- Reference to "Amok Time"

o0o

When the door to the operating room, where the much too young Dr. Pulliam was fighting for his best friend's life, closed, Jim turned on his heels, and left sickbay.

There was no use in him wearing off the floor in sickbay. But there was something he had to do. Find the one who had done this.

He briefly considered calling security, but if he called them over the intercom, he'd hear it too, and Kirk had already an idea about where to find his first officer, anyway.

He checked his phaser which was still on his belt and set it to "stun", and then swiftly walked to the mess.

True to Kirk's assumption, Spock was there, sitting at one of the tables, eating extremely sugary things, that Kirk had never seen Spock eat before: jelly, cake from which he'd only carved the icing, donuts with glazing, pink cotton candy and caramel apples, lay in a more or less eaten state on the table before Spock. Right now he was popping grapes into his mouth, one by one, all the while looking impassively at Uhura who was observing him with a mixture of amusement and genuine interest.

"Is this some kind of experiment, Mr. Spock?"

He just shook his head and plucked another grape from its vanicle.

"Well, I hope Dr. McCoy approves of this?" The lieutenant didn't want to drop the subject.

"Hardly," Spock said, looking up for a second, meeting Jim's eyes. There was a certain coldness about Spock's stare which made Jim's blood freeze in his veins.

"Nyota," he said calmly, deliberately using his communications officer's first name to make sure to catch her attention, "you've got duty on the bridge."

"Yes, sir," she said looking at him cautiously. Then she stood up to stand behind Kirk, not going on to the bridge, but waiting for what was about to happen. She saw that the captain had drawn his phaser. Spock had resumed eating, not at all impressed by the captain's appearance.

"Hungry?" Kirk asked him, stepping closer.

Spock just shrugged and reached to the other side of the table for a piece of cake. That's when Kirk's eyes caught the blood stain on Spock's sleeve.

"Where'd you do that?" Kirk asked, indicating the dark blotch. He tried to sound mildly curious, but in fact he felt anger building up inside him. It wasn't Spock's fault, get a grip on your feelings, he thought.

Spock looked at his sleeve then shrugged again. "In the biochemical lab."

"What did you do?" Kirk tensed. Surely, Spock - it - knew it had been caught?

"Kill Dr. McCoy," Spock said matter-of-factly looking directly at Jim. Uhura gasped behind him and went to the comm. She would call security, Kirk knew. He ground his teeth, and slowly exhaled through his nose. He had to know: "Where is my first officer?"

"Right here. He killed Dr. McCoy with a scalpel. Stabbed him right into his heart," Spock said slowly, then convulsed for a short moment.

Kirk took another step forward. "Spock?"

"I ... killed him, Jim." It was Spock, Kirk realized, his Spock, not that monster, looking at him with such pain in his eyes that it made Jim shudder. He'd rarely seen Spock so emotional. The last time, maybe, when Spock had thought he'd killed him on Vulcan, just before he had recognised that it was in fact, Jim, very much alive, standing before him in sickbay. The pain had briefly made room for joy, and then Spock had gotten himself under control again.

"Kill me," he whispered, begged, but then the coldness returned to his features and he launched forward, his hands outstretched toward Kirk's throat.

He never reached him. But collapsed from the phaser beam Kirk had fired. Jim caught him, then lowered him to the floor. Finally, the security guards arrived.

"Should I call sickbay, Captain?" Uhura asked from the door.

Kirk tentatively felt for a pulse. It was there, steady. "No," he said, "they've got enough to do. We need to get him to the anti-gravitation chamber."

"Sir?"

"It's the virus, Lieutenant, I can't explain it, but Bones said, zero gravity would kill it."

"Then Dr. McCoy is alive?"

Kirk looked at her, his eyes wide. "I hope he will be, Uhura. I really do hope so. For both of them."

And for me, Kirk thought. He remembered the look on Spock's face when he'd begged him to kill him. If Bones died, it would probably mean he'd lose both his closest friends, Kirk realized.