***DISCLAIMER***
Me: (waiting with both Jaz and Jami-also a coven member and just as crazy about Adam and Tommy as I am.) He's not gonna be happy when he sees I brought you two.
Jaz: (proudly sitting with her signed top hat on her head.) He already met me. Jami is the one who might run into a problem.
Jami: (eyes narrow at Jaz) What is that supposed to mean?
Me: (rolls eyes as bickering breaks out between them.) Guys come on. I'll make both of you leave this disclaimer if you don't behave!
Jami & Jaz: Fine!
Adam & Tommy: (they both enter together, Adam with his arm over Tommys shoulder, Tommy is smiling.)
Me: (confused; not used to seeing Tommy smile) Why is he so happy?
Jami: (Behind me freaking out just like Jaz and I did.)
Adam: He's glad he didn't get hit, beaten or maemed this chapter.
Me: (laughs) See, I told you that was a good chapter.
Tommy: You still called me a girl. (frowns)
Adam: Oh for crying out loud, that wasn't the first and it sure as hell won't be the last time it happens.
Tommy: (frowns deeper)
Me: (realizes Jami is having a spaz attack behind me and i sigh) Tommy, could I ask one more favor?
Tommy: As long as I don't get beat up or ran over this chapter.
Me: (thinks about it.) Okay!
Tommy: Whataya want me to do now?
Me: (grabs Jami who is giggling uncontrolably and takes her to Adam and Tommy.) She wants you to sign her ticket.
Jami: (gazing at them dreamily) Hi. . .
Adam: (chuckles)
Tommy: (Takes ticket from Jami and signs it.) There you go.
Adam: That was nice of you Tommy. (smiles)
Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now can we read the Chapter before Jackie goes and gets more of her friends?
Me: (laughes and looks at my readers) Enjoy this chapter, my favorite so far I think. And hopefully Tommy won't be too angry when he gets done reading it.
Tommy: (panicked) What!
Me: (winks at readers.)
~Chapter Seven~
"Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor"
It was never ending, or at least it felt that way. There was only ten minuets left in Government, then I could escape and go to practice with Adam. Practice and Adam was the only thing that gave me the incentives to come to school most days. I just kept telling myself that it was almost over, other wise I doubted my ability to make it through Franke's mono-tone lectures again. I really had absolutely know fucking clue whatsoever what material we were talking about in class now, so it truly didn't matter if I was here or not. Our government was fucked up anyway. For the past two weeks, the only thing that I had been concentrating on doing is going to practice- that's all I ever wanted to do. I got to be there, play my guitar and listen to Adam's beautiful voice sing along to every cord I played. Who would have thought I was actually enjoying staying after school.
My eyes narrowed into a scowl, glaring angrily at the clock. The slender red minuet hand slowly ticked it's way around the white face, causing my foot to start tapping with anticipation. There was that old saying "A watched pot never boils." Well a watched clock never fucking moved. I wanted out so bad I had started to twitch, and frankly I was starting to really freak myself out. Why the hell did I want out so bad? I already knew that answer though; I couldn't stand being in the same room as Adam and not be sitting close to him. Once that bell ceased my growing agony I would be able to be next to him once more. I hoped I didn't appear to be clingy to him. There was a number of times people had been clingy to me and I didn't appreciate it.
"Tell ya what." Mr.. Franke started, standing up from his desk. The tone in his voice was one that everyone knew, and no one liked. "I'm gonna have you do a project over what this entire section of the book covers" he paused. "You can do it with a partner or on your own, I don't care which. I want a two page report as well as a poster.
Everyone in class groaned and sighed.
"I want them ready to be presented next Thursday."
As he added his final comment, the bell rang and everyone in class left like the room was on fire. I immediately placed myself at Adams side, feeling better the second I was close to him. Every time I got close to him, all the stress build up and negative emotions my body was keeping locked away evaporated.
We slowly made our way down the hall until we reached his locker, which was surrounded by a horde of brainless bone heads and their slutty girl friends. They all looked at the two of us discussed, with cold eyes and walked away smugly. My eyes narrowed, and my lip curled.
"What the fuck is their problem?" I hissed, watching them strut down the hall liked they owned the place. Adams eyes followed mine, then looked away ashamed.
