Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. This story is merely my way of saluting her. I do not own any of these characters; I just manipulate their thoughts.
Summary: Harlequin, meet Harry. Set in the late 1870's, this is a story about a lighthouse keeper who is content with the solitary life he leads until a shipwreck washes ashore a remarkable young man. As the keeper cares for the young man, his will to start living again rejuvenates, sprouting from admiration to adoration to love.
Alternate Universe. Non-Magic. Slash. Harry/Draco.
A/N: Thanks for sticking with the story! You guys are the reason why I write.
-x-
They stood under the moon for what seemed like an eternity. Harry's arms were around Draco's neck and Draco's arms were around Harry's waist. Their breaths came together as they stood silently. Harry never wanted to leave. He breathed in Draco's cologne, feeling giddy and intoxicated. Draco gently squeezed Harry at random intervals when his chest felt too full of happiness.
Draco sighed into Harry's hair. "I never imagined…"
Harry smiled. "This is all I imagined…"
"How did this happen?" Draco groaned, his arms tightening around Harry possessively.
"I missed you too."
"How are we…"
"I don't know."
"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all," Draco said firmly.
After another eternity, they decided to head back to their friends. "What do we tell them?" Harry asked nervously.
"Nothing?" Draco asked hopefully.
"Nothing sounds great," Harry murmured.
"They won't understand."
Harry knew Draco was right. The reality of their situation was descending up on them. Harry didn't understand it himself. A man loving another man was blasphemous, even in non-religious sectors. Harry didn't see Draco as a man he loved. To him, Draco was Draco, just a person who understood him and made him happy. He had pondered his emotions about Draco for over four years. He knew what he had felt wasn't natural because society deemed it unnatural. Men were hanged because of their improper sexuality until twenty years ago. Now men were incarcerated for having a relationship with another man. Homosexuality was a disease – a disease that infested the mind. Harry had tried not to think about it for years. He didn't want to be labeled. He couldn't help who he fell in love with, be it man or woman. And he was scared.
"Harry, it's alright," Draco said softly, squeezing Harry's hand in reassurance.
"How?"
"We'll move away. Far away. No one will find us," Draco said with a dreamy smile.
Draco's naiveté hadn't blown over. It was still black and white for him. "Scorpius…" Harry said.
"We will take him with us, of course," Draco explained.
"It's not that simple. You have family. And our friends… We can't just disappear."
"What else can we do?"
"I – I don't know," Harry said helplessly. Harry had never thought about what would happen if Draco reciprocated. Harry's dreams always ended with the kiss. That was all. No running and no hiding. It was always just the two of them sealing their love with a kiss. But now, it was real. So real that Harry was starting to panic. "If anyone finds out, they might – I can't –"
"They won't hurt you," Draco said, trying to quell Harry's fears.
"That's not – they might – what if they take you away? I don't want them to take you away."
Draco groaned at Harry's fearful tone. "Please, Harry, don't. We'll think of something. Just – we will be fine," Draco said.
Harry was silent as he led Draco down the boardwalk. He didn't want to think. He just wanted to be. Be with Draco, be carefree, and be happy. "We're here, mind the steps," Harry said.
"Three hundred and twenty seven."
"Hmm?"
"Your lighthouse. It has three hundred and twenty seven steps."
Harry smiled in wonder. "You counted?"
"Yes. Now you can sleep at night," Draco said playfully.
"I can," Harry echoed.
They stood on the landing, unwilling to go inside. Harry sighed and was about to open the door when Draco pulled him away, crushing him in a tight embrace. "Whatever happens, you know I love you," Draco said.
"I know."
Draco let go of Harry as suddenly as he had enveloped him. Harry staggered back, dazed. He recovered a few moments later, taking calming breaths. Draco smoothed his hand over his hair. "Do I look presentable?" he asked Harry.
"When don't you?" Harry said warmly with a grin. "Do I?"
Draco smiled. "Let's see," he said, feeling the air in front of him and landing his hands on Harry's hair. He brushed it back. It flopped forward. He frowned and pushed it back again. It refused to stay put. "What's wrong with your hair?"
"Um… It's hopeless."
"Hmm," Draco said, trying one last time to comb it back with his fingers. He sighed when it fell haphazardly around his hands after he let go. "It is hopeless," he said, moving one hand down Harry's forehead. His finger traced the scar with his finger. "This is…"
"A scar."
