GASP. So – much – school – work! So little time to write. I know, I know, the updates are slow but I don't even get a good night's sleep, let alone time to write. The most I can amount to as it is right now is staring into the wall. And I have a cold. But I'll try. I really will.
(And uh yeah, I know nothing about pay-phones either, so just go with it.) And Mr. Snufflepop is kind of an inside joke. Or, not really a joke. More of an inside thing. Not that the dude who shares this inside thing with me reads fanfiction. Or watches Beyblade. But that's unimportant matters.
Review, I know you want to. Even though this chapter is weak. (Promise I'll try harder.)
Chapter Three
Stifled Scream
It seemed like waking up wasn't really my thing. It hadn't worked out well the previous times I'd done it and this time... well, it wasn't all that pleasant. I couldn't tell which time of day it was, the darkness around being constant and unchanging. Whenever it was, it was much too soon to rise and shine. Although, this opinion wasn't shared by everyone.
Something wet and sharp kept licking me, like sandpaper against my skin and it wasn't just the pain that woke me, the stench was unbelievable as well. Like the mix of rotten carcasses and cat food climbed up my nostrils, scratching at my consciousness till I bolted awake. It would have been just as effective as setting me on fire, I was awake in an instance, and not at all happy.
Glaring around me, trying to find the guilty, I wasn't all prepared for what I saw. Large, sly, moonlike eyes stared at me in question, a face full of fur and wonder. As the fat Tonkinese slapped its tail against the dirty floor, I couldn't help but feel a little spooked. The cat tilted its head, cunning schemes forming behind its eyes. I shivered, but didn't dare move.
''Mrreow''
The fat ball of fur stretched its chubby legs, walking over to me as soundless as a dream. Soon the thick, furry tail caressed my cold skin, and I found that even though the little fellow unnerved me, he was the only company I had. I tried a mellow smile, and my new friend purred in pleasure.
''Hi there, you''
The fur was soft and smooth under my fingers, becoming the only warm thing in the entire world. Scratching the cat's chin, I felt a collar hidden somewhere in its silk like fur. It looked weirdly at me as I fished it out in the open, and soon I could make out words on the red leather. Words that formed a name.
''Mr. Snufflepop..?''
''Meeow!''
I looked disbelievingly at him.
''Your name is Mr. Snufflepop?''
Mr. Snufflepop gave me a look as if to say, 'Like your name is any better'. I frowned, but the glare he was giving me made me leave the subject untouched. Instead I collected him in my arms, cuddling the little ball, bathing in warmth that felt a hundred years away. I couldn't have been gone for that long, and yet it felt like a lifetime since someone warmed me. Even if my only friend in the entire world right then was a cat, it was a lot better than being alone with my ghosts.
But my ghosts and Mr. Snufflepop weren't my only company I soon realized as I could hear footsteps again. I never heard a door open or close, it was as if the steps came out of nowhere, born in the dark before dying in the silence. I tensed momentarily. Not knowing what would jump at me I involuntarily cradled the cat in my arms as if to protect it.
But fearing the worst I was both pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised to see Boris emerge from the shadows. Pleasantly because if it had been a stranger, I had even less of an idea of what to expect from the situation. Unpleasantly because I was angry he still kept me there, and he didn't look to happy himself. Swearing and muttering under his breath he threw his jacket angrily at the floor, sitting down in the tattered grey-or-green-armchair which I hadn't noticed before, glaring at me in hostility.
I raised suspicious eyebrows, my eyes narrowing as I wasn't too sure of whether I could trust him or not. Mr. Snufflepop mewled, before with a slight hiss he leapt out of my arms and darted off into the void. His footsteps were soundless so I couldn't know for sure, but somehow I felt like he didn't leave the room, his crystal eyes still watching me. But that feeling could have been Boris though, who didn't seem intent on dropping me with his eyes.
Lighting a cigarette he blew some smoke into my face before glowering a little more.
''That stunt you pulled yesterday was not a smart one.'' He said, with a cold voice too distant to care, yet too bothered to ignore the problem at hand.
