I don't know what made me write this... read it and tell me what you think.

I do not own Harry Potter but I'm a huge harry potter fan!

Author's note: Apologies if the story is too long or if Dudley seems to have a very functional brain. I know the narration in the book makes us believe Dudley is completely stupid, but he HAD to be thinking something. And any way, this incident had changed him a lot and this is what I think was going on in his mind.

Dudley demented

I was walking down the road on my way back home. It had been an adventurous day. It was a real thrill to beat up those helpless boys. But this last one had really asked for it. How dare he call me an elephant! Well yeah, may be I do weigh more than the average kid 'round here, but that weight's exactly what makes me Big D. I mean look at me; I'm the boxing champ and dad's so proud….

'Hey, Big D!'

Huh ? I turned around.

'Oh' I growled 'Its you.'

'How long have you been "Big D" then?' he asked.

'Shut it,' I snarled. Not wanting to look at him, I turned away and started to walk again.

'Cool name,' i could here the sly grin in his voice. 'But you'll always be "Ickle Diddykins" to me.'

My hands fisted at once. 'I said, SHUT IT!' my anger didn't allow me to think of any better response.

'Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?' he asked.

A little bit of embarrassment made me improvise my earlier comment 'Shut your face'

'You don't tell her to shut her face. What about "Popkin" and "Dinky Diddydums", can I use them then?'

He was being smart as usual. I couldn't even hit him. Yeah I was scared. I have been scared of him for some time, well years, now. I couldn't help it. What if he pulls out that "Thing" and turns me into a rat or that elephant that boy'd mentioned earlier…

'So who've you been beating up tonight?' he asked a little bit serious now. 'Another ten-year-old? I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago..'

'He was asking for it,' I burst out.

'Oh yeah?' he taunted me

'He cheeked me'

'Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true.'

I was amazed for a sec, how did he get such a close guess? Then his whole sentence sank in. That's true, is it! But I still didn't have the nerve to punch his silly face and crack his glasses as I used to back when he was a normal boy. Now he was a freaking "Wizard" and I still remember the pain and the insult of getting a curly tail. I didn't want to get it, or something similar to it, back. He was nothing without that wooden stick of his…

But if he doesn't have it with him right now…

'Think you're a big man carrying that thing, don't you?' Did he scare guys at his school with that wooden stick? If he did then maybe they would scare him right back. . Every one in that school must be having it? May be everyone was scared of the kid with the longest wand stick? Then he could give anyone a very long tail. May be it was like that. .

'What thing?' he asked blankly.

'That thing you are hiding.' May be he'd not brought it out with him. May be I can hit him, at last!

He grinned. Does that mean he had it with him?

'Not as stupid as you look, are you, Dud? But I s'pose, if you were, you wouldn't be able to walk and talk at the same time.'

I wanted to hit him so bad he'd forget how to walk OR talk for the reest of his stupid life. I was about to tell him that, when my throat got stuck.

He was pulling the "Thing" out of his belt like a sword and looking me sideways.

'You're not allowed,' I almost screamed. I was instantly terrified. I wished for Piers and the rest of the gang to be here. 'I know you're not. You'd get expelled from that freak school you go to,' I tried to calm myself. How long a tail could his give me? That bearded monster's umbrella had been very long but it had given me quite a short tail….. But the guys at school had seen the scar on my backside in the shower room and some had even dared make fun of it behind my back, saying it looked like I was shot in the backside with an arrow by red Indians for annoying them during a camping trip in the forest! I had hit them later for that…

'How d'you know they haven't changed the rules, Big D?' he asked confidently. What? They'd changed the rules?

'They haven't' I said more to myself than to him,

He laughed quietly.

I was angry more than scared for once, 'You haven't got the guts to take on me without that thing, have you?'

'Where as you just need four mates behind you before you can beat up a ten-year-old. You know that boxing title you keep banging on about? How old was your opponent? Seven? Eight?'

'He was sixteen, for your information,' I snarled. 'and he was out cold for twenty minutes after I'd finished with him and twice as heavy as you.' The last part was not exactly the truth for he was not out cold at all. But I was desperate to scare him. 'Wait till I tell Dad you had that thing out-,'

'Running to Daddy now, are you? Is his ickle boxing champ frightened of nasty Harry's wand?'

Well, I was. Then I had another inspiration 'Not this brave at night, are you?' I smirked.

'This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this'.

Not the Diddykins snide again! 'I mean when you're in bed!' Why can't I scare him for once!

I stopped walking and looked at him to see if it was going to work. He stopped too staring at me. Maybe it was going to work...

'What d'you mean, I'm not brave when I'm in bed?' he asked trying to be smart again. 'What am I supposed to be frightened of, pillows or something?'

'I heard you last night,' I was excited. 'Talking in your sleep. Moaning'. He was almost crying last night.

'What d'you mean?' he asked again. But he had gone pale. Ha! Gotcha!

I laughed out and tried to imitate him in a scared, girlish voice just to insult him.