Draco nodded, leaving his finger over the scar. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Harry's forehead. Harry stood stock-still, his head tilted up at Draco's careful inspection. Draco's hand that was tangled in Harry's hair was feeling the texture slowly. Draco's other hand made its way from Harry's scar to his nose, running down it lightly. Draco touched his lips against the bridge of Harry's nose. Then his hand traveled down to Harry's cheek where Harry felt another kiss. His chin got a hint of lips and his other cheek got more than a hint. Draco's fingers moved to Harry's lips. Harry smiled. Draco grinned as he felt the lips moving under him. He traced Harry's curved mouth.
"You have a wonderful smile," Draco whispered.
"Yours is much better," Harry murmured against Draco's fingers.
"Perhaps," Draco replied, kissing Harry's lips softly. Even the light touch was threatening to cause Harry to drop, so he clung to Draco's arms and held himself up.
Draco broke away slowly, so slowly that Harry wasn't even aware of it. "I think you look quite presentable now," Draco said. Harry opened his eyes and stared into Draco's loving smile.
"I'd wager that I don't," Harry breathed, feeling the blush on his cheeks and ears. He touched his lips gently with a smile. "I think I'm dreaming," he said, clutching Draco's hand and intertwining his fingers in them.
"Then I'm glad I'm in it," Draco said.
Harry laughed, opening the door.
"About bloody time. Thought you two had decided to swim all the way to London," Blaise said loudly from the drawing room.
Draco scoffed as Harry led him into the room. "And leave Scorpius with you? Not a chance," he said.
Harry marveled at Draco's steady voice and calm tone. Harry didn't think he would be able to talk for an entire week after what happened. He just took to smiling uneasily.
"Shall we go?" Rachel asked, holding Scorpius close to her as she got up.
"Yes, let's," Blaise said. "Especially since I'm clearly winning," he added.
Ron scowled. "I still have a few chances," he muttered.
"Then we'll continue this tomorrow. You must be tuckered out after being chased around in circles," Blaise said smugly.
Ron's scowled deepened. "Yes, we'll continue this tomorrow," he said darkly. Hermione and Rachel laughed at their husbands' antics.
The party went into the foyer to say their goodnights. Draco squeezed Harry's hand reassuringly. "Goodnight. Thank you all for the wonderful evening," he said eloquently.
"Our pleasure," Hermione said graciously.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Harry," Draco said with a warm smile.
"Yes," Harry murmured.
-x-
"Mother, this is Harry Potter. Harry, Narcissa Black."
Harry smiled faintly at Narcissa, taking her hand and brushing his lips against the knuckles. His mild body language was in direct opposition with his trembling heart. Narcissa was a formidable woman. Her pale blond hair was curled loosely and her blue eyes shone with knowledge. Harry could spot the family resemblance. She was tall for a woman. Her beauty betrayed her age. Nobility radiated from Narcissa.
"Shall we?" Draco asked.
"Yes," Narcissa said.
As the evening progressed, Harry started to get more relaxed in the large manor while Narcissa continued to grow more uncomfortable. When Draco had told her about Harry, Narcissa was less than cordial. She did not understand why Harry Potter would even venture into a friendship with Draco. The hurt ran deep. It was, after all, the fault of the Potters for wrenching her family apart. Riddle's plans for revenge had started to seep into Narcissa's marriage with Lucius. As the years progressed, Lucius had started obsessing over Harry. It was only natural that the animosity he felt for Harry would flow over to Narcissa. Narcissa knew how wrong it was to feel that way. Harry was a child. When she overheard about the plans to kill the boy for petty revenge, she was torn between loyalty to her husband and disgust over the wrongful acts being done by her husband. The day Riddle was killed, Lucius left. This was over fifteen years ago.
Now here he was, sitting in her living room and eating her food. And all Narcissa could think of doing was to look for Harry's ulterior motive. There had to be one. Why else would Harry Potter be dining in the Malfoy Manor? Why else would Harry Potter be friendly to her family? How could this young gentleman have garnered the wrath of Tom Riddle?
Draco was laughing… Narcissa gazed at her son. She hadn't heard the carefree laugh since Draco was a child. She hadn't seen the small dimple on his cheek since before Lucius left. She hadn't noticed Draco's expressive hands since his accident four years ago. Draco was laughing…
Narcissa silently watched the two men converse. Her thoughts grew more muddled as the hours progressed. They seemed to be able to talk forever. They talked about music, books, past years, friends, sports – anything and everything. Narcissa felt like an outsider who was merely watching Harry and Draco.
