"What?" Daria was dumbfounded.

"I said, Daria, that you didn't make the team," Brittany repeated.

"Wh-why the hell not?" Daria stammered out.

Brittany curled a lock of her hair around one finger. "Well, you don't have that special bouncity-bounce that a cheerleader should have, you know?"

"'Bouncity-bounce?'"

"And you're not very well coordinated, either, Daria...last year, when I was a freshman, one of the girls on the team lost her balance and fell. It was so scary!" Brittany trembled at the mere thought of it. "She broke one of her legs, and cracked a verte-thingy in her back. If she hit just a little harder, she'd be in a wheelchair!" Brittany was now openly crying, embarrassing Daria.

"Um...there there," Daria lamely tried to comfort Brittany by patting her on the shoulder.

"You don't hate me, do you, Daria? I know you really wanted to be a cheerleader, but please don't hate me!"

"I...of course I don't hate you, Brittany," Daria said, put off by the whole conversation. "And, well, it's not so much that I wanted to be a cheerleader, it's just that Ms. Li wanted me to take an extracirricular which would let me show my face to the world."

"Oh," Brittany said, her tears finally running dry. She impulsively leaned forward and hugged Daria, who almost recoiled at the touch but, after some hesitation, put her arms around Brittany and very gently squeezed back. "Well, don't worry, Daria. I'm sure you'll fit in somewhere! Where do you think you'll try out for next?"

"Um..." Where else did Daria have to go? "Well, there's the Pep Squad..."

Brittany brightened up. "Ooh, you'll do swell there, Daria! They're not a very big club, and the president is sooo gloomy. It'll be easy for you to take over!"

Daria thought fondly of how easy it was to take over the Fashion Club, but decided she shouldn't demolish the Pep Squad, if only because they wouldn't let her into any more clubs if she kept eliminating them (thus dooming her and Jane to a self-esteem purgatory).

Speaking of Jane... "Say, what about Jane? Did she lack...'bouncity-bounce'?" Daria felt an ulcer start to form in protest of her use of the phrase.

Brittany's eyebrows shot up. "I forgot to tell you? Oh! Well, Jane's going to be a reserve cheerleader! Isn't that great?"

Daria blinked several times. Jane had made the cut, but she didn't. "What did she say?"

"Well, she said she'd think about it. I hope she joins! She's got good legs, so she'd be great for pyramids!"

XXXX

That night at dinner, Quinn was the happiest Daria had ever seen her. And it made her nauseous.

"...and then Brittany said Daria didn't have any bounce! Can you believe it! For once, I'm better than Daria at something! I got on the cheerleading squad full-time, and SHE didn't even get on the reserves!" Quinn thrust a triumphant finger at Daria. Daria considered biting it off.

Helen had a similar attitude. "Shame on you, Quinn! You know your sister has been diagnosed with low self-esteem. You shouldn't rub something like that in her face."

"Of course!" Quinn suddenly shouted, switching from happy to angry in a microsecond. "Daria gets anything she wants, 'cause she's prettier than me, so when I get something that I want, it's a frickin' crime against nature or something!" Quinn shoved back from the table and stormed upstairs.

"Quinn! Quinn, you come down right this instant and apologize, young lady!" Helen shouted. She turned to Daria, apologetic. "Look, Daria, I'm sorry about your sister, you know she doesn't mean it..."

Daria shook her head. "Yeah, she does. Look, mom...I'll go talk to her." Daria cursed her conscience.

She went upstairs and knocked on Quinn's door. "Go away!" Quinn shouted.

"It's the Spanish inquisition," Daria deadpanned.

"Oh, it's you," Quinn said dismissively, opening the door. "Did mom send you up? 'Cause I'm not apologizing."

Daria shook her head. "No, she didn't -"

"It must be beating you up inside, that I'm a better cheerleader than you."

"What?" Daria was momentarily distracted by Quinn's malapropism before she could discern what she'd actually meant.

"Everything always gets handed to you on a silver freakin' platter, Daria, and you just can't stand that Brittany has bigger boobies than you and didn't care how cute your dumb face looks - she tossed you out like a used Kleenex because you weren't good enough to cheer!" Quinn's voice became more venomous as she spoke.

Daria considered what she said. "You're right."

"I am?" Quinn wasn't sure to be more shocked that she was right, or that her sister had admitted it.

Daria shook her head. "Not about me being bitter. I could not give one damn about becoming a cheerleader. But you're right - Brittany looked past my looks and judged me on my merit."

"Say what?"

Daria smiled - wide. Quinn was perturbed seeing the unfamiliar gesture on Daria's face (and a little revolted at how perfect even her sister's teeth were). "Don't you get it, Quinn? For the first time in my whole damn life, somebody looked PAST my appearances!"

"And they thought you stank!" Quinn added. That did not deter Daria from giving Quinn a great big hug, though. "Aggh! What are you doing!" Quinn flailed and tried to escape, but it was no use.

"Thanks for helping me realize what happened, sis," Daria said as she delivered the coup de grace - a great big peck on one cheek.

"OH GROSS!" Quinn finally squirmed free of Daria and dashed to the bathroom, where the water could be heard running as Quinn was surely trying to scrub off the outer layers of her skin.

Daria sighed with contentment at having seriously messed with her little sister, then moseyed on down to her room and picked up the phone.

"Yo."

"Hey, Jane."

"Amiga! How do you like being a cheerleader?" Daria realized Jane didn't know.

"You tell me."

"...Oh. Well, I guess I'll have to call Brittany up and let her know -"

"I think you should join the team."

"...Daria, have your blonde roots finally choked off the oxygen supply to your brain? Why would I bother being a cheerleader if your ass isn't there for me to be a pain in it?"

Daria sighed. "Well, when Brittany explained why I wasn't allowed on the squad, none of her reasons were based on my...you know...looks. She looked past all that."

"And decided you stank." Jane's tone was playful, but Daria was still annoyed that she drew the same conclusion as Quinn.

"Save the commentary, Lane. Anyway, if Brittany thinks you'd be a good reservist, I think you should go for it. She actually reminds me of this other girl at school who didn't just take me at face value."

"Let me guess: Sandi?"

"You bitch." The two girls chuckled as their conversation moved on to other topics.

XXXXXXXXXX

I'm not sure whether I should continue this story, or call it 'complete' and put Pep Squad stuff in a sequel. I'm leaning a little towards the former option, but I could go either way.