A Whiter Shade of Pale

Chapter 1

3 months later…

Kurt was strumming his pencil hard against the side of the table. Head in hand, eyes blank staring out into space. He was unable to focus on his load of homework because of the thoughts swirling around inside his head.

Blaine was avoiding him.

There was no other logical explanation and Kurt had finally accepted the answer after trying to come up with many other plausible explanations and failing as to why the boy was giving him short-answered texts, not responding to his calls or voicemails, and wouldn't even answer the door the one time Kurt brought himself to knock gently on Room 217.

He knew he was in there. Kurt had paused a moment before tapping his knuckles to the door and heard some sort mumbled chatter, but he assumed Charlie was in there as well since half of the room did belong to him. What bothered Kurt was the fact that the mumbling stopped immediately after he stopped knocking and after a few moments passing he heard Blaine's soft voice in a hushed whisper

"Do you… think that it's him…?" There was a sort of edge to his voice and if Kurt didn't immediately clear the thought from his head for his own sanity he would have known it was dread.

"It has to be, dude. Who else would it be?" Came Charlie's hushed answer.

"Hugh?" Blaine said hopefully. Kurt's stomach churned and took a step back. Hugh was their other gay friend. But, Blaine never spoke of him as more than a friend, and Blaine always was flirting with Kurt… hadn't he? Kurt quickly ran over previous interactions with Blaine. The first encounter with the hand holding, the time when Blaine gave Kurt his picture during lunch after confronting Karofsky ("in case you ever feel alone, remember I'm always there." Blaine had said), The night at Rent when their hands had worked their way to each other yet again with the fingers intertwined and staying that way, only after nearly being separated from each other in the crowd exiting the theater, the stunned look of happiness and hope when he told Blaine he was transferring to Dalton and the way he hugged Kurt for a very long time afterwards, and then, Baby it's Cold Outside? There wasn't a doubt in Kurt's head that Blaine hadn't been flirting, but was it a rouse? Was Blaine just this giant tease? Or even worse, and Kurt had to swallow down bile at the thought of this, but was Blaine just using Kurt as a pawn to make Hugh jealous? It wasn't an uncommon tactic in the game that was love, but Kurt knew he simply couldn't handle it if the Queen had been playing him like a Pawn in order to get to the Knight.

During this tumultuous thought process going on inside Kurt's head there had been more mumbling from inside 217 and the door opened just as Kurt's eyes were misting over.

"Hey Kurt." It was Blaine who looked stony faced and played with his hands giving him the appearance of being rather jittery. But, Kurt failed to notice this fact as he gazed into the amber eyes of the boy he once told his teacher he loved. That thought came back to him for a second and now he just felt embarrassment at the thought of confessing his love for Blaine to Mr. Shue of all people.

Kurt's face had turned a slight shade of red and his mouth was agape for a second as he slowly remembered the English language.

"H-hey…" he finally choked out. Smooth Hummel you are so smooth. He thought.

"Hey." Blaine said softly, but made no effort to contribute to the conversation or to apologize for his behavior.

A long silence passed. Kurt had no clue what to say or where to start. He could accuse him of his suspicions about Hugh, ask some dumb question, or just do as he was already and stand there like a dumbass.

He noticed Blaine looking awkwardly back into the room where Kurt could here Charlie typing on a keyboard.

Blaine looked back at Kurt anxiously and began to ease his way slowly back into the room as if moving so slow would blind him completely from Kurt's vision and he could just disappear without anything else happening.

"So I'll see you around?" Kurt said without hope or any intention of seeing Blaine around ever. His gaze was now upon the floorboards, as he could no longer look at Blaine without feeling the overwhelming urge to cry or to hit him directly in that perfect face of his.

"Sure thing." Blaine said softly his voice wrought with some emotion that was strained underneath his reserved control and then he shut the door gently and Kurt was left alone in the hallway.

Kurt made it all the way back to him dorm and shut the door gently before throwing his bag on the floor with so much force the clasp broke and his books came tumbling out and its contents were spilled everywhere. In his rage he stomped on the bag and heard his pencils snap and pages tear.

"DUDE!" Kurt stopped immediately at the sound of his roommate, Henry's, voice. He blushed fully his face already flustered from exertion. He had never felt so ashamed. He had lost complete control in front of somebody else and broke the poise that he always carried himself with.

He was even more ashamed that he had reduced to this state by a boy of all things.

Trying to regain some of his composure he straightened up and brushed himself off and buttoned his blazer. "Oh hello Henry, I didn't see you there." As if nothing had happened.

