**DISCLAIMER**

Adam: Where did your friends go? (looks around)

Me: (shrugs) I sent them away, it was getting to complicated with them here too.

Adam: (nodds) Oh, (smiles) By the way, I really enjoyed chapter seven.

Me: (surprised) Really?

Adam: Yeah, it was sweet.

Me: (blushes) I hoped you'd like it.

Adam: It was great. Tommy even liked it!

Me: (shocked) Really?

Adam: (grins) Yep.

Tommy: (walks in, upset.) Did you already tell her?

Adam: Yes.

Tommy: I wanted to! (stomps foot)

Me: You've secretly liked it all along haven't you?

Tommy: No! I just liked this chapter.

Adam: (sarcasticaly) Yeah because you'd punch a guy in the face for me.

Tommy: (seriously) Of course I would!

Adam & Me: (surprised) Really?

Tommy: (annoyed) Yeah... as long as the ass hole deserved it. . .

Adam: Aww, thats so sweet Glitterbaby!

Me: (to the readers) Enjoy the next chapter! Please leave me a review while Adam and I give Tommy a big bare hug!

Tommy: (eyes grow wide) Wait, what?


~Chapter Eight~

"Take me, this is all that I've got,

This is all that I'm not, all that I'll ever be,

I've got flaws, I've got faults

Keep searching for your perfect heart

It doesn't matter who you are

We all have our scars, we all have our scars."

**FLASHBACK**

It was hot, sweltering even. Entirely too hot for October even for sunny California. Sure the weather stayed moderately warm year round, but this heat wasn't natural. I was convinced it was a sign from the devil himself. I couldn't remember the last time fall weather felt like summer. The blinding sun beat down on the top of my head, causing a constant trickle of sticky sweat to run down my face. The only thing I wanted to do was get home and take a nice long cold shower.

It was times like this, that I missed that old car more than ever. The white ford really wasn't anything to be proud of, but at least I could drive it and get home faster than walking in this dry heat. Of course now I didn't have a choice. The car had been totaled in an accident a couple months ago, which meant I had to walk to and from school ever fucking day. I guessed it really wouldn't have been that much of a problem if one: it wasn't so fucking hot and two: I didn't have to carry all kinds of shit home. My book bag weighed about as much as I did- which was ridiculous, and cumbersome guitar case wasn't much easier to lug around. I always had the option of riding the bus home, but frankly the idea of walking thirty some blocks was more appealing.

When I got to my street, I compressed a sigh. This neighborhood used to be one of the nicer places to live on the east side of Los Angeles, but all it took was some gang activity to begin to ruin it. Slowly it was morphing in to slums; full of crack houses. Even the sided walk seemed to be affected by the dramatic changes. Every day the cracks grew a little longer and the holes a little deeper. Soon walking would be a strenuous activity.

As I turned onto the small pathway that lead to our front porch, I realized how much the grass needed cut. Lawn care had always been my dad's job, leaving all the inside work to my mother and I. Lately though, all of his chores had become mine since the accident because of the medication he had been taking. The prescription was to his violent mood swings, but the only thing the drugs had succeeded in doing was making depressed and irritable. Most of the time he just sat in his arm chair, staring blankly off into space with a sorrowful expression. Sometimes I wondered if he was even there at all, or if he had finally succumbed to his vacant mind.

The door knob stuck when I reached for it- making my frame of mind even more uptight. By the third try I got it to work and I entered my house. The same old house aroma filled my nose, along with something stronger and pungent.

Mom was busy in the kitchen cooking dinner, slaving over a pot of what smelled like chili. Why on earth would she decide to make chili when it was a hundred and ninety degrees outside? I shrugged and let the thought pass. I like her chili.

