – that all of his thoughts ground to a complete standstill. It was just so inconceivable. What had gotten into Peter to speak like this? Edmund couldn't think of anything his mother might do that would warrant such a violent reaction. And on the heels of his shock came the anger. How dare he address their mum like that? He still didn't know what the argument had been about, but nothing gave him the right to insult her, after everything she had gone through and done for them! But before he could think of how to act now, Peter burst out of the living room, passing Edmund by without even glancing at him and left the house, banging the door loudly.

Edmund cautiously made his way into the room, being uncertain as to what he would find there, but determined to make sure that his mum was alright. He found her sitting on the sofa, a look of astonished disbelief on her face. It was heartbreaking to see her like this, she seemed smaller somehow and was quite obviously so desperately confused by the blow she had been dealt that she couldn't even move.

"Um… Mum?"

Her eyes snapped to his face, and she sat up straighter in an instant, trying to compose herself. Edmund realised that she wanted to present a strong front to him, and it made him feel a strange mixture of love and shame. In all their misery over losing Narnia and their longing to get back to their home he had too often forgotten or refused to see how hard all of this must've been for their mother as well. What had she felt, with her husband being in the field, not knowing if she would ever see him again, and then having to send her children away? She had had to hold the family together all by herself, had had to provide for them and try to keep them safe, and all without – or at least not much – immediate support. He had not been a very good son before they went to the country, and much to his disgrace not afterwards as well. And now she was about to shoulder the burden all alone again.

"Edmund. Is something wrong, darling?"

Edmund almost laughed out loud at that, even though it was not funny in the least, and his heart went out to her. She had to realise that he had just witnessed what was most likely the nastiest fallout in the history of their family, and still she attempted to portray a nonexistent calm and to be there for him.

"Mum, please! You don't have to… How are you? Is there anything I can do for you?"

Her face crumbled a bit, and she looked away quickly, but not before Edmund saw a tear run down her cheek. He was beside her in an instant, kneeling on the floor next to the sofa, and took one of her hands in both of his. He had never seen her cry, and this more than anything told him how badly she had been hurt.

"Oh Edmund! I am so sorry you had to hear that. I … I do not even know what happened. I only told Peter that I thought he was sitting in his room too much, that I was afraid he was isolating himself, and that I have therefore contacted our local rugby club and arranged for him to join them for their next training session. I thought it would be good for him to socialise more again and to get rid of all his pent up energy. I was sure he would like it, but… You heard him. I do not understand what is happening… All of you have changed so much, and sometimes I do not know what… I am sorry, dear. I should not be burdening you with this."

Edmund squeezed her hand tight and briefly leaned his head against her knee. He felt guilty that he had been so preoccupied with himself, his sisters and his problems with Peter that he hadn't noticed his mother's plight. And he promised himself that he would not make the same mistake again.

"You're not burdening me, Mum. And please don't be sorry! I'm the one who should apologise. I should've… I don't know. So much has happened, Mum, and I'm sorry I didn't help you more… or talked to you. I promise I'll try to explain, but… not now, Mum. I can't… just now. I'm sorry."

His mother freed her hand and lifted his head, kissing his forehead and then letting one of her hands linger on his hair.

"It is alright, darling. You are a great help to me. Just seeing the changes in you, even if I do not understand them, makes me happy. To have you all here now is enough consolation for me. Do not concern yourself too much, I will manage to deal with your brother."

She looked behind him, and Edmund turned to see Susan and Lucy standing in the doorway. He got up from the floor and caught Lucy as she flew into his arms, while Susan sat down beside their mother, linking their arms together and leaning against her side. Lucy was still quivering slightly, and Edmund recognised that she had to have witnessed the fight in its entirety, and that it had obviously shaken her badly.

"It's alright, Lu. It's over now."

Her hands fisted in his shirt, and she pressed her face into his chest so that she sounded very muffled when she spoke.

"He was so mean, Eddy! Whatever shall we do? He's not Peter anymore!"

Edmund caught Susan's eye briefly and nodded at her meaningfully. She seemed to understand him because she began talking softly to their mother who had already halfway risen to comfort her youngest daughter, but sat down again now. He then bent his head to speak into Lucy's ear.

