***DISCLAIMER***

Me: I hope you all enjoyed that last chapter, got some awsome reviews! And now you have a sneek peek into what Tommy has to deal with.

Tommy: (angrily) That is NOT how my life was at home! (stomps his foot)

Me: (teasingly) Oh don't worry Tommy that wasn't even half as bad as the next few chapters... (winks at the readers)

Tommy: What is that supposed to mean?

Adam: (walks in and rests his fore arm on Tommys shoulder) It means Glitterbaby, in this story your life sucks...to put it nicely.

Tommy:(pouty) Why am I always the one with the problems?

Me: Because Adam is perfect.

Adam: (smiles) Why thank you...

Me: (blushes)

Tommy: (annoyed) Would you to quit flirting!

Me: Aww...I think he feels left out...

Tommy: No, I feel abused. Why can't Adam be the one with the crappy life and I make him feel better?

Adam: Because you're cute when you get angry and things don't go your way.

Me: It's true

Tommy: (defeated) Can we just read the next chapter and get it over with?

Me: (happily) Yay! Tommy wants to read it this time!

Adam: (to the readers) Jackie owns nothing! (winks)

Me: ENJOY!


~CHAPTER FOUR~

"Mayby I'll need you, maybe I won't

Well someday I'll want to, but right now I don't"

-Pieces

The darkness created by my hood was nice, but the atmosphere ruined my feeble attempt to catch up on my sleep. There was just too much noise in the cafeteria to even think about sleeping. Once or twice I had been on that fine line between sleep and awake as my eyes started to close and my brain would drown out most of the obnoxious chatter, then someone would either drop their tray or make a scene in the fucking lunch line. Then I would lose my loose grip on the small ounce of tranquility I found.

Two hours. Two fucking hours was all I could sleep last night because my mother was screaming at the top of her lungs from the nightmares that haunted her thoughts. I knew she didn't mean to, and that she had no control over it, but it was still aggravating. Her nightmares started after the accident, and most of the time she slept soundly. Mine though, didn't start until after my father committed suicide, and were almost every night. Or at least it used to be. Unfortunately it seemed as though every night that my mother would have her nightmares, I didn't. Then the nights that I was plagued with violent reminiscent images, she never uttered a noise. Those were the nights that I was the one screaming, sometimes so loud I eventually woke myself up, clutching my pillow, heart beating a million times a minuet, sweat streaming down my face. It was not a pretty picture.

My drooping eyelids were almost completely shut when I detected the presence of someone standing behind me, and I immediately turned to see who it was. Monte didn't eat second lunch with me, unlike yesterday, so I knew it couldn't be him. I wasn't really in the mood to deal with anyone at all.

The school had three different lunch hours, set during the afternoon. All of which served the same disgusting food, by the same bitchy lunch ladies- who all looked ridiculous in hair nets. Not to mention the ludicrous price of the shit they served.

The warning signs in my head died instantly as soon as I seen who the person in question was. For now, I decided that Adam wasn't on my personal surveillance. After one day he checked out okay, which was a rarity for me. I wasn't quite sure if I could really trust him, because I had a hard time trusting anybody. I really only trusted those I've known most, if not all of my life. Adam's flamboyant personality though, made it hard for me to resist the urge to trust him.

He was dressed in dark clothes again, which looked like they held expensive value, and I took a quick glance at my own attire. What a difference there was between us. It wasn't that I didn't like the way he dressed, actually I quite liked the look he was going for, but his taste exceeded my spending budget. Hell, I couldn't even afford to feed myself most of the time.

Adam took the seat next to me again, opening a brown paper sack like yesterday, and removed it's contents; a turkey sandwich, a bag of chips and a bottle of water. When my defense fell, realizing who had been behind me, I was tired again. I slouched deeper into the hard plastic chair, leaning over to rest my head on the cold surface of the table. If only for five minuets sleep would encompass me, I would be grateful, but I knew it was too much to hope for.

As he ate and I attempted to sleep, I could feel Adam's eyes watching me, just like I felt him standing behind me. I quickly conjured up an excuse to explain my uselessness. It was inevitable, eventually he would ask what was wrong, and I wasn't about to go into any gory detail. I would tell him if absolutely necessary.

