The Mysteries of James T. Kirk
Chapter Four: Alarms, Children, and Confusion
"What manner of man is this grim figure
who has performed these superb toils
and loosed these frightful evils?"
~ Winston Churchill ~
Lieutenant Freeman didn't understand why they had returned to Gamma Trianguli IV.
He and his team had stayed behind on the planet, even though Lieutenant Uhura and Commander Spock had already back up to the ship with a mysterious woman. He didn't understand the command track's ability to discover every trouble and curiosity in the universe and then go blubbering through it like a clumsy ostrich. But he followed his orders and never asked questions which kept him out of trouble and in one of the most coveted positions aboard the Enterprise. Not because of favoritism, but because he made sure to stick close to the Captain and the rest of the command crew during any missions he did go on.
However his current mission carefully left out any descriptive information, which worried him. How did he know if he was walking into a trap, or worse, a Starfleet review? They hadn't found anything of special consequence, making him wonder exactly why he was on the planet in the first place.
Then again, knowing Kirk, it probably had something to do with the Captain's disappearance.
As security chief he was in charge of the safety of the crew, specifically the Captain. That didn't mean that he had to follow the Captain like an obedient guard dog, but it did mean that he was in charge of making sure the Captain was never placed in situations where his life would be at risk.
In other words, Captain James T. Kirk made his life a living hell. The amount of paperwork on his desk was truly astounding.
It also meant that he wasn't as surprised when orders changed on a dime, or when it seemed he was given a task that seemed pointless. Captain Kirk was a good man. However his rash personality meant that he didn't truly think through his decisions, and relied more on his instincts and hunches.
So when his team was ordered to regroup and wait for further instructions he wasn't surprised. It took him relatively little time to call his two men to him.
He was especially not surprised when one of his men informed him that the Enterprise was unable to beam them back up.
"What do you mean we're stuck here?" He exclaimed into his communicator.
"Just that, Sir," Lieutenant Uhura's silky voice replied. "The Vaalian government has just informed us that there will be some interference from the planet. It seems that the planet's technicians are rebooting the computers that crashed when the Dilys attacked."
"And because all of their technology is connected we're stuck here 'til the Enterprise can send a shuttlepod to pick us up." Freeman said wirily.
The lieutenant laughed, "The shuttlepod has been orbiting the planet for a while now. It'll be there in less than a couple of minutes."
"It better be Lieutenant," Freeman said jokingly before closing his communicator.
Naturally the shuttlepod was unable to land because of the dense jungle. So now they were forced to trek to the nearest jungle clearing, which just so happened to be a mile away. Nevertheless they made it with relatively no injuries – their biggest injury being a large cut on Ensign Ru's hand caused by his own ineptness with his own dagger.
Their shuttlepod arrived less than a minute afterwards and the three men boarded quickly.
Neither man noticing a small shadow that jumped on board just before the ramp shut closed.
Yeoman Rand was irritated.
She understood that it was wrong of her to ask where the Captain was. She knew that she wasn't as important as Lieutenant Uhura or Ensign Chekhov, but she also knew that she wasn't just the Captain's Yeoman.
Rand was his personal secretary, a task that would be very simple if it were for anyone but Captain James Tiberius Kirk. If Rand didn't know any better she would've believed the Captain was capable of doing anything.
And he could, the Captain seemed capable of twisting space and time to fit his idea of a perfect universe. He seemed to be able to do anything…
Except paperwork.
It wasn't that she hated doing the work. She found work invigorating.
What she did find infuriating was that the Captain seemed to live to make her life difficult. In fact in the first week of her job she was forced to run back and forth around the Enterprise as she turned in permissions to engineering, medical, security, and the botany departments. The first week had also been a first for her when she found herself hoarse after having spent hours on the phone clearing out mistaken appointments and reports.
She was not any yeoman. She was Captain Kirk's yeoman, which meant that she spent most of her time going into the depths of hell (aka rousing Kirk out of bed) in order to get him to sign off on countless of papers.
Of course it might have been a teensy bit wrong of her to have tried barging through the pair of large guards standing outside the medical bay. But she had to admit that any logical yeoman would've tried the same if they had been in her position.
Never mind the fact that she was now sitting in Commander Spock's office being interrogated by both Spock and Dr. McCoy, or the fact that her hands were currently bound behind her back with restraints.
"Are you listening Yeoman Rand?"
She also couldn't understand the Captain's patience with the half-Vulcan in front of her. If she were the one who had a Vulcan constantly citing off a list of regulations at her ear, she would've gone insane long ago.
"Yeoman Rand?"
