Jerry stared out of the window, watching as Elaine scrambled to get into her car.

"What was that all about?"

Startled, Jerry turned around to find George peering into his refrigerator.

"What was what all about?"

"What do you mean what?" George retorted.

Jerry rolled his eyes "Exactly that. What? Meaning, 'I have no idea what you're talking about'."

"I just ran into Elaine in the hallway."

"Yeah, and?"
"And it looked like she'd been crying." George said.

"Crying? Wow." Jerry said. "I knew something was wrong, but..."

"Wait... you're telling me that this is your doing?" George asked.

"Why would you say a thing like that?"

George shrugged. "Well, she was coming out of your apartment. You tell me."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Jerry, I wasn't born yesterday, although my parents treat me like I was. Did something happen between you two?"

Jerry sighed. "I'm not sure. She came over; soaking wet and she started to tell me something. I guess she forgot after I offered to dry her clothes. I didn't want her to get sick."

George grinned and punched Jerry in the forearm. "You son of a gun!"

"What?"

"I know what you were up to... asking her to take off her clothes! I knew you could do it!"

"It wasn't like that!" Jerry yelled.

"She seemed different... upset. I know she wanted to tell me something but then she started acting kind of weird, like she was afraid of me. I even found her favorite movie on television."

"Wait... Stop... Back up..." George said using his hands for effect as though he were guiding a car that was backing into a parking space.

"What?"

"You watched a girlie movie?"

"A what?"

"A girlie movie! My mother watches that stuff! You know, one of those sappy, disgusting movies where the

characters are always kissing and telling each other how in love they are. Makes me sick!" George said,

shuddering at the thought.

"And you wonder why women don't find you romantic!" Jerry said.

"Take it from me, George Costanza... Romance has no place in a relationship."

Jerry looked at his friend in bewilderment. "Will you listen to yourself? Romance has no place in a relationship.

Don't you know anything about women?"

George hesitated before answering. "Well, frankly... no."

"Women love that romantic stuff. They live for it; the flowers, candlelight dinners... It's the only way to make

sure that you'll end up in the bedroom at the end of the night."

George looked at Jerry in surprise. "Really?"

"Of course. I thought you of all people would know that."

"And where did you get this information?"

Jerry's face reddened. "I just know, okay?"

George grinned slyly. "You've been watching that dating channel, haven't you?"

"No! Of course not!" Jerry answered a bit too quickly.

George shook his finger at Jerry and laughed. "I knew it! You can't fool me. I can see it on your face."

"All right! All right! I admit it, I looked a few times!" Jerry said, hating the admission. "But don't tell anyone okay?"

"Who am I gonna tell?"

"Well, Kramer for one; Or worse, Newman."

"Don't worry. I won't tell. Believe me, I won't tell." George said.

Jerry grinned. "You've watched it too, haven't you?"

"Yeah." George said sheepishly.

"I thought so."

"So what are you gonna do about Elaine?"

"I don't know. You think I should go over there and apologize?" Jerry asked

"Sure, why not? What harm could it do?" George replied.

Jerry sighed. "I must be losing it, asking for advice on women from you."

"Elaine's not a woman. She's just... Elaine."

That's what you think, George...