"Kurt…" he said slowly not leaving the safety of his bed but leaning forward ever so slightly scared that Kurt was going to start flinging stuff around the room. "Are you okay?"

Kurt took a deep breath and averted his eyes back down to the crumpled bag in shame before muttering, "No, and to be honest I'm starting to think I won't ever be." With that he left the room not wanting to further unsettle his roommate with the tears that finally broke the second the door shut behind him.

He didn't know where to go. Since leaving McKinley he no longer had his own privacy. He didn't have his own room, he couldn't leave to go back to Lima he wasn't going to worry his friends back home because after all he was supposed to be happy at Dalton, and he couldn't go anywhere without the fear of someone walking into him and he just couldn't face it down if everybody in the school knew that he was having an emotional break down in the middle of the hallway in Kappa Hall. The Dalton boys were a bunch of gossipers and word would spread like wildfire.

Blaine would hear about it.

Thinking that thought immediately forced Kurt to dry it up some and regain his composure. He would not give Blaine the satisfaction of knowing he was crying over him.

Kurt once again picked himself up and forced himself to regain that poise that he so carefully and artfully carried about him. He left his face void of any emotion completely and headed towards the senior commons to have a moment to regain himself completely before coming back to his room that was blatantly vacant of Henry and would be until the next afternoon after classes. Kurt used that time to cry freely using his pillow as a sponge to soak up his tears. He cried until he could cry no more and then passed out after thanking Henry in his head for this brief moment of complete privacy.

And now it was two days later and still no sign of Blaine.

Kurt shut the book that he had stared blankly at for an hour and left the library headed for his room. Everything returned to normal after that first night and Henry didn't even ask about what had set Kurt off. In all honesty he probably didn't want to hear it as much as Kurt wanted to talk about it.

From the other side of the room five young men dressed in navy and red watched as the countertenor made his way out of the library and outside to head towards where the dorms were.

"Exactly how mad did you say he was, Henry?" asked Charlie raising an eyebrow as he watched Kurt through the window.

"Absolutely livid." Henry tore his gaze away from the glass and faced Charlie, Hugh, David, and Wes who all had slightly concerned looks on their faces. "I was afraid he might throw something at me." He added on.

"Blaine better know what he's doing," Hugh mumbled flipping through Sports Illustrated, "because he is running out of time."

"What makes you think that?" Wes's voice peaked up at the end. He was thinking about what that could mean for the Warblers. If they lost the first countertenor they had in years they would be royally screwed for Regionals.

"Everybody calm down." Said David, ever the voice of reason. "Blaine does know what he's doing, he does know that his time is running out, and he does know that Kurt is furious at him."

"What he doesn't know," Charlie interrupted him, "is if it'll make up for the way he's been acting this past week and a half."

The boys nodded in agreement and left the conversation there. They were just going to have to see how things ended up tomorrow and hope for the best because what Blaine was doing could either go very wrong or very right in many ways.

Kurt was about to open the door to room 324 when his eyes caught the sticky note on the door and his heart plummeted down into his stomach where it sank like the Titanic.

Kurt,

I know these past couple of days have been rough but please let me explain. Meet me in the choir room and you'll understand.

Please?

Blaine

Kurt stood still staring at the note, staring at the word 'please' to be exact. Did he go, run directly to the boy who had been running away from him for days now? Did he have to stand there and stomach it as Blaine told him he was done being his 'mentor' and that he really had feelings for someone like Hugh. Or, did Kurt ignore him all together and miss the one chance to tell Blaine off to his face? To call him out and make him fess up everything? To make him feel like the scum of the Earth?

Kurt pivoted on his heel and headed down to the choir room quickly bracing himself for what he knew was to come but also at the same time carefully choosing his words so that he would come off looking like the Queen of Sheba while Blaine simply stood there dumbfounded watching the best damn thing to ever happen to him walk away.

And Kurt actually felt good about his decision. To be frank he was tired of the little dance him and Blaine did around each other. His thoughts were running amuck and so were his fantasies. He came to Dalton to make his life easier; instead he had just found more drama to get wrapped up in.

Kurt found himself outside the large wooden doors that led into the choir room that the Warbler used for practice and without a pause this time Kurt marched right into the room ready to end it with Blaine once and for and get on with his life. If anything his situation had taught him was that he was strong and did not deserve to get pushed around.

Courage. He couldn't stop the word from passing through his mind. It was like it was programmed into his brain and he would have to work on erasing it the second the choir room's doors shut behind him.

Blaine looked up and saw the furious boy heading up to meet him at the piano.

