I stood there speechlessly even after I knew he was gone. Now that I wasn't distracted by my lust, I had felt the difference in his kiss. But what that difference was, I couldn't understand.

Was Alex in love with me?


Chapter 3

Life was beginning to seem like a jungle, and I had stumbled into a pool of quicksand. Slowly I had begun to sink; one move leading to another, and before I knew it, I was in over my head. My senses clouded, my judgement dampened by fear, and all hope draining from the world as I fight against the relentless weight on my shoulders that constantly threaten to pull me down. Exactly like quicksand. And I was one move away from drowning.

Where does the time go? Where did our minds go? I don't know.

My voice lacked enthusiasm as I put in little effort to sing the back up lyrics of the song we were practising for the fifth time in the past hour. Since a review had come up saying we had begun to lack in live performances, our manager and the owner of the label that sponsored us, had been after us to practise. The review had subtly hinted that they thought the reason behind the gradually declining performance was due to the fact that we couldn't actually sing the songs from our recently released album, which also suggested that we participated in mass studio editing. Of course, this was far from the real reason; the reason all four of knew, and would never tell. I groaned as the song finished again, pressing my head back into the couch we were all lounging on. I wasn't quite sure which would be worse for our image. Going along with the studio editing, or admitting that Alex and I had sexual relations that was affecting our relationship with the rest of the band, ultimately leading to the poor performance on stage. I honestly didn't know anymore.

"Come on guys," these exact words had come up so many times since we had started practising early this morning, that they no longer held any inspiration. "Just another hour." Zack pushed himself into an upward position, sitting on the edge of the cushion; he ran his fingers through his curly hair. "You said that an hour ago," he snapped at our manager. "And the hour before that. And the hour before that! I've had enough of this for one day. I think it's pretty damn obvious that we can sing our own songs." And with that he left the room, slamming the door behind him. We all stared after him for a while, watching in awe as the whiteboard on the back of the door swung back and forth from the force at which he had slammed the door. I was slightly surprised it hadn't fallen off completely. Our manager sighed loudly. "Jack, go talk to him."

I started to argue, but Alex pushed me off the couch, launching me forward towards the door. I glanced back to glare at him briefly before opening the door, and slamming it behind me almost as hard as Zack had. I wandered down the hallway towards the only room in the place where he would go; where he could go even. This wasn't the regular studio where we practised at, and so there was only one other room that we were allowed to be in, and that was the small lounge at the far end of the building. It had a small T.V. along with two relatively comfy fold out futons. Not much, but it was a decent place to relax. Zack was sitting on one of the futons when I entered into the room, much in the same position he had been before; his hands tangled in his hair, hunched over motionlessly. He didn't look up as I closed the door behind me and walked over to sit down beside him.

"They sent me to talk to you," I began awkwardly after we had sat there for a few minutes in silence. "I didn't think you would want to talk to anybody though. Especially not me." Zack turned his head to look at me. "What do you mean, 'especially not you'?" The cutting tone of his words left me stunned, and I fumbled to recover, searching desperately for a way to make an intelligent sentence while his glare bore into me. "Well, you and Rian have been avoiding Alex and I ever since that night at the hotel…" I trailed off, frowning. "And I guess I figured you still wouldn't want to talk to me." Zack turned his whole body to face me, pushing his hair back out of his smouldering eyes. "You think we have been avoiding you?" he demanded. I leaned back slightly, taken aback. What fucking right did he have to use that tone with me? He was the one who abandoned our friendship. "I know you two have been fucking avoiding us. You act like we don't exist when we have to be together, and then when we don't, you two just disappear. You wouldn't look us in the eye; you wouldn't even acknowledge our presence in a room. I guess you're right, that's not avoiding… that's just being an asshole."

Now it was his turn to lean back. "An asshole?" he repeated, his voice growing louder by the second. "You're the asshole! You could have at least told us that you felt that way about each other, instead of sneaking around behind our backs. You think we wouldn't be your friends anymore, just because of something like that? Fuck you, Jack. The only reason we were ignoring you, is because we had our feelings hurt. You two wouldn't trust us, so we decided not to trust you." I sat there, stunned into an open-mouthed statue. "All this time I thought…" I trailed off quietly, and he cut me off bitterly. "Yeah, well you thought fucking wrong." Zack glared down at his lap, and I put a hand on his shoulder. He tried to shove it off, but I moved my arm with him, not breaking the contact. At last, he gave up, and his shoulders sunk in defeat, looking up at me with tears forming in his eyes. "How could you even think that, Jack? We wouldn't abandon you guys for anything." My heart throbbed painfully as a staggering amount of guilt tore through me, and my breathing hitched in my throat. Suddenly the past few weeks didn't matter anymore. "Zack, I'm sorry. I-" Before I could finish my sentence, Zack had launched himself forward, throwing his arms around my neck, he caught my lips in his own, trapping my mouth against his. I was stunned as his mouth moved urgently against mine. I could feel the tears pool over in his eyes and stream down his cheeks, trailing across my own skin.

