I placed my hands over his, and we did up my jeans together. As the button slipped into place, I looked into his eyes.

Alex smirked at me. "Feeling any better?"


Chapter 5

My breath was coming in short, little, shaky gasps. Condensation was prickling across my skin in what now were ticklish drops running gently down the skin of my back, thighs, chest, and face, leaving parts of my hair matted to my forehead. My knees felt like they were going to give out at any moment, and all I could wonder is, if they did, would he catch me in his arms?

And he was asking me if I felt any better?

I smiled, and nodded, not trusting myself to say anything. I had a bad habit of blurting unnecessary, awkward things, and this really wasn't one of those moments that I wanted to ruin that way. Not like he wasn't accustomed to it by now; but still. Just because we've known each other since we were kids doesn't mean I have to always live up to bad expectations.

"Good." he grinned, pulling the curtain back like he had done so earlier, and waving an arm for me to go ahead. "I'm pretty sure our good friend Pete is wondering where we've been, and will be inquiring about the luxuries of first class." Alex waggled his eyebrows at me, and laughed before pushing me back into the overcrowded room.

I stumbled back to my seat in a euphoric daze until I got to the elderly couple I was forced to squeeze passed to get to my seat. They muttered unpleasant profanities as I struggled, making no attempts to move so that I could get by easier, until I snapped. "Look, Bitch, move your fucking legs! Just because you two got a seniors discount for this flight doesn't mean you get some kind of free pass where everyone has to put up with your shit. Now, can I get by to my seat, or would you like me to call the flight attendant so she can wipe your ass and give you your meds to control your menopause?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"No fucking way! Jack, you didn't actually say that, did you?"

It was ten hours later.

Nine hours since I was escorted off the plane at the airport of our connecting flight and refunded for the rest of my ticket. Eight hours since the rest of the tour landed in Toronto. Seven hours since they had drove the tour bus back across the boarder and into Michigan to pick me up from the Sonic's I had been sitting in for hours, thanks to the courtesy and All Time Low Fandom of the owners. And four hours since we arrived in Toronto, behind schedule, for the show we were supposed to play at the Molson Amphitheatre. Three hours since I, personally, had had to go out on the stage in front of thousands of fans and apologize for it being my fault that the show was being delayed. And now it was ten minutes before the show would finally begin.

"Yeah, he did," Pete grinned, slapping a hand on my back as if I had done something worthy of praise. "It was hysterical! The look on that old ladies face, I swear, it was priceless. Even the airport security who removed him were trying not to laugh." A circle of laughs chorused behind me as I slipped away to go peak out of the curtain at the audience. Not all of them had thought my endeavors so hilarious.

I owed a lot of pissed off fans an amazing performance tonight.

How the hell I planned to do that, I had no idea.

I'd probably have to sell my soul on the internet to make up for this.

I sighed, turning away from the curtain and heading back towards the part of the amphitheatre where Mike was selling our merchandise to the people who were only here to see specific bands and had begun to wander. All Time Low wasn't kicking it off until near the end of the night, so there were a few hours to kill before I had to face the music. Literally. Might as well take a few fan pictures and sign some things to hopefully make amends with a few fans before then.

"Hey, Jackman," Mike greeted me as I took up one of the hard plastic chairs beside him, sharpie at the ready. "Rough last twenty-four hours?" I ran my fingers through my hair, thoroughly messing it up, and let my head rest heavily in my hands. "Yeah, you could say I've had better days. Definitely better flights, that's for sure."

"Jack?"

I looked up, and into the face of the most adorable kid in the world. She looked to be about sixteen, but her eyes were too huge for her face and the kind of deep chocolate brown that you melted into. Her voice was slightly too high, but it was soft, almost like a pretty melody. Her hair was an unnatural auburn red with blond streaks, and she was wearing white skinnies and a black tank top; both self-decorated to display her love of the band. Even her shoes were decorated. She wasn't holding anything. She was just standing there, arms firmly at her sides, a slight frown creasing her face. I felt my stomach squirm uncomfortably as I recognized the emotion shadowing over her face.

Disappointment. Utter, heartbreaking, disappointment.

