laying on my bed watching twilight as a knock sounded on my door. i got up and walked over to answer it. opening it up i saw jackson. i smiled and said "hey sugar." he smiled then said " hey what ya doing." i let him in and said " you just caught me watching a very hansome jasper." he smirked and said " is that so." i smiled then said " of course darlin, i cant deny the major of his veiwing time." he chuckled and he pulled me to him then wrapped his arms around me. i put my hands on his chest he then said " well i guess that deserves a kiss right." i then said " i do belive your right sugar." i leaned up and kissed his lips. we kissed for a second when i heard " come on you two i dont have all night." i snickerd and he then said " i was wondering if you would go with me to the set scince we are shooting new moon." i smirked and said " i would love to. let me pack realy fast ok whos outside." he then chuckled and said " kellan." i then said " ok well tell the big goof he can come in while i get my things ready it wont take long 10 minutes at the most. by the way where will i be staying." he smirked and said " acturaly you and me my dear are going to stay in my room on the set. the director thinks it be best to acualy live in the house. when we are filming you can stay in the trailor if you want. who knows they may recruit you as an extra for the movie." i smiled and said " you know i have no intention in ever being in a movie. i barly take pictures im not photo genic ya know." he kissed me again then said " your the most prettiest girl ive known. now ill go get kellan." i nodded and said " ok." he let me go and i started to pack two huge suitcases. i heard them come back in and as i was messing with something i felt something sharp and saw the handle of my zipper broke. i saw blood welling up and i said " just my fucking luck." the jackson walked over then asked " what happened." i smiled and said " my luck of just a small cut." i was fixing to put my finger in my mouth when he took my finger and licked the blood off. i then said " darlin you know you shouldnt do that." he shrugged and said " i know." i saw i bit of blood on his lips then i leaned up then kissed his lips. after a second we pulled back and he asked " what was that for." i smirked and said " you had blood on your lips darlin. what better way to get rid of it." he chuckled then said " my own little vampire." i leaned in and whisper in his ear " only for you darlin only you. but i dont sparkle." he chuckled and after a few more mintes i had everything packed including my backpack full of things to do. we then left and headed to forks. once we got there he said " do you want to go to the house and change or something." i then said " na im good. what about you and brother bear." kellan looked at me then said " na im good sis. by the way sis your looking a bit pale. you feeling ok." i nodded then said " im fine sugar." we got out of the suv and i fixed my hair in the mirror. i sighed looking looking around getting the scence i was being stared at. i then followed jackson. i saw a group of people and he grabbed my hand. we walked over and he said " everyone i want you to meet vera herriman." the pixey like girl walked over then hugged me then said " were going to be good friends. love the shoes." i then said " thanks i guess. i got them online at along with some of my jewlary i brought." she then said " i see i will have to check it out." i shrugged then said " if you want its maily gothic stuff." robert looked at me then asked " your gothic." i smirked then said " yeah vampire gothic to be truthful." jackson then said " so thats why you got fangs and here i thought you got them for me." i looked at jackson then blushed. he chuckled then said " sorry darlin couldnt help myself." i rolled my eyes and said " i think peter and char rubbed off on you sugar." he smirked and said " na." i sighed and jackson then introduced me to everyone. we then got our things then headed to the house. kellan then asked " your staying here with us." i nodded and said " yeah."he grinned then said " we are going to have so much fun." i smiled then said " yeah. but i must warn you i dont sleep much at night." he then said " thats ok." i then went to jaspers room. ashly was already putting my clothes in the closet and unpacking things. i then said " you didnt have to do that. i would have got it." she smiled then said " its fine. so are you and jackson together." i then said " yeah i guess. we havent gotten that far as to talking about us yet." she got done and said " i see. so what do you do for a living." i shrugged and said " massage theropist but im not in the need for money." she looked amazed and said " thats awsome." she then asked " want to go have a tour of the house." i nodded and we took a tour. he stopped by the music room and found alot of intruments inside. i walked in and said " i would love to buy this place. i dont care how remote it is its awsome." she then asked " where did you gow up." i sat down at the piano and said " vici oklahoma. its a small town like forks." she then said " boring isnt it." i nodded and she then left i took out my ipod then put in my head phones. i turned it on and pressed play kesha started playing and i sang to it. i stood up and started to
"Maybe I need some rehab
Or maybe just need some sleep
I got a sick obsession
I'm seeing it in my dreams
I'm looking down every alley
I'm makin' those desperate calls
I'm staying up all night hoping
Hittin' my head against the wall
What you got, boy, is hard to find
I think about it all the time
I'm all strung out, my heart is fried
I just can't get you off my mind
Because your love, your love, your love is my drug
Your love, your love, your love
I said your love, your love, your love is my drug
Your love, your love, your love
Won't listen to any advice
Momma's telling me I should think twice
Better left to my own devices
I'm addicted, it's a crisis
My friends think I've gone crazy
My judgment's getting kinda hazy
My steeze is gonna be affected
If I keep it up like a lovesick crackhead
What you got, boy, is hard to find
I think about it all the time
I'm all strung out, my heart is fried
I just can't get you off my mind
Because your love, your love, your love is my drug
Your love, your love, your love
I said your love, your love, your love is my drug
Your love, your love, your love
I don't care what people say
The rush is worth the price I pay
I get so high when you're with me
But crash and crave you when you leave
Hey, so I gotta question
Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement?
Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum?
Is my love with your drug? Your drug, your drug
Your drug, is my love your drug?
Because your love, your love, your love is my drug
Your love, your love, your love
I said your love, your love, your love is my drug
Your love, your love, your love
Because your love, your love, your love is my drug
Your love, your love, your love
I said your love, your love, your love is my drug
Your love, your love, your love
Hey, hey, so
Your love, your love, your love, your love is my drug
I like your beard"
once the song was over take it off started and i started to sing
"try to tell me what i shouldnt do you know by now i wont listen to you
walk around with my hands up in the air cause i dont care
cause im alright im fine just freak out let it go
im gonna live my life i cant ever run and hide i wont compromise cause ill never know
im gonna close my eyes i cant watch the time go by iwont keep it inside freak out let it go
just freak out let it go
you dont always have to do everything right stand up for yourself and put up a fight
walk around with your hands up in the air like you dont care cause im all right im fine just freak out let it go
im gonna live my life i cant ever run and hide i wont compromise cause ill never know
im gonna close my eyes i cant watch the time go by i wont keep it inside freak out let it go
on my own
let it go
just let me live my life i cant ever run and hide i wont compromise cause ill never know
im gonna close my eyes i cant watch the time go by i wont keep it inside freak out let it go
gonna freak out let it go
gonna freak out let it go"
hearing a chuckled i turned at a breakneck speed and saw jackson,peter,robert,kellan standing there with stunned looking faces. i said " not to be rude but keep those faces like that and they will freeze."jackson then asked " so we was going to head into town and grab somethng to eat do you want anything." i then asked " does the kitchen here realy work. if so why cant i just cook dinner. i'll clean up the mess afterwards." they looked at each other and i heard a yell of " v's going to cook yeah." i then said "nothing gets passed anyone does it." peter then said " no nothing does." i then said " well lets go talk about this so if i need to go get stuff from the store i can." they nodded and we headed down stairs. i was grabbed by kellan and put over his shoulder. i sighed and said "i am so loved." the girls laughed and i grabbed kellans shoulders. pushing myself up i then leaned forward and grabbed his hips. i then flipped over him and landed in a silent croutch.i stood up and walked over then sat down crossing my legs. i sighed and jackson walked over then said " flexible much." i smirked and said " you wish." he smirked and said " yeah." i then said " well yeah i have become more flexible scince before i met you." we then started talking about supper. we all agreed that i would be fixing supper and i said " ok who wants to go to the store with me." ashly then asked " what are you planning on making." i thought for a second then said " anyone like beerox or i may see what all meat they have and i might see about getting ribs. yalls choice." they looked at eacheother then they said " ribs." i then said " ribbs it is. fall off the bone ribs my speaclity." i got up and asked " anything else while im at the store." they shook their heads and my phone went off. i answered it " hey what ya want old man." peter chuckled then said " i brought your car for you to drive." i smiled and said " thank you bro i owe you so much." he laughed then said " no you dont. im guessing you found your mate." i smiled then said " yes i did. have you set the date." he then said " yeah on your 23 bday. thas in two years. im pulling into the drive now." we hung up and i rand outside. i saw my car ad peter parking i ran over to him as he got out. he smirked and said " hey sis. i see your still in good condition." i snorted and queity only for him to hear " yeah for a human. i cant wait to be turned." he then said " yeah i know sis. finaly going to be a whitlock." i smiled then said " yeah." he then said " chars waiting for me in town she wants to see you." i then said " ok lets get going i got stuff to pick up at the store." he nodded and we left. as we drove into town i said " peter i wish jackson remembed everything. i miss jasper." he looked at me then said " darlin it was his idea to go have the voltori turn him human and erase his memories. this was before he met you they had already set the date and everything."i looked at him and said " i miss jasper. i miss the major to i miss his scent and i miss my mate even though im still with him. he doesnt remember me." tears was falling down my cheeks and he said " darling im sorry. i dont know what its like." i