Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not my property. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: July weather in Atlanta is very hot and humid so it's the perfect time to be inside where it's cool and I can finally finish this story that I've been writing. Tissue warning.
A cool breeze blew over the deck of Sam's house as Daniel stood talking with General Hammond.
"It's just such a shock, Dr. Jackson."
Daniel put his hands in his pockets. "I know. I don't think the reality will sink in for quite some time . . . for all of us."
They stood in silence for a few moments before the General spoke. "Well, I need to be going."
The two men shook hands. "It's good to see you, sir, although these certainly weren't the best circumstances."
"Take care, Doctor. I'll go say goodbye to Teal'c."
Daniel looked up at the dark clouds and could almost smell the approaching rain. Stepping inside the house, he closed the sliding door behind him.
"Everyone has finally left, Teal'c. Where's Cassie?"
"She is in her room."
"Where's Sam?"
"I have not seen her for quite some time. She has had many people around her for the past few days so she probably feels the need to be alone" Teal'c answered just as a bolt of lightning flashed outside.
"There were so many people at the funeral, at the cemetery and so many came here that I saw her speaking with. She has tried to be so strong in front of everyone, Teal'c, but she's got to be so tired."
"I am aware."
The two friends walked down the hall to Sam's bedroom to see if she was lying down but she wasn't there.
The sound of thunder shook the house just as the rain began.
Daniel went to the window and looked outside. "Her car is gone, Teal'c. I think I know where she is. Could you stay here with Cassie?"
"Indeed."
Daniel left the house as Teal'c knocked on Cassie's bedroom door.
"Cassandra, may I enter?"
"Come in, Teal'c."
He pushed open the door to see her sitting on the side of the bed.
"Do you need anything?"
Cassie shook her head. "No thanks."
Teal'c sat down beside her as Cassie wiped her eyes. "I feel like I've lost four parents. First, my parents on Hanka, then Mom here on Earth and now Jack."
Teal'c clasped his hands together. "It is always difficult when death comes to those we love."
"I don't know how Sam will cope, Teal'c. She loved Jack so much."
"A love like theirs was very rare but Samantha is strong. With help from her friends, she will survive."
Cassie leaned against Teal'c and he put his arm around her.
"I hope you're right. I don't know what I'd do if I lost Sam too."
~oOo~
Gripping the steering wheel, tears slid down Sam's cheeks. She had tried to be brave all day and not let her emotions show in front of everyone, but now that she was finally alone, she could let herself succumb to her despair.
Arriving at the cemetery, she exited the car just as lightning lit up the early evening sky. Looking up, she felt the first drops of rain on her face as they mixed with her tears.
Thinking she probably should have grabbed the umbrella from her car, she really didn't care if she got wet or not.
Walking to the grave where she had stood so solemnly just a few hours ago, she was overcome with grief and fatigue as she stood by the flower-covered grave. Falling to her knees on the grass, she remembered her last conversation with Jack.
"So, miss me?"
"Not at all" she teased Jack and giggled.
"Are you giggling, Carter?"
"No sir" she said as another giggle escaped.
"You know what I've said about giggling."
"Yes sir, no more giggling."
There was silence for a few moments.
"I miss you, Sam."
She closed her eyes, realizing how desperately she wanted to see her husband. "I miss you too, Jack. I wish you were here."
"Me too, but we only have one more week to go, then I'll be retiring and coming home."
"I can hardly wait."
"Don't think you'll get tired of having grumpy me around all the time?"
She smiled. "As I said, Jack, I can hardly wait."
Jack chuckled, then sighed. "I'll let you go so you can get back to your doohickeys and I must attack this never ending mound of paperwork on my desk."
"Okay. We'll talk soon."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Jack."
Those had been the last words they had spoken to each other.
She wrapped her arms around her waist and sobbed as she rocked back and forth. The rain came down harder, soaking her hair and clothes as she remembered the day that changed her life forever.
The next day, after their last conversation, she was in her lab running an experiment, when she suddenly looked up to see General Landry, Daniel, Teal'c, Cam and Vala slowly enter the room. The look on the men's faces instantly told her that something wasn't right and Vala looked as if she was about to cry.
Daniel came walking toward her and she could feel her heart beating faster.
"Daniel . . . what's going on?"
"Sam, sit down please."
"No. Something's wrong. Just tell me."
Daniel took a deep breath. "It's Jack."
Her hands began to tremble.
"He . . . he had a heart attack, Sam."
