A/N: So before you begin, I'd just like to say that this chapter goes from a tearjerker to happiness with everything imaginable in between. There are more adult situations in this chapter, so you're warned ahead of time again. :D Also, I do use numerous flashbacks, but I believe that I've used them in such a way that you can tell the timeline of this story. The flashbacks are shown with the italic text before it. I sincerely hope you enjoy the following two chapters. :D

A/N2: If you love Aurora/Severus stories, my friend DaughterOfAres has just started writing a story called "Oh My God, Severus" that you can find here on FanFictionDotNet. It does also include some James/Lily scenes, but focuses primarily on Aurora/Severus. So without further ado, enjoy. :D

Tears and Memories Part 1

Hours later, Severus numbly walked through the somber quarters. He didn't glance towards his children who sat on the couch staring at him. He just kept moving forward. It was the only thing he could do to keep from breaking down right there. Noticing Angel heading towards him, he held a hand out and shook his head violently at her. He couldn't. He just couldn't bear it.

"But, Daddy," the curly blond haired girl cried, reaching out for him again.

"DON'T," he roared. She recoiled from him instantly. Shaking his head, he lowered his voice. "Please, Angel, don't." His voice was ice as his insides shattered. He had to leave. He had to get away before…

Fierce as a category five hurricane, the emotional storm raged on underneath his barriers. Each step he took was heavier than the last. He had to get away. He had to get away from their accusing eyes. He had to get away from the looks of pity, fear, hidden anger, and sadness. He couldn't—no—he just couldn't take it, not again. Not after last time, not after—NO—gritting his teeth, he stalked towards his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. Somehow that distance made all the difference in his mind.

Walking, or trying to at least, towards the lavatory, Severus shed his filthy robes onto the floor. He made sure not to look at their bed as he did this. For he knew an invisible hand would squeeze his heart until it bled even more. He didn't want to feel anymore. He didn't want to feel the shattering of his heart a second time. It was painful enough the first time. He didn't have the strength to go through it again. He swallowed back the sobs that tore at his soul.

He angrily tore off his white undershirt, throwing it halfway across the room. A vase crashed to the floor a few seconds later. He yanked his pants down boxers included and kicked them as hard as he could away from him. Banishing his boots and socks, he stumbled into the lavatory, making sure to keep his eyes away from anything that reminded him of Aurora.

It was nearly unbearable, the pain, the loss, the heartache. Everything, ever fucking thing in the room reminded him of her. However, he trudged forward. He had to. He couldn't—not a—he… Shaking awfully, he staggered into the shower, which automatically caused the water to turn on. The hot jets of water barely registered for him, though.

Grabbing a washcloth, he immediately started to scrub his body. He had to rid himself of the filth…of the blood…of the pain…of the goddamn guilt. Why? That damn one-worded question screamed in his tortured mind. Why? Why did it always happen to him? Why did he always lose the women he loved? Why must he be the one to suffer the most? Why couldn't he just have a happy life? Why was he so cursed? Why had it been Aurora, not him, that was gone? Why?

Barely noticing that he was rubbing his skin raw, he scrubbed even harder. He had to get rid of the blood, her blood, but it wouldn't come off. Only more blood would appear, mixing with the water and running down the drain. Salty tears soon joined followed by loud heart wrenching sobs of grief that no one would hear thanks to the activated privacy wards.

A few moments later, his grief caused him to slide down the wall to the shower floor into a sitting position, grieving and sobbing uncontrollably. His barriers couldn't hold any of his emotions back anymore. No skilled Occlumens would be able to clear his mind tonight, not even the goddamn monster he formerly served and killer of his first love. His forehead rested against his drawn-up knees as the tears streamed out of him.

It hurt so badly. It was as if someone had repeatedly pierced his heart with a dull knife. The pain was seventy times worse than the Cruciatus, but he was just as helpless as one would be under it. They hadn't found Aurora, of course, but that didn't lessen the pain. He knew—they all knew—that there would be—no person could survive after losing the amount of blood left on the concrete slab and robes.

