Chapter 4

Her eyes are hypnotizing / her voice is mesmerizing

Santana's date with 'blue star' was less than appealing as usual. She didn't seem to flirt back with him or laugh at his overly corny jokes. She merely sat there like a frog on a log, unmoving and uncaring about much he had to say.

He chewed wildly with his mouth halfway open showing his dinner to Santana who merely cringed at him and sighed as she thought about Brittany and cheerleading, though her mind was more on Brittany than anything else.

She thought of the way Brittany pulled her hair back in pony tails to exercise, she had pulled her hair back earlier that day when she found out she was a cheerleader and had work outs with Santana. She thought about the way Brittany chewed on her pencil when she was clueless to a question in class, which Santana found was more often than none. She thought about the random quirky comments she said when she was with Santana, especially the cat reading her diary one. But mostly, Santana thought about the pinky loop they had done walking down the hallway. No one seemed to notice them holding pinkies and if they did see no one cared. To the outside world they were just friends on their way to class, no harm done. Yet, as Santana looked into her date's seemly non-deep, un-blue eyes she couldn't help but wonder if Brittany could ever be more than a friend.

"…So, that's how I made my first touch down." Santana came back to Earth as her date talked about football. He was one of the most popular kids in school, known for being a badass and slushie fiend as well as a top football player; Santana figured he was the top of the top to be with. Yet, she wasn't as attracted to him as she thought.

"What's your name again?" She asked.

"Noah, but I go by Puck…It's my last name…Puckerman."

"I got it."

"Yeah, so…sweet thing, how about me and you, ya know…"

"No, I don't know. You think you can just buy me dinner and I'd go home with you? Is that the price this meal is really costing me? Because let's get real here Pucky, you're not worth my time."

"Then why go out with me? Please woman, I am the Puckzilla. I can make girls fall to bits with one touch. Badass number one. That's me baby, that's me."

Santana folded her arms across her chest. Puck sighed figuring his plan to get Santana into bed wasn't going to work he pulled out his wallet and paid for the meal. He stood up from the booth and sighed again.

"It's a shame, being with me could get you to the number one spot."

"Number one spot?"

"I'm the cure for everything baby, popularity, ugly current boyfriends. I am the Puckz…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. But I'm on the cheerleading squad, why would I want to…"

"What's better than a Cheerio and a jock? Think about it, we can go far…"

Santana thought for a moment, though her thoughts were collided with images of Brittany. She shook off the feeling and eyed Puck.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"We're an item now, me and you, but don't get to comfortable. You're only temporary."

"We'll see."

The next day…

Santana and Puck entered the school building together, Puck's arm rested over Santana's shoulders. She caught eyes of everyone she passed in the hallway who seemed to be nodding in approval of the new couple.

"Told ya babe, with me you'll go far." Puck whispered to her.

Santana rolled her eyes and spotted Brittany at her locker, she smiled to herself and pushed Puck's arm from around her.

"I see a friend, see you later." She said without waiting for Puck to reply. She skipped happily down the hallway towards Brittany.

"Hey, BritBrit."

"Hey, San." She said cheerfully, "We get our uniforms today. We can say goodbye to our regular clothes and say hello to uniforms."

"I'll miss my hot girl chic look." Santana said with a playful frown.

"I'll miss it too! But I'll miss my i-don't-care-I'm-hotter-than-you chic the most." Brittany and Santana shared a laugh that quickly ended when Santana spotted Joey walking towards them.

"Hey Joey." Santana said. Brittany turned to look at Joey and smiled at her. Joey frowned.

"Hi."

"This is Brittany, Brittany this is my best friend Joey."

"Nice to meet you." Brittany said.

"Ditto, Santana may I have a word with you?"

"Sure…"

Joey pulled Santana away from Brittany who eyed them closely.

"What's up?" Santana asked.

"I called you last night…"

"Oh, I had just come back from my date with Puck. We're sort of a 'couple' now but don't go spreading that around. I'm not all that into him, just bored."

"You didn't call me back, because…?" Joey asked, ignoring Santana's comment.

"Was it important?"

Joey sighed.

"No, I guess not." Joey turned to walk away then stopped herself, "You know the reason why you are always bored with boys is because you're playing the wrong field."

"What?" Santana felt her throat go dry.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I mean look at me but…"

"No, no, you stop that. I am not…" Santana looked around and leaned closer to where only Joey could hear, "gay. I am not. Not even a little bit. I like guys okay? I just get bored, I don't know why and I don't care but I'm not gay."

"How sure are you?"

"I'm extremely sure, how dare you?"

"What?"

"Not every girl is gay Joey."

"I didn't say that…"

"You didn't have to, you implied it. You think I don't notice the stares you give me?"

"Whoa, slow your roll there Santana…"

"No, I get it. You hate that I have a boyfriend and want to make it seem like it's something it's not."

"I was merely stating my opinion."

"Your opinion has no effect."

"Really? Then if I'm so off base, so incredibly wrong why are you getting so defensive?"

Santana opened her mouth to say something then closed it and folded her arms across her chest and turned her head away from Joey.

"Santana, its okay to be who you are. I won't judge you; seriously you should know it…"

"Everyone in this damn school judge, they'll judge the people you hang around the way you walk and talk and everything in between. I don't want to be that kid in the cafeteria we saw the other day, Joey. That's not who I am." Santana now had tears falling slowly down her face, "I want to be the girl that other girls fear and boys want to date. And I'll get that being with Puck and being on the Cheerios, but I won't get that with you."

Joey stepped back, shocked at what she just heard.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"No, I'm serious Joey. You are my bestest friend and I love you, but I can't right now. I just can't…"

"Santana…"

"I'm a freshman, Joey! A nobody and I'm trying to make a name for myself before it gets ruined."

"You are getting a name for yourself, a jackass."

"You'll never understand."

"You're right I won't, because I'm happy to be who I am. I'm proud and gay and one day you're going to be who you are and you will be happy with it and not care what others think. And you know why Santana?" Santana shifted her weight to one foot still letting tears roll down her face, "Because you'll finally be able to accept that you're not like the rest of these wannabees at this school. You're something special, Santana. And it sickens me that you're throwing away three years of friendship because you're scared Santana. But you know what? I'm not scared. I'm proud and gay, and I'm not scared."

Joey turned to exit Santana only to be met by Puck who held a slushie in his hand.

"I was going down my slushie list I see that you didn't make the list…"

Joey sighed, "I see…"

Puck looked at Santana, "Is this your friend, Santana?"

Santana looked at Joey and opened her mouth to speak but it was Joey's voice that answered.

"No, we're not friends."

"Cool." Puck threw the slushie on Joey's face, "See you later tonight babe." He said to Santana and walked off whistling.

Joey wiped the slushie from her eyes and looked at Santana. "Guess this makes me a loser, huh?"

"Joey, I..."

"Well one day you're going to be a loser like me."

Joey walked off, her head held high. Santana felt abashed and walked in the opposite direction, ignoring Brittany who had heard everything.


Author's Note: I honestly don't know how this was going to turn out. I know this is kind of dramatic but I think it adds to Santana's character and you could possibly see why she is the way she is. At least that's the way I see it. Review please ! :)