Carlisle's POV

I loaned Edward some of my hunting clothes and summoned my driver while he dressed. I requested the driver to draw the curtain across the cab and instructed him to not ask questions, regardless of what he may hear. As far as he knew, I was escorting a mentally ill patient to the asylum, which was conveniently located close to the forest. I knew I was taking a great risk by having him drive us. It would be pure hell for Edward to have a human that close so soon after his change. But we couldn't travel on foot, even with our speed, we'd still be too close to humans for Edward. His thirst would likely cause him to bolt from the vehicle at the first moment if he was left unattended if I drove. I hated breaking a promise to him and giving him yet another reason to despise me. As I escorted him to the car, I explained my plans for the next few days. I also warned him about the driver. Edward stared at me , his eyes wild. He looked terrified.

"No!" he moaned. "I'm so thirsty! I'll kill him!"

"No, you won't, Edward. I'll be with you. I'll prevent you from harming him."

"I'm nothing but a damn animal!" He pounded his head with his hands and started screaming. "I hate this! Make it stop, Carlisle! Just kill me, please, kill me!" His screaming broke off into loud sobbing. "Please make it stop!" He stared at me with eyes that were as red as the blood he craved so fiercely, his need clearly visible.

"I will, Edward." I soothed. "You'll feel much better after we hunt."

"I need it now." He begged, his voice ragged. "I know I'll kill him."

I ushered him into the rear of the car and held him tightly in my arms. He was much stronger than I had initially thought. He screamed and growled, his teeth snapping at me, begging me to let him feed. He must have read my thoughts again as he defiantly yelled, "I'll never get used to this! Never!". I let him carry on, wincing at his words. It was very odd that I had decided to change a young man whose attitude so mirrored my own after my transformation. It was almost like reliving my newborn days. It would get easier, but he was correct, you never get used to it.

Edward's POV

The short drive to the forest had been the worst experience of my life – vampire or human. Carlisle held me tightly and tried his best to calm me, but I had been beyond reasoning. My thirst was great and Carlisle's driver's blood smelled so good to me. I wanted nothing more than to jump into the front seat and let his blood spill into my mouth and quiet the burning ache in my throat. The pain was exactly like the torturous inferno my body had endured recently, but was now concentrated in one small area. The same inferno that had changed me into this monster that now only wanted the blood of innocent people. The smell of the blood and the closeness of the human was driving me insane. I knew I was screaming and trying to harm Carlisle, but I couldn't control myself. Finally the vehicle stopped and Carlisle thanked the driver before sending him away and telling him not worry about his return. He ushered me quickly out of the vehicle and pulled me toward the nearby stand of trees.

When we were safely into the forest, I eagerly grabbed the first animal I saw and tore into it, savouring the blood as it flowed down my throat. Carlisle patiently waited while I finished off what turned out to be a rabbit, then he showed me how to properly track the animals. He explained how to take them down and where the pressure points were for the best blood flow. Carlisle told me that deer and bear, any large animal really, were the best for us, but anything would do when in dire need. Carlisle took down a few deer, demonstrating his technique, while I looked on, trying to hold my thirst at bay, eager for my own chance. Finally, he let me go on my own to try and catch something.

I stood still and breathed the forest air in deeply. Breathing was unnecessary for me now, but it was a familiar sensation and it made the forest smells much more clear. I could sense a deer was nearby. I moved closer, tracking it silently and swiftly, just the way Carlisle had shown me. My muscles tensed as I came up behind the animal and I leaped upon the deer with speed and strength I had never thought possible. It fell and I feasted eagerly, hopefully driving away the incessant thirst for the time being. After I caught a few more deer, and was feeling full and less crazed, Carlisle and I sat in a clearing to rest.

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked. "Your eyes don't look quite as…red now, you must be full."

"What do you mean? My eyes are green." I protested.

"You're a vampire. Right now your eyes are blood red, eventually, after a few months or so, they will turn golden." Carlisle explained, leaning closer as he opened his eyes wide so I could see the color. "I believe they turn golden because of the animal blood. Other vampires who feed exclusively on humans have eyes that remain a crimson red, but the few I'm aware of that feed on animals have the same golden eyes as mine. Then, when you are thirsty, they will turn pitch black."