Loud laments poured out of him as he slammed the undersides of his fists repeatedly against the shower floor. The tiles quickly cracked and broke, causing the fractured pieces to dig into his skin and slice open his hands. However, that didn't stop him. He continued hitting the floor, just to get rid of that gnawing feeling of helplessness deeply seeded in his gut.

Hands suddenly seized him to lift him up off the shower floor. He didn't even bother to glance towards his intruders who now were dragging him away. He truthfully didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. He was dead inside, utterly and hopelessly lost.

"I'll contact Molly to see if she can take the kids for awhile," a voice to his left spoke. "You've got this, Moony?"

"Yes, go," the second voice answered quietly.

Silence then settled onto the room as someone gently helped him into his bed. He put up no resistance because it frankly didn't matter anyway. His life was over…again. Lying there with his head on his pillow and facing Aurora's side of the bed, his eyes glazed over. He could smell her all around him, making his heart clench painfully.

"We'll find her, Severus," the voice near him whispered. A hand soon rested on Severus's shoulder. "We won't stop until we find her."

While spoken with genuine compassion, those words only caused him more grief. The Order members had dug for hours through the building, only to find more blood and concrete. Using a standard spell to reveal whose blood it was, they had regrettably learned it belonged to Aurora and only her. The others of course attempted to lessen this blow by telling Snape that they hadn't found a body so he shouldn't give up. It was empty words on their part. He realized it. They had written Aurora off long before finding nothing. He could see it in their eyes as they dug through the rubble.

Severus wouldn't give up, though. He wasn't giving up even now twenty hours after realizing that his wife was gone. No amount of blood would deter him from finding her. No matter what the healers said otherwise, he knew that Aurora was alive. He just…he just had to find her.

Choking back more sobs, he closed his eyes. He knew sleep wouldn't come to him on this night or any other night for that matter. Grief was synonymous with insomnia after all. However, he felt the tingle of a sleeping charm instantly pass over him. He clenched his teeth and prepared for the onslaught of memories that were sure to come. Why?

~RWWL~

Nineteen years earlier…

Sixth-year Severus Snape stormed out of the Slytherin common room with a fierce sneer firmly on his face. He hated Christmas. Seeing all of the horrid brats cheerfully crying they had presents only managed to tick him off. He honestly didn't see why they were so gleeful. Likely, the brats' parents elected they'd rather have quiet Holidays, forcing the children to remain at Hogwarts for the Holidays instead of spending time with their families. Their parents were practically stating that they couldn't stand the horrid brats by not wishing them to come home. That was nothing to be cheerful about, but he assumed the little idiots didn't even think about that. After all, when presents were involved, no one cared what horrors their parents did unless they didn't get any gifts. He then snorted derisively. Sixteen years of not receiving a single present except Lily's pity ones had made him rather bitter where Christmas was concerned. He hated that horrid holiday. There was never any joy when it involved him. And now since he knew for a fact that he wouldn't receive even his pity one from Evans, well, that only made him more cross with the others.

"Severus?" a soft voice said behind him a few moments later.

"What do you want?" he snarled back. He had gone to the empty classroom in the dungeons to enjoy the solitude, not be annoyed by an annoying fifth-year who couldn't mind her own business.

"You rushed out before I could give this to you."

"Perhaps I wished to be alone, Sinistra. Did you consider that?" he snapped, finally glancing towards the young Slytherin. His eyes caught the small present in her hands before he scoffed. "Oh, lovely, you got me a pity present. How thoughtful," he sneered.

"I don't pity you," she defensively stated, crossing her arms. Her dark eyes flashed in anger as she glared back at him. "You know what? Fine, Severus, yes I do feel sorry for you. Now just take the damn present and be glad you got something." After tossing the small green tissue papered wrapped present to him, she whirled around and stormed back out of the room. The door slammed shut behind her, causing several nearby empty potions bottles to rattle.

"Melodramatic witch," he muttered. Carefully unwrapping his present, he sighed a moment later when he found the black velvet box underneath it. He quietly opened it and narrowed his eyes immediately on the black pendant on a thin silver chain staring back at him. The words 'In darkness, there is light' roughly translated from Latin were engraved into the silver surrounding the black gem.

