A/N: Don't hate me for this chapter . I tried my best!
Thank you for all your support Mikisna XD And I think this chapter will satisfy your need to see Leo XD I made this especially for that!
And you, my dearest readers, to whom I give my deepest love to, I thank you! And, if you will find this chapter worthy of your attention, not to mention the story itself, then please leave a small comment somewhere around here XD
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Song : All I need and Final Destination – Within Temptation
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Chapter 3 – Can you see my heart?
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The popular believe is that death is the worst kind of stage a human can experience, that it takes everything from you and that it makes you something that could never interact with both the ones that died and the ones that continue to live on. People think that once you die and possibly go to heaven, or hell by case, then you stop to exist, swallowed by God and the angels.
But that kind of believe is as false as it can be. He, for one, could contradict everyone, telling them what he had seen when he was there, and how he felt. He would show them with solid arguments that he was still Leo, still existing, still there, even if he didn't have a body to move around. But, as frustrating as it may be, he couldn't do that to those that didn't believe in the angel form that he had now. He couldn't talk to them directly, so he always had to wait until he could touch their dreams and see how they were, how broken and how he could help them.
"Meh... Even in death I can't rest, now can I?" he snickered, shaking his head as he thought about those things.
His wings hit the air, making no sound in the buzzing night, his body moving swiftly from one zone to the other, onyx eyes fixed on the sky, searching for something that he couldn't identify, something that called to his soul to follow, but never name it. He flied, turning his body to the right, making it move past a big building. He could just pass through it, but he didn't like the feeling of concrete hitting his form. Huffing, continuing his journey through the sky, piloting himself as best as he could, Leo thought back at the day he had died, the faces his loved ones made and the feelings in his soul.
He remembered every last detail about his fights, the way his blade sang when it cut through flesh, tasting new blood with every slash. He remembered the tired feeling in his arm muscles and in his legs as he jumped from one point to the other, always watching his back and avoiding the laser bullets the alien army had used against him. He remembered the salty-sweet smell of the spilled blood, the copper taste in his mouth, the way his throat ached, begging for water. Leo remembered all, till the very last detail. And he still felt the weight of his katanas, the sickening feeling of blood gushing out of freshly made wounds, of bones cracking and breaking as he punched and kicked in order to keep himself alive. If he was completely honest with himself, he didn't quite like to fight, to take lives, but he had no choice. He couldn't stop the fight with rational talk and he couldn't step away from it. His quick tempered brother would jump in without thinking twice and someone had to have his back.
But, in the last fight, he had a choice of action that he completely disregarded, too angry to care for other lives when the one he loved was tortured in front of his eyes. He could have stopped everything when he had seen Raph hanging in those handcuffs, groaning in pain as the alien that had lead the attack was slashing away parts of his skin, by simply not looking and cutting the small remote in one of it's tentacles. But, to his half hearted shame, he didn't do that, but just lashed at it, eyes big, full of a fury that he had never before experienced, teeth grinding, body tense and ready to kill. He didn't regret anything, because, when he got his jade colored brother down, he sow in his eyes how thankful he was. Maybe Raph will never thank him for saving his life and for prolonging the battle, not to mention dyeing at the end of it, but he will never regret anything that had happened then.
As wrong as this may sound to his own ears, he didn't regret anything. Forcing his wings to push the air harder, lifting his black clad body to the sky, feeling the swift movement of the wind, Leo closed his eyes, remembering the only thing that kept him from leaving everything this world had to offer to become one of the angels up there: Raph's smiling face, the way his eyes glittered when he was passionate about something, the way he moved when he fought, the sound of his voice and the heat his body had to offer. Grinning, the now half angel Leo crossed the sky with one powerful thrust of his feathered wings. He reopened his eyes, looking at the moon, only to see his own reflection: pale sea green skin, dark bluish eyes, long black robe with a purple obi-like thing around his waist. Analyzing the things he saw, he couldn't come up with a comment, liking and not liking what he sow.
"I thought angels wore white robes, and had perfectly white wings!" he huffed, slightly crossing his arms at his chest, eyes turning into slits and a dark grin on his lips, transforming the old Leo into something new and dangerous.
And dangerous he was, wings white, tinted with red and black where they began, eyes void of any specific emotion except that old determination and will power. The smoldering unnatural passion in his soul made him something unrecognizable, ready to do anything in order to protect the ones that he cared for and getting what he need in exchange. This was only half of the old Leonardo, the turtle his brothers were grieving over. This new Leo, the archangel he had become, was nothing like the other one, being more persistent, more vicious, attacking without caring who he killed, his only objective being his family's safety.
But what was surprising even for him were the emotions that coursed through him, that vibrated with their own frightening life, that made him unable to resist to their calling: he didn't feel anything when he thought about Mickey or Don, or even for his master. He couldn't think about them and feel any kind of emotions. He could just see them die in front of him and he wouldn't care. The feelings that made his body react with the power it still possessed was lust, a form of possessive love and the need to be next to and protect the one that made him stay longer in this world, were killing and destruction ruled.
