F is for Ferris Wheel
Putting down the bags filled with souvenirs from the musical on a wooden bench outside the Amusement Park, Touko fished her ringing Xtransceiver out of her bag before answering it. Pansage climbed up onto the bench and sat down, letting out a tired sigh. Swinging his feet, he watched his trainer talk on the Xtransceiver before becoming bored and decided to dig through her bags of souvenirs.
Cheren's face appeared on the screen of her Xtransceiver and she greeted him timidly. The last time she had spoken to Cheren was when she had told him to leave her alone, at N's Castle. It seemed like a few days ago when in actuality it was a few weeks.
The corners of his lips twitched and curved downward slightly when Touko finally answered. Seeing his expression, Touko instantly felt guilty for not calling him or making time to talk to him earlier. Before she had left Nuvema Town to search for the Sages, she had run into Bianca and the two of them had chatted for a while. She would've talked to Cheren too but she hadn't seen him and her mind was preoccupied. Back then, nothing seemed to matter to her except N. Of course, N was still important to her but at any rate, he didn't occupy her mind at all hours of the day now. She felt at peace with herself and even though she didn't know what to do with the rest of her life, she wasn't worried.
"Touko," Cheren acknowledged with a dip of his head. His navy blue eyes stared at her and he remained quiet, as if waiting for her to start talking.
"I-is there some reason for you to call me?" Touko asked with a stammer. His intense gaze was making her nervous and as her memories began to resurface, she became even tenser. She remembered that Cheren had always despised N and he was the reason she had told Cheren to leave her alone the last time the two of them spoke. Touko knew either Touya or Bianca must've told Cheren about her and her spiral into disarray. After all, the four of them told each other (almost) everything.
"Why do you seem to be afraid of me?" he asked with a straight face, making it hard to tell what he was thinking.
Blinking her eyes, Touko forced a wavy smile onto her lips. "You're funny, Cheren. Why would I be scared of you? I was just surprised you called, that's all."
"Where are you right now?" he asked rather abruptly, not bothering to answer her question or to explain the reason behind the call.
"I'm in Nimbasa City. I had planned to go back home today but Pansage persuaded me to stay here for another day. He wanted me to 'enjoy the sights'," Touko quoted, a glimmer of amusement dancing in her bright blue eyes.
Cheren stared at her again, noting the look in her eyes. "I'll meet you in front of the Musical in twenty-five minutes."
She stared back at him with wide eyes and asked him why. He didn't reply and repeated what he said before hanging up. Sitting down on the bench dumbfounded, Touko placed her Xtransceiver back into her bag. She could've sworn she heard Cheren murmur a quiet "please" before he had hung up. Cheren wasn't a rude person but they were hardly ever polite around each other and they only used pleasantries when being sarcastic or when they were serious...
"Pan pansage!" the grass monkey stated. Noticing his trainer's confusion, he had stood up on the bench and grabbed her hand, pointing in the direction of the theatre. The only way to find out what he wants is to go meet him.
xxx
"Touko."
She turned around and spotted the black haired trainer walking toward her. Smiling lightly at him, she waved and walked over to him while Pansage slowly followed, overwhelmed by the weight of the bags.
"So why did you want to meet with me here?" Touko asked when she stood in front of him. Since she had last seen him, Cheren had grown taller and his facial features were more defined. His hair had grown slightly longer and looked shinier too.
"No one has seen or heard from you in quite a while," he replied, still avoiding her question.
"And you decided to take action and find me?" she asked.
Cheren shook his head and looked away, sighing. "Touya told us he had a hunch that you were back in Nimbasa."
"Then why did you bother calling me?"
Her question was met with silence, making her uncomfortable. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and glanced at Cheren's back. His behaviour confused her and she didn't know what to say. She would be glad to lend him an ear and listen to his problems and he knew that, so his silence bothered and baffled her.
When Cheren finally did turn around, his gaze caught hers and he stared at her. His eyes were clouded with...something that she couldn't identify.
