Long winter nights

Chapter 4: Golden Emerald

Ibrahim was a knight of old

when his feet touched this white land,

his horn it rang both wide and bold

through ice and iron band.

The woods were cold and dark with blight

when he was chased afar,

through snow that glistened in the night

and doors that stood ajar...

„Bailak's ballade" 1-2

The chronicles of Burdan Hill

The snow burned wet on her skin and left tiny rivulets of cold water running down her neck.

She felt so tired…but strangely not cold.

Her face felt wet but then also not. I all had a strange quality to it.

Someone was calling her name. The girl in the snow rolled herself into a ball. She didn't want that voice to find her …she just wanted to sleep. Yes, sleeping would be nice.

Cold white hands gripped her shoulders and turned her around…and when Shizuru lazily opened her eyes she stared straight into the light brown eyes of her older brother.

„You have to get up, sleepy-head. Sleeping in the snow…really Shizu, you should know better. „

The brunette stared at her hands which where entwined with those of her brother. They looked so tiny…Wasn't she older than him by now? Also that wasn't her coat…and her weapon was slung of Alantes back like it belonged there. Which it had. Once, a long time ago.

There was something she had forgotten. Had she only dreamt to be an adult and far away from home? Something was nagging at her mind but she couldn't quite lay a finger on it.

„You should get up, Shizu. It's already getting dark," he pointed a finger into the direction of the dark borders of the fir tree forest so unlike the woods she remembered. „…and she's waiting for you !"

With one quick and strong tuck had he pulled her on her feet . Her eyes followed the digit pointing in the dark. Something was not right.

Her red gaze fell on a dark figure lurking in the shadows of the trees. She felt being watched.

Something definitely wasn't right…but what?

„Come on Shizu. We'll have to be home by nightfall and it's already late." A strong hand, it felt unusually cold, grasped her and began to pull her forward.

In the distance Shizuru saw the watcher in the shadows shake her head.

She looked again at the broad back of her brother. Alantes had never done something that would harm her and for a second Shizuru recoiled in fear when she saw the red flowers bloom on the back of his shirt.

Suddenly she was pulled and pushed forward. Alantes gurgling voice followed her when she began to stumble and run back towards the trees.

Go! Get her little sister. A better thing as death you'll find everywhere…"

Now she remembered. Oh how she missed him and his strong arms. The tears flowed freely down her face and she reached out for the rough bark of a fir like a blind man in the dark.

Glowing yellow eyes looked at her out from the gloom and a black flash jumped towards her….

Shizuru awoke with a scream. It rang shrill in her ears and her violent panting filled the silent void around her.

Where was she?

She smelled old wood, the burnt ashes of a fire and the moldy smell of very old cotton.

A room with eight walls, worm- eaten wood-panels, a half rotten tapestry in once bright colors on the wall opposite her, an old fireplace and a small table with gothic chairs and moldy curtains which swayed gently in a draft that came through one broken window.

Over all lay a thick layer of dust.

Dust of the centuries, hmm…? -…That's not important now. Important is to find out where I am now.

A silent whisper to the side of her head. Cotton scraped on her skin.

She was lying in a four poster bed with a wooden ceiling. The curtains had either been so ratty, they had fallen off on their own or someone had ripped them off the bed right at the edge.

The scraps fluttered in the wind, making eerie sounds in the total silence of the room.

Another whisper on her ear. As she rolled around she saw a faded coat of arms on the scratched wooden ceiling. The wood seemed to have absorbed the color and Shizuru had to squint her eyes to see it.

A checkered white and blue background, an animal on a dark jagged line running through and something that looked like a motto-scroll.

Where have I seen this before…?

Again the brunette asked herself where exactly she had ended up.

Red honed in on beady button eyes and big yellow teeth.

A rat the size of a small cat sat on the side of her bed and petted Shizuru's hair with his hand-like paws. Her eyes widened when the animal squeaked and touched her nose with a single claw-bearing digit.