As his fingers gently brushed against the smooth stone, some rare form of powerful magic seeped into his body. He could feel the pendant's enchantment surround his magical core before blending with it. It was an odd sensation to say the least. Why had she given this to him? What was its purpose? More importantly, what the hell was it doing to him?

His fingers recoiled from the amulet. A searing pain had caused him to cry out unexpectedly as his Dark Mark burned. However, his Mark hadn't felt as if the Dark Lord had summoned him. It was a different type of burn. Could this be some form of protection amulet to keep him from going completely dark?

Snapping the box shut again, he whirled around and briskly walked back towards the common room. The second he had stepped into the room, his eyes searched for the curly-haired fifth-year. He found her standing off by herself on the far side staring out a window.

"What is this?" he sneered, clutching the box in his hand.

"A Christmas present," she replied with a soft sigh, refusing to look at him.

"I know that, Sinistra," he snapped back. "I mean, is this a protection amulet?" When her head snapped towards him with a look of surprise, he realized at once that she hadn't known about its power. He then nearly yelped when her hand latched onto his wrist prior to her yanking him towards the dorm. Not really understanding why he wasn't snarling at her for doing such a thing, he found himself obediently following her down to the boys' dormitory. A few seconds later, he nearly squawked in outrage when she walked straight to his bed and sat down on it, pulling him down beside her.

"Why are you getting so upset over it?" she asked as if being in the boys' dormitory and sitting on his bed wasn't anything out of the ordinary. "I mean, yes, fine, Severus, I'll admit that it is a form of a protection amulet." She then ran a hand through her thick hair before sighing. "According to the shopkeeper I bought it from, it will portkey you anywhere you want. You first have to set it to your designated place before using it, however, but I thought it would come in handy considering."

"Considering what?" he growled.

"Oh, honestly, Severus," she huffed before shoving his left sleeve up to expose his Dark Mark. "Considering that you have that, I'd have thought you'd like to have something like this."

"Does it work?" he asked, ignoring her rash action. After all, she had known about his being a Death Eater for at least half the year, and there hadn't been any…ill effects from that yet. Had he been anyone else, he would have been salivating over this amulet then. The possibilities were endless with something like this in his hands. Never again would he lose points for sneaking out to a Death Eater meeting.

"Well, let's try it out then since you're convinced I'd buy you junk," she muttered under her breath. Huffing in annoyance, she gently pulled the necklace out of its case and handed it to him. Once it was around his neck, the young Slytherin girl softly recited an unfamiliar incantation, tapping her silver wand once against the black gem. "Are you ready?" As soon as he nodded, she said, "Home."

A familiar tugging behind his navel alerted to him that it had worked. A few seconds later, when the blurring finally stopped, he found himself falling hard into a snow bank with Aurora beside him. He glared at her instantly, feeling the wet fluffy snow soaking his robes. Had he not been so invested in his Death Eater duties, still pining after Lily, and had a normal childhood, he would have kissed Aurora right then.

Adorning her thick, curly dark hair were big snowflakes. Her eyes were alight with playfulness as she stared back at him. A coy smile then slowly flooded her face.

"You look ridiculous," she said laughing.

He didn't respond. Instead, he stood up and stalked back towards the castle, ignoring her attempts to call out to him. He didn't need anyone laughing at him, least of all a bratty fifth-year. Though, he'd admit that he did enjoy his present. The amulet softly hummed in sync with his heartbeat. He could feel its power coursing through his body.

"All right, Severus, all right, I apologize," she yelled after him.

Stopping just in front of the Grand Staircases, he lingered a bit so she could catch up to him. The clicking of boots against the stone floor alerted him to her progress. He sighed when he felt her presence beside him a few moments later. Glancing towards her, he patiently waited for her to speak.

"I didn't mean it when I said that. I was trying to be flirty with you."