then siad " it feels like i have a huge hole in my chest. it hurts so bad. the mating marks dont work anymore." peter then said " darlin you might not have to wait that long to be changed. he bit you what 5 years ago." i nodded and said " yeah they all dont suspect me writing the twilight books. they think its the myers lady."peter smiled then said " then your job is done. does he ever wonder why he has all those scars." i then said " yeah he does. god i miss my mate. i want to have him back so bad." he then said " darlin i know." we pulled up and i saw char. i got out of the car and she walked over then said " hey sugar." i smiled she then asked " whats wrong." i then said " i miss my mate. i miss how he did things. i hate the fact hes human again. it kills me that our marks dont work or that he doesnt remember me."she then said " im sorry sugar but i dont know what to tell you. your bond with his is still there." i dried my tears and said " i cant fall apart like this now their waiting on me to get things for supper." me and char went shopping. payed for everything and bought a carton of cigs along with a lighter. she then said " we will be close by just call." i nodded and said " ok thanks darlin." i got a hug and got in my mustang. i then headed back to the house with my speakers up and my window rolled down as i smoked on a cig as i sang. a to avenged sevenfold's natural born killer."
" One snap for the dying
One click to end the day
Another story with a mangled scene
It couldn't happen any other way
You wanna talk about it?
I'm begging you to walk in my shoes any time
Watch the clock till you unwind
You wanna cry about it
It's making me consider that I've lost my mind
The way I see, you must be blind
So this is the world you left behind
This is the guilt that consumes you
So die alone
This is the one thing that I won't do
So say your prayers
Cause I ain't leaving here without you
Can't bribe me with money
Can't shower me with shame
Another killer from a broken home
Until you come on me with manic fame
You wanna know about it?
Well I'mma be fucking with you every time
Story broken, you're behind
Yeah when you ask about it?
You can rest assured I'll give you my best side
Seems we all have friends to find
So this is the hate I've been born to
Full are the tales of the untrue
So die alone
This is one thing that I won't do
So say your prayers
Cause I ain't leaving here without you
And I'm waiting
Waiting for the days to slowly pass me by
(and all the promises I'll find)
No hesitating, you've pulled the trigger now your story's left behind
I know you want to see me fry
Lock my soul you hope to burn
So die alone
This is the one thing that I won't do
So say your prayers
Cause I ain't leaving here without you
To die unknown
Would crush the fish-lens we all see through
To care the glare
Expose the ugliness we hold true "
as i pulled up into the drive way i turned off the car and put out my smoke. grabbing the bags i grabbed my keys and locked the doors. it then headed to the house. jackson helped carry things to the kitchen. we put things away and he looked at me then said " i smell tears why have you been crying." i looked at him then said " its hard to exsplain and id rather not right now." i absent mindedly reached up and touched my making mark on my neck. i heard a growl and i looked at jackson he then said " im starting to remember darlin dont play koi with me." i then softly said " oh god ive missed you. jazz i missed you so much. ive felt so alone. its been so hard on me. charollet and peter have been so generus to me and have been taking care of me. ive fallen apart with out you. i remember everything. every scar and every bite mark. kissing everyone of them. its the little things you used to do for me that i miss the most." he walked over to me and hugged me. i sighed and he said " let me take care of dinner. you have done more for me than i have for you." i looked at him and said " i still have everything of yours. at the house. i miss my mate." he sent a wave of calm to me and i kissed his lips trailing down to the mating mark on his neck. i then whispered " i love you j. i realy do love you." he let me go and said " i love you to v." i smiled and ran out of the room. running up to the music room i sat down at the piano then started playing and started to sing
"I always needed time on my own,
I never thought I'd, need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone,
And the bed where you lied,
Is made up on your side.
[Refrain]
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
[Chorus]
When you're gone,
The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone,
The face I came to know is missing too!
When you're gone,
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day...
And make it OK...
I miss you.