Touko's mind started to rewind and she remembered seeing that same look on his face before. It was in Dragonspiral Tower after she had defeated Brycen and the two of them went in to rid the Tower of Team Plasma. The many Grunts had challenged Touko to Pokémon battles in which she easily won.
When she had neared the top, four Grunts took her on, one after the other and fatigued her Pokémon. Up against the last Grunt, it was her Zebstrika against his Krokorok. The thunderbolt Pokémon had taken many hits from the Grunt's Watchdog and was running out of energy. When the Grunt had called his Krokorok to use Mud Slap and then Crunch, Touko knew Zebstrika wouldn't be able to take both attacks. As Krokorok neared Zebstrika to use Crunch, she ran in front of the thunderbolt Pokémon and took the attack in her shoulder. This gave Zebstrika a chance to retaliate and she finished off the Krokorok with a swift Flame Charge.
Touko hugged her Pokémon before stumbling as her shoulder throbbed painfully. Somehow Cheren had magically appeared at her side and started scolding her for taking a Pokémon's attack. He had an unreadable emotion clouding his determined eyes as he chased away the Grunts and the Sage. She had smiled weakly at him before letting him examine her shoulder for any signs of bleeding.
Snapping out of her memories, Touko raised an eyebrow and stared questioningly at Cheren. "Can you give me an answer, Cheren?"
Closing his eyes, Cheren inhaled before opening them. Looking intently at Touko, he murmured, "I missed you."
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped. Never in her life had she heard such words come from Cheren before. He was never the sort of person that showed their emotions, instead, he bottled them up. Touko only knew this fact since the first time she had seen him cry was back when they were six. Bianca and herself had cried many times before that and Cheren was always the one comforting them. Even as kids he didn't show his emotions easily.
"W-what do you mean by that, Cheren?" Touko asked, her voice wavering.
He turned and looked away from her, running a hand through his hair anxiously. "I missed talking to you, Touko. I missed when we would hang out. I missed you."
"I-I'm sorry Cheren. Maybe you can call Bianca and Touya and the four of us can hang out together again like when we were young?" Touko suggested, wanting to cheer Cheren up. She had never seen him like this before and it scared her.
"That's not what I meant," he replied with a shake of his head.
"Then what did you mean?"
Cheren sighed and turned back to face her. "I love you, Touko."
"C-Cheren, y-you're not serious, are you?"
That was a rhetorical question and she knew it but she asked anyway. She found the entire situation to be unbelievable. The two of them, along with Bianca and Touya, had been friends ever since they had been kids. They knew almost everything there was to be known about each other. When one of them was upset, they would turn to the other for comfort. Touko considered them to be her best friends but she had never thought about their relationship going any further. Bianca was like the sister that she never had while Touya was like an eager little brother to her. Cheren, with his knowledge, was like an older brother to her. She never imagined Cheren as boyfriend material, to her, he was off limits and he never sent her heart racing.
He continued staring at her, waiting for her to say something. When Touko failed in delivering a response, he figured what her answer would be. "It's N, isn't it?" Cheren asked his voice tense and a hint of anger lingering beneath.
All Touko could do was stare at him with wide eyes. "W-what?" she stammered as a shiver ran up her spine, chilling her bones. "It's not like that, Cheren! I just... don't think of you like that. You're like a brother to me!"
"So that's how it is then," he replied. Turning to face the other way, he started walking to the gate leading out of Nimbasa.
"Cheren, wait!" Touko hurried after him, putting a hand on this shoulder to prevent him from leaving. He flinched as she made contact with him and she withdrew her hand. "W-we're still friends, right? I'd hate to lose you as a friend. You're special to me."
"We're still friends," Cheren replied but he didn't bother facing her as he said it. "See you later, Touko." With that said, Cheren left, leaving Touko standing there.
"I think I've hurt him badly," she murmured to herself. Guilt flooded her and she bit her lip. It wasn't her fault that she didn't feel that way about him and she couldn't change her feelings.