He kept his tongue firmly in his cheek to prevent his saying that was obvious. He couldn't understand why she kept trying to throw herself at him. Granted, he had stuck up for her with the others and informed them that she was off-limits, but that didn't mean anything. He just horrifyingly could relate with the fierce bullying she experienced from the other Slytherins. Not really paying attention to her rambling anymore, he glanced up and caught the mistletoe above them. He really hated this castle sometimes. Sighing, he decided there was only one way to shut her up so he could continue about his day without the annoying witch. He leaned in and kissed her before stalking away, leaving a very shocked Aurora Sinistra under the mistletoe.

~RWWL~

Five years later…

Prior to the start of his second year of teaching, Severus found himself graced with the Headmaster's annoying presence. He sighed, but didn't glance up from his cauldron. He knew whatever Dumbledore had to say would be said in the next few moments.

"Ah, there you are, my boy," a cheerful Albus Dumbledore spoke. "By chance, you haven't spoken with our new Astronomy Mistress, have you?"

"I've been rather busy with Pomfrey's potions, Headmaster."

"Yes, I'm sure you have been. However, I would appreciate it if you met your reserve before the start of the new term."

"Is that an order, Headmaster?"

"Not unless you make me do so, Severus," he replied.

"As you wish, Headmaster," he responded, inclining his head. He then listlessly flicked his hand towards his potion to spell it into stasis before sighing. "I shall do so immediately then." He didn't even wait to be dismissed before heading out the door. He might have respected Dumbledore tremendously, but that didn't mean that he enjoyed the man's presence, though.

He of course hadn't met the witch yet because he had been in the Hospital Wing recovering from injuries inflicted upon him earlier in the week. Though, today the little dunderheads would arrive. He couldn't avoid it any longer. Not even stopping to knock, Snape threw open the door and stalked into the Astronomy professor's office. His eyes darted about the room to find his…colleague.

He found the witch bent over attempting to reach something behind her filing cabinet. Her outfit certainly didn't leave much to the imagination. In fact, if her skirt was hiked any higher, he'd be looking right at her knickers. Though, she did seem to have very attractive legs.

Opening his mouth to start his rant, he found himself instantly cut off by a loud scream followed by a white blouse hitting him in the face. The smell of fresh raspberries hit him like a Hippogriff as he inhaled her smell. Angrily, he plucked it off and threw it back at her before catching the green lacey bra. For the lack of anything better to say, he decided to trudge forward and rant what he was going to say.

"As the Reserve Head of House," he croaked, swallowing harshly. "It will be your job to…" His tongue felt horribly thick. "You shall…" Granted, he wasn't staring at her breasts anymore, but the image was seared into his memory. "You shall deal with the—Dammit, woman, put your damn shirt on!" Who the hell was this witch to think she could dress that way in a school full of hormonal boys?

Once he was absolutely sure that it was safe for him, he glanced back at her again. Luckily, she had actually managed to put the shirt back on. The witch looked horribly familiar to him, but he couldn't place a name to her face. Then again, it could be the badly applied glamour to her face that was slightly bothering him.

"As the Reserve Head of House, you shall deal with the overly emotional brats who can't get over their parents shipping them off here. I would also appreciate it if you were the one to speak to the young ladies about maintaining proper decorum at all times. Preferably not dressed like a common whore, however. Do you have any questions?"

"I shall attempt to dress more conservatively next time, Professor," the young witch replied, folding her arms across her chest. "Do you have any other useful suggestions that don't stem from you needing a good shag, or are those all of them?"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, honestly, Professor, I can see your happy wand from here. You are in need of a good—"

"I'm not quite sure where you're from, Miss, but—"

The door behind Severus then suddenly opened. A cheerful voice rang out behind them, "Oh, good, you've met each other." The twinkling blue eyes from the intruder then shifted between the two professors as he walked further into the room. "I don't suppose either of you would care for a lemon drop perchance?" asked the Headmaster.

"No thank you, sir," they both replied respectfully.

"Ah, I suppose you've already made your introductions then, Severus?" He then glanced towards the witch, not caring about the younger wizard's response. "Might I if I could reapply the glamour to your face, Miss Sinistra?" When she inclined her head, Dumbledore smiled back and passed his wand over her face.