Most men shrunk away when Draco held out his hand for a touch. Most men shifted back when Draco moved his knee to make contact. Narcissa knew why her son did this. It was because he wanted to make sure the person he was conversing with was really there. Draco didn't want to be talking and then realize suddenly that he was talking to no one. That was lunacy and that was what Draco was most afraid of. Most men held back, standing further away from Draco than was appropriate. Draco never noticed. He couldn't judge distances. But Narcissa had always felt enraged that Draco's peers and colleagues distanced themselves from him, both physically and, more often that not, emotionally.
Harry met Draco's hand. Harry pressed into Draco's knee.
This was Harry Potter's ulterior motive…
"Mother, what do you think?" Draco asked conversationally, smiling at where Narcissa was sitting.
Narcissa blinked. "I think… You're in love with him."
The change was visible. Color drained from Harry's cheeks. Draco's mouth hung open. Harry let his hand fall from Draco's shoulder. Draco shifted, moving his body away from Harry. "W – what?"
"And he knows…" Narcissa murmured, tilting her head slightly as she flicked her eyes between Harry and Draco.
"N – Mother, you're embarrassing me!" Draco said, trying to cover up his terror with an odd laugh.
"You can't lie to me, Draco," Narcissa said, getting up from her chair. "Especially not about this."
"W – we aren't in –"
"Is that why you brought him here? To see if I approve?"
"Mother, please! That's not –"
"Because this – this scum is the reason we are in this situation," Narcissa spat out.
Both men looked stricken at the woman's words.
"Because he is the reason your father left. He is the reason I had to raise you on my own. You disgust me," she hissed. "He has poisoned your mind. He is nothing but a manipulative man out for revenge. And you, Draco, were naïve enough to –" Narcissa broke off, her emotions too frayed.
Draco's anger was rising with his mother's. "You have no right to –"
"No right?" Narcissa asked incredulously. "You tell me you love a man and I have no right? What did he do to you?"
"He saved my –"
"And you," Narcissa said, interrupting Draco's pleas and turning to face Harry's pale face. "You are a home wrecker. You are a good-for-nothing. You will leave my son alone. If I ever – Don't you dare – You are worse than scum."
A resounding slap reverberated in the room. Harry reeled as he felt the sharp sting on his cheek. Narcissa was seething with anger and she didn't notice the pain in her palm. Draco was clutching the sofa with white knuckles as his overloaded mind tried to process it all. Narcissa waited for Harry's outburst.
"I – I should go," Harry murmured breathlessly. He staggered to his feet, his breath coming out in ragged spurts. His eyes instinctively flicked towards Narcissa.
Narcissa had been expecting anger and murder in his eyes. She nearly flinched when she saw pain and sadness in the deep green. Before she could look further, Harry had pulled his gaze to the floor. "I – I won't – I'm sorry," he said quietly. "Goodbye…"
Draco was drowning in the darkness. Everything sounded hollow. His mind moved too sluggishly. He heard the soft goodbye and he couldn't respond. All he could do was hear his heart beating and his breath moving. When the familiar hand caressed his hair, he was brought back. "What did you do?" he breathed, twisting his head away from Narcissa's hand. "How could you? He – I – oh god…" He scrambled off of his seat. He felt light headed from the panic.
"He won't come back."
Draco stumbled at Narcissa's firm words. "What?"
"He won't hurt us again."
Draco felt unwanted tears filling his eyes at the ominous words. "You – you hit him… You hurt him," Draco said, trying to hold in his emotions.
"Before he could hurt you."
"He has never hurt me," Draco growled, turning towards his mother. "How dare you? He has been nothing but good to me. And you –"
"He has been nothing but good to you?" Narcissa scoffed. "He seduced you. He is the worst of his kind. He deserves to die."
"He saved my life!" Draco said loudly, terrified at his mother's emotions.
"Why do you think he did?"
"Wh – why? There is no why! He loves me!" Draco said helplessly as he tried to reason with Narcissa.
"He loves you? You are still a child, Draco. You don't understand how this world works."
"I don't understand? Do you have any notion of what Father did to him?" Draco nearly yelled in anger. "Do you know what Harry has been through? You have no – He has a bigger heart than anyone I know. And you just – oh god, you – I need to – I have to go," Draco stammered, feeling his way across the room.
"You are not going anywhere," Narcissa said as she swiftly grabbed hold of Draco's arm.