And this was when I realised I didn't know him. Simple things like what was his favourite food? What did he want to be when he was little? What's his favourite animal? What colour does he like the most? Is he allergic to something? What's the funniest memory he has? What was his childhood like? Where did he grow up? Okay, the last one I knew, but the rest of it was all a mystery. Who was Boris Kuznetsov? Who had he been and why was he staring at me with that look in his eyes?
''No one can know that you're here, you understand that? No one.''
I frowned, suspicious as ever as of what was on his mind, if anything really was. For all I knew he could as well have been acting on some maniacal whim. Perhaps there wasn't even anyone out to get me. Perhaps he was just pretending that we were in grave danger. Okay, bad thinking. I'm sure Boris wasn't so sick in the head he would fake a gang fight just to lock me up in a dark and cold room. Really. That was just absurd… right?
''Who are you so afraid of?''
His glare intensified now, like he was barely keeping himself from killing me and drinking my blood. But I didn't let that bother me, I refused to let my guard down even though my leg hurt and my skin felt colder by the minute. Even though I was scared, hungry and tired, I wouldn't let him win, whatever sick game we played.
''I mean it, Kon. Keep out of the corridor until I come back.''
''Why? What's going on?''
''That's none of your business.''
''That's very well my fucking busi – '' I didn't get further in my infuriated cry before Boris leaped towards me, clasping a hand harshly over my mouth, keeping the sound in and the air out.
With as much suspicion as myself he glared towards some corner of the room that I couldn't see, tense as if waiting, his arm impossible to pry off even if I hadn't been injured. I listened to the silence, and for a slight moment I thought I could hear his heartbeat. Which was rather silly, considering up until then I hadn't thought Boris even had a heart.
But if he didn't, then why would he have saved me? I looked up at the man, the true enigma of Boris Kuznetsov still leaning above me. A fair sight to behold. Whatever mystery he was, I felt some strange, uncontrollable urge within me to discover that mystery. Some odd hunger or thirst inside of me, waiting to be stilled. I didn't know how long that feeling had been there, or even how it got there in the first place. All I knew was that as much as I wanted my freedom, I wanted the answer to the question the Russian had become.
Voices came from outside the room, I assumed since they sounded far off and distant. Like as if coming out from a tin can. Boris' glare thinned, and with it my body tensed. Dangerously close to him, his body felt surprisingly warm, yet his eyes were so cold. It was like being burned and frostbitten at the same time. I wasn't sure what to feel, but my heart seemed intent on beating the life out of me.
The voices grew more distant then, and as they died out completely Boris let out a breath I hadn't even noticed him holding. Leaning away from me now, he brought his cigarette to his mouth again as he leaned over his legs, annoyance flooding his features. I gave him a peculiar look, wondering what that had been all about. Before I had time to mouth the question though, he hushed at me.
''Don't ask. Just do as I say and keep out of that corridor.''
As he stood up, my brain worked desperately to try to figure out just what was going on. Was it possible that Boris was the only one who knew I was here? Had he kept me a secret from his own comrades, who ever they were? This thought sickened me, coldness filling me, making my very spine curl in shivers.
''Boris!'' I hissed with a voice something much like a whisper. ''Boris what's – ''
Without a warning he grabbed me harshly by the collar, hissing loudly in my ear, words dripping with poison as his warm breath danced across my skin.
''Keep – out – of – the – fucking – corridor''
I blinked, a little shocked at the tone in his voice. He threw me relentlessly to the ground, snorting as he walked away. It wasn't until after he had gone, that I managed to actually catch up with reality. His smoke-stained breath still lingering in my nostrils, I shivered yet again as I thought about the craziness I had landed myself in. This was just not happening to me.
But then realization caressed me, greeting me with sly eyes as it sunk into my mind. Of course, how could I not think that far? If I were to keep out of the corridor, it had to mean something was going on. Maybe a meeting, perhaps something else, it didn't matter. All that really mattered was that if everyone had attention elsewhere…
I finally had an opportunity to escape.
