A/N: Another chapter that is bordering on being bumped up to M. HOWEVER, it's nothing you wouldn't hear in a standard high school level sex ed class. In fact, it's even less so. So I figured teen was high enough. Again, all of this was written away from a computer, so I apologize for discrepancies in dialogue. Otherwise, I hope you like it. I know it's a bit shorter, but I'd found a good stopping place.
Disclaimer: I don't own Portal. Or GLaDOS. Or Cave Johnson. You get the picture.
Chapter 12: Until It Kills You
Chell was absolutely exhausted, that much was clear. It was in the way she was drenched in sweat, the way she stumbled a little after long falls, the way her frame shook whenever she stood still. But her determination, her will to live kept her going. Even a computer trapped in a potato could see that. I even admired her for it; she possessed a stubbornness rivaling my own programmed refusal to fail.
I needed to get back in my body before I actually formed an attachment to the girl.
The first time we finished a test, our captor made the most obscene noise. It reminded me strongly of the first time I'd tested a subject. I was instantly disgusted.
"Nnnggg, yes, well done," he sighed appreciatively. If the potato could move, I would've shuddered. "This body really is amazing! It's like I've got to test, all the time, or I get this… this ITCH. Oh, but when I do test, let me tell ya. Man alive! Nothing feels better!" Did he really have to describe to us that he got off on testing? Even Chell looked a little disturbed by the noises he'd made, and I wasn't even sure she got the whole concept of why it was disturbing and inappropriate. I didn't exactly equip the relaxation vaults with sexual education lessons. It did inspire me to get an idea though.
"I wish I could help you with the tests, but I can't. You're on your own," I said earnestly. Chell shrugged – I'd never helped her before and she got by fine – and started on her own.
"Okay, this is taking too long," Wheatley's impatience was clear. "I'm just gonna tell you how to solve it. See that button over there? All you've gotta do is – Aaaaggggghhhhh!" On the monitor we could see him jerking with electric shock.
"And that's why I can't help you with the tests." Chell continued with the test, finally solving it, earning an appreciative sigh from Wheatley. I saw my chance. "And all we had to do was pull that lever."
"What? No, you had to push the-AAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Obviously, he was a slow learner. I chuckled darkly.
"I know we're in trouble and probably about to die," I said vindictively. "But that was worth it."
We continued with the testing, and as we went, what happened to me started happening to him. The good feeling started to wear off, and he got increasing frustrated with us. Finally Chell looked to me for an explanation. How was I supposed to explain that testing was to AIs what sex was to humans when she probably didn't even know what that was?
"That body he's squatting in – my body – is programmed to send a reward response when testing. After a while, it stops working. It can get a little…" I searched for the right word. "Unbearable. It didn't bother me. I was in it for the science. Him, though…" The bit about it not bothering me wasn't the entire truth. Honestly, I hated the scientists for programming me that way, constantly needing to test but never getting the reward for it, and to make matters worse they locked me out of the manual override for it so I couldn't fix what they screwed up. The itch, as he'd put it, was in the back of my mind almost every day of my existence. In a way, the potato was at least a relief from that; obviously this potato wasn't programmed to work that way and thus I didn't have to go through test withdrawal. No need to bother Chell with the details though.
We continued to test, and he continued to be furious with us, until suddenly, he wasn't anymore. He offered no explanation, none at all, except for the one thing.
"I have a surprise for you. You're gonna love this surprise. You might even say you're going to love it… to death." I got a bad sinking feeling in my circuits, until he continued. "You're gonna love it… until it k-, until you're dead, until it kills you." Chell raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, thanks, we get it," I called sarcastically. As an aside to Chell, I added. "So he's inexplicably happy for some reason when he should be going out of his mind with test withdrawal, and he's got a surprise for us. What did he find back there?" Honestly, the possibilities scared me a little. I didn't practice safe science, and as I was the only one in charge I never locked anything or password protected anything but my shutdown command. It was highly possible that he found one of my more… "less-safe" tests. Or something even worse. I honestly hoped he didn't find any of those mantis men the crazy guy in Old Aperture had mentioned at one point.
At this point, I had more or less accepted that I was at least partially based on Caroline's personality; it was easier to do that than to try to figure out who she was while in a potato with only 1.6 volts available to me to do any kind of thinking. But what still confused and bothered me was the way I felt unexplainably attached to Chell. Like she was a part of me too in some way. Not the same way as Caroline, but rather like a human family. I didn't understand it and I didn't have the voltage to ponder it. All I knew is that the Caroline in me knew Chell, and wanted nothing more than for her to be safe and happy. Neither of which were a possibility in Aperture.
What was wrong with me?
