"You look amazing, baby…" Blaine's voice like satin spread around Kurt, and lulled him into a relaxed state. He smiled weakly as his heart fluttered.
"Thanks…" Was all he managed to say, but it was enough; Blaine knew he had said the right thing. It was a goal of his to make Kurt feel special about himself; it's what he deserved, more than anyone, in fact.
The Dalton boy winked before leaning forward across the table, bringing his body so close to Kurt's that the younger boy felt his body begin to throb with desire. It was as if Blaine was magnetized, and Kurt's body needed to be closer to him to serve its proper purpose.
"Blaine…" He faltered as he felt strong fingers lace their way through his own delicate ones, which were sweaty and shaky from his nerves. He shuddered and fought the urge to pull away to save the dapper boy from his clammy hands.
"Shh…" The older boy warned as he gently pressed his soft, tender lips against his love's flawless, porcelain cheek.
"Ahem!" Someone cleared their throat to get the two boy lovebirds attention, and when they didn't pull apart, the person repeated, "Ahem" even louder. Blaine sighed and pulled back from his perfect view, turning to catch a glimpse of their waiter.
"Yes?" He asked, mood on edge from the interruption, and ready to snap as he let his eyes travel up the enormously tall body and catch sight of the man's face. Blaine's eyes widened and he bit down on his lip hard in shock. "Oh, god…" He added in an undertone.
There standing before them was none other than Finn, it was painfully obvious, even with his ridiculous vending machine mustache plastered to his face. Kurt gasped and dropped his forehead to rest on the tips of his fingers. He slowly traced the menu decals with his free hand and focused on anything but his step-brother.
Blaine glanced over at his date sympathetically and then tore his eyes away, forcing himself to, once more, look at the football player.
"Welcome to this restaurant!" Finn announced kindly, his smile over-the-top and covered in smarm.
"Is… that the name of this place?" Blaine sassed, his eyebrows raised.
"Hmh?" Finn asked, his voice suddenly higher, nerves springing forth as he was faced with a question he didn't expect to be asked.
"Is that the name of this restaurant? "this restaurant" Blaine repeated, slower this time, and obviously emphasizing, as if he thought Finn was stupid. Finn clenched his fists and furrowed his brow, but erased the aggression from his face when he saw the Warbler's flash with recognition.
"Um, no. no its not... that's not the name."
"Then… what is the name?"
"Um, silly, don't you know that… why else would you come to this restaurant?" Finn felt little beads of perspiration welling up on his forehead, and he glanced over his shoulder trying to catch sight of a sign bearing the name of this eatery.
"No, were new to town." Blaine cheeked, his eyes shimmering with an air of mischievousness that Finn did not appreciate.
"That's a lie." Finn muttered as he shifted in his place and glanced over at Kurt, who was still refusing to look up from the menu.
"Hmh, what was that?" Blaine asked, cupping his ear, "I didn't quite catch that one."
"I… said…" Finn stammered, pausing for the time he needed to come up with something that he could pass off to Blaine. He looked down at the menu and then back up, "Were called Appetizers." He said the line, before even letting his brain process that the menu was simply listing the appetizers, not actually called appetizers.
Blaine chocked on the sip of water he had just taken and set down the cup.
"What?" He asked, wishing for nothing more than to hear Finn repeat that last line. Fin narrowed his eyes at the curly-headed demon that sat before him and he pulled out a rag from his back pocket.
"Here, sir, allow me." He patted the dirty rag across the warbler's sweater roughly making sure to make more of a mess, than do any real good. Blaine pressed himself back against the chair, eager to get away.
"No, really, I'm fine. That really isn't necessary." He added his eyes wide as he stared across the table at his date, silently begging for help.
"No, no the pleasure is all mine. It's my job." Finn smirked as he smeared the rag across Blaine face. "You've got a little on your face" He explained as he swiped the rag over the boy's sculpted lips. "There. I got it." He finished with a wide, crooked grin.
"Thank you…." Blaine whispered, his voice failing him as he bit his lip and furrowed his brows.
"Can we just order, please?" Kurt finally spoke, his voice quiet and dangerous. He was obviously not in the mood for this kind of tom-foolery, as he had made quite clear at the pizzeria.
Finn nodded pleasantly and said, "So, what'll it be then?" He pulled out the note pad that had been placed in the waist band of his apron, and scribbled a little note to himself about Blaine being even more problematic than they had previously anticipated.
Kurt sighed and recited their menu selection with perfect accuracy, earning him a soft and affectionate smile from the man who sat across from him.
"How did you know that's what I was going to order?" He asked bemused, a twinkle shimmering through his hazel eyes. The younger boy brushed the thought away with a wave of his hand, his own eyes dancing with the love he had acquired ever since meeting Blaine Anderson.
