Did those girls get us drunk out of our minds and then steal our bus?
Oh god.
Ignoring the sudden pain that shot through me as I sat quickly upright, I staggered toward the front of the bus, unsure of what I might see there.
Chapter 8
"Well, good afternoon, Sunshine. Sleep well?"
I blinked in relieved surprise at Rian Dawson - smiling his big, white smile. He was alternating between watching the road and looking up at me, the expression on his face made me think he knew something I didn't, which wasn't surprising at this point. "Why are you driving?" He laughed. "Well, since you guys decided to leave me in the bus, I was the only one sober enough to do it." He laughed harder as I groaned, massaging my temples. "Do you remember anything from last night?"
"Should I?"
"Probably not."
"Fantastic."
The smile faded from his face and was replaced with genuine concern. "All that happened was you guys brought a couple girls back to the bus after heading to the bar across the street from Burger King, got even more trashed, and then I kicked them out once I figured we needed to get back on the road. Nothing bad happened. It was actually a good thing I didn't go with you guys because it made it easier for me to watch over you all." I shook my head in disbelief that I was friends with such a great guy. Rian really was one of the most caring people I'd ever met, and it was strange to think I owed our friendship to a Face To Face t-shirt.
Who would have thought?
"Thanks, Rian." I sighed.
He shrugged, "Eh, it's no problem. If I didn't, I'm sure an angry mob would come after me demanding to know how I could let you guys be murdered and raped by drunken crazed fangirls..." I just shook my head. He sure knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. Yeah, right. I stumbled back down the hall and rolled into my bunk, not even bothering to exert the effort required to pull across the curtain. I figured it would only be a few more hours until we stopped for our final show of the tour - a hometown show in Baltimore. And even though the tour had been full of amazing people, great shows, and countless memories, I was definitely ready to get off the road again.
Thinking about the tour reminded me of the girl whose jeans I never seemed to take off anymore. My heart squeezed with regret. I wondered if I would ever be able to make it up to her, or even if I'd ever see her again to be able to have that option. I sighed, tracing my finger around the flying pig printed across my shirt until I drifted off into a restless sleep.
I had horrible dreams.
I dreamed Alex was standing on a cliff edge, looking down at the bone chilling dark abyss that seemed to float up from below and circle around his ankles, threatening to pull him into its depths. I watched in absolute horror as he smiled at me before taking a step into the blackness. Screaming, I lunged forward. But my body refused to move, sound refused to be made... And then suddenly I was sitting alone in an empty room. My throat restricted painfully as I took in the walls, stained with words written in what looked like blood.
'He hates you. They all hate you. Alex doesn't love you.'
"No, no! He loves me! He loves me!"
The walls seemed to laugh at my pathetic pleas as they began to close in around me. I yelled, pounding my fists against the steadily advancing walls. "Get away from me! You're wrong! You're wrong!" Alex appeared next to me then, his face contorted in a scowl of pure disgust - a stranger to my eyes. His brown eyes were cold, hard, cruel. He seemed to tower over me as he spoke and I cowered away from this twisted version of my best friend. "I don't love you, Jack. You're nothing to me - you're pathetic. You're nothing. Did you actually think I would take you seriously? You're just another idiot to me. Jack..."
"No," I whimpered, tears falling down my cheeks in hot streaks. "You don't mean that."
"Worthless Jack..."
"No, no, no."
"Jack..."
"No, no, NO!"
"Jack! God dammit, Jack, wake up!"
My body flew upright as my eyes shot open and it took less than a second for a head splitting pain to shoot through me as my head connected with the roof of my bunk. I groaned, grabbing my head and curling in on myself. My face was wet with tears, both from the pain of what I assumed would be a concussion and the nightmare I had been woken up from. Alex rolled me over as gently as he could manage, but I could still hear the distress in his voice as he spoke. "Jack, are you alright? I heard you screaming, and then you just hit your head... Jack? Jack, you're scaring the fuck out of me! Answer me, please!" I uncurled myself and turned tentatively to look into his eyes. They were the same warm, brown eyes I was used to. No trace of the monster from my nightmare.
I exhaled loudly with relief. "I'm fine, thanks."
Alex frowned, putting his hand on my forehead gently, he let his fingertips trail lightly across my skin. My eyelids fell closed with his touch and I immediately began to forget about the pain and the fear from before. I heard him sigh before he lied down next to me, wrapping his arm around me. "I worry about you, Jack. You have nightmares all the time, you always look like you've been crying, and you look so sad sometimes. One day I'm not going to be here, and..."
The rest of his sentence was lost in a haze of drowsiness as I fell asleep in his arms.
When I woke up we were in Baltimore.
"Home sweet home!" Rian chorused as we pulled up behind the equipment truck outside of the Recher theatre. We stepped out into the fresh air together, stretching out stiff limbs and soaking up the familiarity. It was always nice to be back home. After a few minutes of small talk we all set off to do our jobs of setting up before the show, working quickly to ensure everything would be perfect before fans started showing up and the doors opened. It was three hours later, sound check completed flawlessly, when kids began to pour into what would be an extremely tight-knit venue. I smiled as I saw a few homemade t-shirts and people carrying signs for us. No one could deny the love our fans continued to show us every single day, and at every single show.