Much to my surprise, I found myself aroused, and began to kiss him back earnestly, tangling my fingers into his hair, bringing him closer to me. I found myself drawn in by the sweet smell of his breath that I tasted on my tongue as he panted and moaned into my mouth. We fell backwards on the futon, Zack falling between my now spread legs as he strained to keep the connection of our kiss. I felt the muscles in his legs and arms as he supported most of his weight, just barely touching my body. His biceps were pulsed, and I couldn't help but trail my fingers lightly down them. He moaned, before melting into my chest at the simple touch. I found that my ability to make him respond so easily turned me on, and I reached back to squeeze his ass. Zack pulled himself into a sitting position, so that he was effectively straddling me, and then quickly pulled my shirt up, over my head, and off, throwing it to the floor carelessly. I moaned as his movements created friction in my pants, making me impossibly hard underneath him. I whimpered as the small space in my jeans was overwhelmed, making my erection almost painful. Eager for relief, I ripped off his shirt; not taking into consideration that it was buttoned before they had all tore off, little white pieces bouncing everywhere. At the moment though, we were both too preoccupied to care.

Zack pulled his arms from the sleeves, tossing his ruined shirt to the floor where mine had fallen, he moved quickly to the zipper of my jeans. My head fell back into the cushion at the end of the futon while he moved himself downwards, pulling my jeans and boxers off just far enough to free my straining cock. The speed at which he was going was overwhelming, and I soon found myself lost in the desire burning through my veins, tearing a path of it's own towards my erection. Zack placed his hands on my hips and squeezed firmly before taking my hard sex into his hot eager mouth. I grasped desperately at the frame of the futon, trying to control the desire to wrap my fingers into his hair and fuck his mouth until I came hard into the back of his throat. His tongue flew wildly around the head of my cock, and firmly down the shaft again, while he continued to bob his head, taking me long and deep into his throat. I grunted continuously, finding it harder to breath every time his wet tongue touched me. My back arched off the futon, my hips grinded up, driving my cock deeper into him. Zack moaned around me, and I screamed wildly. The urgency and speed in his actions were much different then the slow tease Alex usually used, and it drove me more wildly towards my climax, leaving a scorching path of pleasure in its wake. I gasped, reluctantly pulling his head back up. My cock fell from his mouth, and he looked up at me from under his lashes, a devilish grin on his face.

I panted, attempting to regain control over my breathing as Zack took his position from before again. He hovered over my cock, and I reached for the zipper of his jeans, trying to keep the same fast moving pace he had had. I pulled them down as far as I could, and he finished taking them completely off. My eyes ran over his tanned, muscular chest and thighs, then settled on his equipped cock, fully erect for me. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, and let Zack settle himself down, hearing him whimper slightly as I filled his tight little ass. The friction as I stretched him was delicious, but I forced myself to hold still while he adjusted to my size. After what felt like an eternity, Zack lifted himself off of me, and back down deliberately again. Now that he had adjusted, he continued at the same fast paced movements.

Within minutes I was squirming under him, driving my hips up to meet him as he came back down again. His arms wrapped around my neck, weaving into my hair, and tightening convulsively with each powerful thrust. I pulled him to me, trapping his lips in my own; I pulled on his bottom lip gently with my teeth, a moan hitching in Zack's breathing. My muscles began to spasm, and I knew I was so close. I used one of my hands to reach down between us, grasping Zack's cock firmly, I began to work him in long, fast, hard strokes; determined on driving him to his climax. "Fuck, Jack." He cried out in reckless abandon before coming hard into my hand and onto my chest. Wave after wave of pleasure forced an animalistic cry from him, and that was enough to send me crashing and flying over the edge. My orgasm hit me like an oncoming truck, and I moaned loudly into his shoulder, giving a few more jerking thrusts to prolong my orgasm before settling deep inside of him. We sat perfectly still for a few minutes, recovering, until finally Zack looked deep into my eyes. I gazed back at him, and then much to my horror, he burst into tears.

I reached back and pulled his arms from around my neck, pushing him gently just far enough away, so that I could wrap him in a hug. My softening cock slid from him as I pulled him close to me. He sobbed quietly into my chest, and it was all I could do to hold him as I tried to straighten out my own thoughts. What did that all mean? Did Zack…? I sighed, feeling as if I had just made another poor move, causing me to sink deeper into the quicksand. Things had just managed to get a hell of a lot more complicated. I stroked his hair absently, while his sobs began to gradually fade. When they had become occasional sniffs, he pushed away from me deliberately. Getting to his feet, with shocking speed slipped into his jeans, grabbed his shirt, and fled from the room before I could even draw a breath to call him back with.

This was the second time today I'd stared after him as he slammed a door behind him.

The only difference was the first time it had happened I wasn't so confused, and things had been a lot less complicated.


A/N: Enjoy. Reviews would be lovely.

Also, reviews would encourage me to write and update faster! Hint hint. And if you want to add suggestions for future chapters, feel free. Requests for extra chapters at the end will also be taken.