"They...uh, aren't quite as accepting as you and Monte are." he said softly, loading his book bag with all of his stuff.
My eyebrows pulled together. "How did they find out?" I asked, feeling my blood hot, as hatred coursed through my veins like venom ready to poison them.
Adam shrugged. "I guess you tell certain people who you thought he could trust your secrets. Then the next thing you know, fag is spray painted on your locker door." He slammed his locker shut, and stared pitifully at it.
I gasped, seeing the three huge letters painted bright pink across his locker. Something in me snapped at that moment seeing the hurt and embarrassment hidden in Adams eyes. My body reacted before I thought my action through and the next thing I knew, I was running down the hall after those kids- every step fueled with rage. I wanted to rip them all apart, I wanted more then just that. I wanted to taste their blood, and watch it spill onto the over polished floor, while their body's laid limp at my feet. I didn't want to see Adam so hurt and venerable, left to suffer the consequences from the horrible act. How could they be so crule to a person, especially Adam? He was nice to everyone, even the low life's who didn't deserve his kindness. There was absolutely no excuse for this shit. Did the teachers not even notice? What the hell was wrong with everybody?
The culprits had stopped down the hall, gathering by another row of lockers, all laughing. They weren't sorry for their vicious act. There wasn't even the slightest glimmer of remorse or sympathy in their eyes for their victim. They needed to pay. In some way, I would have their blood. There was five of them and only one of me, needless to say my odds were not the best, but I couldn't just let this go ignored like everyone else did. Adam had done so much for me, I was obligated whether he thought so or not. I had to stand up for him because at this moment, he was the one that needed protected. Never had I ever seen him so venerable, usually he was nothing short of bullet proof.
Out of the group, I singled out the smallest one, who just so happened to be the guy most likely to commit such a heinous crime. Todd Butler had been a trouble maker slash kiss ass since kindergarten. He was also known for other various discriminatory acts such as this, but never seemed to get punished for any of them. My guess was it was because he was the start quarterback on the football team, and the school didn't want to loose such a valuable player. It made me sick.
My size helped me remain un-noticed as I stalked my prey so that none of them seen me coming until I used every ounce of my strength to push Todd into the metal lockers.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I scolded.
All five of them stared wide eyed at me, and Todd looked confused and completely awestruck at first until he looked back at Adam, then he smiled curly.
"I don't know what you are talking about Ratliff." he said smugly, gaining evil snickers form pack of delinquents.
"Bull shit!" I growled "Who the hell gives you the right to do that to a person!"
Todd laughed darkly. "No one needs to give me any right, look at that queer. He's been asking for it since the day he brought his fruity ass in here!"
My blood was scorching, and it took everything in me not to claw his fucking eyes out. "You don't even know him, because if you did, you would realize that he is the most selfless, caring compassionate person in this entire fucking school. Adam is a way better person than any one of you could ever dream of being. Who gives a fuck about orientation! So what! Love is love, God damn it! And it sure as hell doesn't take away from how kind and loving a person is. And none of you will ever have the privilege of knowing that kindness."
My out raged shouting had drawn a crowd, but I didn't care. My main thing to focus on right then was to not bash the mother fuckers face in. I took deep, heavy breaths, my fingers were twitching at my sides as I glared at all of them. I felt like a bull in a bull fight. Glaring, nostrils flared, huffing and puffing, never taking my eyes off of my target.
Todd seemed completely unfazed, and utterly bored by my attempt to frighten him, which pissed me off even more. He shrugged once then made it so his ugly face was just inches form mine and he smirked. "He likes to fuck other guys, that makes him disgusting."
That was all it took for me to loose my cool, I couldn't contain it any longer. I was going to rip his head off. I lunged forward suddenly, knocking him backward onto the floor as my fist smashed into his nose. Before I got the chance to lay another one on him, a set of arms pulled me off and slammed me against the lockers. My immediate response was to fight back, because my vision was blurred due to my rage, and I could only make out shapes. Strong hands locked my arms tight at my sides.
"What the hell are you doing Tommy?" Monte's voice asked. His grip was tight, but I still tried to free myself- jerking and kicking, without much success.
"I have to- and they- I will kill him!" My crazed shouts this time seemed to freak out Todd this time. He stood up and stumbled backward, bumping into the principle, who I didn't even realize was there.