It started off just like any other night.
Of course it did.
If it hadn't, would any of this be happening right now? None of us knew we were about to willingly walk into the end of everything we'd ever known. None of us knew what lie merely hours ahead, and to tell you the truth, had someone, somehow managed to find a way to give us a forewarning of the events to come, I doubted any of us would have believed them.
None of us ever could have expected it would end like this.
The ampitheatre roared with cheers and anticipated screams of hundreds as we came bounding on to the stage, giddy with adrenaline and the same old familiar buzz of nerves. No matter how many shows we went to, how many venues we played, how many songs we sung, there was always that question of 'what if'. What if this time I forget a lyric? What if this time I miss a note? And it's that continuous unpredictability that made the sweat bead on my forehead and butterflies pound through my chest. As I slung the guitar strap over my head, I felt all my nerves melt away.
This was where I belonged.
The first stage of our set went by faster then I would have liked - it always did. Time seemed to fly by at shows, and before I knew it, we were only four songs away from the end. It always made my heart feel a little heavy to know that these kids waited for so long, built up so much excitement, only to get to spend so little time with us. But in a world that revolves so tightly around money and rules it is hard to try and incorporate wants. "This is our last song," I announced, causing a wave of moans and sad protests to flow across the many faces looking up at us. Alex grabbed his mic from its stand and walked closer to the front of the stage, leaning with one foot up on the floor amp. "We're sorry these shows are so short, really, we are. We wish we could just take you all to one giant island and play a show for hours, but we can't. We appreciate everything you do, though, and I just wanted to say that I fucking love y-"
And then it happened.
Before he could finish his sentence, a large blur flew past, inches from his face, and I turned in time to see the half-full water bottle collide with Rian's face. I watched in absolute horror as he collapsed backwards off his stool and fell from the raised platform. Stunned silence had lasted for only moments before the entire Ampitheatre burst abruptly into chaos. I could hear people screaming and crying as I ripped my guitar from over my shoulder and ran for Rian. Zack had beat me there, not pausing for the second of shock as he fell, and was already carrying Rian backstage in his arms. I rushed quickly after them, Alex following suit close at my heels. The paramedics were waiting only a few feet backstage and began to assess him after Zack had laid him carefully on the floor. He was twitching slightly, and quiet groans were coming from him every few seconds.
"Just a concussion," one of the paramedics said after a few more minutes.
I laughed, the sound tainted with bitterness. Just a concussion. Just? I'd never been a particularly violent person, but in that moment I wanted to punch anything I could get my hands on. It seemed that Zack liked the diagnosis just as much as I did, as I saw him clench and unclench his fingers a few times - the veins all too visible under his tense skin. Alex was staring, his jaw slack with disbelief as he stared at the paramedic who was still focusing on tending to the small pool of blood forming above Rian's left temple. It had trailed down the side of his head and into his short cropped hair, leaving a sickly dark red streak.
"How could anyone fucking do this to another person?" I asked angrily, realizing briefly that the bottle had been aimed at Alex. "How could one person be so carelessly stupid?" My face was getting hot with anger and I walked away a few paces, throwing my hands up in the air. Having no where to channel my emotions to, they began to build up uncomfortably in my chest, making me feel restless. I paced back in forth for what seemed like forever, muttering under my breath about 'just concussions' when I saw Rian sit up from the corner of my eye. The restlessness left me abruptly and I hurried to crouch near him again.
"Rian? Rian, man - are you okay?"
He blinked a couple of times before reaching for his head.
His fingers connected with the place of impact, now wrapped in gauze, but I still saw him flinch as he quickly let his arm fall back into his lap. Rian looked around at us, and then in confusion at the paramedics. We sat in silence like this for a few minutes before something flashed in his eyes, and suddenly his face went hard. He locked me in his gaze - his eyes burned with an icy coldness and I found I could not look away.
"They threw a bottle at Alex."
It wasn't a question, but I found it necessary to nod.
"The bottle hit me instead."
I nodded again.
Rian's eyes narrowed with an emotion that only flashed across them for a second before it was replaced with the same icy hardness. Was it sadness? Anger? Betrayal? I couldn't tell, and I didn't have time to dwell on it as his eyes demanded my attention again. "Someone could have got seriously hurt today." It bothered me how formal his voice sounded, how it was free of its usual warmth and compassion. He closed his eyes very slowly, his head falling down towards his lap, and sighed.
"Guys, I can't do this anymore."
"What?" my heart pulled in anguish inside my chest, dared me to hold onto the hope that I had misheard him.
"I can't risk my life, risk our lives, anymore."
"I'm done."
A/N: Enjoy. Reviews would be lovely.
Also, reviews would encourage me to write and update faster! Hint hint. And if you want to add suggestions for future chapters, feel free. Requests for extra chapters at the end will also be taken.
Hope you enjoy the new chapter! x