Tears filled her eyes and she suddenly felt she couldn't breathe.
"Is he okay?"
Daniel couldn't face her as he looked down at the floor and slowly shook his head.
"Noooo!" she whispered and put her hands to her chest.
Daniel tried to come closer and held out his arms but she stepped back and wouldn't let him touch her.
"This is a mistake! Jack is in Washington and he's fine! I talked to him just yesterday and he was fine!"
Daniel shook his head once again. "No, Sam . . . he isn't."
Feeling her world shattering, tears spilled from her eyes. "Oh, God. Oh, God. No."
Daniel took two quick steps and held her as she leaned heavily against him.
Cam pushed a chair toward them and Daniel eased her into it.
Vala knelt in front of her and wrapped her arms around her. "I'm so sorry, Sam."
She looked up at Daniel. "What happened?"
General Landry pulled up a chair and sat down beside her. "Jack had just finished a meeting with the Joint Chiefs when he suddenly couldn't breathe and collapsed on the floor. Paramedics were called and he was rushed to Walter Reed but he died in the emergency room."
General Landry put his hand on her shoulder as tears filled his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Colonel."
Daniel put his arm around her and helped her stand. "Come on, Sam. Teal'c and I will take you home."
She did not remember the drive to her house and vaguely remembered Daniel escorting her to her bedroom, lying down on the bed and staring at the wall as her world seemed to cave in around her.
After informing General Hammond of Jack's death, General Landry contacted the Asgard, the Tok'ra and Jonas Quinn to tell them what had happened.
Having known Sara O'Neill when she and Jack were still married, General Landry had gone to her home and told her of Jack's death.
Daniel broke the news to a devastated Cassie and she arrived in tears at Sam's house.
Daniel called Mark and he and his family arrived from San Diego the next day.
Mark came out on the deck to find her sitting on the steps so he sat down beside her.
"Hey, kiddo."
She slowly turned her head and smiled a sad smile. "Hey, Mark."
"How you holding up?"
"I don't really know" she whispered as she stared across her yard.
He put his arm around her. "Sam, cry if you want to. You don't have to be brave around me like you think you have to be around your friends. You don't have to pretend you're okay. I'm your big brother and I know better."
She turned to look at him and burst into tears. Mark held her and rubbed her back as she cried on his shoulder.
Cassie, Teal'c and Daniel stayed with her and as funeral arrangements were made, she kept telling herself that she would soon wake up from this nightmare.
Cassie and Daniel had urged her to eat so she had been sitting in her kitchen eating a sandwich, when she heard a knock on the door. She stood up to see who it was and came face to face with Sara O'Neill.
"Hi. I hope I'm not intruding but I wanted to see you."
"Please, come in."
"No, I can't."
Sara paused for a moment.
"I don't really know why I came here. I guess I just wanted to come by and see how you're doing." Sara looked down at her hands as tears filled her eyes. "This is such a shock."
She clutched the tissue in her hand. "Yes, it is."
Sara wiped her eyes. "I saw your wedding picture in the paper so I know you hadn't been married very long."
She tried not cry. "No, we hadn't."
"I guess I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry this happened."
She placed her hand on Sara's and gently squeezed. "Thank you, Sara. This really means a lot to me."
"He was a wonderful man, wasn't he?"
She nodded her head. "He certainly was."
"I should go."
"It was nice of you to come by, Sara."
They hugged briefly and she watched as Sara started back down the steps.
"Sara."
Sara turned to face her.
"You will be at the funeral, won't you?"
Sara nodded her head and she watched as Sara got into her car and drove away.
The night before the funeral, she lay in bed staring into the darkness, wondering how she could go on without Jack, when suddenly there was a bright flash of light in her bedroom. She sat up quickly to see a little gray alien standing beside her.
"Colonel, I hope I am not disturbing your sleep."
"No, you're not. It's good to see you, Thor."
"I am sorry we have to meet again under such dire circumstances, but I received word of O'Neill's passing and wished to tell you that I am sorry. He was a wonderful ally for the Asgard and I shall miss my friend."
Tears came to her eyes. "Thank you."
"I wanted you, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c to know that you have my sincerest sympathies. O'Neill's leadership and friendship will be greatly missed."
She slid out of bed, knelt down and gently wrapped her arms around the tiny alien.
Leaning back, she looked into his big black eyes. "Thank you for taking the time to come by. This really means a lot to me and I'll let Daniel and Teal'c know you were here."
"I hope to see you again soon, Colonel, under better circumstances."