X
The corridor was silent, void of any movement except a chilly breeze that I had no idea where it came from. I hadn't even known there was a corridor before Boris strictly told me not to go there. Of course I had to disobey. For the first time in however long time I'd been gone, an opportunity of freedom was offered to me. And I was not stupid enough to let that slip.
Limping through the darkness, my leg still hurt and pulsated like a little ticking bomb. I felt like I was living on borrowed time, not daring to waste any seconds lingering around there at all. I couldn't afford to be captured again, couldn't take being locked up in the darkness anymore. It didn't matter what Boris had his ass landed into, I was not going to let myself get dragged down with him.
Stopping to catch my ragged breath, a knife of guilt stabbed my tightened chest. Was this selfish of me? Sure, I was hurt, hungry and exhausted but… Boris needed help, right? Just as much as I did, I couldn't just leave him the… No, no, no, Rei, focus! You have to get out, have to find help, have to get home, anything, just get away from there.
I swallowed down a large gulp of air, readying myself, before limping onwards again. Wherever I was it sure was cold, a damp, moist smell of salt in the air but I couldn't really place it. Slight panic rose in me as I realized, I could be anywhere in the world. Okay, maybe not on the other side of the ocean or anything like that but… still.
If I got out of there undetected, how was I supposed to get into safety? I wasn't wearing my jacket and something told me Boris wouldn't tell me where it was. Which left me empty handed, with nothing but the clothes on my back and a slight headache. The only thing which kept me limping forth was my stubbornness. I just couldn't die here.
But suddenly I stopped, my breathing coming in sharp, strained gulps making it hard to distinguish any other sound. But if I listened closely, I thought I could hear voices. Voices muffled and hushed, yet clear as day. I looked around, fear rising in me as I expected the worst. What if they had noticed my escape already?
But before I lost the last sanity I had, I could notice a faint light just further up the hall. There was a door, almost closed except for the little crack through which the voices came crawling. Dripping through the air like poison, I almost shuddered when I recognized one of them as Boris'. His voice was stern and cold, like it had always been yet so strained I feared it would actually tear. They had to be discussing something important.
Sneaking closer, as silently as I could with my dysfunctional leg, I suppressed every shot of pain the wound gave me for each movement I made, getting closer and closer to the room as time went. When I had reached the little spring in the doorway, I silently leaned against the wall, making myself as flat and invisible as possible. It was a miracle I wasn't panicking at such a moment, just a few meters away from freedom and yet only a wall away from my captor.
This was not a good moment to think. A breath too loud, or a hiss of pain, even just a faulty movement, could most likely lead to my death.
The thought almost made me laugh. This was so absurd. Like some scene out of a gangster movie, what the hell was I doing in the middle of it? I was supposed to be at work, smiling at customers, waiting for the clock to strike six so I could go home and pass out in my couch. I wasn't supposed to be here, in a wet corridor, listening to voices of strangers as they schemed something undoubtedly nasty. I was supposed to suffer from sore muscles, not a god damn bullet wound. This was, without doubt, the most insane experience of my entire life.
If I got out of it alive, Fate had a great deal to explain.
''Yeah, yeah, I get that'' one of the voices from behind the door spoke, bored yet hostile. ''But if that fucking asshole doesn't keep his men off our turf…''
''Yeah, didn't he go after Kuznetsov just a day ago?''
''Exactly! If they start ganging up on us – ''
''Guys, guys, you're thinking small.''
Many voices spoke at the same time, blurring into nonsense of nothing that I couldn't make out.
''You ever heard that saying? Cut off the head and the body will fall or somethin' like that?''
''Whatcha' saying?''
''I say we take out the leader.''
My eyes widened dramatically as I wasn't sure just how to take this. This didn't sound like some small little thug-business. This was serious. They weren't talking about just fighting, and even though I should probably have realized this sooner… they were planning a war.
''That's a real good idea!''
I swallowed. Boris had a great deal to explain. Sometime. When I wasn't standing right outside a room filled with lunatics. Biting my lips as if to not make a sound, I carefully limped away from there. I had almost gotten out of hearing range when something large and very hairy got in my way. Something very hairy that yelped very loud.
