Merry Christmas to all. Here's my gift that I hope you'll enjoy—and, by all means, re-gift it!
As always, all feedback is appreciated…And feel free to find me at: "timewarped dot net," my new website in progress.
"Wardrobe Malfunction of Epic Proportions"
Armed with a dangerous pout and a deadly modified man-suit, Rachel was the embodiment of a lethal weapon, ready to fire on one unsuspecting bad-boy rebel. She strutted her stuff into homeroom, but her face immediately fell when she saw Puck was nowhere to be seen. She should've known.
Her homeroom teacher, lately referred to as "Mad-Eye Moody," had walked into the cafeteria two months ago, right into the line of fire. She was hit with a high-flying spit ball, that was rumored to have been launched from Puck's straw. Nothing had ever been proven, of course. But just the same, it seemed Puck had decided to ditch class as often as he could, at least until Mrs. Moody's eye infection had cleared.
So now, Rachel would have to go the whole day dressed like James Bond, and feeling so awkward in her siren suit. How she longed for one of her comfy knit sweaters from Filene's Bargain Basement. It would have gone a long way to erasing the sinking feeling that this day was about to get worse.
She was right. As Rachel made her way to her desk, one of her dependable square heels cracked and a wobbly ankle gave way. As she went down, she caught a glimpse of Finn with this pitying look of horror stamped on his features, and Kara—who was practically in his lap—cackling at her.
Rising off the floor, a button that had the vital job of keeping Rachel's ill-fitting, polka dot push-up bra hidden from view, popped off her plunging shirt, and the entire class caught a quick glimpse of the girls behind the curtain. This was a wardrobe malfunction of epic proportions.
Finn's athletic reflexes kicked into gear, before any videos could be taken, and he covered her quickly with his girlfriend's hoodie.
"Hey, that's my jacket!" Kara squeeled.
"She'll give it back to you later," Finn admonished.
"Forget it. She can keep it. There isn't enough soap in the world that could wash off HER koodies."
"Thanks," Rachel whispered to Finn, as she stared up into those sweet, familiar eyes. It was hard for her to contain the glee that was bubbling up inside her. He did still care, she thought.
He then said more harshly than the situation warranted, "What were you thinking? You look ridiculous! Are you purposely trying to embarrass me, Rachel?"
"How am I embarrassing you?"
"Come on, we went out. That means everything you do reflects on me. All I'm asking is for you to try and be a little more cool, all right? Life's hard enough."
Okay, maybe winning Finn back was going to take more work than she'd first realized. But somewhere, buried deep below the shame, she knew he still had feelings for her and he was still her hero.
Rachel looked over Finn's shoulder and saw the witch's satisfied smile, larger than life, and she could feel the heat of embarrassment rising to her face. But that wasn't the worst of it.
Moody shot Rachel an evil eye, and marched her straight into Principal Figgins' office. But before they exited, Rachel gripped her open shirt tightly in one hand and threw Kara's jacket back at her with the other, with a force that nearly took off her red head in the process. It was now Rachel's turn to smile.
Once inside the lion's den, Principal Figgins pointed her toward his hot-seat. "This is a new direction even for you, Miss Berry. What's this all about?"
She knew her shirt was revealing, but frankly she didn't see what all the fuss was about. Her assets were nothing compared to some others, like say a Santana or a Brittany.
"I'm experimenting with my look," she lied. "This school doesn't deter self expression, does it?"
"This is not self expression, young lady. This is…"
"Moral degradation at its worst, Principal Figgins." Coach Sylvester, who was never at a loss for words, stood in the doorway with her prisoner in tow. It was Puck.
"I caught him loitering in my office," she explained.
"You said I could ditch homeroom, as long as I helped you," he defended.
"That's a lie…And I'll swear to it in open court. I merely suggested I was in great need of a temporary slave, as Becky has recently come down with the dreaded kissing disease: Mononucleosis."
"How on earth did she get that?" Figgins asked.
"You're looking at the reason right here," Sue accused. "I caught those two smooching in my office only yesterday."
"Mr. Puckerman, explain yourself," Figgins ordered.
Rachel was incredulous.
"Fine, I kissed her," Puck said, digging his hands into his front pockets. "But only because she asked me to. I didn't enjoy it or anything."
"Then why did you do it, Noah?' Figgins asked.
Puck shrugged. "She said all her life, she's never been kissed by a boy, and that she never would be. You should've seen her sad little face."
"I see," Figgins answered, somewhat sympathetically.
Rachel had to admit she was touched by the gesture as well.
"With all due respect, Principal Figgins', I don't understand what you can see. Puck has soiled that young lady. He's taken her innocence and he needs to be punished," Sylvester screamed.
"Did you know, Mr. Puckerman, that you had Mono at the time?" Figgins asked.
"I don't have the kissing disease or any other disease, Principal Figgins. I make it a point to protect myself, Sir, at all times."
All eyebrows raised at what seemed like such an obvious lie.
"… Except, of course, that one time," he admitted. "But I learned my lesson. I won't be getting any more girls pregnant, I promise."
"That's good enough for me. Report to your homeroom, Mr. Puckerman," Figgins declared. "And no more ditching class."
"Yes Sir," Puck agreed, but he seemed reluctant to leave, and hovered in the doorway. The entire time he had been there, he couldn't take his eyes off of Rachel. Of course, half naked girls had always been a draw for him, he had to admit. But still, this one in particular, had him lingering longer than he should have.
Rachel couldn't miss those eyes that were boring into her cleavage. And, if truth be told, there was something so dangerous about them, not to mention inviting. She knew he'd just promised never to get another girl pregnant, but she couldn't help but wonder whether that meant he was going to stop trying. Rachel dismissed the improper thought, but what she couldn't erase was the surprising attraction that went along with it.
"See you at Glee, Rachel," he said, in a voice that slid seductively under the radar.
"Yeah, later. There's something important I need to discuss with you. If you have time," she added.
"I always make time for Jew Bond," he answered. And as he strode confidently out of Figgins' office, there was a devilish smirk on his face that not even Puck was aware of.