"Yes?" I asked quietly. She took a huge breath, her chest rising to twice its normal size before she let it out in a gust of air, her eyes closing momentarily. When she opened them again, they shone with the beginnings of tears. "I saved up for five months to come to this show tonight. I did everything I could to get money, every odd job I could do for anyone who was willing to let me do it. Finally, I had enough. I was so excited..." she paused as her voice cracked, and I felt my heart crack with it. "But now, I won't get to see you guys." She sniffled and the tears finally spilt over, leaving streaks running down her cheeks. "My only ride home is about to leave, and if I stay, I won't be able to get back, so I have to go." She looked me full in the eyes then, and I felt myself crumple under the gaze of those huge brown eyes. "You were my favourite, Jack. But now you are just a huge disappointment." A sob escaped her, and I stared in shock as she began to take off the skinnies.

"I don't want these anymore," she cried, throwing them at me, before disappearing into the crowd.

All I could do was stare after her, holding the jeans absently in my lap.

"What the hell was that all about?" Mike asked after a few minutes of stunned silence. I just shook my head, replaying over and over again the look on her face as she had thrown away the jeans. I looked down at them, noticing now how most of the art revolved around me. It was all hand drawn with sharpies; lyrics to our songs, pictures of me, a jack hammer, my many nicknames, little hearts, and the bands' name itself, along with other random drawings and doodles.

A lot of effort had gone into these.

That realization broke me.

"I have to go," I said abruptly, pushing back the chair and leaving without another glance or word. I walked briskly to our tour bus, only one thought on my mind. If I had any luck at all, he would be there, and then things would be some what better. They had to be. He could make things better. He would make things better. He always did. I heaved the door open, shutting it carelessly behind me so that it made a loud bang as it connected again with its frame. The jeans were still in my hands, and I managed to tuck them safely away in the drawer underneath the tiny cot of a bed, before he appeared.

Alex.

My Alex.

"Jack? What the hell are you doing?" he started walking towards me, but I had already rushed forward to meet him, grabbing his face in my hands and kissing him hard until we were both out of breath and panting against the wall that had been nearest us. Alex pushed me away gently, just far enough that he could look into my eyes. "What's wrong?" I couldn't look at him, so instead I addressed his nose. "Nothing. Just fuck me," I pleaded. Alex moaned, pulling me back into him. I kissed him hard, and rough, as I gave way to the flood of emotion that didn't take long to turn into a cold passionate need.

I pulled at his hair, driven on by his cries of pleasure, shoving him onto the nearest bed and quickly relieving him and myself of our clothing. My lips trailed warm kisses across his collar bone, down his chest and passed his navel, down his thigh and then up the other until I reached his warm lips again. All I wanted was to be inside of him. I needed him, needed the release he could bring me. The release that would help me escape all the pain and disappointment I had caused. Suddenly, Alex was on his back and I was straddled over him, planting kisses anywhere that I could reach on his muscular back. With a blind lust I thrust myself into him and revelled in the delicious friction and the sounds of his pleasurable moans. Unaware of anything else, I began to fuck him with such growing passion that it took me a while to register that he was screaming my name. But it was the tone in which he was doing so which made my blood instantly run cold.

It wasn't the low, husky moans I had imagined. He was crying. Begging me to stop. I pulled out of him with the realization of utmost horror; I had hurt him. Alex scrambled out of the bed as I fell hard against the wall. He fell on the floor in a tangle of blankets, still struggling to distance himself from me. The look on his face was something I'd never forget. Pain, betrayal, and fear stared back at me as I numbly watched him pull his clothes back on and run from the trailer without a single word.

Irreversible damage had been done.

I hurt him, I hurt him, I hurt him.

My Alex.

My shoulders began to shake uncontrollably as guilt crashed over me in suffocating waves. Why had I been so unbelievably stupid? He had trusted me, and I had hurt him. Tears streaked down my face, and I brushed them away fiercely; angry that they were trying to bring justification to what I had just done. Even if some how Alex ever was able to forgive me and trust me again, I would never forgive myself.

Never.


A/N: Enjoy. Reviews would be lovely.

Also, reviews would encourage me to write and update faster! Hint hint. And if you want to add suggestions for future chapters, feel free. Requests for extra chapters at the end will also be taken.

I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to update! D:
I hope you'll all forgive me, and that these next few chapters will make up for it. x