It took him longer than I thought it would. Usually, kids looked for every opportunity to dig their filthy noses in someone else's business. Adam just ate his sandwich, glancing over at me every now and then. My eyes fell close, and I emptied my thoughts hoping sleep would grant me my wish, until the silence was broken.

"Are you okay?" Adam finally asked. Lazily, my eyelids fluttered open, wanting nothing more then to stay shut, and I tried to focus my fuzzy vision on him. By the look on his face, it was plain to see that the question had been festering him for some time. I sat up, stretching, and yawning, brushing my bangs out of my face.

"Yeah." I lied, yawning again. "Home work's a bitch." I added sluggishly, using my lame excuse.

Adam smirked, nodding in agreement. He didn't say anything after that. He just continued to eat his lunch peacefully and let me rest. I tried sleeping again, but this time I knew it wasn't gonna happen. Not with the bright fluorescent lighting and detestable kids. Instead, I sat with my chin resting on my palm, watching Adam eat his food. There was something different about him from yesterday, and my lack of proper sleep dulled my scenes, making it hard to concentrate on what it was. I found myself staring at him, like an idiot.

"You died your hair!" I gasped once all the pieces clicked together. Adam chuckled, nodding.

"Yeah. I meant to do it before I moved here." He explained. "Do you like it?" he ran his fingers through it with a smile on his face. In a day his hair had gone from bright red to a less harsh reddish-brown color, which complemented his cobalt eyes and dark lashes. His eyebrows were even darker. I nodded, feeling a soft smile grace my lips for the first time in a while.

"Yeah I do. It looks really good."

The bright florescent lights hanging above his head made his dark hair shine brilliantly against his fair skin. It fell just over the tops of his ears, and laid neatly across his flawless forehead in spiky strands. His hair always fell into place perfectly, and mine put up a fight every morning.

Adam smiled, his pale cheeks turning a soft pink. "Thank you." He looked away shyly, and finished his sandwich. He offered me some chips, but I shook my head. I wasn't comfortable taking his food like I was Monte's. Instead I just marveled at how different he looked with his new hair.

I did want to sound like a complete jack ass yesterday- having just met him, but to be honest, I couldn't stand his red hair. The dark hair was even more natural looking, although, it wouldn't be quite as easy to hide the freckles on his lips and arms.

"I think you should go black though." I suggested randomly, picturing how it would look in my mind. As good as his air looked now, it would look ten times better if it were black. He didn't have the tanned skin like your typical Californian, of course neither did I, but his pale skin went with the dark hair. He could pull of dark and mysterious, I couldn't.

Adam thought a moment, taking a drink from his bottle of water. I could tell he was really giving the idea some thought. "You think it would look okay?" he asked. "Black might be over kill."

I shook my head. "I think it would really make your eyes stand out." I paused, thinking of how that might have sounded odd. "Unless you don't want them to." I added, staring at his hypnotic eyes.

"No… that would be cool." Adam said with a smile.

The rest of the lunch hour flew by too quickly, as Adam and I talked a little, finding that it was hard to feel tired around him. It was as if a certain kind of energy radiated from him, like heat from the sun. It livened me up and put me in a better mood, even to the point were I forgot the bad stuff for just a moment. I could tell as we sat next to each other, he would slowly become a drug to me. I could feel him working his way under my skin. He made me smile, nothing for the past two years ever made me smile. But some how this overly jovial kid managed to make me- the cynical recluse, smile again. Wasn't that what I wanted? Of course it was. Then why did I feel like I shouldn't get attached? I couldn't make sense of it at all.

We continued to talk the hour away, discussing different things. Likes and dislikes. He asked about my guitar when he told me about his dream of being a singer. I explained I had been playing since I was twelve, teaching myself most of the time. We asked each other weird things, like the kind of tooth paste we preferred or our favorite kinds of soda. I was actually enjoying myself.

When he finished his lunch, he pulled out the wrinkled and ripped piece of paper with his classes marked on it. I glanced over at it, trying to make out the print to see what class he had next. From what I could make out, it didn't seem we had any more classes together. He had Advanced Theater Arts next. I frowned slightly, he was adapting to the life in Hollywood fast. He never mentioned acting while we were talking.

