A.N. I AM ALIVE! I know, shocking...but let's just say Yr12 is nuts and I'm going through all these interviews to get into the Navy (and it's at least looking kind of promising :D) but yes, I've been working my butt off but recently our internet has been down so it's given me a push to actually write this for you guys :) I also said that this chapter would be it and it was until about 10 minutes ago when I wrote it and it just decided to keep going. Next chapter will be out sooner though ;)

So I really do hope this chapter makes up for the wait, although it is rather short, the next shall be longer (I promise). So please review! And let me know what you think...:D

Disclaimer: Yeah yeah yeah, I don't own them...and I even asked for my birthday :(


I wanted to be overly dramatic and soppy and say my life hadn't been the same since I got home but that would just be stating the obvious. Of course it was different, I wasn't waking up at six every single morning, wasn't always either too hot or too cold and I wasn't constantly avoiding someone or trying to bump into them inconspicuously or trying to resist touching them with every ounce of my ability or feeling their touch on me like fire. I wanted to be hopelessly romantic and say my heart ached for her all time, that I constantly thought about her and that I wouldn't feel whole again until I was with her. But really I just missed her.

I wasn't all those things because that whole week, that whole time where Emily was on the forefront of my mind felt so surreal that I couldn't ache for her with me, I didn't even know what it would feel like to have her with me outside of that environment. All we had talked about was cadets and what we wanted to do. I couldn't want her outside of cadets because she was Emily and she was stuck in the past.


I wasn't focussing as Ma'am talked to us all at end of night parade. I don't think any of the females were. Most were preoccupied with staring at the Regular Army guy who had appeared shirtless and laughing from the second story window of the building in front of us. Most of them were running their eyes over his muscled body and admiring his 'totally cute' smile. Me, I was remembering. It happened often, more than I would like to admit and probably more than was healthy but I couldn't help it. I'd be standing on parade, my uniform crisp and perfect and all I would feel would be the way her hands ran across my skin, the way her face had looked out the back window of that stupid bus as it drove away.

Sometimes I'd try to bring her away from camp. I'd try and picture her in my room, how'd she look laying on my bed, her confident and cheeky smile in place as she looked around at everything there, but that's as far as it ever went so instead I let my thought travel into the past, where Emily did whatever she wanted to me in that cold hootchie.

My thoughts didn't waver as we marched fifteen paces, the movement easy and repetitive enough that I didn't have to take my mind off her brown eyes and flashing red hair.

My head flicked around fast. I was sure it couldn't be real, the flash of red that just caught my eyes but I was grasping at straws after weeks of not talking to her, seeing her, touching her, so I turned my head, ignoring the disapproving glare of the officer.

It had to be her, her bright red hair reflecting and making my chest tighten. Just the sight of her nearly two hundred metres away was doing crazy things to me and if I wasn't so undeniably eager to see her I'd be scared at my own body's reactions. Everything about her pulled me in so that it felt like every single one of my atoms was leaning in towards her.

I stumbled and everyone else saluted.

Marching suddenly seemed way to slow as I saw her disappear into the office before I was off the parade ground. I wanted to run. I wanted to make sure it was her. I wanted to yell 'fuck you' to everyone standing around us and kiss her.

Instead I walked over slowly.

Sure, part of the reason was so I didn't draw attention to myself but more than that I was scared. I was terrified. Emily had made me feel so much in the shortest amount of time. Looking back now I can barely comprehend feeling like that, barely justify what we did and how intense it got between us. I was terrified because there were only two possible outcomes of her being here. Either outside of that army environment the feelings would be muted and I wouldn't feel half as much for her as I had back then, or I would feel exactly the same and I wouldn't ever be able to let her go. Having Emily Fitch constantly in my life would be catastrophic. Amazing and beautiful and heart wrenching but catastrophic. I couldn't even imagine that much feeling in everyday life.

I knocked and tried to hide my shaking hands in my pockets.

"Hands out of your pockets," one of the officers grumbled at me as he pulled open the door. I tried to lean around him to see inside but I couldn't see her. Only our OC talking to someone behind a door. Talking to her...if it even was her. My confidence in that small fact was waning the longer I stood out here in the dark. "Was there anything you need?" pockets-officer asked me.

I tried to grab one more look around the door but I couldn't see anything. Emily being here made no sense anyway, she lived north of here, safe with her parents and sister and not here with me at all. I must have just been delusional and I shook my head in response to his question and walked to my car dejectedly. I needed to get a decent nights sleep and stop living in the past.

Or I needed to get completely fucked.

I got out my phone and dialled a familiar number.

"Hey, keen to go out tonight?" I asked, knowing already what the answer was going to be, Cook never turned down a night out.

"Course Blondie," his rough voice garbled through the phone. "Let's get fucking mental."


Because Cook is just way to awesome to be kept out of this ;)

REVIEW my readers :) I hope you enjoyed it!