"Pansage sage pan," the grass monkey advised. Hearing Pansage shocked Touko as she had forgotten all about him. The bags were at his side and he looked up at her with wide smile. Don't dwell on it too much or you'll be all depressed again. Be happy!
xxx
The sun was quickly setting, casting its rays out into the horizon. Touko smiled as Pansage, followed by Unfezant and Emboar walked out of the Nimbasa gym. She had spent the past two hours in the Amusement Park, hoping to forget about what happened with Cheren.
Hearing his confession like that surprised her. He had never shown any signs of being infatuated/in love with her but this was Cheren, he hardly showed any signs of emotion. She couldn't help but remember their journey throughout Unova though. Every time she was with Cheren and the two of them spotted N, he would become quite angry and his eyes would narrow. Touko had thought it was because N's ideals clashed with Cheren's but now she wasn't so sure, it seemed more like Cheren was jealous, but why?
"Sage, pansage!" Don't think about it. C'mon, play with us, Touko!
A wider smile popped up on her face as Pansage dragged her toward the game booths, leaving Emboar and Unfezant to watch the bags. Stoutland and Zebstrika had gone off somewhere in the Amusement Park to relax, not wanting to join the others in playing "silly games".
xxx
"Pansage, are you finished yet? It's getting late."
He shook his head and smiled, pointing his finger in the direction of the Ferris wheel. "Pan pansage pan." Just one more ride. Let's go on that one.
Seeing the Ferris wheel reminded Touko of her first ride on it, with N. When N had disclosed to her that he was the King of Team Plasma, she had been shocked. After the initial shock had worn off, she felt betrayed by him. Of course, now she knew he had no choice in the matter but that didn't help back then.
Noticing the look of reminiscence on Touko's face, Pansage grinned and dragged the trainer over to the Ferris wheel. All of Touko's other Pokémon were back in their Pokéballs, exhausted from playing, except for Unfezant who kept watch over the bags filled with souvenirs from the musical.
"Alright, fine but this is the last one, okay?"
The grass monkey nodded his head and beamed at her.
xxx
Pansage sat next to Touko as the Ferris wheel started up and climbed into the night sky. The sun had finally set and the moon had emerged. Only a few people were on the Ferris wheel this late at night and Touko felt relaxed.
As they went higher and higher, Touko stood and pressed herself up against the glass to get a better look at the scenery beneath them. An array of stars twinkled and shimmered up in the sky and the many streetlamps shone like tiny jewels down in the streets of Nimbasa. This was the first time Touko had ever seen such a sight and she revelled in it.
The grass monkey smiled happily as he watched his trainer enjoy herself. This was also the first time Pansage had gotten to see such a sight but he didn't bother to enjoy it. There was something else for him to do...
Looking out the glass in the other direction, Pansage scanned the night sky for a white Pokémon. Unbeknownst to the green haired teen, Pansage had noticed him there the previous night. Although he hadn't seen what N did, he knew N was the reason Touko woke up feeling more cheerful, even if she didn't know it. All Pansage wanted (he was sure the others, especially Unfezant, felt the same) was for Touko to be happy. They all knew N's absence and his departure made their trainer depressed and took away her purpose in life, leaving her dazed and confused, to stumble through life.
His rather large ears twitched and he listened carefully. The faint sound of the flapping of wings echoed through the silent air, filling Pansage with excitement.
The Ferris wheel stopped as it reached its highest point, letting its passengers enjoy the fantastic night view. Touko gasped as she saw Nimbasa from a different point of view. "It's so beautiful, Pansage."
The monkey muttered an agreement but made no effort to look. He could already hear the steady beating of wings and within seconds, the vast white Pokémon came into view. Pansage couldn't figure out how Touko hadn't notice Reshiram getting closer and closer, it was such an obvious sight!
Still getting distracted by the brilliant night view, Touko remained oblivious as Reshiram paused beside the Ferris wheel. Pansage waved at the green haired teen and he smiled back. Looking at Touko and N, Pansage wondered if it would be a good idea to tell Touko...