"What's going on here!" Mr.. Stevenson demanded loudly over all the commotion. Everybody was a little scared of the principle. He was six foot five, with beady eyes and I was convinced he was secretly a Nazi.
Monte let go of me and stepped back into the crowd of people. Todd positioned himself cowardly behind Mr.. Stevenson, smearing the trail of blood pouring from his nose, onto his sleeve. I smirked to myself seeing the surprise on his face. I wanted blood, and I got it.
"He hit me sir." Todd accused. "For no reason."
My blood boiled hearing his lie, and Monte had to step up and restrain me again before I could punch him a second time. There was absolutely not enough words or profanities to describe how much hate I had for the son of a bitch standing before me.
"is that true Mr.. Ratliff?" the principle glared at me.
"Not entirely." I spat, pulling myself free from Montes grip and pointed to Todd. "that-scum bag- vandalized a students locker." I chose my words carefully as I explained. "He wrote fag on Adam Lambert's locker."
Somewhere in the crowed, soft snickers broke out, making my teeth clenched upon hearing them. Mr.. Stevenson looked at Todd, then down the hall towards Adam's locker - with no emotion on his wrinkled face.
"Mr. Butler." He finally said. "Go and see the school nurse right away, your nose may be broken." He paused and Todd staggered off to the school office. "As for you Ratliff, fighting in school is strictly prohibited. Detention. Room 34 now." he pointed down the east hall.
"And writing words like that on a kids locker is?" I spat.
He didn't say anything at all as I glared at him. "You don't even care do you?" I hissed.
Mr. Stevenson sighed. "Mr. Ratliff, I have hardly the time to deal with a small crime such as vandalism when there are students like you who go around punching star athletes around for participants in a practical joke."
"Practical joke!" I lost my cool again. "How is that a fucking practical joke! Whoopee cousins are practical jokes. Kids kill themselves over things like this! Writing such demeaning word on a students locker is sickening! Are you fucking blind!" Jesus Christ!"
Mr. Stevenson's face turned red hot, causing a vein to pop up under the skin on his wide forehead. "You watch that mouth of yours and get yourself to detention now!" The longer I stood there, the redder and more ugly his face became.
After glaring at him for a long three or four seconds, I decided not to say anymore, knowing I would just make things worse on myself. I glanced around the thinning crowd for the set of crystal blue eyes I needed to see, but couldn't find them.
Suddenly I was consumed with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, fearing that my out rage scared him, and he had finally had enough of me, just when I couldn't get enough of him. No matter what though, I could just let those kids do that to him- silently mocking him just because he was being himself, now that was disgusting. Adam had helped me though so much shit that this seemed minor compared to all I had put him through. If there were more people on this planet that were even half as great as Adam, then this world would be a hell of a lot less fucked up. But people were just too blind to see things the way he did.
As I walked down the long twisting hall to the detention room, I felt myself get weaker. It was like every ounce of energy was drained from my body. Being excessively mad at someone was exhausting, but I would do it all over again for Adam. I was starting to get protective of him, which was one reason I went off like I did. I felt the need to protect him after all that had been done to him. Plus my hormones were playing cruel games with my heart that threw my entire system out of wack, which in turn caused my fuse to burn more quickly. I was feeling things I was afraid to admit, even though none of them were ever odd or uncomfortable. They were just different, I wasn't used to feeling things like that. The pure euphoria that I got being with Adam was addictive and intoxicating, which made it hard for me not to think about him. What was it that made me feel so...attracted to him?
I sighed, and snapped back into reality, seeing the dreaded confines of room 34 detention just a few steps ahead of me, and went inside.
~oOo~
For the first time in two and a half weeks I missed practice, and it pissed me off. Detention did absolutely nothing for my inflamed temper except potentially make it worse. Practice was the only damn school function I enjoyed, and I was forced to miss it. Of course it didn't help that show was just two days away and people were starting to get loopy. I wasn't upset that I actually missed practice itself or the fact that the director would have my head, I was made because I didn't get to hear Adam sing. Listening to him was my favorite part of the day, other then being able to look at him, and I hated not getting to hear his skillful voice during practice.