Shizuru just slightly drew her head back, still too shocked to move suddenly and in that moment the small beast scurried away from her and vanished through the open door.

The huntress sat up quickly, her golden-brown hair flying around her face and immediately she felt sick. Her head swam and her vision blurred for a moment. She had to close her eyes.

When she opened them again, a little girl with blonde unruly hair stood right before her. It seemed like she had appeared out of thin air and Shizuru scooted away from her a bit.

The black and white spotted rat sat on her shoulder like a strange living stole and squeaked in greeting.

The girl couldn't be much older that 10 or 11 years. A black band of velvet kept the blonde strands away from her face and in place. She wore a sleeveless overcoat made of some soft looking brown fur. A surcoat..? The huntress had seen such garments before but never this simple and at the same time elegant and fitting. What raised her eyebrows even higher was that she could see the girl was wearing breeches and boots. Well it's no wonder with this climate around here. Shizuru knew she must have looked even stranger in her garb.

The sleeves of a green shirt, so dark it appeared to be black, stuck out from underneath the coat and together with a sash of dark blue it completed the picture.

Shizuru noticed that she was staring and turned her gaze towards the face of her impromptu guest.

Steely ice-blue eyes regarded her with equal interest. Her eyes alone let girl appear to be much older and for a moment the brunette felt like an insect under inspection.

The rat squeaked again. It sounded like a question and intelligent button eyes looked her up and down. The girl smiled, it let her face shine from within, and shook her head. Eyes never leaving the woman on the bed she lectured her pet: „Squeakes, I told you not to be so rude…and no I don't think she's fit enough for dinner yet. "

The rat looked sad for a moment, shook its head and then crawled down the arm and out of the door.

„I hope he's been not rude or anything." the girl said with a small bow. „The little guy is not used to us having guests."

Shizuru wondered. Here she was in an unknown house in the back of the woods of Kurga and yet this little girl showed manners as she had been taught by a private teacher. Her voice was a little quiet and raspy but soothing and much like her eyes did she show wisdom beyond her years.

Right now she was starting to build a fire in the fireplace and unconsciously Shizuru pulled the blankets tighter around herself. Her eyes followed her everywhere, bewilderment still written on her face in bold letters.

„I'm sorry for the poor accommodations. " Flint hit steel with these words and the first sparks were born to live. „This house is not used to having guests and we barely use the spare rooms. "

Twigs cracked when she placed them next to the rapidly growing flames. From a hidden pocket in her coat she produced dry leaves and sprinkled them over the flames. Immediately the fire got brighter and hotter.

"I'm Alyssa." She turned around again sitting on her haunches and for the first time in the short moments Shizuru had known her she truly looked like a 10 year old.

"If you feel up to it just walk down the stairs and come into the great hall. Dinner is ready in a few minutes. Otherwise I'll look after you in half an hour."

Like a small summer whirlwind chasing leaves around she was out of the door.

With the warm glow of the fire the room didn't look so rusty anymore. The old chairs held still some of their original coloring, the old velvet curtains were of a rich brown only dimmed by the dust flying around them.

Water glistened in a wash basin on the table and the polished brass handle of her bardiche glinted in the corner.

Candles as thick as Shizuru's arm, had been placed in the corner of each second step down, giving the stairs a mysterious but also friendly and inviting feeling. Old pictures in oil so old they were blind littered the walls looking like dark windows to a world unseen.

Dark wood glowed in the low moon-and candlelight and Shizuru felt ….welcomed, when she trotted down the stairs.

The way into the great hall was as astounding as the strange room she had woken up into. Weapons, some glinting in the low light of candles, some so rusted that they threatened to fall from their holders, littered the walls.

Obviously she was in an old fashioned castle, judging from the numerous hallways she encountered on her way. Some looked frequently used, the floor had been swept and not a speck of dust was on the weapons, armors and banisters. Others looked so long forgotten and disused that even the rats and spiders had abandoned them and a cold wind howled down those particular ways.

