A Perfect Girl I'm not...
By the way, because Konoha is the main village of the Fire Country, in this story it becomes the Capital. Tenten's home town is just a small random town outside of Konoha.
Meanwhile, far away in a small town just a few miles from Konoha, a young girl with long brown hair tied up into hair buns wearing a white tank-top and black shorts is sitting on her bed eating a bowl of rice as she studied a chart of kanji characters.
"Quiet and demure..." Tenten muttered as she picked at her rice. "Graceful, Polite..." she continued popping some rice in her mouth.
"Delicate..." the girl muttered some more as she chewed and swallowed, dipping a calligraphy brush into a pot of ink and began to write on the final kanji on the bottom of her left arm where she had copied a few of the characters representing the traits she was muttering on earlier. "Refined...poised...PUNCTUAL!" she finally exclaimed when she heard a rooster nearby crow.
"Oh crap!" exclaimed Tenten jumping out of bed and running out the room. "Akamaru!" she called loudly as she ran into the kitchen blowing on her arm for the ink to dry. "Akamaru! Aka- Oh there you are!" she cooed as Tenten looked on the floor to see Akamaru just awakening from his nap. The puppy barked happily and wagged his tail at the girl.
"Who's the smartest doggy in the world? Come on smart boy! Can you help me with my chores today?" she asked as Tenten grabbed a bag of chicken feed from a pile in the corner and ripped a small hole in it before using some thin rope to tie it Akamaru's collar along with a bamboo pole which she hung a bone from.
Akamaru immediately saw the bone and barked happily as began to chase it. Tenten quickly held open the door for the pup as he began running only to collide with the wall, making the girl flinch a little. Fortunately, Akamaru seemed unfazed as he continued to chase the bone outside with the attached bag leaving a trail of feed behind him which was immediately pecked at by some nearby hens. A large black horse with purple markings on his white face was just minding his own business chewing on a stalk of hay as he watched Akamaru run before shaking his head. (R/F: Yep, you guessed it. It's Kankuro, alright.)
Nearby, in a small ancestral shrine, Asuma placed a joss stick on a small hanging golden holder shaped like a small Kyuubi slowly kneeling down to pray. He had one foot all bandaged up in a cast and a pair of crutches. Asuma bowed down in front of the memorial stone tablet of the 1st ancestor. "Honorable ancestors, please help Mulan impress the matchmaker today..." he began to pray putting his hands together when Akamaru came running in barking loudly while chickens trailed behind the pup eating the feed that was still trailing behind him.
Asuma opened one eye to see the chickens around and sighed. "Please, PLEASE, help her..." he prayed harder.
Just at that moment, Tenten was coming up the stairs carrying a small white teapot and a matching teacup on a circular brown tray. She wore a long-sleeved white Chinese blouse with a high collar and red fastener and edges paired with similar colored puffy pants. She stopped to see Akamaru on his hind legs whimpering in vain trying to reach the bone that the stick held out of reach. Smiling, Tenten reached down and lowered the bone to Akamaru who began chewing on it happily as he wagged his tail.
"Father, I brought your- Whoops!" Tenten called as she accidentally collided with Asuma who was just coming out of the shrine. The tray and teacup both fell to the ground with a crash but fortunately Asuma managed to catch the teapot by the handle with his crutch.
"Tenten!" exclaimed Asuma in surprise.
"Don't worry I brought a spare!" said Tenten whipping out another cup from her pocket tipped the hanging teapot to pour some tea.
"Tenten," Asuma said again, this time in a more serious voice.
"Remember what the doctor said, you need three cups of tea in the morning and three cups of tea at night so that your leg will heal a lot faster."
"Tenten."
"It's already been two months since Kankuro accidentally broke your leg. Keep up with your medicine and it should definitely heal in a few weeks."
"Tenten, you're should already by in town. We are counting on you t-"
"To uphold the family honor.." interjected Tenten smiling brightly. "Don't worry Father, I won't let you down," she reassured him as she secretly pulled down her sleeve to conceal the kanji list she wrote earlier. "Wish me luck!"
"Hurry!" urged Asuma seeing his daughter run off. He glanced over to Akamaru who looked back at him with the bone in his mouth. "I'm going to...pray some more..." he muttered hobbling back into the shrine.
Elsewhere in town, Kurenai paced about worriedly outside a salon, wringing her hands nervously. Anko poked her head out of the door and frowned heavily. "Kurenai, is your daughter here yet? The Matchmaker is not a very patient woman," Anko warned, disappearing back inside.