"You think he's worse than scum? No, Mother. We are," Draco said vehemently, wrenching his arm out of Narcissa's grip. That was when the crippling migraine throbbed between Draco's eyes. Adding to the emotional turmoil, it was more than Draco could stand. He whimpered and fell to his knees, tears flowing freely now. He clutched his hands to his head, willing the pain to stop. He needed to find Harry. He needed to apologize. He couldn't succumb to the pain. But the pain worsened as he thought of Harry. He didn't hear Narcissa's worried words. He didn't feel Narcissa's grip. He couldn't think of anything but the migraine and Harry's hushed goodbye. With a trembling moan, Draco fell into his ever-present darkness.
-x-
" – just over-worked."
" – rest for a few days."
"He will be right as a fiddle."
Draco jerked awake, his arms flailing in front of him as the terrible feeling of dropping into the abyss made his stomach plunge. His soft gasps echoed in the dark.
"He's awake," Blaise's relieved voice broke into Draco's consciousness.
Awake, alone and blind. Draco let Blaise pull him into a rough hug. He let the tears flow on their own accord. He let his lids fall shut uselessly over his blank irises. He didn't want any of this.
"Scared us stiff," Blaise laughed into Draco's ear.
He had hurt Harry. And now Harry was gone. He didn't even let Draco say goodbye…
"How's your head?" Blaise asked, letting go of Draco and holding him out at an arm's reach. He was slightly disconcerted at the tears on Draco's cheeks. "Hmm?" he asked, frowning at Draco's blank and serene expression.
Would he come back like last time? Draco hoped against hope that Harry would. Why wouldn't his tears stop?
"Draco?"
Maybe Harry had been right. Maybe Harry should never have left the lighthouse. None of this would have happened. Neither man would have known what love was like.
"You alright?" Blaise asked, gently patting Draco's wet cheek.
Was Draco supposed to hate Harry like Narcissa said? Was it all Harry's fault? Draco knew it wasn't. How could it possibly be Harry's fault? He was the victim. Was it Draco's fault?
Blaise was now shaking Draco lightly. "Draco, please…"
Maybe it was. Tears kept rolling. Draco had been selfish. He had made Harry leave. He had given Harry hope. He had hurt Harry beyond belief. Harry hated him.
Blaise heard the soft moan escape Draco's lips. Blaise's heart rattled in his chest. Draco looked broken and Blaise didn't know how to fix him. "Narcissa," he called out, panicking.
How could he have been so gullible? How could he have thought that Narcissa would welcome Harry with open arms as Scorpius had? How could he have subjected Harry to such humiliation? Harry hated him.
The moan turned to shallow sobs. Narcissa froze at the doorway when she saw the scene. Draco was sagging in Blaise's arms and Blaise's expression was that of sheer terror. "Draco?" Narcissa said shakily.
Harry had known. Harry had known and he had tried to tell Draco. But Draco had had his head stuck in the clouds. He had been adamant about Harry meeting Narcissa. And Harry, being Harry, had agreed merely to appease Draco. Harry was right. Draco shouldn't have brought him. Harry hated him.
The sobs were now causing Draco to gasp for air as it increased in intensity. Narcissa was holding Draco tight against her, feeling his every tremble and choking breath. She looked at Blaise helplessly, tears in her own eyes.
Awake, alone and blind… "He hates me," Draco breathed into Narcissa's shoulder as he lost his thoughts and fell asleep against her embrace.
-x-
"What happened?" Blaise asked, sitting on the chair in the dining room.
Narcissa sighed, shaking her head and pinching the bridge of her nose. "Disgrace…" she muttered.
"What?" Blaise asked sharply.
"It is not even worth talking about."
Blaise blinked at Narcissa. "Of course it's worth talking about! What's wrong with him?" he asked in disbelief.
"He has let Potter manipulate him to no end."
Now Blaise was thoroughly confused. "Harry Potter?"
"Absolute disgrace…"
"Narcissa, what happened?" Blaise asked carefully.
"I am so disgusted, I don't even – it's not worth repeating."
"What did Potter do?" he asked, sitting on the edge of his seat.
Narcissa shuddered. "I'm keeping this between Draco and myself," she said curtly.
Blaise exhaled forcefully. "Something is wrong and I need to know. Draco was – he – I've never… Please, we need to know what to do," Blaise tried to reason.
"Draco will heal and come to his senses in the morning."
"H – heal? Wh – what did Harry do to him?" Blaise gasped.