Warm glow and the smell of food greeted the wary wanderer from behind a great double door.

She could hear Alyssa talk accompanied by the clatter of silver ware and the clanking of metal.

Who is she talking to?

Whoever that was, who the girl was questioning, he or she seemed quite agitated and barely answered. The quiet tones were almost not understandable.

She pushed the door and with a small creak both wings turned on their hinges inward.

Alyssa, the little blonde girl noe wearin a sort of apron, stood at the side of the room greeting her with a smile. She was carrying a pot and placed it on the middle of the impressive old oaken table. The speckled wood looked massive and havey and was also quite chipped at the edges. Must be a few decades old...thought the young woman when she gazed at the inviting dinner layed out on the table. Two hares, roasted and stuffed with chestnuts and decorated with various winter herbs and vegetables such as black carrots and winter leeks.

Shizuru's stomach rumbled loudly at the sight which just made Alyssa's grin grow wider. "Come on, sit!" She literally was shoved into a high backrest chair with elaborate gothic window design. "You must be famished after sleeping for so long. Be our guest."

Just then the hunter noticed the other person in the room. A rather pale looking woman, very light hair and red eyes sat motionless on the left side in a chair with dragon ornaments cut into into the headrest.

Shizuru stared for a moment. The woman was a bit to similar to her for her liking.

Alyssa's companion had grabbed a piece of meat and began to chop it up methodically. A crow was sitting on her shoulder, eying the meat with hungry eyes. A curt nod and a croak was the greeting for the guest.

Alyssa laid the silverware out on the table. The polished metal gleaming on the dark wood.

"Sister, dinner is ready. I hope you're finished with cleaning,"

The brunette turned around to see to whom the blonde was talking to...and stared right into two big yellow eyes. Warm breath washed over her face while Shizuru simply had turned to stone for a moment when a giant tongue began to lick her face.

The wolf had a shoulder height of at least five to six feet. His grey salt and pepper fur ruffled into white at the edges of his face. White teeth as long as small daggers glowed in his mouth. Was the beast grinning at her?

In fact it had sat itself on his haunches forcefully shoved his massive head under her arm and looked mighty happy when Shizuru began to scratch him hesitantly behind the ears.

The wolf's momentary bliss was ended by a sharp growled command. For a moment the brunette searched for the other wolf in the room when her eyes fell on the chair in front of the fire-place.

Pieces of a big fur-coat, probably bear-skin, spilled over the arm and backrest and the glinting pieces o f a kinghts armor lay at it's feet waiting to be polished.

White hands with strong fingers lay curled upon the brown fur. A white and slender neck disappeared behind a curtain of blue and black hair which went till past the shoulders.

A slender built with strong shoulders and a face as pale as the snow outside the window. A stark contrast to the rich black of her hair and the royal blue of her tunic.

Truly an ice-princess...

It reminded Shizuru about the tales at home. Of powerful winter spirits taking on human form just for their own amusement.

As if she had read Shizuru's thoughts asmall half-smile-half-frown formed on the woman's face and Shizuru looked directly into her eyes...

...and recoiled for a moment. She had seen those green opals with the single golden speck before, in her fever-dreams...and even before that. She still could remember a cold but soft touch to her face, the eyes and an advice or a warning. The exact wording wouldn't come back to her but instinctively she knew that it had saved her live. Still she feared the strange woman in front of her which was highlighted by the fire in an sinister halo.

Just two candles lightened the small but highly decorated room with the imposing wooden desk. The fact that the polished wood had the thickness of a man's ankle hadn't stopped the silent intruder in nailing the owner of said desk onto it's surface with a thrust had been so powerful that the tip of the blade showed through the wood on the other side by at least an inch.

