I looked at my angel, she seemed sad about what she was going to have to remember for us. Which caused me to worry, nothing could have happened to her in the last 3 years that was worse than becoming a vampire could it? I felt so guilty at the thought of what might have happened to her in my absense, I should never have left. I felt a wave of calm hit me and gave Jasper a thankful smile before looking back to Bella.
She lifted her hand out infront of her like she had done earlier with Alice's vision and her memories started to play before our eye's like a movie... starting the day I left her, the worst day of my life.
Bella walked into the woods trying to follow me once I left her... she just kept walking deeper, and deeper into the woods, stumbling occasionally... tears spilling from her eyes, she looked so numb. She stumbled and she fell again, only this time she just lay there curled up on the ground, I could tell hours must have passed because the sky was dark now but there was no sense of time in this memory. There were voices calling out Bella's name but she couldnt seem to find the strength to answer, after a while someone found her, his name was Sam Uley he said and he carried her towards the other voices calling out for her, every so often she would say "He's gone" without realising she had said it out loud...
The memory changed, this time it was in Bella's old bedroom, she was lying on her bed, her eyes were red from crying and she looked paler than usual, Charlie and Renee were trying to pack her things, to take her to Phoenix with Renee, she lost it then and got up and started screaming at them that she wasnt going anywhere and throwing her clothes around...
It had changed again this time she was sitting at the table in Charlies kitchen pushing the food on her plate about with her fork, Charlie walked in and said "Bella honey, there's been an accident"... she looked up at him her eyes blank and repeated the word addicent softly, he nodded his head slowly, looking like he was going to break down in tears at any second but he found the strength to speak again "Bella, its your mother... she was driving, the car came out of nowhere... she- she's died Bella", Bella's eyes stayed blank for a moment while she processed the information then if possible, she turned even paler and collapsed...
I could tell this memory was few months after Renee had died because her hair was longer than it had been before, but one thing that hadnt changed was the blank look in her eyes, she was walking around the kitchen preparing dinner for Charlie, but she didnt even seem to be aware of what she was doing, it was like she was a lifeless puppet and someone else was pulling her strings making her move... there was a knock at the door, she walked slowly to answer it, it was a man in a police uniform, I remember seeing him in Charlies mind, he worked with Charlie... the man hesitated before speaking "Bella, I have some bad news for you, can I come in? I think you better sit down" she just nodded her eyes still void of emotion and led him to the living room and sat down "Bella, I'm so sorry, there was a robbery today, and Charlie was one of the officers called out... he was shot Bella, he didnt make it, Charlie is dead" Bella sat frozen before slowly shaking her head, then she started repeating over and over "no no no no no", "its not true", "he's all I had left", her eyes overflowing with tears and her eyes filled with pain that would break anyones heart to look at...
Bella was standing on a cliff, I think it was one of the cliffs in La Push... she was looking out to the ocean and then she started walkin towards the edge, she took each step carefully until her feet were at the very edge, and then I heard a voice, I could tell the voice was in her head... it was my voice, begging her not to do what she was about to, she closed her eye's as a single tear fell down her cheek and she said quietly "I have to, I have nothing left to live for... no one left to live for" my voice was growling at her now and it told her I love her, she smiled at that and then jumped... and she was falling, she was still conscious when she hit the water and my voice was still pleading with her to fight, her only response was to say "goodbye, I love you" with her thoughts and she smiled as she was drowning. Then there was a flash of red in the water and Bella was moving towards the surface of the water...
Victoria and Laurent stood over Bella on the beach, they looked at eachother and then Laurent nodded... Victoria leaned down to Bella and Bella said in barely a whisper "are you going to kill me now?" there wasnt any fear in her voice, infact she sounded almost hopeful, Victoria shook her head and smiled sadly before saying "No Bella, I'm going to change you", now Bella's eyes widened in fear and she tried to scream "dont leave me"... Victoria and Laurent looked at eachother again, both looking so sad. Laurent knelt down next to Victoria and took Bella's hand and said "We wont leave you Bella, everythings going to be okay"... Bella looked up and mirrored their sad smile's before whispering "thank you" then it all went black...
Bella was a vampire in this memory, she seemed happier, she walked into her house she used to share with Charlie and said "Vicky, Laurent are you guys home?" a cruel voice said from behind her "No darling Isabella, they're not" Bella spun round quickly to see a vampire I didnt recognise before another vampire grabbed her from behind and then it all went black again...
Bella was in some sort of dungeon, her eyes were a dark onyx colour... she needed to hunt, and soon. They were voices and footsteps they stopped outside the door to the dungeon, the door opened quickly and two bodies fell in that I recognised immediately as Travis and Christopher, only they were clearly human here and hurt badly... the door slammed closed again and Bella hurried over to them asking if they were okay, they seemed terrified of her as they realised what she was and she reassured them that she wouldnt hurt them...