"All Mr. Potter did was hurt Draco beyond a shadow of a doubt."
That was all Blaise needed to hear. He pushed back his chair in anger and stormed out.
-x-
Blaise's rage faltered when he was met with Harry's defeated figure and bloodshot eyes. It took Harry a few moments to register who his visitor was. "Blaise… Wh – what are you doing here?" Harry asked softly.
"Are you alright?" Blaise asked impulsively.
"I – I'm –" Harry stammered, choking on his words. Then he seemingly shook the thoughts out of his head and straightened up. "Y – yes, of course," he said.
Blaise let out a low growl of exasperation. "Why the fuck is everyone lying to me?" he asked, glowering at Harry.
Harry took a step back at Blaise's statement. "I – what are you doing here?" he resorted to asking instead of answering.
"I want to know what you did."
Harry's heavy mind was slow to process what Blaise was talking about. "What did I do?"
"What did you do last night?"
Harry's stomach plunged. "I already told Ms. Black that I wouldn't be seeing Draco again. What more does she want?" Harry asked helplessly.
"What?" Blaise asked in confusion.
Harry sighed painfully. "Look, just – just tell Draco that – I'm sorry I didn't let him say goodbye again," Harry said. "I – I'm leaving tomorrow. It's been a pleasure knowing you, Blaise. Tell Draco that I will always –" Harry caught himself. "– that I'm not angry with him. I just don't – I don't want him or his mother to get hurt. Okay?"
"Y – you're leaving?" Blaise stammered.
"Traveling…" Harry said vaguely. "Goodbye," he murmured, quickly shutting the door before tears could escape in front of Blaise.
-x-
"You need to wake the fuck up and tell me what the hell is happening!"
Draco groaned as his eyes fluttered open. "Shut up," he mumbled, turning away from Blaise.
"No! What happened?" Blaise asked urgently.
"I don't want to talk about it," Draco said, trying to forget.
"No one wants to bloody talk about it! How the hell do I help you if you don't want to talk about it?" Blaise asked in disbelief.
"I don't need helping," Draco muttered, covering his ears with his hands. "Leave me alone."
"Narcissa is being Narcissa, Harry left, and you're being a prick!"
Draco's heart stalled for a second. "Left?" he asked quietly. "H – he left?"
Blaise swallowed nervously when he heard the tremor in Draco's voice. "He said he's sorry," Blaise mumbled.
"What?"
"He said he's sorry he didn't let you say goodbye."
"Oh…" Draco had no more tears for Harry. Harry was gone.
"Draco," Blaise said, rolling Draco over so they were face-to-face. "Please…"
"It doesn't matter anymore," Draco said blankly.
"He's not angry with you," Blaise said slowly.
Draco's stoic mask broke slightly. "He's not – angry?"
"He said he's not angry with you. He doesn't want you to get hurt. He said he's sorry."
"Wh – why is he sorry?" Draco stammered.
Blaise sighed in defeat. "For god's – he loves you," Blaise said. Blaise watched Draco's mask crumble before his eyes. Draco shrunk away, his eyes squeezed shut and his body curling into itself. A sharp intake of breath was the first indication Blaise got that Narcissa had been listening at the door. He looked up at Narcissa's drawn face. Blaise frowned as recognition flared. "You found out… That's what this is about, isn't it?" he asked.
"He doesn't love Draco," Narcissa said, her voice less sure than her words.
"The man was devastated!" Blaise said incredulously. "He was crying, for heaven's sakes! Of course he loves Draco! He left because he didn't want you or Draco to get hurt!" Blaise's words rang through the bedroom.
"I don't want anyone else to get hurt, alright?"
Draco sat up, throwing his arms out wildly to connect with Blaise. "I have to find him. I need to – I have to go," he said rapidly. "He doesn't – please, I need to find him."
"He's gone, Draco," Blaise said gently.
"No, no, no. He's – I didn't say goodbye. Please, I didn't say goodbye," Draco sobbed dryly.
"He knows you wanted to."
"That's not enough. I need him. Please, Blaise. He's alone. Where is he? We have to find him," Draco rambled as he cried.
"I don't know where he is… I don't know, Draco."
"Oh god," Draco moaned, trying to stave off his nausea. "He said he wouldn't leave me. He said he wouldn't leave." The migraine bloomed into Draco's head again, causing him to cry out and fall back onto his pillows. He wrapped his arms around his head and brought his knees up to his chest as he wept without tears. Harry was gone again.
-x-
