Yay, it's finally up. . . . .Sorry, I have nothing else to say.
P.S. Thanks for the reviews and for favoriting this story.
O. (Yes this smiley is trying it's hardest to look like it's winking)
Chapter 3: Monsters
Yuki sat on the tallest hill that looked over the summer house and the small dirt road between them. With a deep breath he raised his head towards the sky and let the gentle breeze run through his hair. Everything felt so normal, which had been unusual for the Sohma family for generations. Even though it had been a while since Yuki had carried that awful burden, he still got excited just thinking about how normal the day was going to be.
"Are you alright?" Tohru asked from beside him.
Yuki glanced at Tohru, whom was staring at him with curiosity; her tan summer skin making her soft yellow dress gleam naturally between the light bronze and the sunlight.
He smiled benevolently.
"I'm fine, Miss Honda."
"Then why do you look so sad?"
Yuki shook his head and sighed, knowing that he couldn't shake Tohru off that easily.
"Do you ever feel like life has given you all it has to offer?" he asked, "Like it's going to stop surprising you one day."
Tohru tilted her head slightly in confusion. This was their first reunion since they all split up six months ago and he was already skipping passed the light hearted conversations.
"I hope it never does. I love surprises, they make life so much more enjoyable," she said cheerfully.
"Just depends on if the surprise is good or bad," Kyo voice chimed in from the other side of Yuki.
Yuki glanced over at Kyo whom was lying on his back, his eyes closed as he took in the comfort of the warm air.
"Wait to be optimistic,"
"You know I always am," Kyo answered.
Yuki chuckled lightly under his breath. It was strange how two people who had been natural enemies since birth were now sitting next to each other, engaging in a conversation with maturity.
"Well, even if it's bad. It doesn't matter as long as those you care about are around you. Through the good and the bad, it all works out in the end," Tohru answered.
Yuki looked back at Tohru.
" Yes, I suppose so,"
Yuki awoke from his dream when he felt the warm morning sun seep through the window pane and shine upon his pale features. He sat up quickly, noticing that he had fallen asleep on the couch last night while waiting for Kisa and Tohru to finish stitching up an old relationship. He couldn't remember much after that. Did he even eat anything last night? On that thought, Yuki stood from the couch and walked into the kitchen in search of food. While he stood in the middle of the tile floor he glanced over at the clock and realized it was almost ten. He sighed, forgetting that he had to check on Tohru before it got too late in the day. He checked on her every morning, because Tohru's morning always determined how smoothly the rest of the day would go.
Yuki walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway. He paused at Tohru's closed bedroom door. It was strange that it was closed, because since Tohru had reappeared; Yuki refused to let her be completely alone. Tohru knew of his worries and sacrificed her privacy for his comfort. Without knocking, Yuki opened the door only to see Tohru cradling sleeping Kisa in her arms as she watched over her with tired eyes. Just the look of her features told Yuki of her lack of sleep. The dark circles around her eyes, the way her hair laid perfectly as if it hadn't been touched the fabric of her pillow.
"Tohru?" Yuki asked cautiously.
Tohru faced Yuki and began to breathe heavily as if she had just been woken up suddenly.
"Hmmmm. . . "she answered.
" Have you been awake this whole time?"
Tohru nodded, knowing that lying wasn't the best thing to do to Yuki right now.
"Why would you do that?" He asked sternly as he made his way further into the room.
"I-"
Tohru paused and bowed her head in shame.
"Yes?"
"I'm. . . a-afri. . . . I'm afraid to go to sleep," she admitted.
Yuki stared at her in disbelief.
"Why is that?"
" I- I . . . Don't have very nice dr-. . .dreams. They're scary dreams, that remind me of the past,"
Yuki's heart felt like it was going to burst at the end of Tohru's words. It pained him deeply hearing her say that she couldn't have any peace. . . not even in her sleep. He wished to give her his condolences, but he couldn't find the words to say. He could remember when memories haunted his dreams. Sleep never comes easy when you're reliving your hardships.
Yuki sighed and looked over at Kisa's things that were left in the corner of the room. He was sort of upset with Kisa, he told her that she could only be visit for an hour or two then she would have to leave to give Tohru some rest.
He walked over to Kisa's stuff and began to gather it.
"Wake up, Kisa. It's time for her to go home," he demanded.
"No," Tohru answered as if she was afraid to let go of Kisa. She placed her hand over her mouth realizing that she had practically screamed it at him.
"I told her to stay. . . .I. . . .I couldn't be alone last night. . . I didn't want to spend one more night alone."
Yuki stared into Tohru's glistening blue orbs. She stood perfectly still, but her hands were trembling.
"Why are you afraid?" he asked, curious to see where his questions would take him.
Tohru shook her head and bowed again.
"You're asking for something I can't give you," Tohru mumbled.