Not to mention that the Vulcan always seemed to debate with the Captain on the logic of the Captain's decisions, and how he found it "unwise" to take such courses of action.
"Ms. Rand?"
If only she had been there when the then Acting Captain Spock had gotten into a fight with Kirk during the Nero conflict. Not that she wanted to see the then stowaway Kirk getting slugged right in front of the whole bridge crew, but she would've at least had some satisfaction that this Vulcan did in fact have emotions and would act upon them in stressful situations.
Rand had only been placed on duty just a few months after the Nero conflict, meaning that she had to rely on the rest of the crew's stories (some of which were too extravagant to be considered true).
"Yeoman!" Commander Spock exclaimed catching her attention after several failed attempts.
She smiled sweetly at him, "Yes, Commander?"
Spock only raised an eyebrow before motioning the guards behind her. Rand immediately felt the restraints fall away from her wrists.
"Would you please explain once more as to why you tried to enter a restricted area?"
Rubbing her red wrists she sighed as she repeated her intentions. "As the Captain's Yeoman it is my duty to make sure that the Captain reads and signs off all his reports and logs. It's been two days time since anyone but You, Dr. McCoy, and Lieutenant Uhura have set sights on the Captain. Whatever the cause may be, I could care less at the moment. However my desk, as well as the Captain's, has been high piled with reports."
"But why would you try to barge through the security guards?" Dr. McCoy's voice questioned as he walked around Spock's large (and spotlessly organized, Rand noticed enviously) desk.
"Doctor, as you well know, I am used to the Captain's games of hide-and-go-seek. Since the Captain was hurt planet-side I only found it obvious that the Captain would be either unconscious or drinking your special whiskey cabinet dry, as per custom." Rand said shrugging.
Spock's eyebrow rose higher as he turned to Dr. McCoy. "It is the Captain's custom to drink after a hard mission?"
McCoy chuckled nervously, throwing Rand a glower (which she ignored) before answering. "Hell if I know, however I do find my cabinet severely lacking after a particularly hard mission."
Lies, Rand thought to herself. Nevertheless the Captain's habits after a mission didn't concern her, unless if he was unable to finish his paperwork on time that is. And she wouldn't be the one to tell the Vulcan that the Captain was breaking regulation. She would let the members of the Command Crew work that conflict out.
Spock didn't look like he believed McCoy, and for good reason. "Doctor might I remind you that it is Starfleet regulation that all –"
"Can I go now?" Rand interrupted what was surely about to become one of Spock's long tirades on Starfleet policy. She noticed with some pleasure that both Dr. McCoy and the guards behind her looked a bit thankful at her interruption.
The commander looked a bit miffed at her rudeness but nodded his head anyways. "You may, however I would remind you that if another incident like this happens I will be forced to take adequate measures against you."
Rand fought the urge to roll her eyes. Did she mention that she was only twenty-three and had taken an accelerated course at the Starfleet Academy in order to get this position at such a young age? Did Captain James T. Kirk notice her genius?
No, did Rand mind? Yes, but not because she felt under appreciated. The Captain made it his duty to get to know everyone on his ship, which meant that he and Rand spoke on a daily bases. Plus he didn't treat her the same way her fellow classmates (and yes, some of her teachers) had at the Academy, regardless of his womanizing reputation.
What she minded was that her reputation as a hardworking, never-resting, perfectionist might be at risk if the Captain continued his hiding.
The yeoman ran a few tactical plans on how to reach the Captain mentally as she walked through the maze of corridors in the Enterprise after exiting the Commander's office. If she had been paying more attention to her surroundings she might have noticed the young boy who happened to intersect her path. She also might have noticed that this young boy was not a familiar face, because surely everyone on the Enterprise knew her rampaging, planning, and get-Kirk-in-his-office face by now.
Nonetheless she didn't and ended up not only plowing through the boy, but tripping and falling flat on her face.
It took her a few moments to notice the fact that she was no longer walking smoothly and elegantly through the Enterprise, but was now lying flat on her face in a most undignified position.
Sitting up straight she quickly looked around hoping that she hadn't flashed some poor un-expecting officer. Curse these short skirts, she thought to herself as her eyes finally landed on the now crying boy.
"Oh dear," she murmured as she moved to help the boy up. "Shh…please don't cry. I'm sorry I didn't see you."
She patted the boy's clothes removing small specks of dirt. She also silently placed a mental note to ask the cleaning crew to go through the Enterprise's corridors once more as she noticed just how much dust she was removing.
The boy didn't cease his crying, however, and Rand was now fighting the urge to run away and leave the child alone. She was definitely not good with kids.
"Come now, I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?" Rand was now checking for any unseen injuries, but the boy seemed fine enough to her.