Mr. Snufflepop hissed and growled at me, his round eyes filled with damnation and agony as his tousled tail slithered away from me. I looked at him in great alarm, waving my arms desperately, trying to get the cat to keep quiet. But it was too late. The animal hated me, and his loud noises had already reached the others.
I tried to breathe, but with your heart caught in your throat it's not all too easy.
''Did you guys hear that?'' one of the voices spoke, and I swore I could heart chairs moving.
''It's prolly just the damn cat.''
''No, no! I thought I heard something…''
I couldn't even breathe now. If it was out of fear or just trying to be silent, I didn't know. But even without the nauseating pain in my leg it would have been nearly impossible to move, as if my body just decided to abandon me at the last minute. I had always wondered just why the body decided to not move when danger was up ahead. After all, it couldn't have chosen a worse moment to stop co-operating, could it?
Steps were hurrying towards me now, and I knew it was just a matter of seconds before that door would open. Cursing mentally at myself, I began my limping and despite the pain it brought me, despite the sweat and frantic heart I fastened my steps, staggering through the corridor as if my life and everything I loved depended on it. All logic had abandoned me, everything that moved inside my brain was the pure and naked fear I tried to ignore.
But it kept laughing at me, kept twirling and gnawing at my soul as panic sragged me down, like metal weights attached to my legs. I tried not to think too much, tried not to feel but along some point I guess I failed. The only thing keeping me alive so far was my stubbornness, my fighting spirit refusing to lie down and die. Never give up, never say die, never put your guard down. Those were words etched into my brain since I learned to speak, and I had never been as grateful for them as I was now.
Trudging on, the steps behind me sounded clearer now, echoing and I hurried on. Somewhere along the line I was sure I could feel something warm trickling down my leg, but I didn't care. It didn't matter because I could see the light, like some bad joke, at the end of the tunnel. This was all like on of God's pranks. I almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of my situation, but I didn't trust my voice to carry it through.
My hand on the door, pushing all I could before stumbling out into freedom. Cold air brushing against my skin like a thousand knives through my flesh, my lungs extracting and hurling around in pain and I felt dizzy as the smell of the ocean hit me. Stumbling out, tripping on something invisible before tumbling down on the wet ground, the very breath abandoned me before I lay panting, staring up at a blue, blue sky.
It took a second or two before panic could grab me again, making me realize that while I was lying flat on my back and watching the clouds drift by, some very instable men were heading my way. Crawling up on my feet instantly, I sped off into whatever distance there was. My eyes were unfocused and so I couldn't really take in any of my surroundings, but I ran and ran and ran as far as my wound would let me.
Which wasn't much to brag about before I collapsed again, crashing face first into the ground, certainly disturbing my already smashed up nose. As blood trickled down my face, I let out a heavy cough, damning my worthless luck.
I didn't dare open my eyes. Listening instead, I tried to drink in every sound I could. There were the laughs of seagulls, as if my situation was amusing to them. The footsteps echoing around, spreading and looking separately for me, yet they didn't seem to find me. The mewling of that damned cat, everything mixing into some odd melody of lunacy I wasn't sure what to think of.
Opening my eyes, the frantic beating of my heart keeping me from passing out, I had to blink before my vision cleared. Dancing around me were the melancholic colours of sea-green and marine blue, a grey sky which stretched above the calm waves of cold, cold water. I couldn't believe this. Oo all the damn clichés there were… their secret headquarters had to be in the docks. Where was their imagination?
Their voices were calling out now, probably asking each other if they'd seen me. I could distinguish something frustrated in their voices, but my heart pounded much too loud for me to hear exactly what they said. I guess in a way, that was a good thing. Had I heard their plans, would I have been more determined to live, or just more frightened?
They say that in a crisis you know who your real friends are, and you also learn the truth about yourself. I guess that's what really breaks people down. Getting to know who they really are. More than often, you find you weren't exactly the hero you thought yourself to be. It's a rather sad thought, isn't it?
I guess the best word to describe the whole thing was 'confusing'. Why I didn't run when I heard steps coming up beside me, and why I didn't panic when someone yanked me up by the collar, or why I didn't scream when I met Boris' hateful eyes – it was all so very, very puzzling. I didn't understand anything, if it was from the shock or just sheer stupidity I guess I would never know.