Severus, however, stared at the witch. She had certainly grown up since he last saw her. Sighing, he shook his head. He had never heard that vulgarity from her before. When he noticed her visibly relax, he pursed his lips. She hadn't recognized him either.

~RWWL~

Six years later…

Sitting at his desk, he muttered to himself why on earth he took this teaching job. He had been teaching now for almost eight years, and it was the same old bullshit he put up the previous years. His students didn't care about Potions. The little dunderheads were more concerned with sticking their damn wands in their ears to feel the tickle of their magic than learn something useful. Scaring the crap of them was entertaining and all, but it sadly got boring.

Severus glanced over the ridiculous excuse of an essay and snorted a couple of times as he took a drink from his tea. The idiot thought Wormwood was worm excrement left on trees. In his familiar way of insulting his students by which he meant grading of course, he wrote, "Perhaps next time you will actually read the assignment instead of undressing Miss Tonks with your eyes, Mr. Weasley" with a slash of a big 'T' next to the comment.

Yet again, Charlie Weasley had managed to get a Troll. No doubt, he'd have the Gryffindor's annoying mother in his floo again tonight. He had just regained his hearing yesterday finally from his last meeting with the redhead.

The door to his office opening, however, made him sigh heavily. There was only one person other than Dumbledore who would burst into his office like that.

"Yes, Sinistra, what do you need?" he asked before glancing up. His brain immediately disconnected from the rest of his body at the sight in front of him. Holy hell, he thought, staring at the witch. Pricking himself with his quill, he gulped when he didn't wake up but bled instead. She was actually there…in front of him…wearing that.

Rather simple in its design, Aurora's dress didn't make it any less appealing to his senses. Practically sleeveless, the red mini dress was nothing more than a single piece of material wrapped snugly around her midsection. In fact, the very top of her dress looked like an attempt to put on an infant's jacket. Her bust practically overflowed, and if he squinted just right, he likely thought he would see a nipple peeking out. His eyes then trailed down towards her legs. If she bent over he'd see her knickers…or lack thereof judging by the absence of her panty line. He swallowed.

"Sorry, sorry, I know I said I'd pick it up last week, but then time got away from me again."

His dark eyes watched her approach his desk slowly, taking in every single curve on her slender body. The sound of her heels echoed around the room. Swallowing, he brushed invisible dust from his trousers to keep things down. He could smell the potent jasmine lingering around her, which made him nearly choke on his spit. Watching her dark curls bounce freely on her shoulders, he took in the rare grace. He couldn't look away. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't look away.

"Severus?"

A sudden snapping of fingers made his head jerk up. "What?"

"I asked if I could have the potion now." Her rich chocolate eyes soon narrowed on him suspiciously. "Severus, are you all right?"

"Yes, of course I am," he growled irritably. He was mostly angry with himself for reacting in such a juvenile way with her. He had been around gorgeous women before and hadn't had this issue. Shaking his head, he stood up and quickly walked out of his office. Why the hell was he thinking she was gorgeous? It wasn't as if he was interested in the witch that way anyway.

Snatching the deep blue potion from a shelf in his private store, he returned to his office moments later to find Aurora leaning against his desk, fingering her hair. He could see the anxiousness in her face as she stared down at the floor. He wasn't totally ignorant about what her unfounded worries might be. He just didn't feel like it was his job to calm her. However, the longer he stared at her the more he felt the urge to put her fears to rest. Huffing in annoyance, he finally cleared his throat and walked towards her. Being in Dumbledore's protection had made him a practically bleeding heart now.

"Quit running your fingers through your hair, Sinistra. You look fine," he grumbled, holding out the potion to her. He noticed her jump, but he said nothing as he brushed past her to return to his chair.

"So what do I owe you exactly?" she asked, flashing a somber smile.

A part of his mind that usually was quiet screamed its response in his head. He, however, waved her gratitude away, grabbing another dismal essay from the stack. He knew she'd soon leave him once she realized that he didn't want to hear it. When soft lips kissed his right cheek a moment later, he sat there stunned, inhaling the rich jasmine that surrounded her. The voice in his mind screamed its response even louder then. Clearing his throat, he tried to ignore his growing discomfort. It was rather difficult, though, seeing as how close she was to him.