"It's always good to see you, Thor."
Another bright light suddenly filled the room and Thor was gone.
Sitting down on the side of the bed, she allowed herself to cry for a few minutes.
Knowing that sleep would not come, she wandered out into the hall. She could see the light under the bottom of the door of Cassie's room, so she gently knocked and went inside. Cassie was sitting up in bed and crying, so she sat down beside her and wrapped her arms around her.
Cassie wiped her eyes. "I was just thinking about your wedding. You looked so beautiful and Jack was so happy. I'd never seen him that happy. And now . . ."
Sam took a deep breath. "He was looking forward to retirement and coming home and I was so glad that we wouldn't have to live apart any more."
"You know what, Sam?"
"What, honey?"
"I always thought that when I got married some day, I would ask Jack to give me away, but now that won't happen."
Sam hugged Cassie to her as Cassie started to cry again. "Jack would have loved that. You really were like a daughter to him, honey. He loved you very much."
At the funeral, the church was filled to capacity. Some of the people who had been on Jack's staff in Washington had arrived for the funeral as had two of the Joint Chiefs.
Many of the people Jack had worked with at Stargate Command had been present to honor a man that so many of them had admired and respected.
During the service, Daniel delivered the eulogy. She could still picture Daniel's face as he spoke so eloquently, but knowing better than anyone, just how devastated he really was at having to say goodbye to his best friend.
At the cemetery, the Air Force chaplain spoke for a few moments and as he finished speaking, the nearby sounds of the rifle volley rang out in the quiet cemetery.
She stood staring at the coffin as the lonely sound of Taps was played and watched the precision of the honor guard as they folded the American flag that draped Jack's coffin. The flag was given to the chaplain and when he turned to present the flag to her, it took every bit of her willpower not to cry.
She tried not to tremble as the chaplain gently laid the flag in her hands, looked into her eyes and said "on behalf of the President of the United States, the Department of the Air Force, and a grateful nation, we offer this flag for the faithful and dedicated service of Major General Jonathan O'Neill."
As the service finished and people began to depart, she clutched the flag in her arms and stood staring at the coffin as her family and friends waited patiently several feet away.
"I love you, Jack. I always will" she whispered as tears slipped down her cheeks. Quickly wiping her eyes, she turned around to see Sara standing close by.
They walked toward each other and embraced.
"Take care, Samantha" Sara whispered as she tried not to cry.
She let go and looked into Sara's eyes.
"You take care too."
Many people had come to her house after the funeral to pay their respects.
After speaking with General Hammond, Siler and Walter, Jonas walked up to her and gave her a hug. He told her how much he had admired and respected Jack and would always be grateful for everything he had learned from him when he had been a member of SG-1.
Feeling the effects of the last few days, she was glad when people began to leave.
She walked Mark and his family to their car. Thanking Mark for coming, he gave her a long hug and asked her to come visit soon.
Missing Jack desperately and without telling anyone where she was going, she got into her car and drove to the cemetery.
She now watched as rain fell on the fresh dirt and flowers that covered her husband's grave.
"Oh Jack, why did you have to leave me? Why did this happen now when we've been married less than a year? You made me happier than I've ever been in my entire life. You were the very best thing to ever happen to me and now you've left me here to go on without you. I don't know that I can."
Feeling so overwhelmed with grief, she was hardly aware of the arms that suddenly slipped around her from behind and held her.
She quickly turned to see that it was Daniel.
Knowing that no words would comfort her just now, Daniel stayed silent and held her as she cried out her overwhelming grief and despair.
"I wasn't even there, Daniel. Jack died all alone. He shouldn't have had to die alone. I should have been with him. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye and tell him how much I love him."
"I'm so sorry, Sam. I'm so sorry."
Finally letting go, he sat down beside her.
"Sam, you need to get out of the rain. It's cool out here. You're exhausted and you need some sleep and I don't want you to get sick. We can come back tomorrow when the weather is better. Okay?"
Sam didn't move so Daniel waited patiently, not wanting to rush her when she wanted to be close to Jack.
"Daniel?"
"Yes?"
Sam looked at him with such grief in her eyes that it almost startled him.
"I hadn't told Jack."
Daniel frowned. "Hadn't told him what?"
Sam paused a moment. "That I'm pregnant."
Daniel stared almost unbelievingly at his friend. "Oh, Sam."
Daniel put his arm around her shoulder, not knowing what else to say and feeling as though he had just had the wind knocked out of him.
