Disclaimer: I own my fair share of dust bunnies, but not the Boosh.

A/N: Just... yeah.

"Vince, what are you doing under there?"

"Monsterproofing."

"Monsterproofing?"

"Yeah, protecting against possible future infestations."

"Vince, you don't really still believe in the monsters under the bed, do you?"

"Course I do, Howard! Some of them are well vicious. Wouldn't you rather be prepared?"

"Of course, but - "

"Don't want to be all snuggled down in your bed, spooning someone you love, when RAH! A sabre-tooth beaver with laserbeam eyes leaps out from under the mattress and - could you hold onto that flashlight?"

"Sure... let me just - there, how's that?"

"Cheers Howard. Then there's sock gremlins and hobo vampires with - "

"You sure you're not making this up, Vince?"

"Never been more serious about anything in my life. Then there's Steve, the dust bunny. He's all right, really, but do you want him setting up a little squat under our mattress, having his friends round all the time?"

"Steve doesn't sound like an altogether bad person, though."

"That may be, but do you really want him and his mates to overhear us having a shag? 'Harder, Vince, harder...'"

"Uhh, I think the back corner could use a little more monsterproofing, Little Man."