Oh damn it he is really mad. Blaine thought quickly and hurried to stand just as Kurt reached the piano with balled fists.

"Kurt…" Blaine was barely able to get out before Kurt ran off on a rage and hormone induced tirade.

"Now look her, mister! I do not deserve to be pushed around and played like some goddamn pawn in whatever twisted game you have going on here! I am SICK of being used by everyone around me, and I thought I could fucking TRUST you! You lead me on with those freaking eyes of yours and then you just toss me aside? No! I'm done with your twisted love games or whatever! You make me think you're my friend and then you have to go and make me like you, only to be tossed to the side like some dish rag! I could understand if the flirting stopped, whatever, but then you throw away our friendship! You're such a-…a dick! God FUCK YOU BLAINE, JUST FUCK YOU!"

Kurt was breathing heavily and had to catch his breath. He wanted to be a bit more poised, but as always that came crumbling whenever he was around Blaine. He also didn't care that he had basically just gone and confessed all his feelings for the boy screaming them right to his face. He leaned back, straightened his bangs and murmured, "Now if you'll excuse I'm going to move on with my life."

"Kurt!" Blaine yelled from the piano bench where he had fallen back during the boy's rage. The smaller boy did not stop walking and then Blaine yelled, "KURT!" and he stopped walking. It was Blaine's turn to speak now.

"Did you really mean all that?" he said, eyes on the floor.

"What?" he heard from far away, and then a few steps across the linoleum and Kurt was standing right in front of him again. "Of course I meant it!"

"E-e….even the part about… liking me?" Blaine raised his eyes to meet the piercing icy stare of Kurt's blues and saw the blush that tinged his already red cheeks even redder.

"Yes." Was the only answer Kurt supplied. His feet seemed glued he wanted to run away from this place as fast as he could, but Blaine seemed to want to make him re-live this misery over again.

"It's not what you think Kurt." Blaine said, eyes pleading, voice growing stronger, Kurt even wanted to say more… hopeful?

"Then what the hell is it Blaine?" Kurt just was exasperated now. All the wind knocked out of him. All the fire of rage and frustration gone.

"I wasn't trying to push you away. But, I was avoiding you." Kurt could have prepared for this moment as much as he wanted but still the pain that ripped through his stomach stung so badly and he felt as if his heart was encased in ice for a moment. He tried to keep his face void of any emotion but Blaine could see that flicker of pain shoot through those eyes. A moment of vulnerability in Kurt and Blaine wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull him into his arms, but instead he hurried to explain before Kurt could even think about crying.

"Only because I'm such a terrible liar Kurt."

Then Kurt looked up and faced him full on for the first time since he was screaming.

"W-what…?" he stammered and Blaine stood up.

"I've been planning something special for you and I had to keep it a secret because I really wanted to surprise you." Blaine's voice was so soft as he looked at Kurt endearingly, pleading with his eyes, beginning him to understand. "I didn't realize how upset you'd get or even that you might come up with some crazy idea like me toying with you. I would never do that." Then he slowly took both of Kurt's hands into his own and squeezed them gently with each word. "I am so sorry for making you feel like that, Kurt. You can trust me."

Kurt was looking down at their intertwined hands, but looked up and met Blaine's amber antique eyes. "Promise?" he was barely able to get his voice above a whisper and had to work on not making it shake at the end.

"I swear." Blaine said and pulled Kurt in for a hug gently running soothing strokes up and down the smaller one's back as they held on to each other for a sweet moment.

"So…" Kurt said with a laugh wiping a stray tear that had escaped from his eye. "What's my surprise?" he bounced on the balls of his feet and clasped his hands feeling just like his old self, nothing but relief and happiness flooding through him. He was a little anxious that Blaine hadn't addressed the fact that Kurt had announced his feelings, but Blaine hadn't laughed in his face or ran in the other direction so he was willing to let it go… for now.

Blaine's mega-watt smile was turned fully on and he sat Kurt down on the piano bench.

"Wait right here… and don't move." Blaine squeezed his shoulders and left the boy sitting as he took the small stage that occupied the end of the room.

Kurt sat confused for a moment looking at Blaine down center stage, but took the chance to admire the lead Warbler whose eyes were shining in anticipation and smile was as bright as the lights shining on it. His hair was not so slicked back and a few loose curls bounced in his face in the heat of the lights.

"Hit it!" he yelled.

And then a pop hip/hoppy beat filled up the entire room and Kurt instantly recognized the melody. He was watching Blaine in disbelief as the first few lines.

What's somebody like you doing in a place like this?

