To Never Love Another
(Epilogue)
Eli looked in the mirror of his room that was covered in trash once more. He was already crying, but what was new? He had cried nonstop all week. He gazed upon the black suit with his black dress shirt underneath. In his hand was a beautiful white rose that was in perfect condition.
His mother came into his room wearing a black dress. She looked down at her baby thinking about the emotions that his beloved's parents must be feeling right now. She rested a hand on his shoulder as he looked up teary eyes. He followed her downstairs as she led him to her car. He began sobbing even harder.
"CeCe, this can't be the way it ends," he sobbed into his hands.
"Life is filled with impossibilities that become real," CeCe cried a little. Her baby never cried in front of anyone. He was falling apart.
"Are you ready?" she asked sympathetically to Eli. He only nodded into his tear covered hands as CeCe started the car and drove off to where they would put an end to her son's happiness. She dreaded it more than a bullet to the mouth.
Eli looked out of the window in the car, tracing his eyes over the rainy scene that they car raced by. It showed sadness. So much sadness that he closed his eyes to cut out the misery that was somehow always there. His mother parked the car and got out. He never moved a muscle. She waited a couple minutes and then came and opened the door for him and led him into the church.
Mr. and Ms. Edwards waited at the first pew for him. They each held out a hand so that he may grab it. They led him to the alter where she was. He gasped back some tears as Ms. Edwards rubbed his back.
She was dressed in white. She looked at peace. How? She went in the exact opposite way. Eli sobbed and grabbed her hand. She still looked beautiful. She was still her. She was still his. She was gone though. Her cold hand would never squeeze his back when he grabbed it. Her eyes would never glow the same blue as the sky ever again. Her cheeks would never catch the rush of blood when she would blush her gorgeous emotion. She'd never tell him that she loved him again. She was gone. He couldn't catch her.
Eli placed the pure white rose in her hand as he kissed his palm and laid it on her forehead. He grew weak as he sobbed again by her side.
"Let's go sit down, Sweetie," Ms. Edwards said as she led him to the family's private pew.
Eli soaked in every word as the priest spoke of heaven and his beloved's second life. He soaked it in forever. Yet he sobbed harder as her parents rubbed his back.
It all rushed by until it came his turn to talk about her. He got up naturally. He had nothing on paper. He didn't need it. He simply knew.
He rose to the podium behind her open casket. He sobbed a little more before he looked out upon the entire chapel. He saw strangers and friends. Adam and Alli sat in the back crying hardly as I went up to the microphone. I opened my mouth and it all flowed naturally.
"Clare. She was more than the world to me. She was the only thing that I needed in life, and now she's gone. When we were together there was this magic in the air that I will never forget. Clare was beautiful inside and out. She was a genius, she was kind, she was lovely, and she was mine. But somewhere along the way we accidently let go. I finally got her back one week ago. The day she died. She died! I found her alive after she jumped a cliff in sadness. I told her how much I loved her and she returned the same emotion. I remember planning out our entire lives together. It was to be beautiful. She was going to wear a beautiful white dress when we got married outside in a blooming meadow. We were going to be authors. We were going to have a beautiful house with enough room for two children. We wanted two girls: Christina and Bethany. If we got a boy his name would be Benjamin. We were going to have Thanksgiving with our whole families in our new house. Christmas would be alone with just us and our babies. We had it all planned out. It took one single mistake to crush all of this. It burned like a dry tree and now all I have is the ashes of memories. Our relationship was always easy, natural. We just flowed together. I wish that she would just be here again. So I could hold her once more. It shouldn't be over. I was actually ironically going to purpose the day she graduated high school. I already knew I'd get her a beautiful silver ring. I ended up getting it anyways," Eli lifted a silver ring from his pocket and held it up for the people to see, "I will always love you Clare Diane Edwards. But now I have to let go. I love you forever and I'll never find someone like you. Never, my love."
