Stroking her pink sweaty forehead and twirled her radiant golden ringlets in a delicate smooth way. This reminded me of when I was younger, smart pretty cute and desirably loveable. I was, likewise, oblivious to the deadly and traumatic lies, the secrets, the emotionally told stories, the untold secret rumours, my family, my feelings…..
Sunrise swiftly crept in bright warm colours suddenly emerging in the light morning sky. It seemed so peaceful, quiet, still almost perfect…But as though I had jinxed the wishful dream, loud creaking muffles slowly awoke around the entire of the large Monroe house… time to start a brand new fresh day!
Amused slightly, I gave a light airy laugh, I put Lily rose on the auburn rose golden armchair, placing my colourfully embroidered inherited apron onto her, as tiny beautiful and gentle and laughably silent as I'd ever seen her. As I crept into the kitchen, soundless and anxious, I realised I was still wearing the clothers of the day before: plain old jeans and a dark long sleeved purple dribble filled with mushy bright food, watery dribbles and long thin creases-how great was it being a child-mom?
I couldn't help but feel a sad little disappointed sensation in the pit of my stomach- I wanted to be a Mom when I was older, more mature, more ready, more capable than I am now- a silly little innocent eighteen year old filled with big bold dreams and wild ideas. But beggars can't be choosers. Sigh. And I couldn't resist the feeling of grief, anger jealousy; what did I do for this to all happen when every other my age was partying, exploring and hanging with friends, the though that my dreams had slowly, suddenly and helplessly died, withered like old summer flowers. I was like a 40 year old stressed emotional women-I wasn't even blinkin twenty!
I flicked the black switch to the kttle looking at the shiny metal at my reflection: greasy long bleack hair in a knotted strangled curls, bronzed bloodshot wide eyes, and a bare thin red lips- cant really say my most prettiest image, hey?
As booming repetive screams and shouts lously echoed of off every wall, I placed all the school uniforms into individual piles: neat, tidy and folded.-for me, bags were lazily strewn everywhere I look: one bright midnight blue with bright large cartoons emblazoned boldly on the front( Jacko's) another plain clear black and white Mackenzie bag ( Tom's)One vivid and striped with cute little sweet pictures of hearts, stars and multicoloured rainbows (Millie's) And the last one leather deep dark purple with golden lines of zips randomly spread aimlessly (Emma's) One by one they stuffing themselves with fresh tasty breakfast food, the younger ones more energetic and cheerful, the older ones lazier, ruder and frankly less picking up their individual items and returning upstairs with sharp, creaking thumps as they daily went, speedy and casual.(LR was younger, upstairs, tired and ill after last night)
"Morning" said Millie a loud high voice, a ruby red cheesy smile spread across her face, barbies tightly clutched in her thin white fingers, her strawberry blonde hair tied delicately in long thin buches.
"Wheres my straighteners and curlers"screamed Emma furiously, a sour cold glance on spread on her facial features.
Holding her tea green and white striped tea cup, Sonny replied wistfully, piting her long tanned arm towards the wooden tea table in the table.
"Thank you!"She muttered in a annoyed angry tone, the usual basically-storming out of the green eyes narrow, her dazzling golden hair flying.
"Urghhh I hate school" stammered Jacko tiredly in his usual shy quiet voice-he had been diagnosed with MS previous months earlier but still the happy bright golden ray of sunshine he always was. As his wheelchair slowly spun in, he was wearing his uniform-always a good young boy.
"No you don't- your bright handsome and special" Sunny replied reassuringlt, giving him a slightly warm red smile, the pain and slightly worry reflecting reflecting in her beautiful face, giving him a wuick soft kiss on the forehead
"Yeah ,special needs" he hesitated staring down at the pale simple tiled floor, holding his frustration and agitation, his cold red lopsided grin trembling rapidly, holding it from his murky dark brown curly hair.
There was a long awkward silence, the affecting gazes burning brightly on her from her younger siblings and golden haired and bronzed haired teenagers at the marble pure white entrance, Sonny's hand trembling slightly in the outburst of feeling.
Kneeling to his level low short level, she gave a weak small smile and stammered tearfully " You are special- never forget that" holding his blue jumper in a tight forcful way for both love and stability.
Now come on everyone climb into the car" She ordered quietly, feeble and limp, small baby blue tears rolling down her face, her shakinglong pinted hands directionded towards the bright red entrance door. Following immediately they slowly clambered into the saffron yellow, her seventeen year old brother peering his wide brown eyes into hers with great emotion "I'll drive them"
Replying with a slow weak nod, they drove off feeling a big manly hand on hers, placing her pale slender fingers on his, staring her head slightly, crying loudly, eyes firmly closed in a zig zag lines, her lips pursed into a thin line, trembling ,her large watery tears staring at him, Chad staring back.
"I can't cope Chad, I cant"
Tugging at her stained torn shirt he replied with a small warm smile, his brilliantly blue eyes brimming with tears "Hey, you're the youghest prettiest bravest and funniest girl I know-you'll be fine and anyways you've got the greatest actor of your generation at your side" cuddling her in a loose armed hug, she breathed in the sweet deep scent of his designer clothes. his heavy strong breaths and especially his personality.
The last time she'd embrace it…
Last Time she'd feel….
Last Time she'd see her friends…
Last Time she'd be….
And All Because of her…..