Michailov Bilanitsch da Artai's eyes held the gaze of a man utterly betrayed. His guards had found the Duke several hours to late when they had realized that he hadn't left his personal study. His lifeblood already had covered the brown wood and stained the expensive carpet from Arabia in an unforgiving rusty red.

There had been no evidence of the murderer, only the red splotches everywhere and the magnificiently crafted sword.

Sergey Wong felt quite uneasy by the unfolding of these mysterious events. The feeling was growing even more when he had the chance to be alone with his charge, the eldest son of the Duke Nagi, right after the violent death of his father.

Nagi, who looked at least ten years younger due to a slight dwarfism, always had worn a ironic smirk and Wong had been shocked to see it on the young mans face when the carcass passed him by.

After a few moments alone with him Sergey had been certain that the young lord had his hands in the whole arangement. The question was how had the little bastard done it?

Sergey's suspicion rose even more when a burnt slip of paper was discovered right next to the fireplace. The evidence disappeared right after that but Wong knew that Nagi's name had been on it with a thick jagged line obscuring the letters. Michailov's will was nowhere to be found and in line with tradition the next Duke became the eldest son.

It all had happened in a whirlwind of activity and Sergey, despite his better judgement, had decided to grit his teeth and be silent.

He had sworn fealty to his lord when they had been kids and he would stay true to his oath. Even if it meant sacraficing his heart and honor. Such was the way of a steward.

Alyssa and her pale haired companion, whose name was Miyu, had cleared the tables. A strange silence lay over the hall. Only the cracking of the burning branches was heard.

The tattered flags still hanging between the high gothic windows fluttered slightly in an unseen breeze.

They seemed to be very old. Threads were coming off at the edges, color had faded to almost nothingness and the fabric had holes and tears all over. Despite all that they looked well taken care off, like the people living in these halls didn't want to forget about the past.

Shizuru began to feel uneasy. The other ocupant of the room, Alyssa's sister had, right when the plates had been cleared, left her seat and wordlessly resumed her place at the fire. The silence was grating on her nerves. For a person being outside for long periods of time absolut silence was something that didn't exist. Something unatural and terrifying. It made Shizuru's ears hurt and carefully did she step towards the chair.

Absentmindly she noticed the excellent carvings of a hunting scene cut into the edges of the wood. A magnificient stag running through the trees followed by a pack of dogs and a bowmen in hot pursuit.

Her hand reached out to touch that lustrous black hair in front of her.

What am I doing?

The next moment the huntress nearly screamed. Within a second the woman had whirled around and had gripped her hand. It felt like her hand was painfully stuck between two grinding boulders of ice. The sheer force of the grip threathened to crush her fingers.

Suddenly her hand was free again. An almost vulnerable look was on the other face, like she didn't meant to hurt her guest. A polite cough on the door indicated that Alyssa had returned and she shot her sister a warning glance.

With a grimace Shuizur massaged the blood back into her digits. The wolf came fover from his cushion nest to his mistress's seat and licked her unjured hand. Shizuru's hard lept at the calm and husky voice behind her. "He's trying to memorize you, in case you get lost...again." The woman had managed to leave the creaky chair without a sound and when Shizuru turned aroud their face where just inches apart. Now she could take a more closer look at those fascinating eyes.

Deep green like a forest in spring with a golden yellow ring around the iris. They resembled perhaps emeralds with a tiny golden heart.

Alyssa had watched it all from far away and decided to act. The spell was broken when a wooden spoon hit the dark head in front Shizuru on the side.

"Sister! I know you don't meet much people out there in these woods but that's no excuse to behave like a savage!"

The short girl whacked her sibling whith a towel for good measure. "You could at least apologize before staring people to death." Green eyes flashed with guilty amusement and a hand just rubbed the sore spot on her head.

"Besides," Alyssa threw her arms akimbo "first I thinks it's our guest's turn to ask some questions and tell us her name."

A glance towards the huntress. Shizuru run dry there for a moment. The change of subject had been so sudden that her thoughts had difficulty following.