Eli walked to her casket and slipped the ring onto her finger as he sobbed hard. He walked to her parents where Adam, Alli, and Darcy waited with them. They went and lifted her casket and led it down the aisle. Time seemed to run slow as the crying audience's faces watched as Eli gravely, yet gingerly walked Clare's casket to where he had left Morty outside of the chapel last night. He opened the back and they laid her casket down in the back. He cried more and more as he went to the driver's seat and started the hearse up. Eli and Clare began their grave ride to the cemetery five miles away.
"This isn't how I wanted to let go. Clare, I hope you know I'll never love another person now that you're gone. It's funny in a grave way, I keep on praying that you're still alive back there and are going to open up the top of that damn casket so you can come sit in the front of the car with me like you always did," Eli waited for her to respond, praying that he had just given the magic cue. But she never opened it. She never came and sat next to him in her beautiful white lace dress. She wasn't there.
He sobbed against the wheel as he stopped at the stoplight by Degrassi. He could see the table that they'd shared their first kiss at. He could see the trees where they had laid in a hammock together. He saw it all.
The light turned green and they approached the cemetery he parked right in the clearing as Mr. Edwards, Ms. Edwards, Alli, Darcy, and Adam all came to help carry his beloved again.
They came to a gravestone in the rows that was shaped in a cross. I read CLARE DIANE EDWARDS: A wonderful and lovely daughter, sister, friend, and girlfriend. Let God let her rest in peace.
Eli and the others gingerly laid her down as one more prayer was read. An hour passed and everyone eventually left. That is, everyone but Eli.
He sat in front of her stone for three hours more as he sobbed and cried. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. He kept on crying in the rain until something unordinary happened.
The clouds parted just right to wear the light only hit her grave. The light sparkled slightly and Eli recognized the shade of the sky immediately. It was the shade of Clare's eyes. This was from her.
A sharp, warm wind hit Eli as a figure came out from behind the trees. She was dressed in all white with beautiful ivory skin. She had short, light brown curls that surrounded her face. She had the eyes of the sky. It was Clare.
She was grinning as she came up to Eli and set her hand on his shoulder. He smiled and all his tears dried. Clare stroked his cheek with her cold hand as she smiled.
"Clare, you came back," Eli mused to her. She giggled.
"I had to see you once more, especially after you gifted me this beautiful ring," she said in the same voice she had always had. She held up her left hand and gestured to her ring finger.
"You got it," Eli said with a smile.
"Gifts from the heart always go to the recipient," Clare said.
Eli took her smooth cheek in his hand and kissed her slowly as she kissed him back. This was their last together. This was their final happening. They released each other.
Clare hugged Eli tight as her light began to fade.
"Promise me you'll never forget me," she said into his shoulder. Eli let a tear fall onto the grass below them.
"Never," Eli said with more tears.
They held on a little longer.
"Is this the last time I will ever see you?" Eli choked under tears.
"Physically, yes, but I will always be with you mentally," she said as she patted back his hair. He sobbed again.
"I do not want to let you go," he sobbed into her shoulder.
"We cannot always keep what we want at hand, but we may always keep it at heart," Clare said as she began to rise in the light.
"I will love you until the end of eternity and time," Eli said as he held her hands while she was being pulled in the sky.
"I will love you for that and then more," Clare said to him with a sob.
Eli let go of one of her hands and then took in her image one last time. Her beauty and her grace would always stay present in his mind.
For the last time, Eli let go of Clare. He watched her drift away in the wind and I believe he would state it just as I did first.
He let go of her like a balloon in the wind. I should know, of course because I'm the one he let go. I am the one that never got to come back. I'm the one that let go of her second chanceā¦
I hope you loved my first tragedy book. If you want more books like this comment! Sorry to EliLover, soccerrox4, and beattleslover230 for causing you to cry! I hope you did enjoy this epilogue though! Please check out my original books on my website linked on my profile!
Love XOXO,
MadameLivi