[Verse 2]
I've never felt this way before,
Everything that I do,
Reminds me of you.
And the clothes you left,
They lie on the floor,
And they smell just like you,
I love the things that you do!
[Refrain]
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
[Chorus]
When you're gone,
The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone,
The face I came to know is missing too!
And when you're gone,
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day...
And make it OK...
I miss you.
[Middle-eight]
We were made for each other,
Out here forever,
I know we were,
Yeah Yeah!
All I ever wanted was for you to know,
Everything I do I give my heart and soul,
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me...
Yeah!
[Chorus]
When you're gone,
The pieces of my heart are missing you!
When you're gone,
The face I came to know is missing too!
When you're gone,
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day...
And make it OK...
I miss you!"
tears started to fall and i started to play and sing
"couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah "
wiping the tears away and i started to play and sing
"it seemed like it was yesterday when i saw your face
he told me how proud you were but i walked away
if only i knew what i new today
i would hold him in my arms
i would take the pain away
thank you for all youve done
forgive all your mistakes
theres nothing i wouldnt do to hear your voice again sometimes i want to call you but i know you wont be there
im sorry for blaming you for everything i just couldnt do and ive hurt myself by hurting you
somedays i feel broke in side but i wont admit sometimes i just want to hide cause its you i miss
and its so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this oooo yeah
would you tell me i was wrong
would you help me understsand
are you looking down upon me
are you proud of who i am
theres nothing i wouldnt do to have just one more chance to look into your eyes and see you looking back oh
im sorry for blaming you for everything i just couldnt do and ive hurt myself oh
if i had just one more day
i would tell you how much ive missed you scince youve been away oh its dangerous and so out of line to try to turn back time
im sorry for blaming you for everything i just couldnt do and ive hurt myself by hurting you"
as i finished playing i heard my phone ring. i picked it up and answered " hello." i heard chars voice " v how are you holding up. do you need anything that we didnt get at the store." i sniffed and said " im fine but my throtes a bit scratchy and feels like its on fire." she then said " its the venom sweety. your changing slowly have been for the past 5 years. are you in pain." i then said " no but i could go for a huge bottle of jd. i dont want to feel right now. i want to be numb. it hurts char it hurts. he remembers a bit but nothing. i want him back to how he was thats all i want if i have to go back to the vol i will to beg and plead to have him back " she then asked " do i need to call mom and dad." i then said " i dont know sis. theres nothing they can do for me but keep me busy." she then said " i see. if you go to the voltori they will be pissed and kill you." i then said " i already feel dead."i then hung up and my phone started to ring again. i saw it was alysha i answered " hey sis." she then said " whats this about you going to the voltori. your mate needs you." i then said " sugar he hasnt needed me for 5 long years he doesnt even remember me let alone know who he is or was." she then said " sweety were worried about you and jasper." i then said " i know hun i dont know how much longer i can put up with this. i begged him not to do it but they said he had to. i dont know what to do." she sighed and said " mom and dad are on their way there as we speak. they should be there in less than 8 hours." i sighed and said " ok." she then said " i love you sis." i smiled then said " i love you to sister." we then hung up and got up. i walked over and plugged in my ipod to the i home. i turned it up and the music started to blast out of the speakers. i sang to it
"Another mission the powers have called me away
Another time to carry the colors again
My motivation an oath I've sworn to defend
To win the honor of coming back home again
No explanation will matter after we begin
Unlock the dark destroyer that's buried within
My true vocation and now my unfortunate friend
You will discover a war you're unable to win
I'll have you know
That I've become
Indestructible
Determination that is incorruptible
From the other side a terror to behold
Annihilation will be unavoidable
Every broken enemy will know
That their opponent had to be invincible
Take a last look around while you're alive
I'm an indestructible
Master of war
Another reason another cause for me to fight
Another fuse uncovered now for me to light
My dedication to all that I've sworn to protect
I carry out my orders without a regret
My declaration embedded deep under my skin
A permanent reminder of how it began
No hesitation when I am commanded to strike
You need to know that you're in for the fight of your life
You will be shown
How I've become
Indestructible
Determination that is incorruptible
From the other side a terror to behold
Annihilation will be unavoidable
Every broken enemy will know
That their opponent had to be invincible
Take a last look around while your alive
I'm an indestructible
Master of war
I'm
Indestructible
Determination that is incorruptible