"I know. We've talked about this before, and you know we can't do anything at the moment. I'll tell you later what Susan and I spoke about, we might've thought of another idea. But first we have to try and help Mum. Can you imagine what she must be feeling now? Please, Lu, don't be so sad. Remember what you've told me every time before we went into battle? That there's no problem so great that Aslan can't help us over it? We have to believe that this is still true here."

He felt it immediately when his words registered with her, for her shoulders straightened, and she then stepped away from him. And he could see the light returning to her eyes as she looked up at him, marvelling once again how clearly her faith was visible in her whole countenance. All it took to allay the doubts that occasionally troubled her as well as all of them was a small reminder of Aslan, and Edmund sometimes wished that he could be the same. He trusted Aslan, of course, but for him it was often a matter of telling himself again and again that he did, of deciding consciously to do it, while for Lucy it seemed to be instinctual, something that she simply felt. It was of no consequence now, however, he was just happy that the sadness was leaving her face.

"Thanks Eddy!"

His mother must've sensed the slightly relaxed atmosphere as well because she stood to join them now, laying a hand on Edmund's shoulder and motioning to Susan with the other, smiling at them when the older girl came over and put her arm around Lucy.

"I am so proud of all of you. I know the situation is very difficult at the moment, and you are handling it wonderfully."

Edmund ducked his head and blushed a bit, he was still not used to his mother praising him more frequently now and often felt that he did not deserve it, considering how beastly he had been to her before. He hoped that he would soon find the right time – and the courage – to apologise for everything he had done and to at least try and explain some of it.

But at present, he knew he had something else to do, so he took a deep breath and stepped out of the family circle.

"I think I'll go after Peter. See if he's calmed down. Talk to him."

His mother looked worried, but nodded, while Susan and Lucy exchanged anxious glances.

"Alright darling, but please take care. It is going to start raining soon."

Edmund tried to appear reassuring, was however not at all certain of his success. He knew that they knew that dealing with Peter would be nowhere near easy, but he believed that he had to do it, that it was his duty somehow.

So he left the living room, grabbed his jacket and was almost out of the door when a small hand on his arm stopped him. Turning back around, he encountered his little sister's eyes, regarding him solemnly.

"Eddy, please, please be careful. And I don't mean the weather. You didn't hear the beginning. Peter was so… so imbalanced. As if he was hanging on by a thread. And I fear he might snap. Please try to stay even-tempered, yes? I'm afraid he might… do something. I don't want you to get hurt!"

Edmund forced a smile for her. He had already had similar thoughts and knew that being calm would be the best course of action. But he also knew that this was virtually impossible, given his simmering emotions.

"I promise to try, Lu, but…"

He broke off, shaking his head and sighing loudly. There was no need to finish this sentence, Lucy knew what was hanging unspoken in the air just as well as he did.

"Wish me luck."

Lucy laughed tremulously and hugged him quickly.

"No, I wish you Aslan's blessings. That's bound to help."

Edmund inclined his head in agreement, then stepped out of the house and began moving down the street, glancing back once and waving at Lucy who was still standing in the doorway.

The dark, grey clouds overhead were looking more ominous with each passing minute, and Edmund had a feeling that he would be caught in more than one storm before long. He had an idea where Peter might have gone, but he didn't have any clue how to approach him. He dearly hoped that he would find the right things to say, that he would be able to reach his brother, but he was extremely doubtful at the same time. For one, Peter seemed to have been so far gone that he was very likely completely inaccessible to any reason. And for another, there was himself.

Intellectually, in his head, he knew that Lucy was absolutely right, that he had to be the picture of serenity if he wanted to retain even the slightest possibility of a favourable outcome. But his heart told a different story altogether. He remembered Peter's words clearly, and the more they echoed in his mind, the more these almost overwhelming feelings were coming to the surface. And despite Lucy's cautions, the anger came back full force. Together with his overly pronounced sensitivity regarding matters of respect, justice and honour, it did not make for a good combination.

Edmund didn't want this to turn ugly, and he would try everything in his power to prevent the situation from deteriorating, but Peter's treatment of their mother was simply unacceptable after everything she had done for them. He had to realise that she was only doing what she thought was best for them and wanted to help them! It simply couldn't go on like this!

TBC


I hope you liked it, I really wanted to show the family dynamic a bit. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. The next chapter will have the big confrontation, so it might take me a bit longer to upload it. I want to get it right.