This story is set right after the Season 3 episode "Heart of Stone" where the audience finds out Odo is in love with Kira, but Kira doesn't know.
"Nothing's Daydreams"
He couldn't help but notice how her eyes shone as she laughed. They shone brighter than the glistening spiritual earring she wore on her right ear, an earring that danced with the joyful tilt of her head. It was so nice to see her this happy, laughing without restraint.
These last few days Kira Nerys had been down, the thought of Vedek Bareil's death keeping her from beaming with that usual glow she had. She had been so close to him, and now he was gone forever. Those painful emotions of loss and hopeless desperation that had been so present during the Occupation were now making themselves known again, emotions that Kira was too stubborn to show to others. But he could tell.
Oh, yes, he had seen it as he had made his rounds earlier that day, peering down at her from the upper level of the Promenade as if casually going about his duties as Deep Space Nine's constable. He had seen it in the way she had walked down the Promenade, going about her own duties as an officer. He had noticed it in the down turned corners of her mouth, of the terrifyingly unremitting sorrow that had radiated from her whole being. And, as he had watched her from the upper level as if watching over her, he had wanted so desperately to soothe her, to tell her it was all right because he was there. He could help her through this hard time of her life better than anyone else.
But he hadn't said anything of the sort. Oh, when he spoke with her, he would be able to tell she was sad by the very slight, odd look she gave at times, or by the pause in her words that hinted at the sudden resurfacing of painful memories, and he would ask if she was all right, a gentler tone than he would use with anyone else to his usually gruff voice—but she would just nod, bite her lip, and move on with life in that stubborn way that she did. While he admired her for her strength and determination, his thoughts would scream those words at her, those words that had been so difficult to say the other day, back in the caves, but, despite everything, he had said them: I'm in love with you! Those words that had entered the ears of none other than that Founder who had assumed the form of this strong, glowing, yet, at times, vulnerable Bajoran woman.
But, for now, he would not go there. He would not allow himself to think of that confusing, painful, and frightening day that had made the emotions he had for Kira bubble up until he was paralyzed, unable to leave her to die. When he had seen her tears, his whole being had been wracked with a type of pain that was worse than holding this humanoid form for over sixteen hours, a pain that had made him desperately aware that he couldn't leave her like this, he had to comfort her, he had to make her feel better! He had to keep her tears from falling, do whatever it took to make her smile! That day he had shifted to create a type of roof over her trapped form, protecting her from the falling rocks in the cave. He had held her hands in his, and, with a type of desperation coursing through him, he had told her the only story he could think of at the moment, the story of how he had gotten his name, all the while trying so hard to comfort her. He knew the concern he had for her had been piercing through those blue eyes he had made for himself that day, eleven hours before. After all, eyes were the windows to the soul, even for a Changeling. And, when it came down to it, and she had asked him why he wouldn't leave her when they were both going to be buried alive in the cave, the words had come out, admitting something he hadn't even entirely been aware of himself, leaving him feeling crippled with the intense emotions he was feeling, of love and loss, making him crumble to the hard, cold ground of the cave, broken and full of a consuming love for her. Because…because I'm in love with you!
But, in the end, it hadn't even been her. It had all been a trick. She had never been trapped in that crystal, he had never told the real Kira Nerys that he was in love with her.
She still didn't know.
And he didn't know if that fact was more painful than everything else combined.
Through the transparent windows in the doors to his office, he could see her laugh subside; now she listening to what her friend and co-officer, Jadzia Dax, was saying. He let himself gaze longingly at the residual imprint of the laugh that had settled on Kira's lips in the form of a smile. He noticed how she lifted the PADD in her hand, and how she and Dax would occasionally look at it and laugh. How he wished he could make her laugh like that every day.
But, he had said, time and time again, that he didn't understand the humanoid fascination with love. That he would never understand it. And that devious little Ferengi he had to laboriously deal with every day, Quark, had lectured him once on how he didn't know what it was like to care for another person, how he had never had those feelings, how he had never been in love. How he had all the emotions of a stone. Well, look what that heart of stone was feeling now.
But, while he didn't want to admit it to himself, the words of the female Changeling had made him think, had given him something agonizing to ponder: "She's never going to love you. How could she? You are a Changeling."
Was it true? Would Kira never love him because of who he was? Was his skillessly formed Bajoran face too disturbing to gaze upon lovingly?
He couldn't let himself think these thoughts. They did nothing but hurt him deep inside, where he was vulnerable. And, despite the sarcasm and the cynicism this security chief displayed day-by-day, he was more vulnerable than others perceived.
He watched as Kira and Dax finished their lively conversation. With a friendly word of departure, Dax turned to continue down the Promenade, hands clasped behind her, and Kira turned to walk into his office, that smile still lighting up her face. There was an animated bounce to her step as the doors to his office swished open to admit her; her hands delicately clasped her PADD. Her short red hair shone in the lighting of his office, but he noticed how her smile shone more than anything else.
And he couldn't help but notice that he felt he could melt in her presence.
Not literally, of course.
Kira opened her mouth to speak, laughter radiating from her eyes. "You won't believe what Dax and I have been dealing with all afternoon!" she exclaimed, the words dancing off her tongue, that playful tone to her voice again.
He couldn't help but notice how stunning she was. He couldn't help but think how he would do everything in his power to keep her safe from any harm in the Universe, how he would use all of his cunning as a constable, all of his abilities as a shapeshifter, if he could just forever keep her from harm.
That smile on Kira's face turned to a curious frown. "Odo?" she asked him, undoubtedly confused as to why he was still just staring at her, no words leaving his malformed mouth.
"Yes?" he asked her, noticing that he liked how she said his name. Odo. It sounded more than its true meaning of "nothing" when she said it. When Kira said it, he didn't feel like "nothing".
She gave an awkward little smile and absentmindedly tapped the PADD against her leg. "Is something wrong?"
He blinked, a bit flustered, hoping she wasn't able to tell what he was thinking. He couldn't tell her yet. No, not yet. He just…wasn't ready for it, that was all.
He looked back over to Kira, and all his musings and daydreams came flooding back to him. "Not at all," he answered her. And, with a little smile that was undoubtedly strange to view coming from his odd features, but becoming more and more familiar to Kira, he couldn't stop the next two uncharacteristically enthusiastic words from coming out: "everything's perfect," when you are near me…
Well, I hope you liked it! Yes, it was fluffy, and, yes, it was brimming love and angst, but I just had to post it! I'm currently on Season 4 of DS9 but I wrote this little story right after I watched "Heart of Stone" in Season 3. As you can tell, I'm HUGELY pro-Kira/Odo, and I WISH he would just TELL HER HE LOVES HER ALREADY but he hasn't yet and it's killing me. So, please review! But, know that I am only in the middle of Season 4 and I don't know what happens, or—at the rate they're going—IF anything will happen between Odo and Kira, so please don't give anything away! Oh, and if you liked this story, you might want to check out my profile and read my other Star Trek stories! Thanks for reading! :)