The thought that maybe he was better suited to the glamorous life then I was kept bugging me. I wasn't jealous, I just didn't want him to become one of them. He sure had everything he needed to be one, all he needed to do was find them. Adam had money and a decent fashion sense. I wasn't gonna deny it, he was handsome, and probably talented if he wanted to be a singer. Not to mention getting into the Advance Theater class. Why he had chosen Monte and I, out of all the other students to hang with was beyond me. The more I thought about it, the more attached I realized I was becoming. I didn't want to get attached, because I knew it was only a matter of time before he wasn't here. The kids with money and better clothes could offer him so much more then Monte or me.

Soon they would wheedle their way to him, and drag him over to their crowd that was a swirling whirlwind of fame, fashion, fortune, sex and drugs. After that, he would never be the same. His charming, flamboyant personality would disappear in that dizzying spril, replaced by cold, egotistical arrogance. He would be ruined.

The crowd in the cafeteria started thinning as students crammed their way through the halls to get to their classes. Adam stood, placing his trash in the dumpster nearest to where we were sitting, and came back to the table.

"Which way is the Theater Arts room?" he asked, examining his wrinkled schedule again. I stood up slowly, lost in a world all my own, pulling my hood down and fixed my hair. "Um…" I said thinking. I wasn't really sure.

"…I think it's down that hall." I pointed to the right. "you really can't miss it. It's the most colorful room in the entire building." I added with a smirk. Adams freckled lips smiled. "Cool." We said a quick goodbye, and headed off to face the rest of the school day by ourselves

~oOo~

After the long exasperating day, school finally let out, and Adam and I grabbed our shit to take home. We snaked our ways down the windowless halls until we came to the glass door that lead to the parking lot and exited. The two of us stood under the overhang by the entrance again, saying absolutely nothing. It was a routine Monte and I used to prolong going home. We both had our reasons, although mine was more legit then his was. Not that I would wish my circumstances on anyone, especially Monte, but he needed to appreciate his family. At least all his family was still alive and sober.

Outside it was another beautiful day, which seemed to mock me. It felt like it anyway, especially when I felt so cold and dead inside. The parking lot was empty, Monte's white pickup was no where to be found. On days his father needed a mode of transportation, Monte was forced to ride the bus. Then I realized that even Adam's black mustang was missing as well.

"Did you drive to school today?" I asked looking up at him.

From the way he was standing, his head blocked the sun from view, and the rays fanned out, forming the illusion of a glowing halo, all he needed was the wings. His shadowed face turned and looked at me.

"Nope. I walked." He informed me.

My eyebrows squeezed together, "Why?"

I couldn't wrap my brain around a reasonable explanation. Why would he walk when he had a perfectly good car? If I had a car like his I would flaunt the damn thing everyday. He smiled slightly, then said.

"So I could walk you home."

I was sure the look on my face changed dramatically, because the smile faded quickly from Adam's.

"I'm not so sure that is a great idea." I told him, moving my focus to my feet.

"Why?" he asked, his tone apprehensive.

I racked my brain, trying to figure out what to tell him. I knew as soon as he seen what kind of family I came from, he would sprint to the kids with the talent and money, making sure never to speak to us again.

"Well…" I stalled, wanting to run and hide so I didn't have to explain my odd behavior. This was the reason why I never liked to deal with anyone I had never met before. I never had to explain myself to Monte, he knew me. I usually didn't associate with anyone other then him.

I bit my lip, deciding that if I ever wanted Adam to trust me, like I wanted to trust him, I was going to have to suck it up and get over my problems.

I sighed heavily. "It's probably not a good idea because I don't exactly live in the nice part of town, and my mother, well that is a different story…" my voice trailed off.

I did feel a little bit better opening up slightly to Adam. But my sentence came out in a slurred nervous blur, that I wasn't sure Adam understood. For a second, he didn't say anything, and I was certain he was debating whether or not to disappear completely if he had hear me correctly.

"Okay." He shrugged. "How far is it?"

I looked up at him in amazement, did he really hear what I said?