The boy only seemed to increase the volume of his cries.
Crap, Rand thought. "Are you lost? Who's your mommy?" the frantic yeoman asked quickly switching tactics. Children liked their mommies, didn't they? Surely the child's mother would know what was wrong with the child. Her mind was frenzied. She was a Captain's yeoman. It was all she ever trained for. She was not part of the Enterprise's childcare, and she would fight till her last breath if they ever tried placing her there.
The boy hiccuped, seemingly recognizing the word "mommy." He looked up at her with glittering cerulean eyes making Rand fight the urge to slap herself for ever wanting to run away from the child.
She smiled what she hoped would be a trusting smile. "Yes, Mommy," she felt like sobbing in relief for finally calming the boy down. "Maybe we can look for your mommy together."
The boy shuddered as the last tears ran down his face and with a sigh as he placed his hand in hers. Nodding once Rand began to walk again. After a few moments of tense silence – mostly on her side because she was still expecting another outburst of tears – Rand resigned herself and began to give the young boy an unofficial tour of the Enterprise.
Even though the boy couldn't have been older than two years, Rand felt as though the boy was absorbing her words without a problem.
Together the two of them made their way through the Enterprise, searching for mommy.
Ensign Chekhov didn't understand why he had been awakened from his sleep.
One glance at his clock showed that he didn't have to report to the bridge for two full hours.
Yet something had pulled him out of his dreams of rooms filled with Russian Pirozhki, which placed the eighteen-year old ensign in a bad mood.
"Iz vseh nochyeĭ pochemu…" He went off in Russian wondering why out of all days he woke up early today.
Everyone onboard the Enterprise knew of the Captain's missing status. Chekhov didn't know more than anyone else, a fact that truly annoyed him especially when other officers tried to ask him questions about the Captain's current status.
"He's vith Dr. McCoy," He would reply vaguely because in truth that was all he knew.
So when it came time for Chekhov to leave the bridge for some most needed rest, he was glad. Glad to finally be able to escape the relentless questions.
He had even fallen asleep the moment his head touched the pillow, an experience that Chekhov had not felt often.
But now something was itching at the back of his head, like an incessant alarm, not allowing him to fall back into his dreams of traditional Russian foods.
The young man sat up and inspected his room. Maybe something had fallen and had awoken him. Or maybe he had kicked some of his pillows and sheets to the floor.
He counted the amount of pillows and sheets on his bed before shaking his head. The room also seemed to be exactly the way it had been when he had fallen asleep.
Grumbling about insomnia the young Russian genius lay back down on his large bed. Being part of the Command Crew did have its perks, one of them being better rooms and bedding. Cuddling one of his pillows the ensign silently agreed with himself that some mysteries were better left alone. Besides he would search his room more thoroughly when he woke up in an hour or so.
He was almost asleep when he noticed a blinking red light coming from his wrist watch. The Russian teen frowned before bringing it a bit closer to his face.
He didn't remember buying a watch with a red light. It took a few seconds before recognition fluttered through him, having the same effect as a bucket of cold water being poured down his back.
Gasping Chekhov uttered a Russian curse before flinging himself out of bed, almost tripping in his haste. He did remember having installed a red light into his watch a few months into his service aboard the Enterprise. He knew why he had done so, and exactly what the red light meant.
Dressing quickly the Russian native ran out of his quarters, startling a nearby crew member and sending a few yeomans to the ground in his hurry to the bridge. He had the slightest amount of guilt at having shoved aside so many people, but duty called.
"I'm wery sorry!" He yelled at the group of stunned crew members before jumping into the nearest lift.
"Bridge," He stated grasping onto the small panel.
The ride to the bridge was short but it seemed like lifetimes to the ensign. When the doors finally opened he fixed his eyes on the sight of frenetic bridge crew before him. Commander Spock seemed to be the eye of the storm in this circumstance as he stood over the shoulder of the ensign on duty at Chekhov's station.
Running toward his station Chekhov rapidly began rambling his explanations to the Commander who appeared almost stunned at his raggedy appearance.
"I'm wery sorry, sir. I misunderstood the chaose this alarm vould cause." Chekhov's accent stood out because of his hurry to explain the situation.
"Ensign Chekhov, please." Spock motioned for him to relieve the current ensign on duty.
"Yes, sir!" Chekhov stood at attention before quickly sitting in the vacant chair. He shot the previous ensign a grateful look before pressing a series of buttons on the screen. The screeching alarm came to a sudden stop causing a sigh of relief among the bridge crew.
Lieutenant Sulu was suddenly at the station beside him, relieving the previous navigator. "What's going on?" He asked as he got his bearings in order.
