Good Friends, Bad Habits

Chapter Six: Things We Can Stick Places


"Now, I'm supposed to teach you all about magical control in uncomfortable situations," Luna said, eyes fixed dreamily on the far wall where a magical poster was demonstrating the effects of some rather awful MSTD's. "As many of us learned back in Dumbledore's Army, the best way to learn is by doing. Let's all partner up, and we'll get started."

Hermione instantly felt all of her muscles tighten in unease. 'Partnering up' in a class meant for teaching control during sex? Absolutely no good could come of that. Despite her apprehension, she had to fight back a grin as George sauntered over to Zacharias' table and stretched himself across it like an old-school Muggle lounge singer reclining suggestively on a piano.

"Well, lover-boy, let's hop to it," George purred before sucking one of his own fingers into his mouth in a manner that was far too sexual for anyone in the room to be comfortable while it was happening. Zacharias watched with wide terrified eyes as the redhead slowly pulled the finger out of his mouth, and then, in an impossibly fast movement, George was sitting upright on the table with his saliva-covered digit inserted firmly into Zacharias' ear.

"Surprise!" George crowed, prancing away before the irate man could even shake off the whole-body tremor of disgust that gripped him.

Hermione was now red-faced as she turned away from the spectacle, only to become even more red-faced when she found Fred sprawled out across their own table, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at her.

"If you so much as think of sticking your finger in my ear, I'll curse it off, Fred Weasley," she said flatly, watching him with suspicious eyes.

Fred grinned, sitting up and swinging his legs around so that he was leaning casually against the desktop. "I can think of much better places to stick my fingers, thank you very much," he whispered just a little too loudly. Hannah and Tiffany, at the nearest table, broke into hysterical giggles. They were already nearly breathless from watching George torture Zacharias.

"Fred Weasley!" Hermione groaned, rolling her eyes and trying to hide her reddening cheeks.

He just grinned, eyes sparkling with laughter as he turned and pretended to give Luna his full attention.

"We're going to do some exercises, and you're going to have to control your magic while in close proximity with another person," Luna explained, standing next to Tiffany who was left partnerless thanks to George's early claim on Zacharias. The latter raised his hand, a glare fixed on his face.

"Yes?" Luna asked dreamily.

"I want a different partner. I don't want to be in close proximity with another bloke."

George rolled his eyes, slapping a hand on Zacharias' ass. He flew a few feet into the air, yelping.

"You'd have to have a bit more meat on you to tempt me," George said matter-of-factly as the now blushing and even angrier Zacharias turned his full glare on him. "Also, a bit less meat on you in other places, if you get my meaning," George continued, staring pointedly at the Hufflepuff's crotch. "Though I supposed there can't be too much there to start with. I've always thought you seemed a bit insecure about something…"

Luna continued as if Zacharias had never spoken. "So now that we're all in pairs, let's begin. Try to cast a basic shield charm while your partner holds your hand."

Hermione shifted uncomfortably as Fred sidled closer to her; if it were anyone else (excepting George) she wouldn't have had a worry in the world. She'd done magic holding Harry and Ron's hands plenty of times. Fred was a different story.

"Who first?" he asked brightly, holding out his hand for her to grasp.

She eyed it for a moment, half-expecting to see some sort of electric shock-button on his palm as a prank. He grinned broadly as he caught her weary look. "Come on, Granger. Would I really prank you when that boob Zacharias is here, just begging for all of our Weasley Twin attention?"

"I've found that you and George have always had more than enough energy and creativity to prank as many people as you'd like," Hermione muttered, gingerly taking Fred's hand. He chuckled, squeezing her hand in his rather larger, more calloused one.

"You're full of complements today, Hermione," he said, pulling his wand out of his pocket and easily casting the shield spell wordlessly. "If you keep that up, my fingers won't be the only thing I stick in you." Hermione's face turned bright red, and she sputtered angrily for some sort of condemnation. Fred was laughing, head thrown back and shoulders shaking merrily. Angry as she was, Hermione couldn't help but admire him. She'd always loved how the twins laughed- Fred, always with reckless abandon, throwing his whole body into the action; George tended to fold in on himself as he laughed, clutching his ribs and shrinking- the opposite of his twin.

"Fred Weasley!" she hissed, trying to tear her hand away from his in protest to his bawdy comment. He just laughed harder, holding her hand tighter and tugging her closer.

"You know I'm only joking, Hermione," he chuckled in her ear, and she gritted her teeth. "Also…" he added thoughtfully before trailing off.

"Also what?" Hermione demanded, trying to wriggle out of his entirely too-close embrace.

"Also, I've always liked how you say my name like that. The whole thing, you know? And so disapproving, like I've puked on one of your precious books or something," he whispered, like he was telling her a very important secret.

Hermione was half-watching the rest of the room, waiting on someone to notice how inappropriately close Fred was to her. Everyone else's attention seemed to be completely focused on some havoc George's apparently failed shield charm was wreaking on Zacharias Smith's face, though the poor Hufflepuff couldn't do anything about it as George was still resolutely holding his wand-hand and attempting to cast his shield charm the correct way, smiling all the while.

"You have puked on one of my books before," Hermione muttered sourly.

Fred looked thoughtful for a moment, then smirked. "Oh yeah, sixth year. Good times."

Hermione snorted, glaring up at the redhead. "You're a piece of work, Fred. You really are."

"And you haven't cast your shield charm yet," he pointed out, finally allowing her to put a decent amount of distance between them.

"Protego," Hermione said firmly, pointing her wand between George and Zacharias while keeping her disapproving eyes locked on Fred. The odd feathery-tentacles that had erupted across Zacharias' face dropped to the floor and disintegrated. George beamed.

"It's okay everyone, seems I've finally mastered it," he called happily, clapping his unhappy Hufflepuff partner on the back. "What's next? Snogging?" He sighed dramatically, then puckered his lips. "Come on, big boy. Take one for the team."

Zacharias gagged and darted out of the classroom, maybe suffering an after-effect of whatever strange tentacle charm George had "accidentally" cast on him, or maybe just suffering from a severe premonition of what might befall him next.

"Break time," Luna called serenely.


A/N: So there's a new chapter. Thanks for all the reviews and support! You're all lovely and wonderful.

-Quarters