"Thirty blocks." I said, "I understand if that is too far of a walk for you." I added. Nobody would want to walk thirty some blocks then back to their own house.

"Well, then we better start walking." He said with a crooked smile.

Disbelief flooded my face. "seriously?"

He chuckled. "Seriously."

He started to walk away in the direction I lived, and I stood there for a moment not sure if I was dreaming, or this was really happening. A complete smile spread across my lips, though in my gut I could feel something wasn't right.

"Okay." I told him. "I hope you like to walk."

~oOo~

On the way home, I wasn't sure what reaction I was going to receive when we turned onto my block. My street looked like something from a movie about drugs and prostitutes, probably because the street was full of both, so I guess it really wasn't that surprising. Even out in the fucking day light girls would stand on the street corners, waiting for some middle-aged man or drugged up teenager. Luckily, I had lived here long enough to know what corners and houses to avoid. Just last month there were two homicides, three break-in and one drive by shooting. There was no happiness in his rotting hell I was forced to called home.

On a lighter note, I was actually able to keep a conversation going between the two of us while we walked. Adam was a very interesting person. He told me how his family moved here so he could pursue his performing career while he was still in school. Apparently, Indiana isn't a good place for that kind of thing. The idea of an entire family picking up and moving all the way across the country for their kid was almost unbelievable. I wished my life was as exciting as his. Mine was interesting, but not in a good way.

I watched Adam as we walked, expecting his face to turn sour upon seeing the environment I lived in, but he just walked beside me, humming blissfully to himself. Nothing dampened his mood a bit. I turned onto the short pathway that lead up to my collapsing house- the grey stone walk way was cracked, with green leafy sprouts pocking out of each fracture.

"This is…uh…my house." I said, making my way to the porch.

Adam stopped in the middle of the walkway, and looked my pathetic home up and down. "I like it." he smirked. I stopped walking, and turned toward him. He was standing about six feet behind me, gazing up at the structure.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's got loads of character." He said.

I raised my eyebrow and looked at the old house trying to imagine it from his view point. I couldn't. I learned rather quickly that he was one of those optimistic people that could find the beauty in anything. I was more practical. I seen things for what they were, and my house was nothing more the a dilapidated, crummy pile of shit, with broken windows, chipping paint, and a fucked up door knob.

I moved myself next to him, and stood there for a moment. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't see my house like he did. I sighed heavily motioning Adam to follow.

"Come on."

The old brass door knob on my front entrance way had problems of it's own. Sometimes it liked me, and didn't put up a fight. Most of the time though, it was temperamental. I hated the damn thing all the time. It was just one more thing that pissed me off in life. But I wasn't about to throw myself in front of a bus because of a fucking door knob, I just couldn't stand it.

I jiggled it once, nothing. I narrowed my eyes at it, grunted and tried again. Still nothing, then realization struck me.

"Shit." I grumbled.

"What?" Adam asked.

"I'm locked out."

"Shit." He repeated in agreement.

"Yep." I sighed at first then panic started to take over. I rushed over to the big picture window that looked into the living room, hoping to find my mother asleep on the couch. Most of the time the door was open. She only locked it if she got paranoid or if she was leaving. She wasn't there. All of a sudden the gut feeling I had standing at school made sense. It was an instinct that I acquired from taking care of her for the past couple of years Some people could feel the change of the weather in their bones. I could feel when my mother was in getting herself in trouble. But instead of paying attention to it, I selfishly ignored it because for once I wanted to focus on some one other then my mother.

I felt my heart skip into hyperactive mode as panic started to fuel my movements. My fist pounded against the glass window over and over, but it was no use. She wasn't there.

"God damnit!" I cursed under my breath.

Adam's eyebrows pulled together. "What's wrong?"

I dropped my heavy back pack and guitar case where I stood, and pulled on the front door knob one last time- thinking it was going to work, then rushed out to the side walk. Obviously confused by my odd behavior, Adam stood for a second, then ran to catch up with me.

"Tommy!" he called. "What is it?"

My mind was so jumbled I could barely hear him. I walked as fast as my tired legs would take me. I had to find my mother before she was too far gone. Adam maneuvered his way around me and stopped.