Bella looked so weak in the dungeon, It was obvious a considerable amount of time had passed and she still hadnt hunted her eyes were the darkest shade of black I've ever seen on a vampire and yet the two humans that had been thrown in wtih her in the earlier memory were still alive, she had managed to stay in control and kept her promise not to hurt them, they were asking eachother questions like favourite colours, favourite movies as if to pass the time and distract them from the hell they were in...
Travis and Chris were pleading with Bella to change them, she was going to do it, I could tell by the look in her eyes she knew it was the only way to save them, so she did... she bit them both and released them as soon as there was enough venom and not a moment later... her self control could put Carlisle to shame... and then the screaming began...
Bella, Travis and Chris all sat in the dungeon still, all of them now vampires and all of them beyond thirsty, when there was that cruel voice again coming from the door "tsk tsk Bella, I'm dissappointed in you... you've been here for two months now and havent fed, I give you two humans to drink and what do you do? you change them instead of ending your own suffering, I must say I admire yourself control but the only way you're going to get out of this hell is if you join me, we're perfect for eachother-" Bella growled interrupting him "Never" she shouted... the voice just laughed and walked away from the door calling back "We'll see Bella, you'll change your mind soon..."...
It was in the dungeon again, only this time there seemed to be a commotion coming from somewhere above, they could hear fighting, screaming... and then hurried footsteps coming towards the door... the door was flung open and Victoria and Laurent ran in hugging Bella tightly sighing in relief... Bella asked how they found her, and they said they went to the Volturi for help... she asked if they caught and killed the vampire that was responsible but they shook there heads and said he'd got away...
Bella was in a room, she looked happy now, healthy... her eyes were a brilliant topaz colour again. She was looking at the three vampires that were sitting infront of her, Aro, Caius and Marcus... Aro spoke first "Bella, have you made your decision as to whether or not you wish to join our family?" she nodded, still smiling before speaking "Yes, I've decided to accept your offer, but I have a few requests, you can refuse them if you wish but I'd at least like you to consider them"... Marcus spoke this time "We're thrilled at your decision and of course we will listen to your requests..." Bella started explaining her three requests, the first was that her family, Victoria and Laurent be accepted into their coven too, the second was of course about a change in their diet... and her third and last request was that they tried to settle their arguements with the werewolves, and work with them instead of fighting them...
Bella was once again in the room facing Aro, Caius and Marcus. Caius stepped forward and said "Bella, we have decided to meet all of your requests..." Bella grinned and threw launched herself at the three stunned Volturi members pulling them all into tight hugs and repeatedly thanking them... when she calmed down they were all smiling at her happily...
The memories faded away and I looked to see Bella slowly open her eyes, then turning to me and my family waiting for our reactions... I cant believe so much has happened to my Bella, I should have been there to save her from all the pain, to protect her... I will never forgive myself for leaving her even if I live til the end of time... never...
(Bella's POV)
I left out some of the memories I didnt want to share with them yet, just showing them the main points. I didnt want them to feel bad for leaving me, for not being there... its not like it was their fault, I dont blame them, I never have and I never will. Even if they had been there bad stuff would have happened anyway, its the story of my life... like Edward said the night he told me what he was, I'm a magnet for trouble.
I was scared to open my eyes and see their reaction to what I had shown them so I opened them slowly and turned to the Cullens... their expressions ranged from shocked, to sad, to pity and of course there was Edward with his predictable guilt. I blocked all of their thoughts I couldn't bear to hear what was running through their minds right now. I did know that Edward was probably finding some way to blame himself though... I'll have to have a talk with him about that later. I mean sure bad things have happened to me, like losing Renee and Charlie and being kidnapped by a sadistic vampire who had his non-existent heart set on me being his mate but my life has turned out okay... all of those bad things that happened led me to good things, like becoming a vampire, I consider that a good thing even if Edward doesnt, and if I was never kidnapped I wouldnt have met my best friends or joined the Volturi and I wouldnt have the amazing family I have now. I smiled at that before Alice's voice brought me out of my thoughts and back to reality.
She looked at me her eye's filled with sadness and her voice was too when she said "Charlie... I'm so sorry Bella, so so sorry". I gave her a small smile and said "Its okay Alice, its all okay now".
We all sat in silence for after that, the Cullens taking in everything that happened, Aro, Caius, Marcus, Jane, Victoria and Laurent giving them time to do so and me and my two best friends trying the bury the memories that we'd just relived.