"That's what I'd like to know." Lieutenant Uhura replied relieving yet another officer. She yawned as she placed her earpiece on.
Both lieutenants looked at Spock, searching for answers as to why they had been so rudely awakened from their rests.
"I too am unaware as to why we were awakened at this hour." Spock told them both. "Only that an alarm was sent to my room." He turned to Ensign Chekhov who was avoiding his and everyone else's questioning looks.
Seeing that he had no alternative but to tell them the truth Chekhov explained.
"It was one of my experiments with the Captain." He stated knowing that Uhura, Sulu, and Spock would know exactly what he was talking about. "The Captain wanted to test new software he had created. I agreed to install it into the Enterprise's main system."
Ignoring the rest of the bridge crew's gasps he continued. "It was a simple program. Not too complex for a mainframe like that of the Enterprise. It only took relatively a few minutes to fully install it." His accent stood out but he was thankful it didn't twist too much of his words.
"And what exactly did this new software incorporate?" Uhura asked crossing her arms. She and the Captain had long ago settled their differences. He didn't push questions about her relationship with Spock, and she in return didn't bug him too much about his decisions.
Chekhov blushed before responding, "Unidfiedpersnl," he mumbled.
Sulu chuckled before saying, "A little clearer than that, Chekhov."
"Unidentified personnel. The software was Captain Kirk's idea as to our problem with people beaming onboard without the proper permissions."
The bridge was silent for a moment before Uhura burst out laughing, followed by Sulu and the rest of the crew. Even Spock seemed to be fighting a smile.
"You mean to tell me that Kirk created software that would detect if anyone beamed onboard the Enterprise illegally. The same way he did during the Nero conflict." Uhura said when she finally stopped laughing.
Chekhov blushed harder but nodded.
"Oh that is too good." Uhura burst into laughter again.
Sulu laughed for a few more seconds before asking, "Does it work?"
"Yes."
The bridge grew silent.
"Does this mean that there is someone on board the Enterprise that shouldn't be?" Uhura was deathly serious.
"The software was genius." Chekhov continued his explanation. "Not only does it detect unidentified personnel, vut it only sends an alarm on the bridge, making sure that any intruders are wuaware of their discovery."
"Which is also why only Spock, Sulu, you, and I rushed to the bridge without anyone else of the Alpha crew," Uhura discerned from Chekhov's account. "How did you get that alarm on my personal watch, by the way? I've never seen you tinkering with it."
Chekhov blushed some more but did not answer.
"Regardless of how Chekhov installed this new software into not only the Enterprise's systems but our personal watches and data padds, the matter is left unsaid that there is an intruder on board the Enterprise." Spock spoke up.
Turning to Chekhov Spock continued, "Can this software find the location of the intruder?"
Nodding Chekhov turned back to his station. Pressing a few more buttons he finally pulled up a screen with a red dot blinking in the center. "Permission to vull it wup on screen, Commander."
"Permission given."
Chekhov spun around and with one final button he pulled up the screen. Pointing to the red dot that was currently making its way through the residential corridors he murmured, "That is our intruder."
Spock nodded and ordered Uhura to call up security.
"Does this software give us any other information on the intruder?" Spock was clearly intrigued with the Captain's software, regardless of how many regulations he had broken.
"Vone second sir." Chekhov replied as he pulled up a list of evaluations the software had made on the intruder. "It appears that the intruder is only about two and a half feet tall, lean, male, and is currently being led around a crewmember."
"Anything else, ensign?"
"No sir, that is all the software has concluded about the intruder."
"Very well," Turning to Uhura Spock went on, "tell security what they should be looking for. I on the other hand will make my way down to see if I can intercept this intruder as well. Lieutenant Sulu, you have the bridge."
Commander Spock spun on his heel and walked into the lift.
Ensign Chekhov let out a sigh when he was gone. Beside him Sulu laughed, "I think that went well."
Chekhov glared at him. "I almost thought he vould take me off duty and send me home."
Uhura chuckled, "Are you kidding, Chekhov? He wouldn't send you home. He would exile you to some random planet though."
The bridge crew laughed remembering the Captain's previous situation.
Chekhov grumbled as he ignored the bridge crew's laughter.
He was counting down the hours until he could return back to his bed and dream about Russian Pirozhkis.
A.N. How'd ya like?
Russian Pirozhkis are some type of traditional Russian food (at least according to my Google search which might not be too accurate so I apologize).
Also how'd you like Yeoman Rand? I thought that part was the funniest. I also made her two years younger than Captain Kirk.
Hope you enjoy, please review.