I shook my head slightly. "I feel full, but I can still smell it. I still want it."

"We'll stay out here for a few days and make sure you are fully satisfied before we go home."

"Home?"

"My home is your home, Edward. I would be honoured if you would consider staying." I ignored that statement and all the implications that his thoughts brought with it and pressed on to another issue. "We don't have any supplies."

Carlisle laughed. "There is so much you need to learn. We don't need any supplies, Edward. For all intents and purposes, our bodies are dead. We don't get cold, we don't get warm, we don't sleep, we don't eat and we don't age. The weather isn't an issue for vampires." He looked up as the sun broke through the clouds. "Although, this kind of weather is an issue for us."

I stared in awe as Carlisle stood and removed his hunting jacket and shirt. His skin glittered and shone in the sunlight like a million diamonds. It reminded me of the diamond heart that my mother had worn on her favourite bracelet and how it shone when she held her arm out to admire the gem as it twisted and turned on her wrist. I held out my hands and looked at them, sparkling and shining, reflecting the suns rays. The effect was stunning, but it sickened me.

"We need to stay away from all humans on sunny days." Carlisle warned. "Our skin would show our secrets instantly. I find sunny weather is a good time to disappear and hunt."

"You say you don't feed from humans." I said, as Carlisle sat beside me once again. "But you bit me." "I bit, but I didn't feed from you." Carlisle looked up to the sky, his expression pained. "If I had, you'd be dead. I had no intention of killing you. It takes control to be able to stop, to be able to know when to stop."

"I wouldn't be able to stop."

"No, not right now." Carlisle chuckled softly. "You are far too new for that. When we are new and taste the blood, we just want it all, we don't want to stop."

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as Carlisle's thought entered his head and mine. "You found it hard to stop, didn't you? Have you never done this before? Made someone like me?" I questioned.

"No." Carlisle sighed. "Your blood was the first human blood I have ever tasted. It was very tempting to just keep drinking from you and let you die. Your blood did taste very good." Carlisle's mouth twisted into a grim smile. "You were so ill and your time was near anyway. No one would have known the truth about your death. This was a monumental decision for me, Edward. I would never want to inflict this curse on someone that had another choice. You were dying…" his words trailed off. "It will get better, I promise you. You will see how I exist with my staff and the staff at the hospital."

"Why me?" I had been wondering this from the first moment that I had realized what I had truly become. "Why me over all those other people at the hospital"?

"Your mother…" he began to explain.

"No, you've told me that. Why didn't you bite her? Or my father? Why did you curse me to this fate?"

I could hear his thoughts jumbling together and I couldn't make out any one clear thought. Finally, he looked over to me and sighed deeply. "I was very lonely, Edward. Obviously, no one knows what I am. No one can ever know. I have my staff at home and the staff at the hospital but I can't socialize with them. I can't talk to them about any issues I might have with my…life. A vampire's life is a very sad and lonely existence. When your mother asked me to save you…Edward, I didn't want to do it. Of course, I hate to see anyone die, but I was going to let you die naturally, the way God intended it." He paused, looking up to the sky again. "But your mother's voice would not leave my head, her words echoed incessantly, demanding that I save you." He looked at me once more and smiled sadly. "How could I deny her that one dying wish?"

"You…you did this…to me, because you were…lonely?" I struggled to get the words out.

"Not entirely."

"You turned me into this bloodthirsty monster just so that you could have a companion?" I knew my voice was rising, but I couldn't contain my anger.

"Edward, it's not like that." Carlisle said, calmly.

I stood and moved away from him, swiftly travelling from our spot in the clearing to a lush area, deep in the woods. I was, naturally, still unaware of just how fast I was in this strange new form and I was miles away from Carlisle in just a few moments. I walked for a bit, marvelling at the speed I moved through the forest, even though I was just wandering. I had to be away from him and gather my thoughts. I finally stopped and sat at the base of a tree, drawing my knees up to my chest and resting my chin on them. I willed the tears to come, the sobs were certainly wrenching forth from my throat easily enough. For some reason, the discovery that I couldn't cry anymore angered me more than almost anything else I'd had to digest during this bizarre day. I twisted to punch the tree trunk that supported me and was entirely unsurprised to see my hand disappear into it with ease.

"Why didn't you just let me die?" I screamed in anguish.