I dropped my stuff at the foot of the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Mom looked tired and stressed, but she still pushed herself onward. Looking for a part time job was slowly draining every oune of energy from her, not to mention all the house hold chores she had to do. I helped has much as I could, but it still never seemed to really do much. I wasn't about to lie to myself, I knew as well as she did that we needed the money. Dads salary just wasn't cutting it anymore. She left the same time every morning with my father in a taxi to go job hunting, then some how managed to get home in time to cook supper for me and my father.

I walked over to her, and wrapped my arms around her small frame. She jumped slightly from my unexpected touch, then laughed.

"Smells good." I complimented.

"Thank you." she smiled.

"How was job hunting?" I asked keeping my arms wrapped around her waist and my chin resting on her shoulder. The smile on her face faded and turned into a frown.

"Not good." she sighed, stirring the pot.

"There's always tomorrow." I said lightly, kissing her cheek and unlocking my grasp. "Dad not home yet?" I continued, looking at the clock in the living room. My father was usual home by now, unless he had errands to run.

Mom shrugged and kept stirring. "He must have gotten stuck in traffic."

I watched the wooden spoon swoop back and forth in the large pot of chili for a few seconds, then decided I needed to wash the sticky coat of sweat from my skin.

"I'm gonna take a shower." I told her.

"okay, be quick. This is almost done."

I smiled at her, and squeezed her tightly before going up stairs. My mother had been so stressed since the accident, taking care of my father, taking care of me and trying to find a job. I didn't know what I would ever do without her.

The old stairs creeked and cracked as I made my way to the bathroom in the upstairs hallway. Oddly, the door was closed, which only happened if it was occupied. From the small slit where the floor dipped below the bottom of the door, light peeked out. With a look of confusion on my features, I cautiously turned the door knob and opened up the a bloody massacre.

My entire world froze around me, trapping me in a deadly stillness that made me dizzy. Blood stained the white floor in an vivid crimson color, but was becoming a sickly brown hue as the substance started to dry up. The horrid metallic smell of blood mixed with the stench of decaying flesh filled my nose and I felt sick at my stomach. I was over come by a wave of light headedness that made me stumble and I had to fight to keep myself standing. I gripped the marble countertop, allowing my weakening knees more support. My stomach churned in a sickening flip and it took everything in me to keep from getting sick. Inside me heart raced, drumming loudly in my ears that I could hardly her. I felt feverish as I gazed at the scene before me. It was like something out of my favorite horror movies, only there was no makeup, this was all very real.

My father was on the floor, blood pooling under his his head. In his right had was a small caliber pistol, which he had used to put a bullet straight through his head. Red stained the broken mirror, which the bullet made on its exit from my fathers skull, and the shattered pieces piled in the sink. His green eyes were wide open, staring at me in a lifeless trance that froze me to the core. His stillness was eerie and my skin turned cold and clammy as my stomach flipped again. This time I wasn't going to be able to keep from getting sick if I stood there any longer.

Dazed and confused, I staggered out of the small room as fast as possible, tripping over my own feet. Warm tears welled up in my eyes and made it hard to see straight.I had to get out of the house. I didn't stop running until I was back out in the searing heat on the sidewalk.

My mother was at my side almost instantly upon seeing me rush out of the house.

"Tommy?" she asked. "What's wrong."

I shook my head, the words unable to form in my throat as I fought back tears. She attempted to calm me by rubbing my shoulders and embracing my shaking body. My mother knew it took a lot to scar me -a whole fucking lot.

"Tell me." she coaxed softly. "What is it."

I didn't want to tell her, it was too horrible. After all that we had already been through, after all that she had delt with already, she didn't need this too.

"Dad- In the bathroom-" I choked out.

I fell to the ground and out of her grasp feeling sick again. I hugged my knees closely as if to hold together the breaking pieces. My mother went to investigate, then out of the still air came a shrill ear piercing scream that I would never have the joy of vanishing from my mind, and I began to cry.

**END FLASHBACK**

Adam stared at me from across the bed, his blue eyes lined with sadness and sympathy.

"After that, it went down hill for both of us." I continued, pulling at a loose thread in comforter.