Sam brushed tears from her cheeks. "I found out last week. I wanted to wait until Jack got home so I could tell him in person. I wanted to see the look on his face when he found out he was going to be a father again. And now, he'll never know."
Sam started to sob and Daniel almost felt like crying with her.
"What will I do, Daniel? I don't know if I can raise this baby by myself."
"You won't have to, Sam. You've got me and Teal'c and Cassie and so many others to help and support you. You're not alone in this. I promise."
Just as it stopped raining, Sam slowly moved to stand up.
Seeing that she was ready to leave, Daniel quickly stood and helped her to her feet. Putting his arm around her he walked her to his car and she got inside.
"Teal'c and I will come back later and get your car."
She nodded her head.
Daniel got in on the driver's side and turned to face her.
"I know you feel that your world will never be the same again, and in some ways it won't, but you have lots of friends who'll help you through this."
Sam tried to smile as she squeezed Daniel's hand. "Thank you."
Daniel started the car and they drove away from the cemetery in silence.
~oOo~
Over the next several months, Sam decided she would not go off-world any more but would work strictly in her lab at Stargate Command. She didn't want to take the chance that she could die on some far away planet and leave her child an orphan.
She visited Jack's grave often, bringing new flowers to replace old ones. Sometimes Daniel, Teal'c, Cassie or Vala would accompany her, but most of the time she liked to come by herself and enjoy the quiet solitude.
Early one morning, she knew she was going into labor. Cassie was staying with her so she quickly woke her up and Cassie drove her to the base.
The stargate closed behind Daniel, Cam and Teal'c and they walked down the ramp to see General Landry waiting for them.
"Welcome back, guys. I have some good news."
"What's that, sir?" Cam asked.
"Sam had the baby."
The men hurried down the corridor and went inside the infirmary to see Cassie on one side of Sam's bed and Vala on the other. Sam was holding a tiny bundle in her arms.
Daniel kissed Sam on the cheek as she pulled back the blanket to reveal a tiny baby with brown hair, long eyelashes and long fingers.
"What's its name?" Cam asked.
Sam stared at her baby as tears came to her eyes. "His name is Jonathan Jacob O'Neill but I'll call him Jon."
Daniel grinned. "Very fitting."
Teal'c smiled. "O'Neill would have been very proud, Samantha."
Sam brushed tears from her eyes. "I know, Teal'c. He would have loved having another son."
Dr. Lam came into the room. "Okay people, Sam needs to rest and it's time to feed Jon so all of you need to leave."
Over a chorus of protests, Dr. Lam began to usher everyone out. "You can come back later."
As Sam settled Jon at her breast she began to talk to him.
"Your Dad would be so proud of you. You're going to know everything there is to know about your Father."
Sam continued to talk as baby Jon wrapped his tiny hand around her finger.
"Your Dad was Major General Jack O'Neill of the United States Air Force. He was handsome and intelligent and kind and thoughtful. He saved the world several times and was a galactic hero. He liked fishing and hockey and kids and airplanes and space ships and pie and cake and The Simpsons. He loved The Simpsons. He loved his cabin in Minnesota and he would have loved to have taken you there and taught you how to fish. He had strong opinions of what was right and what was wrong and he had a sarcastic sense of humor. He had this little alien buddy named Thor that maybe you'll get to meet some day. Thor would love that. Your Dad liked to tease me and he always told me I work too much. And you know what, Jon? He was right. Your Dad was also a little stubborn and there were times he could be a little bit cranky, but I loved him anyway."
Sam paused for a moment. "You had an older brother named Charlie and when you're old enough to understand, I'll tell you about him."
Tears came to Sam's eyes. "Your Dad and I loved each other for a long time before we were married. I still love him with all my heart and more than anyone could ever imagine."
Sam paused as she gently rubbed her finger against Jon's soft cheek. "I hope you grow up to be just like him."
As Sam finished feeding Jon, Dr. Lam came back in the room. "Doing okay?"
"We're fine."
"Let me have him and I'll put him down for you."
Sam placed her son in the Doctor's arms and watched as she gently laid Jon in the bassinet and tucked the blanket around him.
The Doctor squeezed Sam's hand. "Let me or the nurses know if you need anything."
Sam smiled. "I will. Thanks."
Sam stared at her son, realizing how much she already loved him.
Feeling as though she couldn't keep her eyes open any longer, she lay down and pulled a blanket over herself. Closing her eyes, she whispered "I miss you, Jack, and I love you."
The End