The school was hauntingly quiet when detention let out an hour and a half later. The small few that with me were the only kids left in the barron wasteland of a school. I never realized how spooky the school building was after it was empty. The flickering lights, which were hardly noticeable with a full hall now made the building eerie.
I took no time getting my shit from my locker, wanting out of the prison like building before I exploded. I soon realized I had one hell of a walk a head of me. The thought lingered in my mind and I wasn't too thrilled about the idea. I had been close to two months since I walked home last. But good things had to come to an end sometime or another.
When I opened the glass doors and stepped out into the sun light, I was surprised to be met by Adam in his shinny black mustang. Just seeing him look at me with that crooked smile on my face was enough to make me forget every shitty thing that had happened to day. I felt like I could breath again- suffocating from our separation.
"I thought you could use a ride." Adam smirked peeping over the rim of his dark sun glasses, causing me to laugh. An aura of perfection radiated from him, filling me with happiness as I got into the passenger seat.
We listened to the radio on the way home, and Adam sang the songs he knew with his beautiful voice. I soaked up every note like a sponge with my head against the rest, eyes closed, letting the breeze from the missing top blow away all my worry.
"I was thinking," Adam started, once the current song ended. "Did you wanna come over and start working on that project for Frankes class?"
I nodded, my eyes still closed-relaxing. "Sure."
I probably should have gone home, but after the day I'd had I owed this to myself. "That sounds good." I said with a smile spreading across my face. "I'll just call my mom and let her know where I'm at."
"Awesome."
I could here the grin in his voice as he turned onto his street of perfect houses and emerald green grass.
The last time I was invited to Adams house was on a weekend for a BBQ- which was the most abnormally normal thing I had done in two years. The small get together only consisted of Adam, me and his family and was somewhat odd at first. But it didn't take long though before any uneasy and awkward feelings were completely gone and I felt just like family. Like Adam, his family had a presence about them that made it difficult not to feel welcome and at ease.
Still, every time I came to visit, the house was spotless. Not one thing was ever out of place, and it always smelled fresh and clean. Even though Lelia and Eber welcomed me with open arms, I still felt they were all too good for me. This time when I walked in it was no different. As soon as we entered the tall ceilings foyer, Adam's mom greeted us both with a warming smile and a tight embrace.
"It's good to see you Tommy." She said.
"It's good to see you too." I would always say lamely.
Adam and I went upstairs to his bed room, where there would be no distractions while we worked on our project. His room was the last one down the hall, I peeked into Neil's room as we went by, and to no surprise he was glued to his game console. I didn't understand the attraction of video games, I would much rather sit on my ass and watch a movie or play my guitar all day than stare at a television screen all day until my eyes went numb and my brain came seeping out through my ears. Neil really wasn't a bad kid once I finally go to know him, he was just a typical fifteen year old that thought he knew everything, and wore way too much cologne. I also learned that he was almost the polar opposite of his brother. Adam was free spirited and laid back, where as Neil was easily pissed off and moody.
I dropped my stuff onto the floor when I walked into Adams room. Although the walls were painted a blank white, they were covered with half a dozen posters. The large glossy pictures were all of his favorite singers; ranging form Led Zeppelin to Freddie Mercury from Queen. The room itself was a fairly good size, with a small balcony looking out over the front yard.
His bed was where I placed myself. It was the softest fucking thing I had ever felt, it was like laying on a cloud, and I sighed. The anger and hate was finally out of my system from earlier, even though I knew if I seen Todd in the hallway anytime soon, I would personally take the liberty of removing his head from his shoulders.
"where should we start?" Adam asked, tossing a note book pen and text book onto the bed before climbing on himself.
As he sat cross legged in the center of the fullsized bed, I stretched for the over sized text book. I turned the pages lazily until I came to the chapter I assumed we were studying.
"who the hell know." I grumbled looking at the scattered words on the page.
It read like a foreign language to me, some of the words in the context looked made up and unreal. The two of us and procrastinated for as long as remotely possible, then decided on a working method that would have the best results. Since Adams hand writing could be passed off as art work and mine looked like shit, I read all the seemingly important points aloud while he put it in his own words on paper. The entire process took longer than both of us wanted, and was so painfully lifeless, it made a funeral seem like an amusement park. Nonetheless, we trudged through the agony, only to come out yawning.