"Don't be silly. You order the same thing every single time, no matter what restaurant we go to, Blaine." Kurt bit his lip slowly and found himself falling deeper into those hazel eyes that he had become so accustomed to. He didn't care much about this restaurant, whatever the name may be, or the fact that his step-brother was the biggest dumb-ass on the entire planet, all that mattered right now was the boy who sat before him, cocking his head in amusement at Kurt's powers of observation.
"Wow." Blaine worded, his tongue slowly tracing the outside of his bottom lip, his gaze glued to the porcelain creature whose foot was slowly inching its way up his leg.
"Okay! New rule!" The "waiter" suddenly exclaimed as his fists slapped down onto the tabletop resounding with a dull thud. Neither star-crossed lover moved, or even bothered to glance at the eldest male, but that didn't stop Finn from complaining.
"No touching!" He added hastily. "That's the new rule."
"That doesn't make any sense, Finn." Kurt hissed in an undertone out the side of his mouth, his gaze never leaving Blaine's.
"I'm not Finn. I'm…" The giant paused, his mind suddenly went fuzzy and he couldn't think of any names besides Spiderman, but he didn't think that would be convincing enough to fool Kurt, maybe Blaine, but not Kurt.
"Salutations!" A new voice chirped, and Finn glanced down, completely abashed. It was the tiny boy from before, thought Finn, but what was his name? Chad? Theo? Well, it was something like that. He too was wearing a fake mustache, which made his face look even younger in comparison to the old hairball on his upper lip. He looked like a child who had a caterpillar crawling across his face. Finn noticed that he also had a matching soul patch, and sideburns. He was suddenly jealous.
"Came just in time, I see." Thad whispered in an undertone up at his partner in crime, who had to bend slightly, as inconspicuously as he could manage, which was an obvious fail.
Blaine's mouth hung ajar and Kurt could have sworn his left eye was twitching.
"Wha-" He started before Thad cut him off. He held out an arm with a fancy looking white rag draped across it; he very much looked the part of a fancy waiter, if he hadn't been wearing the ridiculous face accessory, that is.
"Hello, greetings and good wishes. My name is Clarence de moyee, and this is Theodore, but you may call him Ted, if you wish, it does seem to suit him more, if I do say so myself, but that is all gravy. What matters is your satisfaction. So, how can I serve you today?" Blaine shook his head, bewildered. It was almost as if he had taken LCD mixed it with some cannabis and then washed it all down with some scotch. That is how he would describe it when asked at a later venture. He had maniacs for friends, that's all there was to it.
"We…"
"Ah, yes, I see that you have already ordered, I'm sorry for the delay then!" Thad exclaimed as he snatched the notepad from the grip of the tall waiter and shoved it in his pocket "I'll get this taken care of right away, in the mean time, please do try to not touch." Kurt's mouth fell opened, and now the pair of them looked like a bunch of suffocating fish.
"Excuse me? What? Because were gay?"
"Ah, no. We are very gay-friendly in this establishment, but as my friend, Jed."
"I thought it was Ted." Blaine interrupted, as he twirled a lock of hair around his index finger absentmindedly, trying to stare at anything but the two idiots that he called friends.
"Um, correct. But Jed is his nickname."
"Isn't Ted a nickname for Theodore? Jed seems like a pretty silly nick name…"
"You're right Kurt; it does seem like a silly nickname, seeing as it's the exact name, except with a different first letter…almost as if someone…forgot…" Blaine's gaze flickered up and he stared at the short, mustachioed man, who squeaked and dropped his own gaze under the scrutiny of his vocal idol. "What their name was." The lead Warbler finished as he slid his name across the table to take his boyfriends once more.
"Um, as I was saying…" Thad started, completely side-stepping the entire awkward pile that he had just verbally "stepped in". "Ted was correct when he told you there was a no touching rule in this establishment. It's an abstinence restaurant."
"You've got to be shiti-"
"Also, it's a no swearing at your waiters restaurant."
"Okay, now you're just making stuff up." Blaine snapped as his gaze travelled between the two dunderheads who were standing before them.
"We don't lie here, it's also a no lying restur-"
"Yeah, thanks. I think I get it, Clarence." Blaine breathed as he clenched his jaw slightly and turned his gaze back upon Kurt, who looked more concerned by this worrisome display, than angry. It was almost as if his anger had bubbled up and he was now accepting his fate. Blaine was glad that Kurt had gotten through that stage of grieving, but unfortunately Blaine was stuck on anger.
"So, our order…" Kurt started, but was cut off by Thad jumping to attention and pulling Finn back through the door they had both come through.
"Well, that was weird…"
"Unlike anything I have ever experienced"