I glanced up to see the shimmering trail of a fallen tear streak down his cheek from his beautiful eye. I blinked back my own salty tears, and rolled up the sleeve of my sweat shirt, which was an action I very rarely did. On the inside of my arm, were the veins were closest to my skin, were over a dozen scars from puncture wounds.

"I tried to fix it all by getting high, and my mother tried with alcohol." I explained. "It worked for a while I guess, but soon I realized in order for mom to sober up, I had to get clean."

I rolled my sleeve back down, and Adam didn't speak or move, he just looked at me.

"I'm so sorry." he finally said.

"Don't be." I shrugged. "That is the last thing I want. It's all in the past anyway. Life goes on. . ."

I paused a moment, my mind tracing back to that horrible day- still able to smell and feel every second of it. There was so much that slipped my mind, and yet I remembered ever fine detail of that day. What I ate for breakfast, what the lecture was over in all my classes, all of it was trapped in my brain forever.

". . .I just wish I was as lucky as you are." I added.

The reaction to my statement was not the one I was expecting form him. The sorrow in his features faded and turned to puzzlement. "What?"

I shrugged. "You have the perfect life. You've got amazing talent, a beautiful home, and your family is awesome. Life is so much easier for you."

Adam shook his head, looking down at the bed. "Don't envy me. My life isn't perfect." he corrected quietly. "Okay, so I have a big house, so I can sing. So what? My parents can't stand each other Tommy. All they ever do is fight, and half the time I wonder if it is because of me. We only play happy family. It's just an act. That's what you're supposed to do in LA right?" he stopped and I could tell I had upset him.

"I didn't mean to-" I began to apologize.

"No, it's okay. That needed to come out of my system." he paused, and I waited to say something incase he had more to add.

"Did I ever tell you what happened before my family moved all the way form Indiana to here?"

I shook my head.

"I was hospitalized because I tried to off myself."

Adam removed the black wrist band he always wore to reveal four ghostly white marks on his skin. My breath caught as I gazed at he jagged scars.

"That's the main reason why we moved. I wanted to get as far away from that place as possible." he explained. "I almost died because I let some dumb ass kid make me think I was disgusting and useless. And today when I noticed my locker after class, I relapsed. Every memory from my old school and what I delt with there flooded back into my brain. It was horrible. . ." He paused. " . . . But then you stood up for me, and all those awful feelings went away, and I realized it didn't matter what those kids thought, because you believed I a was so much better."

His hypnotic eyes, pained and venerable, gazed endlessly into mine. "Having you here," he said. "has helped me forget it all. So thank you."

Adam's eyes were close to tears when he finished, making the blue even more liquid and sparkly. Words I wanted to say right then, emotions and feelings I wanted to express stayed tucked away inside of me for the fear of ruining this beautiful moment. It would have been a great time to tell him, but rejection kept me from saying anything. I realized that we were perfect matches for each other. He needed me because I was open minded and accepted him the way he was, and I needed him as a crutch to lean on when things got hard. We both had pasts to be ashamed of, and permanent reminders etched into our skin. We could have so much more together, but I couldn't stand the thought of loosing what we already had.

"You don't have to thank me." I told him, not breaking eye contact. "You're my friend; I couldn't let those jerks do that to you."

He smiled slightly. "Then I'm sorry you got detention for it."

I shook my head, "Don't be. I would do it all over again for you."

Suddenly, the intensity in his eyes changed, hearing those words come out of my mouth. Blue locked with brown as his face moved closer to mine. My heart started racing, and for a moment I forgot about what could happen if things went too far. Adams face stopped short of mine, allowing his arousing sent to drift into my nose. It was intoxicating to say the least. The fragrance made my head dizzy and my thoughts cloudy.

"Tommy I-" he whispered softly, leaning nearer, his eye starting to fall shut. My heart was pounding by the second, and I felt my own eyelids begin to droop. The anticipation swelled up in my throat, making it difficult to breathe correctly. I wanted to taste those lips on mine, feel their soft pink skin on mine. . .