Yuki took a deep breath in sheer frustration, not at Tohru, but at himself for not being able to fix anything. Even if it's bad. It doesn't matter as long as those you care about are around you ,remembering those words made him feel calmer. Just because he felt that at this moment that was all he could do; care and be around when she needed it most.
"Fine, she can stay until she wakes up, but you do have to get some rest."
Tohru nodded and with that Yuki walked out of the room and continued into the kitchen to get something less agitating on his mind.
Yuki paused, placing his hands on the counter for support. What am I doing? , he thought, she's in there depriving herself of sleep and I'm letting her do it. Yuki combed his fingers through his silver hair in frustration with himself. He was truly at a loss. How do you make someone fall asleep? How do you stop someone from getting nightmares? The only way he could possibly relieve any of that bottled up emotion is if someone managed to get it out of her. Yuki looked over at the phone that was placed so conveniently in front of him. He picked up the phone and began to dial the number of a person he knew could help.
Remember the day you first met Kazuma. . . . .The day he tore off my bracelet and I turned into my third form. I know it seems like ancient history to you by now, but it feels like five minutes ago to me. It's so vividly imprinted into my brain that I still remember that feeling I had when you looked at me with that look. You looked so horrified, almost to the point of being disgusted. And just so you wouldn't have to look at me anymore, I ran away. I wanted to leave everything behind in that one moment in hopes that you would forget about me. . . .But you ran after me. You begged for me to come home and I tried to hurt you. I tried really hard to make you hate me, but you're so hard to mend that you came back and you held onto me no matter how loud I yelled or how hard I fought. You admitted that you were afraid of me, but you loved me anyway. You told me that you wanted to be my friend, like you would miss me if I was gone. . . . .The only person who would miss me. . . . I think I fell in love with you then. Maybe I had always loved you, but I think that's when it all became clear. Because all I wanted to do after that was love you, I wanted to embrace you, and hold you. . . But I was still a monster; I couldn't have had you if I tried. . . .And now even after the curse has been broken, I still can't have you. But this time there's no curse, there's no stupid fucking rule that says I can't hug you. I don't know what it is, but there's something inside of me; that says I can't have you, that you'll never be mine and I'm just going to have to suck it up. Let me tell you it's becoming really difficult. Even though I'm free to walk around like a normal human being; I feel like I'm locked in that room . . . That room that cages the monster that disgusts you so much . . . But you still want me to come back. You still want to be my friend. And this time. . . .It's not that I don't want to come back. I just don't know how to look at you without having that same ache in my body. That same one that keeps me awake at night. I know you would except it, but I have a feeling that's what got us here in the first place.
Kyo slammed one of his hands against the brick of the house that Tohru and Yuki were staying in, the same one they spent their high school years in. He placed his other hand against his chest and fought the nausea that was filling his body as he forced himself to breathe slowly. His coughing then became a helpless repetition of wheezing.
God. Not this again, he thought as he kneeled to the ground. Lately, these attacks were becoming more frequent, and there was no concrete explanation for them. Of course, Kyo never went to a doctor to get any opinions, even though Kazuma insisted on it.
But his ongoing "illness" as Kazuma would call it, wasn't what Kyo was interested in at the moment. What he wanted was to come home so he could claim his room again. He didn't care if Yuki and Tohru were there; he wasn't planning on speaking to either of them. He just wanted to be in his room with all of his belongings since it was getting difficult to stay in Kazuma's guest room without any access to his own things. Kyo realized it would be a pain in the ass living with the two most unstable people on the planet, but he could tough it out just until he got enough money to get a new place. The rent on this one was swallowing up so much of his money that he couldn't possibly go anywhere without getting a second job. He could live here a little longer if neither Yuki nor Tohru uttered a word to him. Despite his confidence in coming back, the sheer sight of that house caused him to panic.
With weak knees, Kyo forced himself to stand. He couldn't let the fear of seeing Tohru keep him from entering the house that he was paying for. That would be ridiculous; with that thought running through his veins he found the courage to continue. Without any hesitation he entered the front door confidently and took off his shoes at the entrance. He peered down the hallway, hearing a distant voice in the kitchen. He took careful steps towards the narrow hallway, in hopes that he was quiet enough. He passed Tohru's room and glanced through the open door. Kisa?, he thought. Kyo was surprised to see her with Tohru, mostly because when Tohru arrived he told Yuki to keep it between the two of them and Hatori, so that she could get proper treatment before being subjected to anyone. When Kyo examined her from a distance, he could tell that she wasn't any better than she was when she appeared in this house just a week ago.
"I know I should have told you sooner, but she hasn't been well and I didn't think it was safe to subject her to people just yet. Yes, Arisa-san, I know I made a mistake," Yuki explained.
Arisa?, Kyo thought, even more frustrated than before. He took a couple more steps down the hallway.
