"How?" Claude said.

"Silly question. But if you mean exactly how, well, birth control has been known to fail before, Claude." Alice sat back, and exhaled.

Claude looked at her, and his face was a mask of anxiety, and misery. "Oh, Alice, I didn't know. Heaven help me, I didn't know, and you could have gone for years, Alice, years, without knowing where I was, and then you'd probably have married some iniquitous personage, and-"

Alice was looking up at the sky, nodding her head up and down. Claude looked at her, incredulous and infuriated. "Am I amusing you?" he said.

"Constantly." said Alice. "But Claude-"

Claude ran a hand through his hair harriedly. "And I'd come back, and the child wouldn't even know me, and I'd be ousted-"

"Do I hear violins?" Alice said.

"And then, your husband would probably shoot me, and I'd be taken to the hospital, and...the child wouldn't be allowed to visit…"

"Okay," said Alice. "Well, I'm going to go now, and let you live out your alternate life in peace, okay? It was a really long train ride." Alice got up from the bench. Claude snapped out of his tale of woe, and stood in front of her.

"Where might you be going?" he said.

"To the hotel. I'd like to get some rest."

"What about me?" Claude said.
"What about you?"

"Well, what do you intend to do?" He was looking at her with intent concern.
"Well, I…no. It's pretty obvious what I plan to do. I'm keeping it, naturally. The question is though, what do you plan to do?"

"I plan to…I was attending classes in my spare time. At the community college."
"You were?" Alice said.

"I was. I thought…I'd like to…to teach."
"You?" Alice said. Claude looked at her venomously.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. Lofty as it seems, I think even a person as illiterate as me could at least make a stab at it." Claude rapidly rattled the words off in shocked indignation, and Alice felt frantic to correct the misunderstanding.

"Claude, don't call yourself that, even sarcastically." said Alice. "You didn't understand me. I only thought-"
"Leaving that frightful task to you, I suppose. You know, you, my pet, are abusive and demeaning in a manner so as not to be believed."

"Claude. I only expressed doubt because you said before that teachers were horrible ghouls and witches, and the entire system should be abolished."
"Maybe I said that, but I thought about it, and, well, I thought that perhaps I could make it better. More fun."

Alice sat down on the bench.
"Are you all right?" Claude asked with concern.

"Yeah, I am. I just can't believe…"
"Maybe…maybe this is no more than one of my flights of fancy. Maybe I couldn't do it."

"Claude Newbold, if you don't give it your most valiant effort, I swear I'll go out right now, and marry the closest thing to Captain Hook I can find-"

"Your concern on behalf of our unborn child is deeply moving, however, I'm still not entirely certain of how sound an idea it is."
"Don't you see, Claude? Of all your goals, this is the one that makes the most sense."

"That doesn't say much for it. But you're right. I was being very small-minded myself, and lacking in imagination. All I could see was my own constricted vision."
"But Claude," Alice said. "you should only do this if you really want to, and not just to please others. I mean, if you want to sell Maytag appliances, if that's what makes you happy, then that's what you should do."

"I don't. That doesn't make me happy by any means."
"Oh, Claude, I'm so sorry." said Alice. "For all the awful things I said. I didn't mean any of them."
"Didn't you?"

"No, I didn't. I love you, Claude, and, that ludicrous scenario you dreamed up notwithstanding, I really did think that I might never see you again. And then, when I realized that I was expecting, it was the most awful feeling, Claude, not being able to find you."
"I'm so sorry." said Claude. "I'm so sorry, Alice. If I had only known…"

"I know." said Alice. "You couldn't have known, Claude." She touched his arm. "Claude…I'm not sure that you really care about me. I mean, you seem less than happy to see me here."

"I was grievously wounded. Why would I be happy to see someone who inflicted grievous wounds on me? Tell me that."
"Because I said I was sorry." Alice said.

"And then you actually threatened my livelihood. You threatened to leak compromising secrets to my superiors. Should I be happy about that, too?"
"You didn't really believe I was serious, did you?" Alice said. "I just said that so you'd come with me. I never would have done it. You know that. But I'm concerned, Claude. I don't think that you really want me here."

"Of course I do." Claude said. "I love you."
"Do you?" said Alice. "You never said those words to me before."
Claude looked at her, in surprise, and then laughed bitterly. He got up off of the bench.

"Claude!" Alice said in astonishment. She stood up after him. "What are you doing?"
"You're the librarian," Claude said. "but I can see you're unable to read between the lines." He walked off towards the trail. "I have to go back to work. You know where to find me."
Alice frowned angrily, mystified. "Claude! You get back here right now!" She was starting after him, when she noticed a wind blow a piece of paper sitting on the picnic table they had been sitting at. The paper fell to the ground, and Alice picked it up, and looked at it. It was the note that Claude had left her that day in the library. Alice crumpled it angrily, but then a realization dawned on her. She smoothed the note out, and reread it, all the way down to the very bottom of the note.

Yatebyalyublu.

Alice frowned, lost in thought, when she noticed Claude watching her from behind a tree.

"Claude Newbold!" Alice said. "You scummy creep! How could you-"

"Yatebyalyublu." Claude said, walking over to her. Alice put her hand on her hip.

"You were behind that tree the whole time!" Alice said. "You tricked me, making me think you were angry. You're a big fraud. Claude the-"

Claude put a finger to her lips. "Quiet." he said. "You don't realize it, but I made that piece of paper blow in your direction. If you anger me, I may not be able to control my supernatural aptitude."

Alice smiled, rolling her eyes.

"Yatebyalyublu." Claude said. "Russian."

"Commie." Alice said, but she was smiling.

"In English-"

"I know." said Alice. "I've already figured it out."
"Yatebyalyublu." said Claude, putting both arms around her. Alice closed her eyes. Claude drew her close to him. "Yatebyalyublu." he repeated, putting his lips against her cheek. Alice returned his embrace, stroking his back gently.

Claude drew back, and looked at her. "Alice," he said. "What you said earlier about the tree house language, and your inference that it signaled insanity-"

"I didn't mean it." Alice said. "I was annoyed with you."

"I know. But, you know, all these years, I haven't been understood by anyone, it seems, even my sister Hallie thinks I'm not on the up and up. As right as they might have been, you never thought so." He took her hand in his. "And, well, Alice the Intrepid, I think it's because, in these years since the tree house kingdom, you're the only one who understands my language."

Alice smiled at him, her eyes filling with tears. "Well," she said, putting her arms around his neck. "it's because…" She whispered the words into his ear.

"Yatebyalyublu."

End