From the other side a terror to behold
Annihilation will be unavoidable
Every broken enemy will know
That their opponent had to be invincible
Take a last look around while your alive
I am indestructible
Indestructible
Indestructible
Determination that is incorruptible
From the other side a terror to behold
Annihilation will be unavoidable
Every broken enemy will know
That their opponent had to be invincible
Take a last look around while your alive
I'm an indestructible
Master of war"
the rest of the night went well. i stayed up all night while jackson slept typing on my laptop. when 6:00 hit i got up and took a shower. once done in the shower i got out and dried off. walking into the bedroom and to the closet naked. i started to get dressed in a black lacy bra and boyshorts. putting on a black pair of biker shorts and a black mini skirt. putting on a black tank top and a back avenged sevenfold hoddie. putting on my black combat boots. my tattoos showing off. i then walked out and to the vanity in the room i sat down and put my hair in a half ponytail with the bottom part down. i put on a black eyeliner and mascara, black eyeshadow and black lipstick. putting in my snakebites and nosering i smiled at my reflection. grabbing the spider necklace i got from jasper before he was turned and put it on. i got up and saw jackson wasnt in bed. i heard the shower running. i sighed and went and laid out a pair of jean and a shirt for him. i then went to the bathroom door and called out " darlin i layed out a pair of jeans and a shirt for ya. ill be down stairs." i then heard him say " thanks sugar ill be out in a few." i nodded and left. i went down stairs and saw everyone was awake. kellan looked at me then said " damn sis trying to make everyone jellous." i then said " na."i heard someone in the kitchen. i walked in there and saw mom and dad. i then said " mother father what a suprise." mom smiled and said " dear you look beutiful. charollet called us as we got off the plane and asked us to pick you up something." dad then handed me a bag. i opened it seeing a bottle of blood and whisky. i smiled then said " thanks." he smiled then said " its fresh." i took it out and said " you didnt have to." dad walked over then said " your our daughter just as much as the others are." i hugged him then said " i know." i then opened the bottle then started to drink it. it calmbed the fire in my throte. half way done with the bottle i put the lid on it and said "that helped wonders." he smiled then he grabed my arm. taking a look at the bite mark on my wrist. he then said " its still there." i then said " i know. so where are you staying at." they smiled and said " the cabin at the back of the property." i then said " this is your house." they nodded and mom said " yes it is. the room your staying in was intended to be yours and jasps room that is if you two were going to stay with us some." i smiled then said " its beuitful. mom do you have anything of his." she nodded and said " yes sweety we do. its in his studdy. nothing has been touched or moved. i know you miss him." i nodded then said " yes i realy do. he says hes starting to remember but i dont see how." carlisle smiled then said " babygirl he might start remembering things on his own. does he know about you going to be turned." i then said " i dont know." they then sighed and mom said " i made breakfast for everyone. we better get back to the house. ill see you soon. the others send their love." i hugged them and dad took the blood with him. once we was done eating i exspored the rest of the house. i found his study and i sat in it loving the smell of his scent. i then went down stairs and out of the house. he saw me and said " come on the director wants to see you." i walked with him and came to a travel trailer. we walked in and she looked at me. she then said " how would you like to be a voltori vampire the girl that was going to play jane cant be in the movie cause she is taking care of a very sick family member." i sighed and said " sure ill play the part. what is her power." she then said 'her power is pain." i then said " k. let me see the script and ill go over it. ill be ready by thing time we shoot." she smiled then said " glad to hear it." a pain went up my arm from where the bite james gave me. i wince and i said " ill be going now." once out of the trailor the pain increaced and i was on my knees in a matter of seconds. i held my arm i whispered " mom send dad." in a matter of seconds dad walked infront of me and picked me up. he sighed then said " whats wrong." i wince and said " the bite mark from james its hurting." he walked us back into the house and to his studdy he laid me on the couch and said " im going to give you morphone to take the pain away." he did as he said. jasper walked in and asked " whats wrong with her." i then said " its the venom its making my arm hurt. it does this every so oftten." mom looked at me then said " why dont you just tell him." i then said " no if he wanted to know he shouldnt have ever agreed to be turned back human. i would rather have the major ride my ass then wonder lifeless with out my mate. it hurts and theres nothing i can do about it but suffer." mom sighed and said " if you dont stop this your going to be very bitter about this." i then said " i already am bitter mother.i just want this to end." i got up and headed to jaspers and my room. laying on the bed i curlled up into a ball and hugged my knees.
