…in Kirigakure!


i.

"You do understand the honour that this is," the third Raikage said gravely.

Kaname Junko watched her daughter play with her baby brother. It took her a moment to compose herself. Uncharacteristically, her sensei did not chide her.

Perhaps he understood. He'd given up his son as well.

"Yes sir."

ii.

"Bee-san," Madoka said as she doodled on the margins of her history homework which, according to Kay-sensei involved a lot of people attacking Kumogakure for no apparent reason, "I don't think people like us very much."

"You worry too much," Bee laughed. "People will get in touch."

"Mmm, if you say so." She hesitated for a moment before looking at her sempai in concern. "Bee-san, I don't think it's possible to wield seven swords at once."

"Ha ha, just you wait: this'll be great!"

"Bee-san, they're bigger than you are!"

iii.

Junko heard Madoka long before she saw her. A huge smile was on her daughter's face.

The smile was contagious.

"Mom, mom! I made my first friend today! Her name is Sayaka!" In the vein of one mentioning a very important fact she said, with great solemnity: "Her hair is green."

Junko grabbed her daughter by the armpits and lifted her up in the air before giving her a peck on the forehead. "I'm so proud of you! What's she like?"

Madoka squirmed in her grip. "Mmmm. She's very… um… straightforward."

"What do you mean by that?"

Call her a freak again and I think I will get very mad.

"She speaks her mind," Madoka decided.

iv.

"Oh look, freak made her first friend." Kyouko muttered, munching on a dango.

"Your chatter is not useful, Snake." Homura replied. "And put your mask back on."

"Aye aye, Bear," the ANBU operative said, snapping off a salute as she finished her sweet. The mask clicked back into place. "But y'know, she will die, every host to the Bakeneko has died, they're just trying to-"

"That is not our concern."

"…damn you're cold."

v.

"A-san, I made a friend."

"Mm-hmmm," the Raikage's son said as he practiced his taijutsu forms. No one referred to Bee-san as the 'Raikage's son' but Madoka had decided that that was because it would be confusing if both of them were referred to as the Raikage's son.

"A-san, they won't let her into the palace, do you know why? I wanted to show her the sword collection." She grinned. "Sayaka-chan really likes swords."

"Does she?" A muttered as he went through the Sky forms. "I'll see that the paperwork gets done."

"Thank you, A-san!"

"Hey! Careful!" A complained as he was hit by a hug.

vi.

"You're a little young to be our sensei," Sayaka said doubtfully.

"Oh – ah – I guess I am," Mami said nervously, as she twisted a finger in and out of her hair. "But – um – I'm qualified… or, I think I am." She nodded. "Probably."

Beat.

Madoka pouted. "It's because of me, isn't it?"

Mami put up her hands. "No, no, not at all, it's just with the war jounin need to be-" at the looks the two teenagers gave her, the chunin deflated. "Um, yeah. I was the only one who volunteered. But don't worry, I'm qualified! Over-qualified, even!"

"Really." Sayaka said sceptically.

Mami grinned. Suddenly she didn't look quite like a fourteen year old pretending to be a jounin and more like a ten year old with access to forbidden jutsu. "Want to see something really cool?"

vii.

Kyouko stumbled back to the rendezvous point looking like she'd taken a walk through the Raikage's signature technique. She ripped her mask right off and flung it to the side where it shattered into a hundred pieces.

"They blew up a mountain!"

"Ah." Homura said.

"Bear, they blew up a mountain."

"That's what will happen when the Tomoe blood limit is given access to the chakra of a host." She nodded to Kyouko. "Good work."

"Bear, the mountain where they put the First Raikage's face on is gone. Kaput! Seeing angels! Closer to my god than thee! Someone is going to notice!"

viii.

Bee rubbed his chin.

"Do you think, that before they blink, I could try-"

"Bee," A rumbled. "You are not defacing the second's monument."

ix.

"That is the stupidest god I ever saw," Kakuzu decided as he looked upon Hidan's pantheon.

"Don't say shit about Jashin," Hidan growled.

"Nah, not that one." The waterfall-nin growled, pointing to another of the statues. "The other one. With the floppy ears."

"Oh," the other missing-nin said, mollified. "That's Kyuubey. He's the arsekisser. You have to sacrifice virgin girls to him or some shit like that. No one takes him seriously."

"Virgins? Really? What for?"

"Pffft, hell if I know. Grants wishes or some shit like that."

"…does he pay in gold?"


Author's Notes: Episode 10 of PMMM was everything I wanted it to be. Coming up next: the Little Mermaid!