Chapter 6: Good day to you, sir!

'Alex, did you seriously think we would go there? That is hilarious. You can be so gullible,' Cristina said. Alex just nodded, as if he wanted to say that he had known it was never going to happen, but still.

'A guy can dream, right?'

He had a stupid, goofy smile on his face. Meanwhile, Meredith was still gasping for breath and hiccupping with laughter. It took her quite some time to compose herself and when she did she was completely serious.

'Alex, would you leave us for a moment? And please don't go spreading the news around the hospital,' Meredith asked and Alex made the universal mum's the word signal: he zipped his mouth and pretended to throw away the key. Or was that only the kid's version of mum's the word? Cristina was awfully confused at the moment and couldn't remember exactly.

'I'll just go upstairs, you know, to my room. I'm pretty tired actually, so if anyone changes their mind later; no thanks,' Alex said and he smirked that obnoxious smirk of his as he ascended the stairs. Cristina merely shook her head and rolled her eyes at Meredith, who briefly allowed herself a smile, then turned serious again.

'I feel like we're going about this the wrong way. We've always been very chicks before dicks, but this is a bit more than that,' Meredith said and she patted on the couch. After Meredith sat down Cristina sat down onto the couch too, but she was feeling apprehensive.

'Is it because of Zola? Because I like her, I like the baby and I will love her too. It is not... I don't... I can...,' Cristina found herself stammering and Meredith grabbed her fluttering hand to calm her down.

'Relax,' Meredith said and Cristina tried to do the small puffs of air thing, which always calmed her down and which she suddenly realised is what pregnant women do in labour. How could she not have realised this before? She shakily exhaled slowly one last time and then looked at Meredith. Despite her hands cupping Cristina's hand Meredith wasn't really in the moment. She seemed miles away, until Cristina gently squeezed her hands and she returned.

'That means a lot to me, but you don't want children,' Meredith responded and unconsciously they both glanced at Cristina's stomach for a split second. Cristina shifted on the couch. She could do this. It was like making a case for the solo surgery; except Meredith hadn't given it to her. Ok, it was like making a case for herself as chief resident; except she hadn't gotten that one either. Damn!

'It's not a choice,' Cristina began and Meredith nodded affirmatively, 'The abortion, that is a choice, but Zola is not an option. I mean, she comes with you, and I choose you.'

'So, you're okay with having a baby?' Meredith asked and Cristina joked that as long as she was not literally required to have the baby she was more than alright with it. Plus, she really wasn't going to be a full parent, more like an aunt slash parent or a stepparent or something like that. Derek was definitely not going to pass on the chance of being an annoying father. There she was, being unnecessarily harsh again; he would probably make a good father. And he certainly wasn't going to give up Zola.

'My surgery was cancelled, so I'm still free. What are you talking about?'

It was like Alex's sudden appearance all over again. Luckily, this time they weren't making out. Cristina could be thankful for that at least. She got up to leave the room so Meredith and Derek could finish their talk from the afternoon, which she kind of thought she knew the end to now, but Meredith pulled her back onto the couch. However, Cristina was having none of that and she let go of Meredith's hand. No need to present a united front or anything like that. It was only Derek, but Cristina discovered she found that disrespectful even to him. It reminded her of when Izzie and George had pretended to wait to have sex 'out of respect for Callie.' They certainly hadn't been having a lot of respect for her when they slept together when Callie and George were married.

And Derek and Meredith had been on and off again for the entire time Cristina had known Meredith. There was love there. Sure, there was also highly aggravating moral superiority, but still. And they had kissed yesterday or today. Cristina might have been able to explain that away, because their marriages had been in ruins and Meredith was drunk and she was fake drunk. But what they had just been doing on the couch; that could never be filed away under mistakes. Which meant it was most definitely cheating and wrong. Which meant she wasn't going to sit there on the couch with Meredith while Meredith broke up with Derek and broke his heart. You know, if she had believed that the heart was an organ that could be broken.