"Where am I ?" The little girl grinned broadly and rolled her eyes in a comical way. "That's the easiest question to a very difficult answer." She glared at her sister for a moment and pointed to one of the many windows. "Technically speaking you're nowhere. Let's start over again, shall we?"

She gave the dark one a small shove and perched herself on the armrest of the chair. "Again...I'm Alyssa and you're on Burdan Hill Castle, Since you're from outside the country you'll probably never get the problem with this sentence, but what's most important is that you're with friends. Who are you? "

The small off-comment had stung terribly at Shizuru's pride but the girl had been right. She didn't get the point at her being here being a problem. After all they did rescue her form an untimely death in the snow.

A flicker of doubt run through her thoughts, after all supposedly they were very near to the border, but then she thought about Alyssa's easy smile in the first moments and heard herself say: " I'm Shizuru Viola." Alyssa's blue eyes widened in surprise and her sister looked up from her polishing with interest. " A Viola? I knew the family once lived around the ilands but I would never had guessed to see some of that family for myself." Shizuru felt the familiar sting in her eyes again and sketched a shaky smile on her features. " I crossed the border almost six years ago, I haven't been home since..."

The little girl pulled her into a chair "I have so much to ask. It's rare for people to come here..."

Then she bomarded the poor unsuspecting huntress with questions.

"How old are you?" "Twenty seven."

"Is the bardiche your only weapon?" "No, actually I have a very long dagger in my right sleeve."

"Do you like to read?" "Very much so, but I'm afraid I'm not fluent enough in your language."

Alyssa smiled. "You speak it just fine. Just watch I'll have you reading the classics in no time."

Shizuru began visibly to relax. Her stiff posture slumped a bit, she laughed more freely and her hands were animatedly accenting some points in her speech.

"What are you doing around here? Most people try to stay away from these parts in winter."

A shadow seemed to fall over her eyes while she still tried to present a civilzed front. In reality the question had been so unexpected that her walls were crumbling on the insides now. She felt the familiar pressure of tears behind her eyes.

"I tried to earn money for a living." The blonde didn't seem to be satisfied with that short an answer.

"I've never heard that any of the Violas left and ventured out of Daranje for such a long time. They 're far to important..."

"That's not true." A hint of steel was in Shizuru's voice now while she desperatly tried to keep her cool. It couldn't be possible that those two knew about her secret.

"My Grandfather rode out form the north into the south to get a bride."

Duran had stood up and eyes his young charge with worried eyes. It was like he could sense the uneasiness radiating from Shizuru in waves. The tightly controlled paranoid anger was getting him on edge and he cooked his ears, eyes never leaving the pair at the table.

" So that's where you've got the southern look. If you're looking for someone I can tell you.."

"ALYSSA !"

The sharp call from the fireplace immediately drowned any sound. Like even the walls were listening to what the mistress of the house had to say.

The green eyes seemed to have gotten lighter, the yellow spark were attempting to blot out the green. Or was it a trick of the light?

A white hand was pointing at the little girl which looked like she had been caught with her hand in a cookie-jar.

"I know you haven't met many people rom outside this last few days and I'm sorry for it. However what Viola is doing here is her own business. Don't pester her about it."

Alyssa's cheeks puffed in an almost adorable pout. "Don't you want to know if she's the ..."

"I said that's final ! Don't pester her about it. She'll talk about it at her own pace if at all."

The whole room had been silent at the last sentence. You could have heard a pin drop in there.

Now Shizuru was sure that something was wrong with her host's eyes. For a moment they had been a light yellow-green, nearly flashing in the low light.

Now it seemed it was time for Alyssa's hackles to rise. " At least I told her my name. I know she's not skilled in Kurgan Heraldy or she would have run screaming from the room you gave her!"

Light brown eyebrows rose. Heraldy...!

White fingers pointed at the behind the chair when the knight caught Shizuru looking. A big emblazoned coat of arms was visible on the smooth stone.