My eyes had only fallen shut a moment when Adam finished. "there." he yawned. "that mother fucker's done."
"Glory hallelujah!" I gowned smacking the book shut and tossed it to the carpeted floor.
Adam fell backward with a sigh, and I placed myself beside him on my stomach. Even with him just laying there it was easy to see both his inner and outer beauty. My eyes wondered over his body memorizing ever curve and how his gray t-shirt loosely fell off his torso. I was mezmoried by the simple action of his chest rising and falling as he took each soft breath; three wasn't a single flaw anywhere to be seen. I allowed my eyes to roam over his body a little longer, then stopped myself before I could blush.
Instead I attempted to focus on something other then Adam, which was a hell of a lot harder then it should have been.
My eyes scanned the walls, moving from poster to poster, stealing a glance Adams way every once in a while. He looked so peaceful that it made me smile until my mindless gazing landed on the digital clock on his desk across the room.
"Shit!" I cursed, rolling off the bed and onto the plush floor with a thud. Adam sat up quickly, startled by my sudden out burst.
"What!" he looked at me frantically.
"I forgot to call my mom." I explained. "can I use your phone?"
Adam scooted off the bed and walked over to the cordless phone and handed it to me. "yeah here."
"thanks."
I swiftly dialed my home number, nervously tapping my foot as I waited for my mother to answer. The ear piercing ring sounded four times be for she picked up on the other end.
"Hello?" My mothers groggy voice said. There was something unsettling in her voice.
"Mom it's me. Are you okay?" I asked.
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone and imagined her shaking her head yes.
"Yeah, I. . .um. . .fell asleep on the uh the couch." She finally said. "Ron-Tommy where are you? Why are you not home?" her voice turned panicky
"Calm down, I'm at Adams-"
"Who?"
"Adam Lambert? I'm at his house. Okay? We are working on a school project. I'll be home soon." When I finished explaining there was a long pause again.
"Okay. Bye"
She hung up the phone so quickly I didn't have time to say anything else. The phone lingered at my ear for a second, then my finger pressed the 'end' button on the keypad. I held the device in my palm for a while, just staring at it- trying to decide if what I was feeling was paranoia or my gut instinct telling me something was wrong. Her voice didn't sound slurred like it normally did when she was drunk, she just sounded tired like she said.
"Is your mom okay?" Adam asked softly.
I thought a moment longer then answered. "I think she is just tired." I said, hoping to convince myself.
Relived, Adam laid back on the bed like before. I got up and put the phone back on his desk, knocking over a picture of Adam with his dad. That was when I realized I had never told him what happened to mine. Even from the beginning he didn't ask about my father, and I guessed I had always planed on telling him in the back of my mind. But the timing had always felt off. After all, we trusted each other. Monte was the only one that I ever told about what happened, because I knew when it happened those two years ago eveyone would treat me different. I liked being ignored most of the time,and when people felt sorry for you all they did was cling to you- I did not want any part of that. I trusted Adam full heartedly so it would be easy to tell him, not to gain his sympathy, but to let him know that I was comfortable enough around him to talk about it.
"Adam can I tell you something?" I said after a long period of thinking and looking at the picture of Eber and Adam.
I put myself back on the middle of the matress, and Adam propped himself up with his fore arm. Our eyes met, and I knew in that instant I would always trust him.
"What's wrong." he asked after a while of me just gazing into his cobalt eyes.
I sighed. "I wanna tell you something I've never really told anyone."
A/N: Muahahaha! a Cliff hanger!...okay not really but still...this chapter and the next one i think are my favorite, idk why but i love them...lol so yes ;) Leave me a review cuz you know i love you all *heart* follow me on twitter if you don't already Glampire92 and if you wanna follow my friend 'Jaz' on twitter {she is Glambert obviously} GLITTERbaby93. Let me know what you thought! xD
*And to those of you who may have caught my rant on twitter about me getting pissed off while I was writing this chapter, it was because I cant stand ppl like my character Todd Butler. Both his character and the principle were making me mad, and I was the one that wrote it...haha but still, I think ppl need to get over their differences and things like that because it is just stupid. Hopefully now you know why i was grouchy the other day. *NOH8*
**On a lighter note...thank you to all my beautiful reviewers! you all have a very special place in my heart!
~Jackie
