Edward's POV

Carlisle quickly ushered me out to his vehicle. The sun was shining brightly and he needed to get me secured inside the vehicle before any humans crossed our path. I could hear the thoughts of several people, as well as smell them, but I didn't see anyone. I could feel the burning sensation settling once again in my throat. It was hard to believe I could possibly be this thirsty again after feeding so recently.

"Why so soon?" I gasped, as the burning increased its intensity.

"It's natural for a newborn to feed often." Carlisle assured me. "As time goes on, you will be able to go without feeding for much longer periods."

"But you went for months without feeding, right after you were changed." I protested.

"I had to, Edward. I had made my decision to not harm humans. I had no other choice."

"So it's not recommended to not feed, in other words?"

"Absolutely not! You will lose strength and soon become crazed with blood lust. Then you will want to feed on the first thing that crosses your path, as I did. Fortunately, I discovered that our kind could survive on the blood of animals, I honestly can't understand why others still feed on humans." Carlisle shook his head slowly, in disgust or disappointment, I couldn't tell for sure. "The only way to learn control and to live among humans is to keep yourself fully satisfied by hunting as often as you need to."

"You can't be expected to take me to hunt whenever I need though." I protested. "You have a job, patients to care for…" My words died off as the burning thirst took over my senses. I screamed in frustration and hunger.

"Steady Edward. My job is care for you now, son." Carlisle touched my arm gently. "My sole mission now is to ensure you become a honourable young man."

I growled in pain as I clawed at the door and the seat of the car, eager to find a way to get closer to the smell of the humans walking outside as we passed by in the car. The scent made the fire in my throat flare. I prayed we were close to the forest. I couldn't restrain myself much longer.

As if he was reading my mind, Carlisle murmured out loud. "Almost there Edward, you can do it. Remember what you want to become. You can do this."

I continued my low growling, my body twisting in the seat, the agonizing pain reaching a crescendo. I couldn't bear it any longer and prepared to bolt out of the seat. Without making a sound, Carlisle appeared at my open door, and pulled me out of my seat. "We're here. I'm proud of you." He gave my shoulder a brief squeeze and then pushed me forward. "Go, I'll be waiting here for you."

I stared at Carlisle for a moment before the hunger raged anew. I ran off and felled a deer within seconds. I drank eagerly and felt the burning slowly decrease in intensity. Quickly, I drank from three others before I took a moment to rest. I sat at the base of a tree and sighed as I recalled Carlisle's words. "Remember what you want to become." Did I? Did I truly care about being a "good" vampire? Did I even want to continue being a vampire? I had seen in Carlisle's thoughts how he had tried to kill himself when he had discovered what he had become. But there must be ways to kill a vampire. I had heard the myths - a stake through the heart, garlic, being out in the daylight - I knew that last myth, at least, was false. My mere presence in the forest confirmed that. We could be out in the daylight, we just couldn't let anyone see us. As I pondered the possible ways to remove a vampire from this earth, I wondered did I still want to…die? My mother had seemed to know what Carlisle was, why else would she have been so insistent that Carlisle be the one to save me? There must have been other doctors that tended to us during our illnesses. If she knew what Carlisle was, she also knew what I would become. There must have been something that Mother could see or read about Carlisle, there must have been a reason she wanted this life for me. I sighed again and pushed myself away from the tree.

"How are you feeling?" I heard Carlisle's question as I started by journey back to the clearing. I sped through the trees and stepped out to meet him in mere moments. "I'm well, satisfied, the burning has eased greatly."

"You look…is something bothering you son?" Carlisle looked shocked at my sudden appearance.

I stared at him, reading the thoughts running through his head, wondering if I should tell him mine.

"You've called me son several times now." I said, my voice even and firm.

"I know we've discussed this, however, I do consider you my son. I sincerely hope it doesn't upset you too much."

"I…I'm trying to come to terms with it. My father never…he didn't …" I tried to get the words out, but I couldn't. It just wasn't right to speak ill of the dead when they had so recently passed. "I loved my father." I mumbled. "I could never tell him that though."

"I am sure your father loved you as well." Carlisle assured me.

"Can we discuss other things?" My voice sounded pained. " Why do you consider me to be your son? Because you made me what I am?"

Carlisle regarded me carefully. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against a tree. "There are many reasons, Edward. I have already told you that I had been contemplating… finding a companion for some time. I had always hoped that if it ever happened, that that companion would come to be like family to me. My father was the only family I had and I miss him greatly, the concept of family is very important to me."

"You feel responsible for me." It was a statement more than a question.

"Absolutely." Carlisle assured me. "I was the one to change you. I brought this life to you. I feel the need to ensure you become a decent, sensible, caring young man."

"But why?" I cried out in anguish. "Tell me why you care, when my own father…" The words broke off in my throat, I couldn't utter them.

"Your father loved you." Carlisle put his hands on my shoulders. "As did your mother. You were their only son. They loved you dearly."

"I know my mother did." I said in a barely audible whisper.