''What the fuck did I just tell you?!'' his hiss cut like a needle through my ears, yet I only glared at him as he slammed me into the wall. ''What part of 'keep out of the corridor' was too difficult for your small brain to understand?!''
''Let go of me, you lunatic!'' I spat, knowing I was just fuelling the fire.
But I didn't care. I was just so damn confused, all I wanted was some answers. Some answers or to get as far away from there as possible. To forget this ever happened, to be back in my crappy apartment and my warm, empty bed. I wanted my normal life back, not any of this insane shit. But Boris wouldn't let me get away. He wouldn't let me forget and as I looked him in his eyes, I failed to comprehend why.
''Listen, if they find you, you're in deep trouble. Now as I'm doing a shithead like you a favour, I'd expect some fucking gratitude!''
''Fuck you, Kuznetsov! Just let me go!''
''Kuznetsov'' it was a stranger's voice that called out as a shadow rounded our corner. ''What's going on? I thought I heard…''
And before I could blink, before I could even react in any decent way, Boris had turned around and in one movement, sent the other man bleeding to the ground. I had no idea how he did it, all I could really register was the blood and the gasping, Boris' panting and the sudden spin of the world.
''Boris…''
''Shut up.''
''Did you just… attack one of your own?''
''I said shut up!''
I guess he didn't mean to shout at me. Not to spare my feelings or anything but because now he had drawn the attention of the others towards us. Cursing under his breath, kicking at the ground as if it had wronged him dearly, Boris clenched jaw and taut mouth looked closed to breaking. I was at a loss for words.
In any second they were going to come to our corner, they were going to see the passed out member and Boris' infuriated form. They were going to see me and somehow, they'd connect the threads. They'd understand something and there was no way out of it. Glaring hard and ruthless, nothing but a Tiger's roar in my voice, I looked at Boris as I spoke next.
''Boris, I don't care what fucked up scheme you have in your head. You have to let me leave!''
He just glared at me, so I spoke again.
''You know they'll understand you brought me here! I don't know why you're protecting me – ''
''I'm not protecting you, you asshole''
''Whatever. I don't know why you're ''not protecting'' me, but it's not going to work! Just let me go and pretend this never happened!''
I ignored his glare, ignored his trembling fists as he tried to control the anger. I ignored that I could hear the others getting closer and I ignored the utter guilt I felt for even considering leaving Boris. I didn't really want to, but this was his fault, wasn't it? And whatever way I could help, I'm sure it didn't involve me lying on a cold floor staring into nothing.
No, it was the best way for it to be. I had to get away from there. And I guess on some plane, he understood. Cursing yet again, he sighed in anger.
''Run'' he said, and then his eyes met mine again, like a shot through the night. ''Run for your life.''
And I did.
I ran and ran as fast as I could, air gushing past me furiously and pain ripping at my muscles without mercy. It didn't matter that fatigue and pain nibbled at my feet, screamed in my mind or clouded my vision, all I could think about was running. Ignoring the smell of defeat and the warmth of my blood, despite the dizziness I ran. Like a computer with only one programming, working without stopping until the goal was reached.
Even though the stitches tore and my muscles burned, the skin ached and the blood in my veins pumped till a point where my heart hurt, I didn't give up. I didn't care that the air felt like rocks in my chest. Nothing mattered but getting away. And as the sounds of Boris talking to his comrades died away into the distance, as the sound of waves and the smell of oil became a past memory, a past problem, I ran faster.
X
Somewhere along the road I must have passed out. Whether from hunger, exhaustion or loss of blood I didn't know. But every part of me hurt like I had just been run over by a car, or hit by a comet, chewed up and spat out. Tremors shaking my body, warmth battled the cold that tried to dominate my skin, leaving me sweating and trembling at the same time. I tried to blink, yet my eyes stung and my eyelids seemed to weigh tons.