'"Don't kill Cedric! Don't kill Cedric!" Who's Cedric – your boyfriend?' I really was curious.

'I – you're lying,' he still looked pretty pale and may be a little scared. I took up the opportunity to scare him further.

'"Dad! Help me, Dad! He's going to kill me, Dad! Boo hoo!'"

'Shut up,' his volume had gone down. 'Shut up, Dudley, I'm warning you!' I had won!

'"Come and help me, Dad! Mum, come and help me! He's killed Cedric! Dad help me! He's going to -" Don't you point that thing at me!'

I thought he'd put it back! When did he take it out? As I backed into the ally wall, eying the strip of wood which he was pointing at my heart I remembered the pain in my backside as that tail had sprouted out of my trousers. It'd been agony to sit down. And when they cut it off… May be I was getting it back now. May be he was going to give me horns or wings. May be he was going to kill me.

'Don't ever talk about that again,' He snarled. 'D'you understand me?'

'Point that thing somewhere else!' I was petrified.

'I said, do you understand me?'

'Point it somewhere else!' Not the tail! Not the tail!

'DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?'

'GET THAT THING AWAY FROM - ' he was definitely going to kill me.

I abruptly felt cold, like I'd been plunged in the chilling waters of December.

May be he was magically drowning me. The chill intensified as everything went dark. I couldn't hear anything. Complete silence… It was creepy. No stars or the moon not even the street lamps. How could he vanish all the stars? I felt like I was being slowly and quietly smothered by a very chilly blanket.

I couldn't stand it and I almost screamed at him 'W-what are you d-doing? S-stop it!' My voice broke but it didn't matter. I was going blind and maybe even deaf and that's what mattered..

'I'm not doing anything! Shut up and don't move!'

'I c-can't see! I've g-gone blind! I-' I was in a complete panic. . Had he removed my eyes? Would I be blind all my life? How would I box without seeing?

I opened my eyes wide, widest I could and stared everywhere. No, nothing.

I was petrified, 'I'll t-tell Dad!' I tried threatening him as a last attempt. 'W-where are you? What are you d-d-?'

'Will you shut up?' He snapped in a whisper, 'I'm trying to lis-'

I was blind and I as not even allowed to freak out? And what was he trying to listen? My heartbeat stopping, as he slowly killed me? Was he actually killing me?

I could hear something. I could hear something at last! But as soon as I heard it I wished I hadn't…

It sounded like a faint rattle. I was not sure if it was inside my mind or in the alleyway. Was he making my life come outta my ears!

'C-cut it out! Stop doing it! I'll h-hit you, I swear I will!' I really will hit him. I was not going to let him kill me!

'Dudley, shut-'

I drew back my fist, thumb tucked in, knuckles tight and slammed it as hard as I could in the direction of his voice; slightly to my left. It made contact with his face, I didn't know which part, and it threw him down. YES I'd done it! Now he'd better stop if he knows what's good for him. I prepared to punch him again or it was better to run away. Why hadn't I thought of that before? I started running blindly towards what I thought was homewards.

'You moron, Dudley!' I hit something and almost fell down. I steadied myself shakily.

'DYDLEY, COME BACK! YOU'RE RUNNING RIGHT AT IT!'

I felt something creeping towards me. I screamed. It was right in front of me! I stopped running and stood stock-still.

'DUDLEY, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!...' He did sound scared. May be he wasn't doing all this. There was something in here besides the two of us. I heeded his words and snapped my mouth shut, which was wide open mouth until now.

But as I did I could feel sad, completely depressed or hopeless, I didn't know which. The rattle I'd' heard earlier was more loud now. It was like a death person breathing. It was a ghost….. a zombie…. It was going to kill or eat me… and I couldn't do anything…. I saw a faint light in my side view and a very faint mutterings… but it was drowned by something else.

I was hearing voices… voices in my head. From my childhood. . From school.. The numerous punishments from my primary school teacher. All the students laughing behind my back on seeing me get punished.. That huge thick snake almost killing me in that zoo. The fright I'd felt when I'd reached around and felt a curly stiff thing poking out of my trouser seat.. The ridicule from all the students from high school as I went on growing fat.. I wasn't even allowed to hit them for fear of punishment.. The many hours spent in detention when I had managed to hit them. The nurse telling me I would get nowhere in life if I carried on like this.. The hopelessness I'd felt when I'd realized that she was right.. The tiny twinge of guilt I'd felt every time I'd hit any one…. The head nurse voice coming through the door saying softly to the matron, what a spoilt kid I was and that my parents had had not mentored me very well….

It was all so overwhelming combined with the chill that was now seeping up my chest… freezing my heart. It would be better to de now for I'd suddenly realized that my life had no meaning..

I could faintly feel the cold ground beneath me. A wet cold something was pulling at my wrists away from my face. I realized my hands were covering my face. I don't remember covering my face though.. I couldn't remember anything except all the depressing things from my life. Neither my Mum's voice or my Dad's face.

I felt a rushing noise from what felt like far away.. but the cold was overwhelming and I passed out.