Kurenai sighed heavily and shook her head. "Of all days to be late. I should've prayed to the ancestors for luck..."
"How lucky can they be? They're dead!" commented an old woman bluntly. Kurenai turned around to see her mother, Chiyo, holding a small cage with a Konohamaru cricket inside. Kurenai smiled and shook her head at her mother while she continued to search the crowd for her very tardy daughter.
Meanwhile, Chiyo walked over to the side of a very busy road and held up the cricket cage. "Besides, I've got all the luck we'll need..." she muttered slyly. "This is your chance to prove yourself!" she whispered to Konohamaru.
The cricket chirped and looked at her wierdly when Chiyo suddenly blindfolded herself and literally blindy roamed into the busy street.
"Grandma, no!" cried Kurenai but it was too late as a horse-drawn cart and a street vendor cart came at the old woman from either direction. The two quickly hit the brakes and collided with a loud crash as a huge dust cloud filled the air. Chiyo emerged from the dust cloud unscathed and stopped once she reached the other side of the street. Chiyo opened her eyes to see Konohamaru still in his cage.
"Yup! This cricket's a lucky one!" she called over to Kurenai, who heaved a sigh of relief. Meanwhile, Konohamaru appeared to be traumatized and promptly fainted.
Suddenly, Kurenai heard the neighing of a horse a looked to see Tenten riding in bareback on Kankuro. "I'm here!" she announced flipping of Kankuro just as he stopped. Her hair was all messy with one of her hair buns coming loose and had leaves sticking out of her hair.
Kurenai frowned at Tenten heavily, placing her hands on her hips. "What?" asked Tenten. "But Mama I had to-"
"None of your excuses, now lets get you cleaned up!" scolded Kurenai as she dragged Tenten into the salon where Anko was waiting while took a hold of Kankuro's reins.
Chinese music began to play as Anko plucked a leaf from Tenten's hair and looked at her in disdain . "This is what you give me to work with? Well honey, I've seen worst!" she sang as she shoved Tenten behind a screen and began to undo the girl's hair buns and strip her despite the girl's protests.
"We're going to turn this sow's ear," Anko continued as she roughly pulled off Tenten's pants, causing the girl to loose her balance and fall into a tub of soapy water behind her with a splash. "Into a silk purse~!" she announced pushing away the screen just as Tenten's head emerged from the bath.
"It's freezing!" Tenten complained shivering.
"It would have been warm if you had been here on time," said Kurenai smiling just as Anko came back and dumped a bucket of water on Tenten, causing her hair to cover her face. Anko began to sing again as she began to roughly shampoo Tenten's long brown hair, making her flinch in pain.
Anko:
We'll have you, washed and dried
Primped and polished till you glow with pride,
Trust my recipe for instant bride
"You'll bring honor to us all~!.."sang Anko as she dumped scented body wash on Tenten and walked away with the bottles.
Kurenai had already grabbed a sponge and was ready to scrub Tenten when she turned over the girl's left to see the kanji she had written. "Tenten, what is this?" she asked.
Tenten looked nervous as she drew away her arm. "Um...notes. In case, I forget something..." she lied, trying to look innocent just as Chiyo came in with Konohamaru.
"Hold this, we'll need more luck then I thought!" exclaimed Chiyo, handing the cricket over to Kurenai.
It wasn't long until Tenten was brought out of the bath and shoved into another room wearing a white bath robe and was made to kneel down on cushion while Hana Inuzuka and Ayame the Ramen Girl brushed her long brown hair separately and began to braid them. They had apparently caught on to the rhythm and began to sing too.
Hana:
Wait and see,
When we're through...
Ayame:
Boys will gladly go to war for you...
"With good fortune..."sang Hana as she turned the braids into hair loops and tied them with bright red ribbons at the back of Tenten's loops.
"And a great hairdo!" added Ayame cheerfully, showing Tenten her reflection as she pushed a stray strand of hair back for the girl.
"You'll bring honor to us all~!.." they sang in unison with Kurenai who joined in at the last moment
After getting her hair done, Kurenai led Tenten through a yard where Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Temari were getting outfitted in kimonos by their mothers for the first two, and their aunts for the last two. Kurenai and the older women continued the song from here.
"A girl can bring her family great honor in one way," they all began to sing just as Kurenai and Tenten walked past Kakashi and Shikaku playing shogi. Tenten paused for a while and looked at the board. Shikaku had just made his move and was looking at a depressed Kakashi confidently. "By striking a good match, and this could be the day!" they sang just as Tenten easily moved one of Kakashi's pieces that countered Shikaku's last move when Kurenai came back and dragged her away, leaving a stunned Shikaku and a now very triumphant Kakashi.