"Okay, Thank you Arisa- san," he finished as he hung up the phone.
Kyo began to panic; hearing the sound of Yuki's footsteps coming closer to the hallway made him want to turn and run the other way. But there was no way he would get to the door fast enough.
Yuki came around the corner and into the hallway. He jumped, startled finding Kyo staring at him with eyes that were screaming ' I didn't do it' at him.
"Why the hell are you here?" he asked.
" I live here," Kyo answered.
" I thought you were moving back in with Kazuma?"
" I can't, not enough room."
Yuki gave Kyo a look of disgust realizing that there was more to Kyo's current actions then he was willing to admit.
"Well, since you're here I guess you can help the rest of us coach Tohru into remembering some things."
"You mean force her to remember her kidnapping," Kyo growled.
" You want her to relive everything that had just happened to her just so you can get your answers,"
"It's not that simple. . . .Not that I would expect someone like you to understand," Yuki answered defensively. He rolled his eyes at Kyo, not wanting to have to explain how crucial this meeting could be to Tohru's health. Yuki continued down the hallway towards Tohru's room.
" Do you really think that she needs to be going through that right now? Maybe she just needs to forget, let her heal before you start dissecting her," Kyo argued.
Yuki paused at Tohru's door and turned back to look at Kyo with eyes filled with rage, but a face that remained calm.
"You said you would make sure she was ready to see people before telling anyone. You practically promised me the day she came back," Kyo complained.
"Yeah, but you promised to stay by her side as long as she wanted you there," Yuki snapped. " And as you can see, some promises don't hold up."
"I don't want you to do this to her," Kyo begged.
" You haven't seen what I have. You haven't been around her long enough to make that call," Yuki said calmly, leaving Kyo at loss for words.
"I will allow you to stay out of this one, but you will not try to talk about Tohru's health when you know nothing about it."
Kyo glared at Yuki and shook his head in defiance.
"I don't need your permission," Kyo said through his teeth as he turned away from Yuki to head to his own room where he could have some peace and quiet.
Yuki continued into Tohru's room, finding Kisa sitting next to Tohru on her bed, looking like a morning flower blooming with the rising sun compared to ill looking Tohru. Kisa had her hand intertwined with Tohru's as she sat and stared blankly at the wall ahead. Kisa stared at Tohru as if she was waiting patiently for something to happen.
"Tohru," Yuki beckoned.
" Yes?" Tohru answered.
" How do you feel about talking to Hatori? You know about the last couple of months."
" I-I. . . " she answered with a tone of uncertainty.
" I promise it's to help you."
Tohru remained silent and kept her glare looking straight ahead.
" I promise it's for the best," he assured her.
Tohru's eyes closed instinctively as she mentally prepared herself for the oncoming pain that would come as the day went by. So far her head was hurting from the lack of sleep, her mouth was dry, and there was a constant chill hanging around her body. Though, she had to pretend like she felt fine, so no one would have to worry too much.
" I know it is," she answered. " I would be delighted to speak with Hatori."
Yuki gave Tohru a soft unseen smile and then glanced over at Kisa whom was still staring pitifully at Tohru. Yuki shuffled his feet slightly and cleared his throat so that his voice would sound stern enough to politely dismiss her.
" Kisa, I think it's time for you to head home," he suggested.
Kisa looked at him and nodded.
"Good bye Tohru-san."
Kisa untangled her fingers from Tohru's hand, got of the bed, grabbed her stuff, and headed to the front door where her shoes were placed just last night. Yuki waited silently, and heard the front door close very quietly. He looked at Tohru again not knowing what to do or say at this moment. He could comfort her, because he was aware of how nervous she was to go back into her memories and relive her misery. As Kyo had said it would be hard on her, but it needed to be done. The only way she would be able to go on living peacefully was if she laid her demons to rest.
Silently, Yuki walked over to Tohru's bed side. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead that caused her to flinch, but when he placed his hand on her back she leaned into him for comfort.
"Everything will be alright," he assured her.
" I know."
Hatori shifted uncomfortably in his chair that was placed in the center of the living room across from the couch where Tohru was sitting, staring down at the floor as if Hatori was laying there and looking up at her. Shigure, whom had decided to join Hatori on his adventure through Tohru's past experience, sat in a chair purposely placed behind Hatori and was being uncharacteristically quiet. His eyes staring at Tohru with a sort of seriousness that no one had really seen. Why he was there, he never really explained to either Hatori or Yuki.
Tohru's hair fell naturally and acted as a veil against her face as she hid her expression in shame. She clenched the fabric of her clean pants that clung to her skin as a pair of jeans should, but it had been so long since she had worn anything like them that she found herself uncomfortable and restricted.
" I see you're getting better," Hatori spoke in attempt to start the conversation.
Tohru glanced up at him briefly, but then looked back down at the floor.