Say, did you come alone or did you bring all your friends?

Say, what's your name, what you drinkin', I think I know what you're thinking.

Baby, what's your sign, tell me yours I tell you mine

Say, what's somebody like you doing in a place like this?

1,2,3, come on!

And then the whole McKinley High New Directions Glee Club burst out from the wings behind Blaine. Kurt nearly fell off the bench at the sight of his friends jumping into the chorus with Blaine. Mike Chang and Brittany dancing around with jumpy choreography. Mercedes, Quinn, Rachel, and Santana all in a trio singing harmonies with Puck, Finn, Sam, and Artie doing the same on the opposite side of the stage. Both groups crossed and paired up with each other dancing simpler choreography than what Mike and Brittany were doing.

Kurt was beaming and in utter awe. He watched his friends but his eyes mainly settled in wonder at the curly-haired boy singing to him. The lights were casting a glow around him. Kurt was reminded for a moment when he first met Blaine and how he felt when he sung Teenage Dream to him. He had never thought there would be a more magical and transcendent moment in his life, but this was coming pretty damn close.

Then, thoroughly surprised that Rachel didn't throw her off the stage, Mercedes came forward and began singing the Katy Perry part of the song putting her own flair on it. Kurt was bouncing in his seat as his best friend worked the stage.

However, when they go to one line, Mercedes spun Blaine under her arm and he stepped forward looking directly at Kurt sang

I'm flirting with my eyes, wanna leave with you tonight

Mercedes took over the rest of the vocals for the part, but Kurt felt like he was having heart failure and he was sure his heart actually stopped when Blaine gave a little wink at the end of the line.

Hands gripping his seat Kurt fought to pay attention to the performance as his thoughts ran away with fantasies of what would happen if Blaine really did leave with him tonight.

The performance ended and Kurt ran up onstage to hug his friends and was engulfed by all of them at once. He had missed them so much. This was exactly what he needed.

When they broke apart he had so many questions that he just stammered over to the basics. "H-h… How?" he asked gesturing wildly to them.

"It was Blaine's idea. He put together the music, and we did the choreography and then worked together over Skype. It was hard to figure out at first without having each other there to perform with but we figured it out." Said Quinn with a radiant smile from under Sam's arm.

"It was what I was hiding from you when you knocked on the door. We muted the call so you wouldn't hear, but I didn't want you to see who I was talking to." Blaine said clearing up another question Kurt had. Their hands had also found their way into each other again the action becoming almost second thought between the pair.

"Does Mr. Shue know?"

"No, we did this on our own time." Puck answered. "Would have been singing you Sweet Child O' Mine if he was here."

Kurt just laughed and eventually everyone got to sitting around on stage and talking. Kurt was filling in the girls, save Rachel, and Sam and Finn about life at Dalton and they talked about McKinley and life there for a bit. Blaine was in heated discussion with Rachel about what tactics would be good to take down Vocal Adrenaline and the boys contributed with ideas animatedly.

It was getting late though and everybody was starting to get hungry so it was decided a group trip to IHOP was needed. As they were about to leave though Blaine held Kurt back from the rest of the group.

"I'm gonna stay here and finish up my work, but you go and have fun with your friends and catch up."

"Okay. Blaine, thank you for this. You have no idea how much it means to me. It was… exactly what I needed."

"I thought you would like it." A blush that didn't go unnoticed by Kurt colored his cheeks.

And then Kurt, in a brief moment of careless spontaneity, leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "I loved it." He smiled wide.

Blaine was dumbfounded for a moment but then leaned in and gave Kurt his own kiss on the cheek "Go have fun." And with a final squeeze of hands Kurt turned toward where Puck was blaring on the horn and shouting "GET A ROOM!" at them. Kurt just laughed and waved at Blaine as he got in the car and drove off Blaine.

Blaine was buzzing. His happiness bouncing off around inside him, filling his chest and making him want to dance, even though he was horrific at it. He didn't know what to do at first. He wanted to text the guys, wanted to write a new song, wanted to put that Timbaland/Katy Perry song on repeat forever.

But, then it hit him and he knew exactly what he had to do. So with a turn he walked back to Kappa Hall and headed straight for room 324.

When Kurt got back to his room he noticed the sticky note immediately this time

Kurt,

I do believe it's time I take you out and show you around.

Pick the place and the time and we'll make a date out of it.

Blaine

Henry had pretty much assumed things had gone well between Kurt and Blaine but his thoughts were affirmed when he heard Kurt's squeals of joy at the note Blaine had left for him earlier.