It wasn't long until Tenten found herself at the dressers where she was outfitted with a white silk kimono designed with swirling red, gold and orange autumn leaves. Shikamaru's mom ( Her name escapes me...) came into the room carrying a matching scarlet obi and handed it to Kurenai and Anko.
"Men want girls with good taste," she sang as she held Tenten's kimono in place.
"Calm,"suggested Anko grabbing one part of the sash.
"Obedient!"added Kurenai grabbing the other part as Anko pushed the wheeled stool she sitting on and rode it as she wrapped the sash around Tenten.
"Who work fast-paced!" sang Shikamaru's mom again.
"With good breeding," sang Kurenai as she grabbed her end tightly.
"And a tiny waist!" added Anko grabbing her end as well as she and Kurenai pulled the sash tightly to prove their point causing Tenten to gasp when she had her breath squeezed out of her.
"You'll bring honor to us all~!" sang the three women just as Shikamaru's mom finished tying on the obi and stepped back with the others to admire their work.
Upon walking outside all the women in the area began to sing with Kurenai.
Everybody:
We all must serve our Emperor,who guards us from the Huns,
A man by bearing arms, a girl by bearing sons!
It was the make-up hut for Tenten now with Shizune already having helped the girl wear concealer, powder, and the other make-up. As she picked up a tube of red lipstick and began to apply it, Shizune and Kurenai sang the next part in canon. When she was finished, Shizune allowed Tenten to look at her new face. The girl quirked an eyebrow before grabbing a tissue and dabbed a bit of the lipstick off and smiled in satisfaction.
S:When we're through you can't fail,
(K:When we're through you can't fail,)
S:Like a lotus blossom soft and pale,
(K:Like a lotus blossom soft and pale,)
S:How could any fellow say "No sale,"
(K:How could any fellow say "No sale",)
S:You'll bring honor to us all,
"You'll bring honor to us all~...!" finished Kurenai as she undid a bundle containing a pair of small golden earrings shaped like kunai and wore them on her daughter. "There, you're ready."
"Not yet!" exclaimed Chiyo rushing in with a few things and shoved an apple in Tenten's mouth, who munched on it hungrily. "An apple for serenity," she began to say, slipping in a Yin-Yang pendant into Tenten's obi. "A pendant for balance!" Chiyo continued before whipping out a jade necklace. "Beads of jade, for beauty! You must proudly show it!" sang the old woman as Kurenai handed her Konohamaru's cricket quickly backed up in fear upon seeing Chiyo. "Now add a cricket, just for luck. And even you can't blow it!" she sang attaching the cage to Tenten's waist.
It was finally Tenten's turn to sing as she walked out into the open, nervously wringing her hands as she turned to the heavens.
Tenten:
Ancestors, hear my plea!
Help me not to make a fool of me,
And to not uproot my family tree...
"Keep my father standing tall~...!" she sang when Kurenai suddenly handed the girl a red parasol, prompting Tenten to pick up her robe and jog past a corner where the other girls began walking poised in a single file towards the Matchmaker's. Sakura led the front, followed by Ino, Hinata and Temari. Tenten quickly caught up to them and took her place behind Temari. She glanced at the girls in front of her and copied how their held their parasols and how they carried themselves. "Scarier than the undertaker, We are meeting our matchmaker!"
(R.F.: *Holds up a conductor rod* EVERYBODY NOW!)
Everybody:
Destiny, guard our girls,
And our future as it fast unfurls,
Please look kindly on these cultured pearls,
Each a perfect porcelain doll~!...
(R.F.: Now just the girls!)
Sakura:Please bring honor to us,
Ino:Please bring honor to us,
Hinata:Please bring honor to us,
Temari:Please bring honor to us,
"Please, bring, honor to us AAAALLLL~~...!" sang everyone as the girls began to spread out in front of the Matchmaker's. Tenten awkwardly copied the other girls as they all opened their parasols kneeled covering themselves wth them.
Suddenly the doors burst open to reveal a bored blue haired woman with multiple face piercings and a paper rose in her hair holding a clipboard. "Sarutobi Tenten!" she called.
"Present!" chirped the girl popping up from behind her parasol cheerfully.
Konan narrowed her eyes at the girl. "Speaking without permission..." she muttered curtly, scribbling on her clipboard.