"Thank you." Adam said quickly.

Confused, I opened my eyes to see that he was sitting back on his side of the bed, biting his bottom lip and picking at his nail polish.

My heart sank and I suppressed a sigh. Had I imagined the entire thing? Was I really that desperate? It felt so real, and I doubted my ability to conjure up such a heart stopping situation. I wasn't that creative. Even if I was real, he stopped at the last minute, and it just added to what I already figured. It wasn't going to work like that between us.

"You're welcome." I sighed lamely.

It fell quiet around us, and I glanced at the clock on Adam's desk.

"Maybe I should head home." I suggested, breaking the silence. Adam looked over his shoulder, reading the digital display on the small clock.

"Don't go yet." He pleaded when I got off the bed. "It's not even eight o'clock."

The smooth skin on his finger tips brushed against my hand, sending a wave of electricity through my body. Every hair on the back of my neck stood up and my skin tingled. I turned to gaze at him, and his eyes met mine with less intensity then before. He broke the stare and glanced over to the spot by the door where I dropped my stuff earlier.

"Let's practice." He coaxed. "Play me songs from the show and I'll sing."

I smiled at the idea, he knew I wouldn't be able to resist a chance to play my bass and listen to him sing.

For over an hour I strummed a verity of different songs, some from the play, others that we both knew by heart, and Adam sang. The poor acoustics in his bedroom didn't do justice to his Godly voice, but it was still the most amazing sound my ears had ever heard.

Time passed too quickly, and soon I was back in the passenger seat of Adam's mustang going back to my house. The ride was quiet and peaceful with the soft hum of the engine.

"Same time tomorrow?" Adam asked- like always, as I pulled my things from the back seat of his car.

I smiled getting out, "I'll be waiting." I assured him. "Good night Adam" I added closing the door.

His blue eyes sparkled. "Good night Tommy."

He drove away after one last glance and I watched until I lost sight of the sleek black sports car.

A familiar smell met me when I walked into the house, but it was faintly different. I left my stuff in its usual place by the foot of the stairs and went and check my mother's hiding places- where she kept her boos- only to come up empty handed. I stopped and considered the age of the house and the wet weather we had had lately. Surely the odor was due to the structures age and the recent rain. But something still seemed slightly off. It couldn't have been alcohol, I would have recognized that stink. I brushed it off, and made my way upstairs. I didn't want to dwell on it.

My mother was fast asleep in her bed, with the blankets curled up under her chin when I checked on her. On the small bed side table was a half empty bottle of water. It had to have been paranoia I was feeling down stairs. My mother could barely stand when she was wasted, let alone crawl into bed.

A heavy weight lifted from my shoulders, and I retreated to my own room not bothering to turn on any lights. I stripped from my jacket and t shirt and got into bed. I hadn't realized how tired I was until I was comfortable under the covers. Hopefully tomorrow would be better, but that was probably too much to hope for. Plus if I saw Todd again tomorrow I would probably punch him again. My thought drifted off again as my eyes fell shut and sleep consumed me, filling my mind with dreams instead of nightmares.


A/N: okay so i'm sorry that it took me a little while to post this one...i got really busy...and sorta lazy im not gonna lie..lol i was gone all week end staying with my friends, just to let you know, tattooing your body at 2 am with ink pens is a bad idea...cuz it doesn't wanna come off. xDD any who...i love this chapter too! the next one gets interesting so be sure to stay tuned, i love all you guys soooo much... xD

*random alert!* If you like musical and or slasher movies, watch Repo! The Genetic Opera i watched it three times this weekend its just that good and i had to tell you about it!

**And like always i wanna thank my readers for their awesome feed back! you have no idea how much it means to me! xD Keep it up!

***lastly, if any one has a good idea for and Adommy one shot i can write, i'm looking for ideas! PM me subject: "one shot"

LOVE YOU GUYS! *heart*

~Jackie