I had no idea where I was. I didn't even know the time of day. But I guess that was all trifle matters. I was alive, I was free and I was victorious. Well, as victorious as a coward that ran for his life could be at least. Even though I liked to think of it more as tactical retreat, the ugly truth still laughed haughtily at me. I had fled the scene like a scared little kitten, and the Gods only knew whatever mess Boris was in.
He wasn't even my friend, and yet I knew, with the greatest frustration in my heart, that I had to help him. For the sake of my own humanity, I couldn't just let this slide. I groaned, my head drumming in pain as the headache grew worse. Before I helped that bitter old Russian I had to find my way to a hospital.
Groaning I sat up on shaky arms, coughing up dust and dirt and humiliation. No one seemed to be around, and as I looked around I noticed I wasn't too far away from civilisation. Sure, I was in the outskirts, and as luck would have it the slum… but no one was around for miles, which I guess was a good thing.
And then I spotted it. Like a miracle in the dark and dusty night, I saw it. It was torn and tattered, well used within its broken cage of glass, yet it was so beautiful. A pay-phone, just a few steps away from me. Hissing at the pain, I stood up and stumbled towards it, salvation only a phone call away.
My heart was beating rapidly as I hit the numbers, digging desperately through my pockets I had by some miracle found a single, lonely coin. With a good luck kiss I pushed it in, hoping for the life of it that someone would answer. With each ring something inside of me seemed to break, and by the fifth one I almost wanted to scream.
''Come on, come on, come on, come on…''
''What the hell?! Who's dumb enough to call me at this hour?! Kiki, if it's you I swear I'll rip out your…''
I sighed a sigh of relief, feeling the dread and the frustration leaving me, like tar freeing my lungs, fresh night air streaming into my throat and I sighed again just for the sake of it. Clutching the phone tightly in my hand, I didn't know if I should smile or yell.
''Why did you set me up with a criminal?!''
''And then I'll shove it down your… Rei?!''
''Yes, it's me! And I'm really mad at you!''
She clumsily ignored my statement, huffing into the phone as if I was the one who had screwed up.
''Where the hell are you?! It's been two days! We've been worried sick!''
''Well if you hadn't set me up with a damn criminal I might have been home by now!''
There was a pause on the other end, and I didn't know if it was just for dramatic effect or if Mao was seriously surprised. She stammered for a moment, but her words faltered her and she turned quiet again.
''You… what?''
''A criminal, Mao. You have some serious explaining to do!''
I didn't really want to be mad at her. I knew her intentions had been good but I couldn't take being nice right that moment. I was furious, I was scared and confused and if something didn't happen soon I was going to explode. I wanted an explanation, I wanted a warm bath and a good meal and I wanted things to start making sense. Perhaps it was cruel of me to yell at her like I did, but I blamed her because after all, it was partially her fault. Even if she only wanted to help.
''He's a… criminal? Oh, God, Rei I didn't know! Honestly!''
''You swear on your life?''
''Yes I do, you prick! Don't you trust me!?''
''What do you think?! I've been running for I don't know how long with a damn bullet wound in my leg!''
''You've been shot?!'' her screech alone was enough to make my ears ring, and I had to keep the phone a great length away from me in order to not turn deaf. ''Where are you?! What happened?! Want me to pick you up?''
''Calm down, Mao I – ''
I was just about to get relieved, just about to tell her where I thought I was (since I really had no real idea, my head was still threatening to explode) and make her pick me up. I was just about to get out of this nightmare altogether when suddenly, a new voice entered the line.
''Your time has run out'' it said in that cold, mechanic and emotionless voice and I instantly cursed as I knew what it meant. ''Please insert another coin if you wish to lengthen your time''
Desperately I dug through every pocket I had, wanting to find another coin, right that moment I could have give anything to just find one small, little round metallic piece inside my pockets but all I got was dust. As the line went dead and my hope died with it, I let my hand fall limply to my side as I leaned against the glass. The phone still harshly clutched in my hand, shaking, everything stood still.
I couldn't hold it together anymore. Not when everything came bursting down on me, like the weight of the entire sky, crushing me, bringing me to my knees as I slid down the wall of the booth, desperately starting to cry.
Life just wasn't playing fair anymore.