Sighting, shaking his head as the mirror image of himself in the moon disappeared, allowing him to bathe in the cold glare of the full moon, he himself smiling just as cold, Leo just flopped his wings, not looking at anything in particular. He could have been mistaken for a cold sadist, a cold blooded maniac that was send to kill someone and that he enjoyed doing it, and who would have seen him and thought these things wouldn't be half wrong. But his plans weren't to kill someone. No! He was setting for something more, something that belonged to him, something that he won't share with anyone, not even his family. He wanted Raphael and that was all. Nothing will take the second eldest from his hands ever again.
"Even if I once died thinking that he was better off without my love, I don't think I can leave him alone. I don't like seeing him cry for anyone else but me!" his selfish and scary thoughts making his skin crawl but bringing him a pleasure that he never thought he could possess in this immaterial state he was in.
Throwing his body back to the ground, keeping his wings securely shut around him, his body disappearing in the mass of white with black and red parts, he closed his eyes, his soul resonating around in the world as he searched feverishly for the one he needed to make his. And when he found him, his face, empty of any visible reaction, broke into a grin, his teeth showing, white and with prolonged canines, through the opened lips. He was going to make Raph realize that his place was next to him, and that nothing that this world had to offer could make the void in his heart go away. No one could do that, but him, his elder brother.
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As he ran, his mind blank, his soul chasing after him, his thoughts long forgotten, Raph didn't registered where he was going until he stopped, his breath caught in his throat. His eyes stung from the salty sweat that fell down his brow, but, even with the shaking images, he still stood there, incapable of saying anything more, recognizing the place. He had stopped in a small wooden zone outside of New York, where they had buried Leo's body so many days ago. He barely could see the metal plate that stood where his head was or the black soil that was on top, but he knew where he was all too well.
"Can ye believe that it's been... two weeks since ye have died, Fearless?" his horsed voice from crying and screaming for such a long time, barely reached his ears as he knelt down next to the head stone.
Shaking with the same restrain in his emotions, fighting with himself and what he wanted to express, the humanoid turtle just stood there, hands laying limply in his lap, head hanging low and tears falling down his nose and hitting the earth. He didn't want to cry, he wanted to slash and kill everyone that had hurt his brother, but, to his great disadvantage, he didn't remember much from that time. The only thing that was for sure in his tormented head and heart was that Leo had died in his arms after he had protected him. He didn't remember the torture his body had previously sustained, nor the reason for his brother's outburst in battle, he didn't remember any of it, and he didn't even know that a part like that was missing.
But his inner soul knew, and, in his brutal attack against the walls that kept that traumatic experience back, he yelled the things Raph didn't want to hear. He fought against that evil presence, that little voice that had gotten stronger over the years and didn't seem like he was winning at all, not that he even tried very hard. He was sick and tired of it all, and, as he continued to cry, the never ending ocean of tears falling from his eyes with rhythmical precision, he thought back to the days of his youth, the days he spent arguing with Leo and beating Mickey, days sunny and full of happiness, days that seemed so far away now. He thought back on them, eyes closed and body rocking back and forth, no sound coming from his parted lips, only the air that he breathed. He was feeling ill, all of him, but he didn't dare to get up and go back to that hell hole he called a home. He didn't want to see Michelangelo's accusing glares, or hear Don's statements for improving a family that wanted to dissipate. But what was worst was that his father didn't want to come out of his room, keeping himself locked up and not talking to any of his sons. And Raph really wanted to talk to him, to get some advise, to make his sorrow go away for only a bit, even if that bit meant to get a whooping out of his ass. He didn't care...
He stood there till he felt his body going numb, till his arms and legs felt like they were going to fall from his body. And, as pain came from the unused limbs, he stood up, facing that pain, and bowed to the grave, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. A few drops even landed on the dark soil, and, as he watched them fall, he murmured some words, a small sad smile appearing on his breaking face.
Turning around on his heels, he all but ran away from that spot to the only person that still heard him out: April. He had to talk to her, or better yet, to hear her talk to him and not accuse him of something that he didn't do, of something that he was beating himself up pretty badly as it was.
If he had turned that moment around to take one more look, he would have seen an angry figure, dark but bright at the same time, with it's mouth shut in a firm line and eyes smothering with a barely restrained hate.
He would have seen Leo!
"You are wrong, Raph! This is not what I want! This was never what I wanted, you idiot!" the figure all but screamed from the grave.
But all was in vain, Raph never heard it. Only birds flew away, scared of the malign presence that was among them. Only they knew what could happen if that spirit was angered. And they didn't want to feel his wrath.
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A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! I don't think it beats my other two chapters, but I hope I made it worth your wail XD
Thank you for reading this!
