I could hear heavy footsteps approaching me quickly. Something heavy slammed into my stomach. I couldn't breathe for a few moments. I opened my eyes to see Lisbon standing in front of me all happy and cheerful, rather pleased with herself for what she did.

"What the hell Lisbon that hurt?" I looked at her trying to find a reason for her little violent outburst.

"What?" Lisbon looked at me with mock surprise.

"Why did you throw a book at me?" I was starting to become angry.

"Read it and tell me what is wrong with it." She looked at me in a weird way that I could not understand. It was almost like she was scared.

"Why do you want me to read a book about kidnappers?" I asked staring at her intently looking for a response that would tell me why she went from being cheerful to being scared.

"This man we are dealing with wrote this book I want you to read it and tell me what you think about him."

"Fine but can you leave me alone?" Lisbon walked off rather quickly slamming her office door. The author was Ben Were he is a suspect in a kidnapping turned into a homicide that happened earlier this week. He targeted people who he thought to be unhappy or suicidal and kill them thus releasing their inner pain.

Throwing the book on the floor I got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. I was so tired I couldn't even see correctly. I collided with a chair and just collapsed into it. God my head hurt and every other part of my body felt so heavy. I could not sleep since we found the first body. Her name was Ellen McConnell she was a lawyer for a small firm about a block from the CBI. She just reminded me of myself her husband and son were killed by an angry client and she blamed herself for their deaths.

Last night was the worst that I have had in a long time. The thoughts about how easy it would be just to let go. To let all the pain and guilt just disappear. I was so close I had the pain killers in my hand all I had to do was put them in my mouth and swallow. My phone had rang just as I was bringing my hand up to my mouth. Lisbon always did have a way with timing.

Grace walked into the kitchen and pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Hey are you crying?" Grace asked looking at me with a worried expression.

I just got up and walked away. Turning to the bathroom I looked in the mirror. Tears were running down my face and I had dark rings under my eyes. Turning the water on and I splashed it onto my face a few times. Someone else walked into the bathroom and was standing behind me. Glancing up in the mirror I did not recognize him. Turning off the water I walked out of the bathroom and into the bullpen. I grabbed my jacket off the couch and put it on.

"Where are you going?" Lisbon was reading a file Grace had handed her.

"Why the fuck do you care?" Lisbon looked up at me quickly.

"Jane are you ok?"

"Wow that really shows how much you care Lisbon. Do I look ok to you? I have not slept in a week and I can feel my body shutting down. Every day I have to talk myself out of committing suicide. So no I am not ok."

I walked over to the elevator and pushed the down button. The man from the bathroom walked up and stood beside me. The door pinged open and we stepped inside. The door opened again at the lobby and I stepped outside walked up to my car. The man was still following me. Turning to him I introduced myself.

"Hello I am Patrick Jane." Not very concerned I shook his hand and turned around not listening to what he was saying.

"I am Ben Were." The words took a second to sink in before I put it together he was the kidnapper. He heard everything I said back in the office holy shit what the fuck was I supposed to do now. I felt something hard collide with the side of my face. I spun around to see him, holding his briefcase above his head. He swung it down in an angle hitting me directly above my jaw. My head flew backwards and hit off of his car. The ground rushed up to meet me and Ben stood over me. This time he did not hit me with his briefcase he just punched me. God why the hell did I not pass out yet? He was thinking the same thing as he glanced at me suspiciously.

"M. Jane you seem very resilient today." He brought his hand up again and made contact with my nose. I could feel the blood running down my face. He just kept hitting me. I feel like the kid that the bully always picks on. He has punched me at least times. Finally he picks me up by the front of my jacket and smashes my face off of his car.