"You're not even paying attention to me, are you Pansage?" Touko asked, exasperation lacing her tone. She turned away from the glass to scold the monkey when she let out a gasp.
Her eyes bulged out at the scene of the elegant legendary and the green haired teen. "N," she whispered.
He smiled at her and beckoned for her to join him. Stunned by the sight of him, she couldn't move and just shook her head. "This is just a dream, isn't it Pansage? I'll wake up any minute now and find myself back in the Pokémon Center in my room."
Pansage shook his head and, as gently as he could, shot seeds at her, making her flinch. "Pansage pan." If you were asleep than that wouldn't have hurt.
"This can't be real..."
The Ferris wheel started up again, moving slowly as it completed its round. As Touko exited the ride with Pansage following, N dismounted from Reshiram, returning the legendary to its Pokéball and greeted her at its entrance.
"Touko," he breathed, enjoying the sound of her name on his tongue.
Her head snapped up in the direction of his voice and she stared. Pansage nodded at the green haired teen and walked away, giving them space and time to talk alone.
N's long legs ate up the gap between them and in a blink of an eye he was standing in front of her. Looking down at Touko, his emerald eyes bore into her bright blue ones. They stood like that for a while, neither of them knowing what to say.
"...Why have you returned?" Touko finally whispered; her voice so soft that he had to strain to make out her words. She broke their gaze and took a step back, hanging her head.
A flash of disappointment and sorrow flowed through him, making him flinch. He didn't know what he had expected her to say but this reaction was not what he had in mind. He imagined her to be happy, glad that he was back or angry that he had abandoned her in the first place.
Touko felt her knees go weak as she waited for his response. Her heartbeat increased along with her breathing as she tried to calm herself. For weeks she had imagined finding N and seeing him again. How that he was right in front of her, she didn't know what to do.
The silence stretched out between them and Touko's legs gave out, causing her to fall. Before she collapsed onto the ground, N caught her, holding her gently by her elbows. Instead of feeling the coldness of the ground and feeling a person's warmth, Touko looked up, right into N's emerald eyes and gasped.
Memories of the past flashed in her mind like a camera, showing her all the times the two of them had been together. The last scene that played was when he left on Reshiram and she had fallen to the ground, feeling waves of anguish wash over her. What now...?
"Why are you here?" Touko asked again, directing her gaze at him. She had shaken his arms off and now stood a ways away from him. She couldn't trust herself with him so near. Her emotions raged and her mind refused to try to comprehend any of it.
xxx
"Fezant unfe," the proud Pokémon grumbled as the grass monkey approached her. You sure took your time.
Pansage smiled at her and sat down besides her, leaning against the bags. Unfezant paused, looking around before turning to the monkey questioningly. "Fezant?" Where's Touko?
"Sage pansage pan," he replied, pointing in the direction of the Ferris wheel. Over there with her special someone.
"Zant?" Unfezant cawed in surprise. He's back?"
The monkey nodded and told his friend to calm down. They need time to talk, don't you think so?
Unfezant rolled her eyes gestured with her wing, grumbling under her breath. As if there's anything to talk about. He's hurt her without knowing it and he expects her to be happy that he's back?
xxx
"I... don't know, Touko," N finally replied, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his pants. His voice was also soft but unlike hers, she could hear every single word he said. Her heart jumped for joy at the sound of his voice but she willed herself to not react.
"What do you mean by that?" she questioned, deliberately looking away.
Taking in a deep breath, N took a step toward her. "After I left, I didn't know what to do. I had no purpose in life anymore, none worthwhile, at least. You showed me that trainers treated their Pokémon like how they treated their human friends. You showed me that not all Pokémon feel the same way that the Pokémon Fath- Ghetsis showed me did. My ideal world meant nothing anymore. All I wanted was for Pokémon to live happy lives, to be free from pain and hurt. But now I see that they are happy, especially when they're with their trainers. I don't want to torture them and force them to leave."
"So what do you plan to do now?" Touko murmured, stunned at N's explanation. She hadn't known how much she had changed his ideals by, but she was glad. Trainers loved their Pokémon and their Pokémon loved them back, they deserved to be together.
