Ms. Li and Daria stared impassively at each other, both refusing to break the silence first. Jane sat next to Daria, worriedly glancing from her blonde amiga to the stern principal and back again.

Ms. Li cleared her throat and finally spoke. "Do you know why you're here today, Ms. Morgendorffer and Ms. Lane?"

"Well, sixteen years ago my father was feeling particularly amorous with my mother -"

Ms. Li held up a hand to cut off Daria. "You are here because Mr. O'Neill petitioned to hold an assembly to recognize your early graduation of his self-esteem class. I turned down his request."

"Well, if that'll be all..." Jane made as if she was getting up.

"Sit down, Ms. Lane," Ms. Li ordered. "I turned down his request for two reasons. One, I don't believe the student body is yet inoculated against your looks, Ms. Morgendorffer, and I fear another riot may break out if you're put on display like a cut of meat."

Daria nodded subtly. "That's...thoughtful of you."

Ms. Li returned the nod. "The other reason is that I'm not certain I should approve your graduation from the self-esteem class. You attended a mere three classes of the ten week course, so I don't think you properly absorbed the course material." For the first time, she broke her staring contest with Daria and turned to Jane. "And you've had sixty weeks to absorb the material, Ms. Lane, so I don't see why this time is any different."

"Well, we just finally figured out that we really are special, and that no one else is like us!" Jane pointed out.

"Don't give me that crap," Ms. Li spat out. "Let's cut to the chase, since neither of you girls are idiots. You both know that the self-esteem class is a ghetto for the school's malcontents. Normally, I'd have no problem signing off on your graduation from that class, since your friendship makes it less likely that you will trouble the staff or the other students during your education at this school. However, given that you have the highest attractiveness quotient in the school -"

"How the hell could you possibly know something like that?"

Ms. Li ignored the question. "-I feel it would be best to utilize your face to improve the image of Lawndale High."

Daria sighed. "I hope this involves Nicholas Cage and John Travolta."

"I understand that several of our clubs have already issued you invitations to join, Ms. Morgendorffer. I suggest you take one of them up on it."

"Uh, what about me?" Jane asked.

"Well, Ms. Lane, I would prefer it if you followed Ms. Morgendorffer into her extracirricular activities, as it would keep the both of you out of trouble, as I mentioned. It would also mark the first time a Lane ever contributed more than a 2.0 grade point average to Lawndale High. However, if you wished to stay in the self-esteem class, it would be no skin off my nose."

"So I can't just...get off scot-free?" Ms. Li glared in reply. "...I guess not."

XXXX

"This meeting of the Fashion Club is called to order," Sandi proclaimed. "Stacy, please note that we have a new member to fill the vacant Vice President position?"

"Aren't you going to ask me to introduce myself?" Daria asked.

"Oh. Excuse me." The sneer on Sandi's face and the tone of her voice both belied her lack of sincerity. "Stacy, Tiffany, this is Daria Morgendorffer."

"Why is she dressed like a homeless person?" Tiffany asked.

Sandi shot her a scowl. "Tiffany, dear, Daria simply hasn't had a chance to be briefed on our dress codes."

"I'm not changing the way I dress," Daria said.

"Ex-cuse me?"

"I said, I'm not changing the way I dress."

Sandi's eyes narrowed as she attempted to digest the thought. "Well GEE, Daria, if you don't want to follow the rules, maybe you should become President and change them."

Daria nodded. "Fair enough, I second your nomination."

"What?" Sandi was dumbfounded.

"All in favor of my becoming President of the Fashion Club?" She raised her hand. Stacy and Tiffany were startled into raising theirs as well. "All opposed?" Sandi was too flabbergasted to even raise her hand. "Alright, with three ayes and one abstention, I am elected President of the Fashion Club. Stacy, right?" Surprised at being addressed, Stacy nodded. "Please hand your notebook over to secretary Sandi."

Sandi and Stacy's faces were mirrors of one another, as both exhibited utter shock. "Buh-buh-but Daria, I'm the secretary," Stacy tried to explain, wide-eyed.

"No, you're the new Vice President. Sandi's the new secretary."

"Ex-CUSE me, you can't just -"

Daria cut off Sandi. "I read the club bylaws before coming to this meeting, and the President of the Fashion Club rules by fiat, so I can do whatever I want."

"What do cars have to do with it?" Stacy asked, confused.

Daria rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Just give her the notebook, please."

Stacy (after a moment's hesitation at hearing the word 'please' for the first time ever in a Fashion Club meeting) handed the notebook to Sandi, mouthing "I'm sorry!" over and over. Sandi took it without looking Stacy in the eye.

"Now, Sandi, could you please record my victory in the election?" Sandi did so, with the sound of her grinding teeth louder than the scratching of the pen onto the paper. "Very good. Now, I hold a vote that we dissolve the Fashion Club."

"WHAT?" Sandi shouted.

"Does anybody second the motion?" Daria focused her gaze on Stacy. "Anybody?"

In a very meek voice, Stacy said, "Seconded." She felt the side of her face increase in temperature to near-melting from the glare Sandi was surely giving her.

"All in favor?" She raised her hand, followed a moment later by Stacy.

After a long moment more, Sandi opened her mouth. "Well, I guess..." She trailed off as Tiffany raised her hand.

"All opposed?" Instead of raising her hand, Sandi simply threw the notebook down and stormed out.

XXXX

Daria sighed as she appraised the cheerleader uniform she wore in the mirror. Bouncing around chanting banal endorsements of sporting events and risking a spinal injury in a human pyramid was humiliating, but this was her last shot at escaping the self-esteem class. (There was no way in hell she would join something called the Pep Club).

"Hey, stranger. Gonna bag yourself the QB? Or maybe the Captain?"

Daria turned, surprised to see Jane. "Jane, I didn't think you wanted to join me in extracirricular hell."

"Eh, you know what they say about misery."

"That it shares the wealth?"

"Something like that. Which reminds me, can you pay for pizza after school today?"

Daria shook her head, a small smile on her face. "Just as soon as you pay me back for the last three."

"Ouch!"

"Well, we better not keep the Silicone Brigade waiting. Let's go out there and give it our worst."

XXXX

"So, you think I could become an active cheerleader?" Quinn asked excitedly.

Brittany nodded. "Leslie is moving to California, and since you're our only reserve cheerleader..." Brittany trailed off as she looked over Quinn's shoulder. "Quinn! You didn't tell me your sister wanted to be a cheerleader too!"

"She doesn't. Why do you...oh no." She turned around, only to see her revoltingly much-more-beautiful sister approach, with her weird friend in tow, both wearing cheerleading uniforms.

"Hi, sis!" Daria greeted, a smug smirk on her face.

"Damnit, Daria, you ruin EVERYTHING!"

XXXXXXXXXX

I apologize if this third chapter isn't up to the quality of the first two; I've been under some stress at home lately, but due to the overwhelming demand (and pitchforks), I felt obligated to continue writing.

The reason I let this lay fallow for so long in the first place was, well, NaNoWriMo. This was my first year competing in it, and I won! With 53,149 words total! I might talk more about it later, if people are interested.

Keep an eye out for more chapters of this; I've also been brainstorming a Christmas fic, and maybe a Daria/Link fic. (Yes, you read that right).