Metal inlay with precious stones and lots of burned glass. A pale blue rampant wolf with a crown around it's neck stood before a royal blue and white checkered background. A jagged red line ran behind the animal dividing the magnificient shield in two seperate fields. The wolf stood above a scroll but Shizuru couldn't read what was written on it.

The helmet and the coat that covered the top of the shield were a wondrous work of glass, steel and lapislazuli. The symbolic crown as the helmet figure was glinting knowingly at Shizuru.

She knew she had seen the picture on the top half of her bed, but she still didn't know the significance of it. Where else had she seen this particular set-up?

She knew that those shields were supposed to be unique. Even more so in Kurga where the nobles liked to distinguish themselves from others. Which meant there was probably only one family in this land with this particular arrangement.

What did the crown mean? In all her years in Kurga had she never seen a noble with a crown in his shield, only laurels banners. The crown...she knew she had seen the wolf with the crown somewhere...

Alyssa sighed and stepped over to Duran to keep him busy. The tense silence seemed to grate on his nerves and whined tensly, eyes never leaving his master.

Then it hit her. The crown ! There was only one family in Kurga which was allowed to carry a kings crown in their shields and Shizuru wished to hit herself. Of course! The crown, Duran, the castle...her old teacher back at home would have pulled her ears for such a slip.

"You're a Kruger..." it broke from her mouth and inwardly she cringed at the accusing tone in her voice.

Though it only earned a dry laugh from the woman in the seat. Alyssa wore an expression between pride and sadness and seemed to wait for a signal from her sister.

As soon as the laugh had echoed through the pillared hall, Duran had curled around the feet of his master, who again had managed to get out of her chair without a sound. One of her white hands lay on the wolf's head while the other beckoned her little sister near her under the seal.

"I'm Natsuki Sarkai da Kruger. This is my sister Alyssa, Miyu is an old friend of the family and this..." she petted the wolf "...this is Duran."

All had been declared in a levely cautious voice. Shizuru winced at the hopeful gaze Alyssa shot at her. I can't save you little girl...I can't even save myself

"The lost princesses..." She knew that even in Kardash rumors had gone around that the King had been murdered at the decision of the noble council . The more prominent rumor when she had stayed in the city was that the queen and her daughters, who had been declared dead after three months, had managed to vanish into the woods and were still alive. Weren't they related to the wood spirits?

Shizuru was astounded and happy that this time the peasants had been right.

A dry smile which didn't quite reach her strange eyes, was on the older Kruger's face.

"Three lost princesses hauled up together in a castle. Whoever will save us but ourselves...Maybe you can change something. Make me proud Viola." In the next moment Shizuru was alone with Miyu and Alyssa. She still pondered over these words when she stared at Duran's retreating tail in the dark.

Kardash was a devastating place in winter. Most nobles fled into their castles, Chales or whatever they owned as long as it wasn't in the city. Normally the king himself would be on one of his castles in the woods to escape the icy season.

Tonight was different.

The wind hunted snowflakes through the muddy alleys, the smoke of numerous chimneys and housefires would be caught in the chase and provided the moloch with a fine white and grey smog that wouldn't stay in one place. The "white fog" like the folklore used to call it was also to blame for the dark coloring of the houses. Sinter and soot covered nearly every stone in the city.

It was a depressinng sight, Kardash by night. There was nothing of the so called "Charme of the North". The howling wind, chilling everybody to the bone just added to that. No wonder that no one was out on the streets in the cold months.

Sergey would have preverd it to stay away from the city as long and as far away as possible but his new lord had demanded that the mourning festivities should be held in the capital.

Nagi literally had torn his coat apart when the tablau with the corpse of his father on it had passed him by at the funeral. The old Duke had been burned as it was tradition and all the speeches afterwards had been held with the expected good words and a lot of tear-choked voices.

Wong was disgusted by the display of this fraud. The bile in his throat rose even more when he caught a glimpse of his master's slightly smiling face.