"I don't know. All I knew was that I belong in Unova and that I wanted to return," N said. He looked at her and gave her a small smile, warming her beneath her skin. "I wanted to see you again."
"M-me? Why me?" she stuttered, surprised at his confession. She still had yet to determine if the two of them were friends, if their relationship went beyond rivals and enemies. She wished, with all her heart that it did.
"There's something about you that draws me to you. The way you treat your Pokémon is different compared to all the other trainers I've met. You're special, Touko."
Touko's cheeks flared up as a blush crept up the side of her face and she was glad it was night, otherwise N would see her blushing, possibly taking her reaction the wrong way. "I still don't understand, N. Why have you come back?"
His smile faded and his lips thinned out into a line as he thought over what he wanted to say. "Perhaps I never wanted to leave in the first place."
"T-then why did you-"
"I couldn't stay, Touko! My Fath- Ghetsis had just been arrested and even though Alder had forgiven me for what I did, I couldn't forgive myself. I was nothing but a puppet for him, easily used and manipulated. That Castle held all my memories as a child and I wanted to break free from it but it was also my only home. I had no one to turn to, nowhere to go."
"But you said you left to figure out what you wanted to do with your life," she exclaimed.
"It was just an excuse. I couldn't stay there and there was nowhere in Unova for me to go without being recognized," N stated. "I'm sorry, Touko."
"What are you sorry for? You did nothing wrong!"
"That may be true but I'm still sorry. I've hurt you, haven't I?"
Touko froze, feeling her heart beating faster than it ever had before. How had he known? "H-how did you..."
"I can see it in your eyes. Your emotions are contradicting with your thoughts. You're glad to see me again but also feeling hurt at the memories I bring back. Am I right?"
She gave him a brief nod. Everything he said was true.
"Touko, there's one thing I want to ask you," N said. His own heart was beating fast and his breathing was uneven. His voice was off from its usual demeanour as unease pounded his chest. "Can we be friends?"
Touko blinked before turning her bright blue eyes on him. That was all he wanted to ask her? Joy erupted through her body and she fought to keep a grin from breaking out on her face. "Yes, I would love to have you as a friend, N," she replied simply. The look she gave him said all that needed to be said between the two of them.
xxx
"Unfe fezant feh?" Unfezant questioned, anxiously waiting for her trainer to appear. Do you think we should check on her to make sure he hasn't done anything to her?
"Pansage pan," he replied. He won't do anything to harm her. Reshiram will make sure of that.
"Fezant feh," she scoffed. I don't trust that dragon.
"Sage pansage... pan!" But she's a legendary and...look!
The pair turned and stared into the horizon. The Ferris wheel continued to move in a circular motion even though night had approached long ago. Even from far away, they could make out two figures riding on it.
"Pansage pan pansage sage," the grass monkey stated happily. I told you he wouldn't ever hurt Touko. They look happy up there.
xxx
The two teens sat beside each other on the Ferris wheel, neither of them saying anything. Memories of the last time they had ridden the Ferris wheel together washed over them, making Touko grimace and N flinch.
"This ride is better than the last one, isn't it?" Touko asked jokingly, trying to ease the tension between the two of them. It was a last minute decision for them to ride the Ferris wheel. It was getting late and Touko had planned to return to the Pokémon Center to get some sleep before heading back to Nuvema Town the next day.
N had caught the strap of her bag as she turned to walk away and wondered if it was possible for them to ride the Ferris wheel first. She couldn't deny his request and together they got on.
"What do you plan to do now, N?" she asked, breaking the silence again. The ride was fast approaching its end and after that confrontation, she felt awkward to be around him with silence filling the air.
"I'm not sure. I plan to return to the Castle though, it's my only home," N replied quietly.
The Ferris wheel stopped and the pair of them got off. They started walking toward the entrance of the Amusement Park and neither of them spoke. Unfezant and Pansage spotted them and quieted down, looking at their trainer for further instructions.