"Tommy. What the hell is going on?" his usual carefree and calm exposure had melted from his face to revile confusion and distress. His icy blue eyes bore into mine, and for a moment I was lost in their liquidity. Shaking my head, I blinked out of it.

My hands were beginning to shake the longer I stood there with him in the way. "I have got to find my mother. Now move…" I could almost taste the acid the trickled into my words when I spoke. Adam stepped aside, letting me pass, but continued to follow me.

"Where is she?" Adam asked, sounding like he was struggling to keep up.

The side walk was not the easiest thing to walk on. It rose and fell, like rolling hills and was embellished with millions of cracks and broken pieces. Some places didn't even have a concrete slab, just dirt and gravel

"I don't know." I hissed coldly, like he should have known. Part of that problem was my fault. I was too embarrassed that my mother acted the way she did to tell him. Now I was running franticly to go find her, with no real inclination as to where the hell she was. All the while the kid that I wanted to keep from seeing how fucked up my life was, was following me. I guess the reason why I didn't want him to know my life sucked was because for once I wanted to seem normal to someone. I didn't want him to know me as the kid with a drug history, a dead father and a sick mother.

"Where would she have gone to?" Adam asked, now beside me.

I stopped walking, and glared at him. I could feel the fire in my eyes, and here the growl in my speech. "How the fuck should I know!"

I broke down right there in front of him, too tired of holding in all the emotion. "I never know what is going on in her fucked up mind! This is what she does. She disappears and never to the same damn place twice! I never get clues to help me. Hell, I doubt she even know where the fuck she is at most of the time when she isn't sober! It makes me crazy!" I screamed, stopping to catch my breath.

Adam didn't say anything, he just stood there and let me resume my rant.

"My life sucks. There is now way around it! It is full of all this shit that just keeps piling on top of each other. I don't own any fancy clothes, or drive a fancy car. Jesus Christ. I have to borrow the neighbors damn lawn mower because my mother sold ours for alcohol! I never eat lunch at school because I'm to busy making sure that my mother isn't dead! My life is as shitty as it gets, and finding my mother is just part of it!"

By the time I was done, tears started to fill my eyes as my rage drifted into despair. After a short time, my heavy breaths calmed and I wiped the water away that was lining my eyes. I shut them shortly, feeling a little better having let that all out.

The air between us fell deathly silent as neither of us said anything. Adams eye were on the ground, watching the toe of his boot kick a small pebble on the cracked sidewalk. Even though I felt better, it wasn't a strong enough feeling to allow me to forget that my mother vanished again. Soon the thick air was too much for me to handle, and I began to walk hastily into town. Surprisingly, Adam trailed behind me, even though I just verbally abused him.

"Tommy?" Adam said cautiously. I knew he stopped walking again because I could no longer make out the unique sound his boots made when they hit the side walk. I didn't stop though. I needed to find her before dark, which was approaching quickly.

"What?" I grumbled, anger the only tone my voice could make.

"How 'bout we go to my house and pick up my car, then go look for her. We could cover more ground that way."

My feet halted, and I turned to face him. "You really plan on driving me around Los Angeles in your fancy little mustang just to look for my mother?" I laughed humorlessly rolling my eyes beginning to walk away again.

The expression on his face changed as I looked away and turned to concern. "Well yeah." He said shrugging. "I wouldn't joke about it."

Something inside me calmed hearing that come out of his mouth. I wasn't used to such things being said to me by almost complete strangers. Monte knew she had problems, and I knew it was hard for him to show any concern anymore. I spun and looked at him for a long time, studying his face, which appeared to hold true emotions. The smile that I thought never left his face was gone, and replaced by a hard line that was borderline frown.

I took a deep breath, turning on my heel towards him. "Okay." I said looking into the stormy sea clouds that made his eyes. "Lets go."


A/N: Haha well there is chapter four! let me know what you thought! i love hearing from ya'll! Also if any of you have a Twitter follow me Glampire92 let me know you are reading my story and will let ya know each time I post a chapter!

***Thank you to my beautiful reviewers! you make me smile! xD keep it up! 3

~Jackie