" I suppose so."
Hatori proceeded to look at Yuki whom stood in the corner of the room. He continued by clearing his throat as if he was warning everyone around him that he was serious and would actually continue without any hesitations.
" What do you remember?" he asked, beginning their session.
Tohru turned her head as if she was trying to ignore Hatori, but knew that she had to answer in order to keep them happy.
" I. . . .I do not. . .remember anything," she answered.
Hatori sat up from his chair, slumping over to place his elbow on his knee and rest his chin on his fist.
"No one can just forget traumatic memories, Miss Honda. They can only resist them." He informed her.
" I. . . am not resisting them. . ."
Hatori took a deep breath and glanced at Yuki again. The boy shrugged and gestured for him to continue, not willing to give up hope after only a few seconds.
" Well, you may not remember, but your subconscious does. . . May I coach you into remembering?"
Tohru grew silent and then nodded.
Hatori glared at her, trying to figure out where he should start; if it was best to reach her physically or mentally.
"Miss Honda, I want you to locate the most obvious scars on your body," he began. "Around your arms, your legs-"
Tohru looked up at him in shock.
"I do not have any scars," she protested
Hatori chuckled under his breath.
" I believe you have forgotten who had examined you, Miss Honda."
Feeling defeated, Tohru bowed her head and slowly pulled her sleeve from her arm; revealing the scars that covered her skin from her wrist to her elbow. She traced two of her fingers over the scars placed closed to her wrist and followed them up her arms slowly. There was nothing, no memory to speak of. That was until she came over a structured pattern of scars that ran over the inner part of her arm. She took a deep breath and tightly closed her eyes trying to fight any thought that may come to mind.
Hatori, noticing her sudden reaction, looked up at Yuki again and nodded slightly.
"Is there something wrong, Miss Honda?" he asked as his eyes looked back at her.
But she currently wasn't listening to him. She was too lost in her own thoughts to even come back to reality.
"Trying to escape, huh?" the dark figure growled as he grabbed Tohru's wrist and threw her to the floor.
She cried softly as her body fell to the ground.
The man picked up his knife from the floor.
"How did you manage to steal this from my pocket?" he asked, chuckling as he kneeled next her shuddering form.
" Did you really think you could stab me with my own knife?" he teased as he leaned over her, placing his lips close to her ear.
" No prize of mine will behave in such a manner," he whispered.
Swiftly, he grabbed her arm and began to carve into her skin with the knife she had been trying to hurt him with. She screamed, and cried, knowing that no one could save her.
Tohru raised her arm and revealed the words carved into her skin to the men in front of her.
" He cut punishment into my arm for trying to escape," she admitted as tears came rolling down her cheeks.
" I tried to hurt him, but . . . .he threw me down and cut the word punishment in my arm, " she cried.
" Who did?" Hatori asked calmly.
Tohru stared ahead with her lip quivering as she trembled in silence. She shook her head frantically.
" Please tell me, Miss Honda. You can trust me."
Tohru, panicking, covered up her arms with her sleeve and wiped the tears from her cheek. She bit her bottom lip and shook her head again.
" I do not remember. . . . I do not want to remember, I just want the memories to go away," she whined.
Hatori stared at Tohru in disbelief and sat against the back of his chair. Shigure held his hand nonchalantly over his mouth as if he was trying to remain silent. He was perplexed by the whole thing, but didn't show an inch of that confusion in his expression. Yuki walked over to Tohru and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he sat down on the couch.
"It's okay," he assured her.
"She glared at Yuki, not being able to see him but was hoping that her tear filled eyes would show her desire to leave.
" May. . .I please. . . go back to my room? I would like to get some rest."
"Of course you can."
Yuki grabbed Tohru's hand and supported her as she walked towards her room. Within a few minutes Yuki shut the door to Tohru's room and came back out the living area.
"What do we do now?" Yuki asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"We give her time to recover, then we'll start this again. It was too early to start this." Hatori explained.
"But what if gets too late for us to start," Yuki urged. "This guy is still out there."
"How do you know it's just one guy?" Shigure finally asked. "It could be multiple people."
Yuki and Hatori looked back at Shigure in bewilderment.
"I suggest that if you want to catch whoever did this, stop looking to her for answers and look for the puzzle pieces yourself," Shigure suggested. " She's not willing to get revenge on anyone. She just wants to forget."
Kyo listened in on the whole conversation from the other room. At the beginning his feet were firmly placed on the floor, but as time went on he had to lean against the wall for support and fought back his urge to react to Tohru's story. Each she spoke drowned Kyo's heart in pity and crushed his lungs so it was difficult to breathe. He wanted to rescue her from her pain. Every time he heard anything about her kidnapping he prayed that someone would send him a time machine, so he could go back and prevent this horrible event. What have I done, he thought as he quietly went back to his room.