I could hear Carlisle's thoughts - he didn't think it was possible for my father to have loved me less than my mother had.

"Why don't we walk, and hunt of course, and you can tell me about your mother and father? Your human memories will start to fade soon. By telling me, I can remind you whenever you need about your human family." He squeezed my shoulders gently, then slowly turned me so we were both facing the forest. "Let's take a walk, son."

"I want to hear more about your life." I complained as we wandered leisurely through the forest. I was trying to delay discussing my family as long as I possibly could.

"Edward, my memories are not going anywhere. A vampire can remember every event in his life from the time of transformation. Human memories, however, fade rather quickly. Next week, at this time, you probably will find it difficult to recall what your parents looked like." Carlisle's voice was quietly sympathetic.

""Do you remember your father?"

"I do, but only because I went to see him often, once I could control my thirst."

"You showed yourself to your father?" I asked, my eyes wide with wonder.

"No, never." Carlisle shook his head in remorse. "My father would never have understood. He would have considered me to be a demon come to drink his blood. He would have had me killed."

"Then how…?"

"I hid outside at night, I watched through the windows. I just wanted to make sure he was well without me there to assist him."

"He never knew what had happened to you?"

Carlisle was quiet for several moments. "No. As far as my father knew, I had died in the vampire attack with my two partners. He lived the rest of his life mourning his son."

It was my turn to be quiet. "At least I can spare my parents that." I finally said softly.

"Small mercies." Carlisle agreed.

We walked on, not knowing or caring how far we travelled. It wouldn't take us long to return to Carlisle's vehicle no matter how far we went. On the way, we each felled a deer and drank heartily.

Carlisle brushed the back of his hand across his mouth and settled against the solid trunk of a tree with a sigh. "Ah, I didn't realize how thirsty I was!" he exclaimed. "Are you feeling better?"

"Much." I agreed. "The burning is almost gone." I sat across from Carlisle and folded my hands into my lap.

"Now, please Edward, I would like to hear about your family."

I drew in a deep breath and loudly exhaled. "There isn't really a lot to tell. I'm only seventeen. My father was a rather successful lawyer. Mother stayed home with me. I'm not sure why I was an only child, but I enjoyed not having to share with anyone. I grew up not ever wanting for anything. Father provided for my mother and myself very well. I went to private schools. I had music lessons."

"Music lessons?" Carlisle interrupted me. "What do you play?"

"Piano mostly. I did learn some wind instruments, but the piano was my passion." I admitted.

"Wonderful." Carlisle smiled. "You will have to play for me sometime. I love to listen to a skilled pianist. "

"My father paid for the best teachers and I loved to play. My mother would sit and do embroidery while I played." I smiled wistfully as I recalled her soft, gentle voice singing along as my fingers played over the piano keys.

"And your father, he enjoyed your playing?"

"He never really heard me play." My voice turned cold. "He was always away on business, or he had business to attend to at home. He encouraged me, but he never listened to me."

Carlisle nodded, his mouth a firm line. I knew he had things he wanted to say but he didn't interrupt me again.

"Father was very…distant…" I tried to remember a time when my father had hugged me or shown me love. My human memory was either already fading or there was nothing to remember. "He was a good father, don't get me wrong. But he didn't show me love like mother did. I couldn't hug him or tell him I loved him. And, of course, he never hugged me. It wasn't a 'manly'thing to do."

"Your mother showed you love though." Carlisle 's thoughts were much darker than his words. He could not understand a man not showing love to his son.

"Yes, Mother loved me very much. She encouraged me in every way and every thing. I never had to try for her affections." I smiled. " There was only one thing Mother didn't encourage me to do."

"What was that?"

"I became rather fixated with the idea of becoming a soldier. Maybe it was my way of bonding with Father, my way of showing him I could be a man. But Mother was firmly against it. She was terrified of losing me to the war."

"She was terrified of losing you to anything." Carlisle stated, quietly.

I frowned, remembering Mother's pleas for Carlisle to save me, at any cost. "She got her wish. I became ill before I could enlist. You know what happened from there." I stared at the ground, unwilling to meet Carlisle's eyes.

"Thank you for sharing with me." Carlisle finally broke the silence. "I know it must have been hard for you."

"Would it be possible to visit my home…my old home?" I amended quickly. "I think I would like to see it one last time."

"I think we can arrange that." Carlisle smiled wamly. "Let's head back and I'll try to get some information on your house."

We travelled swiftly back to the car. Carlisle once again asked if I was satisfied before we left for the city. I assured him I was. I settled into the seat and tried not to breath in as we passed through the city streets. It made passing by the humans a little more bearable. Once we were back to the house I breathed a sigh of relief. I had made the trip once again without harming anyone. Carlisle nodded approvingly, his mouth turned up in a genuine smile.

"Carlisle?" I hesitated before entering my room. He turned and looked at me expectantly.

"My father never told me that he was proud of me."

Carlisle's eyes narrowed, his thoughts were warring with his features. He wanted his face to remain calm, even though he was furious.

"Thank you for saying that to me. I truly appreciate it."