Also, Cristina would never in her life willingly put herself in a situation where they could be compared to George and Izzie. Just ew. And who would be who? Would she be Izzie? Disturbing. Would she be George? Nothing bad about the dead, but he was such a dork. So, 'out of respect' for Derek – and she didn't know why she was accompanying it with air quotes in her mind, because it was genuinely out of respect – she left the room and went upstairs. She drifted from Meredith's room to Zola's, who was still sleeping peacefully, to Meredith's room again. In the end she just sat on the bed and waited.

(***)

The footsteps coming up the stairs were slower than Cristina had anticipated, but she quickly realised that while there was cause for joy there was also cause for sadness for Meredith. Meredith quietly entered the bedroom and let herself fall backwards onto the bed.

'We broke up,' she confirmed in a small voice. Cristina hadn't asked, but the unspoken question had been in the air. What was strange about this moment was that the first thing Cristina thought of was the last thing she would have expected to think of. She didn't think of what this meant for their future, or whether it would be insensitive to do a little victory dance – yes – or how she wanted to make love to Meredith right then and there; she thought about what this meant for Zola. That meant, she realised with a shock, that she cared.

'What about Zola?'

Meredith rolled onto her side to face Cristina and she managed to smile. Apparently, she was aware of the significance of this being the first question.

'We'll co-parent. That's all we've decided on now. We'll have to arrange everything in the divorce, but we did agree on that,' Meredith said and Cristina picked up on the flicker of guilt crossing Meredith's face. She stretched out next to her and stroked her arm.

'Are you worried about Zola? How this will affect her?' Cristina murmured and Meredith sighed. It was a big sigh and Cristina knew that it would take a long time for Meredith to adjust. To not being with Derek, to having a baby and to being with Cristina. But that was alright; Cristina had her own issues to deal with too and they would work it out together.

'Yes, because I feel like we promised her a family and now I've broken that promise. Now all she has are two people who hopefully continue to be able to get along. That's not exactly a family,' Meredith explained and Cristina was suddenly feeling rather hopeful.

'She's got you and Derek, whether you're together or not. And this morning, and I thought it was beyond creepy at the time, I felt that with Jackson and Lexie and April around it felt like I had an extended family. Maybe that's what Zola will feel too. You have all these people to help you with Zola and they adore her,' Cristina said. Miraculously, that felt...true. Zola would probably be the most loved baby in the world.

'That would be nice. Thanks. It will still be hard though.'

Isn't it always? That's what Cristina thought, but she simply returned Meredith's smile. Meredith shuffled a little closer and Cristina stroked her hair.

'When is the appointment?' Meredith asked and Cristina tensed. She mumbled it was next week and continued to stroke Meredith's hair. Right now she didn't feel like thinking about that at all, she had thought about that more than enough the last two days.

'Do you want me to come with you?'

'Yeah, let's take Zola too. Those people with the signs will love that. Two lesbians with a black baby going in for an abortion. They'll have a field day,' Cristina sharply retorted, but she apologised immediately. She was on edge, they were both on edge.

'No need to apologise, I get it. It was quite the day. I'm up a baby, down a husband, Alex is back and we're...lesbians?' Meredith asked and Cristina wanted to say that they were not lesbians, because Arizona was a lesbian and Callie was bisexual and they were definitely more like Callie than like Arizona. They were not perky and happy and whatnot; they were hardcore. But suddenly she felt, ridiculously, a bit redundant. As if the hospital didn't need any more bisexual women. That's a stupid thought, she told herself, it's not like we're trying to fill a quota or anything.

'We're in love, that's what we are,' Cristina said and Meredith smile was so bright that it lit up the room. She knew she was being sentimental, but to Cristina it really did feel like the room was lighter and brighter. This time Cristina was the one to straddle Meredith. And she chided herself for not doing this in college, but she had been far too busy then. As she slipped her hand into Meredith's panties, she decided she didn't want that experience anyway. The only woman she had ever wanted was Meredith. And she knew how to do this. She had years and years of practise. On herself. So, as Meredith lay back and beamed at her, she admired every freckle as she inserted one finger into Meredith. She fluttered the fingers of her other hand over Meredith's smooth stomach as she added another finger. She kissed Meredith's beautiful lips as she guided Meredith to her climax and that moment, that moment when Meredith moaned and her head tipped back and her mouth did the most adorable wrinkly thing Cristina decided that heaven did exist. And this was it.

The end.