He looked like the cat who just had succeded in robbing a pair of birds right out of their nest.

Dear Lord, what have we done...?

"Stop torturing the poor woman. I guess she would have found the way here even without your help...as cryptic as it was." Alyssa had joined her sister after a few moments and now they were wandering through the halls. Duran had returned and immediately had curled protectivly around the feet of their guest, sending them off with a look of aproval.

"Remind me to thank Michail for that...Don't be too hard on me Alyssa. I tried as much as I could..."

Alyssa always wondered. Black hair gleamed light blue for a moment at tiniest of motions. She, with her more then average knowledge and intelligence still didn't get it how her own sister managed to look like a ancient faerie while simply standing.

She definitly had inherited their mothers look. Though while Saeko da Gadhar had been like warm spring breeze her daughter was as cold as an icy sculpture. Alyssa knew that under the frosty exterior lay a jungle of feelings but still admired her sister for such a thight controll on her emotions...and in the same time pitied her for it.

It was rare for Natsuki, who disliked personla attention to herself fiercly, to embrace her little sister or simply comfort her. So Alyssa was a bit shocked when those strong arms enveloped her in a thight hug. It was always a pleasant surprise for the little girl, because these were the rare moments when she could see and feel the warmth under the layers of ice.

Her white teeth flashed in the darkness. "You're talkative today..."

Barely visible in the low light began a slow of a fine black eyebrow above golden emeralds.

"Is that so?"

Alyssa smiled again while she tried to make childish fog pictures on the old and expensive glass windows. " You're glad she made it here allright, right? "

Her whisper carried well through the silence and the little blond waited patiently. She knew her sister.

" I helped her as good as I could...I ...couldn't risk..." "You still don't trust her ? " Alyssa only had raised her voice to normal but still she could see the twitch in her sisters fine shoulders.

"I'd like to Aly...I'd really like to..." Golden green eyes looked out the window at the still forming moon.

"She'll have to come clean with herself first..."

Authors note:

I don't know if I got Natsuki right on the spot. It's always difficult to get into the head of a fictional person with her sort of issues...

I see her as a very intelligent and cautious woman, who knows more that it is good for her. Some people tend to portray her only as a person who seeks revengeor reduce her on the comedy aspect of her character. I don't think she would be reckless enough to put her whole envoirement at risk. I see a normally highly emotional girl with a very bad temper that has problems with interacting with other people. As to why she has this problems ...that's difficult to explain and I only can say read a book of Psychology. What I wanted to say is that there are never white and black with people. There's a whole gamut of colors and I will try to express these aspects of the characters in my story.

I refuse to victimze Natsuki or anyone in this they are unhappy about something they sure as hell will try to do something against it.

Shizuru on the other hand is in this story a whole other can of worms. She's to far concerned about her outside image. In fct she's so caught up in being the "perfect girl ...etc etc" that she literally killed herself from the inside. Shejsut as guarded about herself as Natsuki but she hides it behind a lavender wall (kudos to Chibi Rachy for that wonderful expression ^^ ) She tries to be as conform as possible and doesn't know who she is anymore.

Also there will be no blush-fests or Kyoto-ben in this story. First it doesn't fit the mood and the background of the story and second my japanese isn't nearly as good as I want it to be and so I decided not to butcher it by using it wrongly...and I think some people really overdo it with the "Ara Ara".

Translation:

Kruger: urban and dialect form of Kuruga or Kurga. Symbolizes the land, which means that the family with this name is literally the royal family got the name back in the founding days of the kingdom and never abondanded it.

Sarkai: "great Beast" or "great Warrior". A very old name.

Natsuki's first name was chosen by her mother as a reminder for her birthday. (Summer solstice). The name comes from Saeko's home, the ilands of Balan in the south of Kurga where the people speak a mix between Kiarani (Kurgan) and Zipangu which lies on the other side of the ocean.