"Thanks Unfezant, I can carry those. Return," Touko stated, aiming the Pokéball at the proud Pokémon. A red light emitted from the ball and Unfezant disappeared into it, leaving Pansage still out. She took out another Pokéball and also returned Pansage before picking up the bags.
As they got nearer to the entrance, Touko turned to N. "I guess this is where we part ways. I'm going back to Nuvema Town to figure out what I want to do," she told him.
He nodded, signalling that he had heard her but didn't reply, letting silence drift between them. Finally, N asked, "Whatever happened to your dream, Touko?"
"I lied," she replied simply. "I said it in hopes of making you feel better. After the battle, I've been wandering through Unova in hopes of finding you. I had no idea what to do with myself and I still don't. That's why I'm going back home."
N looked at her and the corners of his lips twitched, curving into a small smile. "I guess in that respect, we're quite similar. We both don't know what to do with our lives."
Touko shrugged her shoulders and her gripped tightened around the handle of the bags.
"Would like you to come to the Castle with me? As my friend, that is. I-I wouldn't mind having someone with me. That place holds many of my memories."
She thought for a moment and smiled at him. Her heart fluttered at the thought of being with him, sending waves of happiness rolling through her body. "As your friend, I would say yes, but I would still like to go home first. After all, I bought all these souvenirs to give to my mom," Touko replied with a grin.
N's shoulders relaxed and he smiled back at her. Turning to face the entrance, they both walked out and onto the streets of Nimbasa. "Shall I wait for you here while you go home?" he asked.
She shook her head, no. "There's no need for that. I want you to come with me."
"A-are you sure about that? What would your mother say? I am the person that most trainers in Unova hate."
"That would be Ghetsis, not you and besides, my mom is pretty open-minded. She won't mind, unless you attempt certain activities with me," Touko said in a suggestive tone, causing N to blush. He looked away, much to Touko's amusement, to let his face cool when she caught a glimpse of his necklace, dangling from his neck, which reminded her...
Reaching into her bag, Touko pulled out something that had given her hope and made her feel sad at the same time: N's keychain. She dangled it in front of him before taking his hand in hers and placing it in his palm. "I can finally return it to you," she whispered softly, a smooth contrast to her earlier teasing tone.
That keychain had been with her ever since N had left up until now. When she had thoughts of never seeing him again and started crying, she would run her hand along the keychain until her pounding heart would stop.
"Y-you kept it all this time?" N asked, disbelief shining in his emerald eyes. After he had flown away on Reshiram and noticed his keychain was gone, he hadn't bothered going back to the Castle to retrieve it as he thought Touko would still be there. When he returned to Unova, retrieving the keychain had slipped from his thoughts completely. He never thought it was in her possession.
"Of course," she replied softly, smiling.
"Thank you," he murmured, forming a fist around the object. It felt cool in his warm hand and he felt shivers running up and down his body at feeling its familiar texture. "Thank you, Touko."
She smiled at him again before taking his hand in hers once more, pulling him in the direction of the Pokémon Center. "Tomorrow you're going to Nuvema Town with me. Afterwards we can go to the Castle. Right, my friend?" Touko declared.
"Right," N responded, feeling his own lips curving up into a happy smile. It had been too long since he had felt positive emotions within himself. It felt good, really good.
"C'mon then!"
A/N: First of all, thanks to everyone that had bothered reading/reviewing this story. Every time I get a review or a fave or alert for this story, I get really happy. So I would like to thank all of you :D
Second, I apologize if N seems OOC. I wasn't quite sure how to write his character or how to approach this chapter. I hope you guys like how this ended up though ^_^ This chapter was supposed to end after Pansage and Unfezant talked to each other but it didn't seem quite right to me, so I ended up writing another one thousand words of text XD
By the way, the Cheren thing will be explained and explored in future chapters. Just pretend there was something going on between Touko and Cheren before the start of this story (like during the journey). I'm sorry if this chapter seemed to focus on Checkmateshipping, it's one of my favourites :3
Happy Leafing~!