"Shimatta!" groaned Tenten silently as she mentally kicked herself before following Konan into the house as the woman slammed the door behind them.
"Who spat in her bean curd?" whispered Chiyo to Kurenai in annoyance.
Inside, Konan began by judging Tenten's physical appearance. "Hmph, too skinny!" she grunted scribbling on her clipboard. "No good for bearing sons..."
Meanwhile, Konohamaru had managed to slip his cage and was about to jump off when Tenten quickly caught him. She tried to put him back but the cricket managed to wriggle loose. Tenten tried grabbing at the cricket again but Konohamaru kept dodging. When she finally managed to catch the little bug, Tenten was forced to hide the bug in her mouth just as Konan whipped around.
"Recite the final admonition!" ordered Konan.
Tenten forced herself to smile and nodded her head vigorously as she pulled out a crimson fan and covered the bottom half of her face to hide her spitting Konohamaru out. Tenten quickly cleared her throat. "Fulfill your duties calmly and...ress...pectfully," she began to recite as Tenten tried to peek at her cheat notes written on her arm only to discover that the characters had gotten wet once more from the bath earlier and were smeared. "Um, Reflect before you snack. ACT!" she quickly corrected herself. "This shall bring you honor and glory!" Tenten finished quickly, heaving a huge sigh of relief as she fanned herself.
Suddenly, Konan grabbed the girl's wrist and snatched her fan and looked at it in the front and back to see if she had cheat notes. Of course, she didn't find since they were written on Tenten's arm. Konan squinted at Tenten a little, who smiled innocently. The woman grunted and handed back the fan to the girl.
"This way..." she said pulling Tenten's arm.
Tenten bit her lip just as Konan removed her hand unaware that her hand now had black ink on it. Konan picked up a teapot that that was being heated and placed it in front of Tenten. "Now, pour the tea," Konan instructed gesturing with her inked hand which she thankfully hasn't noticed yet.
Tenten stared at the inked hand as she sat down picked up the teapot while Konan carried on with her lecture. "Now, to please your future in-laws, you must demonstrate a sense of dignity," the woman began to say as she traced her chin with the inked hand, leaving a thin ink beard and goatee. "And...refinement. You must also be poised."
Tenten continued to stare until she realized that she had missed the cup and poured on the table. Quickly, she stopped and poured into the teacup this time. Suddenly Tenten heard a small chirping as she looked down. Her eyes widened when she saw Konohamaru relaxing in the tea as if it was hot spring. Tenten swallowed heavily when Konan picked up the teacup. "Ano...pardon me..." she tried to say softly.
"And SILENT!" ordered Konan sternly as she inhaled the aroma of her tea unaware of the cricket. Konohamaru's head shot up when he saw that Konan was about to drink from the cup.
"May I just take that back?" Tenten tried to ask politely while trying to pull the cup away only to have Konan resist. "For a moment!"
Suddenly, Konan lost her balance and fell over backwards causing the tea to splash on all over her while Konohamaru fell down the front of her shirt, making Tenten gasp loudly. Konan stood up and glared at the girl angrily. "Why you clumsy-!" she began to growl when she began to feel Konohamaru jumping about in her shirt in an attempt to escape. While trying to reach for him, Konan knocked over the heating vase she used for the tea earlier and tripped, falling on the blazing hot coals that spilled out.
Konan screamed loudly as skirt became scorched and was smoking as the woman hopped about the room. Tenten tried to help put it out by fanning the spot but it only made matters worse as the skirt burst into flames, making Konan scream and hop about more.
Outside, everyone flinched when they heard an audible crash fro inside.
"I think it's going well in there," Chiyo began to say when Konan burst out screaming, causing the others to look up.
"Put it out! Put it out!" Konan screamed when Tenten quickly ran out with the teapot. "PUT IT OU-" SPLASH! went the tea as Tenten threw it over the woman, putting out her fiery butt with a fizzle.
Konan glared with her make-up running down her face at Tenten who meekly bowed and gave back the teapot and scurried back to Kurenai and Chiyo with her head down. Konohamaru hopped out quickly and went back into his cage frightened. The woman stomped up to Tenten and her family furiously. "You are a DISGRACE!" she screamed throwing down the teapot. "You MAY look like a bride! But you will NEVER bring your family HONOR!"
Konan promptly turned and went back into the house while onlookers moved away whispering to each other. Kurenai hugged her daughter comfortingly while Chiyo held her hand. All Tenten could do at that time was to bow her head in shame at the thought of letting her family down.
R.F: Two chapters up in day! I'm on a ROLL!