"Thank you, Severus," she whispered near his ear, causing her breath to warm his cheek.

"Yes, yes, of course, now get the hell out of here, Sinistra. I do have things that I must do this evening that don't include being annoyed by witches." He ignored her eyes rolling before she moved away from him towards the door. Perhaps now he could get some work done. Grabbing his quill, he noticed the familiar bottle with bluish liquid in front of his research books on the edge of his desk.

He glanced up to shout after her that she had forgotten her potion. However, the words never left his mouth. His eyes had found the back of her dress, and Merlin did that make him squirm in his seat. Swallowing harshly to keep himself from choking to death, he allowed his dark eyes to trail down her exposed back, taking in the tremendous amount of naked skin before him. The back of her dress was a V-cutout that came to a point in her lower back. In fact, he was fairly certain that it came to that point just before her well-shaped butt for a reason.

Once she had closed the door behind her, he sat there in his chair, pondering possible ways to deal with his tense situation. Being a skilled Occlumens, he knew that Occlumency could only work for so long before one needed to lower one's barriers to regain the necessary strength. He unfortunately had been using his barriers non-stop for the past month. So Occlumency was regrettably out of the question. Releasing controlled breaths through his nose, he tried to control it by lowering his heart rate to slow the blood flow. It didn't work, though. It only made the situation worse since the jasmine flooded his nostrils. He then tried to distract himself by thinking about the ingredients he needed to order for the next term. Even that didn't ease his discomfort. While a cold shower would definitely ease his situation, it was bit too painful to move. These were the days when he hated being a man.

It was horribly embarrassing to preach control to others when he couldn't even control his own bodily functions. He felt as if he was a fifth-year all over again, only it wasn't Lily this time that had caused this stirring in him. No, it was that foolish witch Sinistra, who so was far from a Slytherin these days that she was a disgrace in his mind. She wasn't even attractive in the slightest in his opinion.

Warding his office door to make sure that he wouldn't have any interruptions, he sighed heavily and unbuttoned his pants. He felt incredibly disgusted with himself that it had come to this, but he knew he wouldn't be able to function properly otherwise. Doing what needed to be done with eyes closed, he sighed heavily once he came back down from his high and slumped back in his chair. Cleaning the mess away magically, he buttoned his trousers again and stood up. He needed to get out of his office for a bit to get away from that damn jasmine and seared in memories of the witch leaning against his desk.

Gathering the essays a moment later, he realized something was missing from his desk. His quill was in his hand. His long ebony wand was tucked away in his breast pocket. The books he sometimes read for research were still off to the side. His stomach then lurched when he realized what it was that was missing…from a certain corner of his desk.

It couldn't have been a house elf that popped in silently to grab it for the Astronomy professor because the horrid things have never been quiet to save their lives. And everyone knew that one cannot summon a potion magically because it would destabilize the potion or cause it to smash into a wall. Since he was certain that he hadn't imagined the bottle being left on his desk before, it left only one possible explanation.

Sneering, Severus glared at the closed door. He had never felt more embarrassed in his life. Not even the infamous James Potter incident where he removed Severus's trousers in front of the entire school was this embarrassing. She had walked in on a private moment and said nothing. Clenching his teeth, he allowed his temper to get the best of him. She had after all seen him pleasure himself because of what she had worn. He would make that witch regret the day she lived.

As if Hogwarts had sensed his fury as he stormed towards the door, he found himself stopped in mid-step by what seemed to be a kiss to his cheek in the exact same area that Sinistra had kissed earlier, only no one was in the room with him. His blood ran cold as a chill moved down his spine. He could feel the magic coursing through his veins from that one sensation, proving to him that his thought that it was her invisible was false. This was different, and he knew it. It was otherworldly.

"Fine, but I'm still speaking with her tomorrow," he grumbled, moving back to his desk.

A/N: I'll leave it to your imaginations if it was his pendant or if it was a certain ghost in his past. :D